Christmas Shopping (or: A Note on Apathy)
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Went shopping today, I though i'd make a list of the various rants. 1: Why does everyone leave their christmas shopping to the last minute? Does stuff get exponentially cheaper the closer it is to the day? 2: Why is it, that no matter how comfortable with yourself you are, you always feel uncomfortable shopping in the womens department for your mother/spouses christmas present, and that you always have to announce to the assistant that the clothes you are buying are not for you? 3: Why is it so hard for people to just stand out of the way when you try to squeeze your trolley past them because they are too busy talking? 4: Who decides what utter crap gets scheduled for TV on christmas day? 5: Why out of 8 large retail clothes shops do they all have exactly the same 3 items and never what you want? 6: Why does everyone decide that "If I go early, I'll beat the crowds!". Don't they realise that by everyone going early, the crowds start earlier??! 7: Why is Scrooge seen as a bad man? 8: Why do people cover their houses in lights? I mean, a wreath on the door a tree in the front room and maybe some candle lights in the window, but having light formations of Santa and the reindeer on your roof, and huge snowmen that light up in your front lawn, every inch of fencing is covered in twinkiling lights and every tree in the immediate area is lit up enough to dry the leaves out and kill the poor thing. 9: Who in the HELL invented blow up Santa's??? 10: Why is there a shop on Bold Street dedicated to nothing but the aforementioned lights and inflatable santas? That has christmas carols bellowing out of the door? I think I need to lay down for a minute.
Jonathan 'nonny' Newman blog.nonny.com [^]
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Went shopping today, I though i'd make a list of the various rants. 1: Why does everyone leave their christmas shopping to the last minute? Does stuff get exponentially cheaper the closer it is to the day? 2: Why is it, that no matter how comfortable with yourself you are, you always feel uncomfortable shopping in the womens department for your mother/spouses christmas present, and that you always have to announce to the assistant that the clothes you are buying are not for you? 3: Why is it so hard for people to just stand out of the way when you try to squeeze your trolley past them because they are too busy talking? 4: Who decides what utter crap gets scheduled for TV on christmas day? 5: Why out of 8 large retail clothes shops do they all have exactly the same 3 items and never what you want? 6: Why does everyone decide that "If I go early, I'll beat the crowds!". Don't they realise that by everyone going early, the crowds start earlier??! 7: Why is Scrooge seen as a bad man? 8: Why do people cover their houses in lights? I mean, a wreath on the door a tree in the front room and maybe some candle lights in the window, but having light formations of Santa and the reindeer on your roof, and huge snowmen that light up in your front lawn, every inch of fencing is covered in twinkiling lights and every tree in the immediate area is lit up enough to dry the leaves out and kill the poor thing. 9: Who in the HELL invented blow up Santa's??? 10: Why is there a shop on Bold Street dedicated to nothing but the aforementioned lights and inflatable santas? That has christmas carols bellowing out of the door? I think I need to lay down for a minute.
Jonathan 'nonny' Newman blog.nonny.com [^]
Jonny Newman wrote: think I need to lay down for a minute. For more than a minute, I think. :) Ten minutes of relaxation therapy sounds in order to me. Or maybe some liquid refreshments to calm one down. :) Remember it is only Christmas and the sun is still going to rise on December 26th. Chris Meech It's much easier to get rich telling people what they want to hear. Christopher Duncan I can't help getting older, but I refuse to grow up. Roger Wright I've been meaning to change my sig. Thanks! Alvaro Mendez We're more like a hobbiest in a Home Depot drooling at all the shiny power tools, rather than a craftsman that makes the chair to an exacting level of comfort by measuring the customer's butt. Marc Clifton
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Jonny Newman wrote: think I need to lay down for a minute. For more than a minute, I think. :) Ten minutes of relaxation therapy sounds in order to me. Or maybe some liquid refreshments to calm one down. :) Remember it is only Christmas and the sun is still going to rise on December 26th. Chris Meech It's much easier to get rich telling people what they want to hear. Christopher Duncan I can't help getting older, but I refuse to grow up. Roger Wright I've been meaning to change my sig. Thanks! Alvaro Mendez We're more like a hobbiest in a Home Depot drooling at all the shiny power tools, rather than a craftsman that makes the chair to an exacting level of comfort by measuring the customer's butt. Marc Clifton
I'm gonna take a glass of wine to my room, light some tibetan inscense, read some more, write some more...sleep a lot more.
Jonathan 'nonny' Newman blog.nonny.com [^]
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Went shopping today, I though i'd make a list of the various rants. 1: Why does everyone leave their christmas shopping to the last minute? Does stuff get exponentially cheaper the closer it is to the day? 2: Why is it, that no matter how comfortable with yourself you are, you always feel uncomfortable shopping in the womens department for your mother/spouses christmas present, and that you always have to announce to the assistant that the clothes you are buying are not for you? 3: Why is it so hard for people to just stand out of the way when you try to squeeze your trolley past them because they are too busy talking? 4: Who decides what utter crap gets scheduled for TV on christmas day? 5: Why out of 8 large retail clothes shops do they all have exactly the same 3 items and never what you want? 6: Why does everyone decide that "If I go early, I'll beat the crowds!". Don't they realise that by everyone going early, the crowds start earlier??! 7: Why is Scrooge seen as a bad man? 8: Why do people cover their houses in lights? I mean, a wreath on the door a tree in the front room and maybe some candle lights in the window, but having light formations of Santa and the reindeer on your roof, and huge snowmen that light up in your front lawn, every inch of fencing is covered in twinkiling lights and every tree in the immediate area is lit up enough to dry the leaves out and kill the poor thing. 9: Who in the HELL invented blow up Santa's??? 10: Why is there a shop on Bold Street dedicated to nothing but the aforementioned lights and inflatable santas? That has christmas carols bellowing out of the door? I think I need to lay down for a minute.
Jonathan 'nonny' Newman blog.nonny.com [^]
Jonny Newman wrote: Does stuff get exponentially cheaper the closer it is to the day? In many stores the prices do come down the closer it gets to Christmas. They order huge lots of merchandise and don't want to get stuck with it after the holiday. Jonny Newman wrote: Why out of 8 large retail clothes shops do they all have exactly the same 3 items and never what you want? Because nobody else wanted those things, either. Jonny Newman wrote: Who in the HELL invented blow up Santa's??? I'm not sure, but I think it's the same tasteless imbecile who invented pink flamingo statues and lawn jockeys. "Another day done - All targets met; all systems fully operational; all customers satisfied; all staff keen and well motivated; all pigs fed and ready to fly" - Jennie A.
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I'm gonna take a glass of wine to my room, light some tibetan inscense, read some more, write some more...sleep a lot more.
Jonathan 'nonny' Newman blog.nonny.com [^]
Sounds like a good plan.
"Things are not what they seem. Nor are they any different."
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Jonny Newman wrote: Does stuff get exponentially cheaper the closer it is to the day? In many stores the prices do come down the closer it gets to Christmas. They order huge lots of merchandise and don't want to get stuck with it after the holiday. Jonny Newman wrote: Why out of 8 large retail clothes shops do they all have exactly the same 3 items and never what you want? Because nobody else wanted those things, either. Jonny Newman wrote: Who in the HELL invented blow up Santa's??? I'm not sure, but I think it's the same tasteless imbecile who invented pink flamingo statues and lawn jockeys. "Another day done - All targets met; all systems fully operational; all customers satisfied; all staff keen and well motivated; all pigs fed and ready to fly" - Jennie A.
Roger Wright wrote: tasteless ... pink flamingo statues / lawn jockeys Whaaa?:wtf: In certain circles, I think, its a sign that you've made some good fiscal choices and things are looking up. "Did you see? The Farnsworth's have a pink flamingo family in the yard." "Well, la-deee-daaa"
"Things are not what they seem. Nor are they any different."
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Went shopping today, I though i'd make a list of the various rants. 1: Why does everyone leave their christmas shopping to the last minute? Does stuff get exponentially cheaper the closer it is to the day? 2: Why is it, that no matter how comfortable with yourself you are, you always feel uncomfortable shopping in the womens department for your mother/spouses christmas present, and that you always have to announce to the assistant that the clothes you are buying are not for you? 3: Why is it so hard for people to just stand out of the way when you try to squeeze your trolley past them because they are too busy talking? 4: Who decides what utter crap gets scheduled for TV on christmas day? 5: Why out of 8 large retail clothes shops do they all have exactly the same 3 items and never what you want? 6: Why does everyone decide that "If I go early, I'll beat the crowds!". Don't they realise that by everyone going early, the crowds start earlier??! 7: Why is Scrooge seen as a bad man? 8: Why do people cover their houses in lights? I mean, a wreath on the door a tree in the front room and maybe some candle lights in the window, but having light formations of Santa and the reindeer on your roof, and huge snowmen that light up in your front lawn, every inch of fencing is covered in twinkiling lights and every tree in the immediate area is lit up enough to dry the leaves out and kill the poor thing. 9: Who in the HELL invented blow up Santa's??? 10: Why is there a shop on Bold Street dedicated to nothing but the aforementioned lights and inflatable santas? That has christmas carols bellowing out of the door? I think I need to lay down for a minute.
Jonathan 'nonny' Newman blog.nonny.com [^]
Jonny Newman wrote: Why does everyone leave their christmas shopping to the last minute? Lets see, are you complaining that everyone else waited to the last minute just like you did? :) Of course, everyone knows that if it wasn't for the last minute nothing would ever get done. Jonny Newman wrote: Why is it, that no matter how comfortable with yourself you are, you always feel uncomfortable shopping in the womens department for your mother/spouses christmas present Because in your subconscience you think that everyone thinks you are some kind of pervert. Jonny Newman wrote: Who in the HELL invented blow up Santa's??? I don't know, but my neighbors on either side have blow up Frosty's in addition to the singing/dancing Santas. :omg: Gary Kirkham A working Program is one that has only unobserved bugs I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks
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Went shopping today, I though i'd make a list of the various rants. 1: Why does everyone leave their christmas shopping to the last minute? Does stuff get exponentially cheaper the closer it is to the day? 2: Why is it, that no matter how comfortable with yourself you are, you always feel uncomfortable shopping in the womens department for your mother/spouses christmas present, and that you always have to announce to the assistant that the clothes you are buying are not for you? 3: Why is it so hard for people to just stand out of the way when you try to squeeze your trolley past them because they are too busy talking? 4: Who decides what utter crap gets scheduled for TV on christmas day? 5: Why out of 8 large retail clothes shops do they all have exactly the same 3 items and never what you want? 6: Why does everyone decide that "If I go early, I'll beat the crowds!". Don't they realise that by everyone going early, the crowds start earlier??! 7: Why is Scrooge seen as a bad man? 8: Why do people cover their houses in lights? I mean, a wreath on the door a tree in the front room and maybe some candle lights in the window, but having light formations of Santa and the reindeer on your roof, and huge snowmen that light up in your front lawn, every inch of fencing is covered in twinkiling lights and every tree in the immediate area is lit up enough to dry the leaves out and kill the poor thing. 9: Who in the HELL invented blow up Santa's??? 10: Why is there a shop on Bold Street dedicated to nothing but the aforementioned lights and inflatable santas? That has christmas carols bellowing out of the door? I think I need to lay down for a minute.
Jonathan 'nonny' Newman blog.nonny.com [^]
- You've never heard? While there's Life, there's Hope. In this case, there's the Hope that you might Die before Christmas, and thus get out of shopping. 2) Yes, this is certainly a sad, sad behavior. Fight against it next time, by loudly announcing the name and size of each item you pick up, followed by "i hope this isn't too tight on me". 3) We're busy talking here - find somewhere else to push your cart. 4) The same people who decide on the utter crap that gets scheduled on TV the other 364 days of the year. 5) It's a conspiracy - if they allowed people to easily buy giant nutria hats and corduroy night gowns, then they'd never sell anything else! 6) These are the people with no Hope (see #1). And people with no Hope tend to do stupid things. 7) An incompetent biographer. 8) You must also have noticed: the people who do this tend to put them up early... See #6. 9) The same person (in HELL, of course) who invented the other blow up humans. 10) Never been to Bold Street, but taking #6 and #9 into account, i would say that this is a Gateway to HELL, for those who have no Hope. ;) Z
no one puts flowers
on a flower's grave
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Went shopping today, I though i'd make a list of the various rants. 1: Why does everyone leave their christmas shopping to the last minute? Does stuff get exponentially cheaper the closer it is to the day? 2: Why is it, that no matter how comfortable with yourself you are, you always feel uncomfortable shopping in the womens department for your mother/spouses christmas present, and that you always have to announce to the assistant that the clothes you are buying are not for you? 3: Why is it so hard for people to just stand out of the way when you try to squeeze your trolley past them because they are too busy talking? 4: Who decides what utter crap gets scheduled for TV on christmas day? 5: Why out of 8 large retail clothes shops do they all have exactly the same 3 items and never what you want? 6: Why does everyone decide that "If I go early, I'll beat the crowds!". Don't they realise that by everyone going early, the crowds start earlier??! 7: Why is Scrooge seen as a bad man? 8: Why do people cover their houses in lights? I mean, a wreath on the door a tree in the front room and maybe some candle lights in the window, but having light formations of Santa and the reindeer on your roof, and huge snowmen that light up in your front lawn, every inch of fencing is covered in twinkiling lights and every tree in the immediate area is lit up enough to dry the leaves out and kill the poor thing. 9: Who in the HELL invented blow up Santa's??? 10: Why is there a shop on Bold Street dedicated to nothing but the aforementioned lights and inflatable santas? That has christmas carols bellowing out of the door? I think I need to lay down for a minute.
Jonathan 'nonny' Newman blog.nonny.com [^]
Jonny Newman wrote: Why does everyone leave their christmas shopping to the last minute? Does stuff get exponentially cheaper the closer it is to the day? According to news reports, consumers are getting smarter. They know that this is the biggest of time of year for retailers. They also know that retailers reduce prices to help reduce the stock-levels after the new year. Therefore consumers are leaving shopping till the last minute and therefore retailers are having to start their sales before the traditional post Christmas period. People power at work. Jonny Newman wrote: 3: Why is it so hard for people to just stand out of the way when you try to squeeze your trolley past them because they are too busy talking? Best strategy is to just say excuse me in a loud voice and then push through anyway. They soon move out of the way. ;-) Michael Snow is lying on the ground, and in the air the sleigh bells sound, The frosted patterned window panes, it's British summer time again. No, it's not, It's Christmas - Santa Claus in on the Dole (Spitting Image 1986)
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- You've never heard? While there's Life, there's Hope. In this case, there's the Hope that you might Die before Christmas, and thus get out of shopping. 2) Yes, this is certainly a sad, sad behavior. Fight against it next time, by loudly announcing the name and size of each item you pick up, followed by "i hope this isn't too tight on me". 3) We're busy talking here - find somewhere else to push your cart. 4) The same people who decide on the utter crap that gets scheduled on TV the other 364 days of the year. 5) It's a conspiracy - if they allowed people to easily buy giant nutria hats and corduroy night gowns, then they'd never sell anything else! 6) These are the people with no Hope (see #1). And people with no Hope tend to do stupid things. 7) An incompetent biographer. 8) You must also have noticed: the people who do this tend to put them up early... See #6. 9) The same person (in HELL, of course) who invented the other blow up humans. 10) Never been to Bold Street, but taking #6 and #9 into account, i would say that this is a Gateway to HELL, for those who have no Hope. ;) Z
no one puts flowers
on a flower's grave
You really do have all the answers. Though I'd hate to go shopping with you :-S In regard to Bold Street, it was funny that most people on the side of the street with the shop, crossed over and walked on the other side, as if worried that they might be snatched in by the huge santa doll in the doorway.
Jonathan 'nonny' Newman blog.nonny.com [^]
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Roger Wright wrote: tasteless ... pink flamingo statues / lawn jockeys Whaaa?:wtf: In certain circles, I think, its a sign that you've made some good fiscal choices and things are looking up. "Did you see? The Farnsworth's have a pink flamingo family in the yard." "Well, la-deee-daaa"
"Things are not what they seem. Nor are they any different."
Lawn Jockey[^] Pink Flamingo Lawnware[^] The true nadir in American taste! "No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public" - H. L. Mencken
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Jonny Newman wrote: Why does everyone leave their christmas shopping to the last minute? Does stuff get exponentially cheaper the closer it is to the day? According to news reports, consumers are getting smarter. They know that this is the biggest of time of year for retailers. They also know that retailers reduce prices to help reduce the stock-levels after the new year. Therefore consumers are leaving shopping till the last minute and therefore retailers are having to start their sales before the traditional post Christmas period. People power at work. Jonny Newman wrote: 3: Why is it so hard for people to just stand out of the way when you try to squeeze your trolley past them because they are too busy talking? Best strategy is to just say excuse me in a loud voice and then push through anyway. They soon move out of the way. ;-) Michael Snow is lying on the ground, and in the air the sleigh bells sound, The frosted patterned window panes, it's British summer time again. No, it's not, It's Christmas - Santa Claus in on the Dole (Spitting Image 1986)
"Best strategy is to just say excuse me in a loud voice and then push through anyway. They soon move out of the way. " I Think it is just human nature of the less intelligent or inbred, not to stand in the space either side of the main aisle, but instead to stand where all the trolleys are more likely to pass and force them to bypass and go into the smallest gaps.
Jonathan 'nonny' Newman blog.nonny.com [^]
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You really do have all the answers. Though I'd hate to go shopping with you :-S In regard to Bold Street, it was funny that most people on the side of the street with the shop, crossed over and walked on the other side, as if worried that they might be snatched in by the huge santa doll in the doorway.
Jonathan 'nonny' Newman blog.nonny.com [^]
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Lawn Jockey[^] Pink Flamingo Lawnware[^] The true nadir in American taste! "No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public" - H. L. Mencken
Roger Wright wrote: Pink Flamingo Lawnware[^] :-D Did you read the reviews? People love their flamingoes.
"Things are not what they seem. Nor are they any different."
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Roger Wright wrote: Pink Flamingo Lawnware[^] :-D Did you read the reviews? People love their flamingoes.
"Things are not what they seem. Nor are they any different."
Mencken was a very observant man...:-D "Another day done - All targets met; all systems fully operational; all customers satisfied; all staff keen and well motivated; all pigs fed and ready to fly" - Jennie A.
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- You've never heard? While there's Life, there's Hope. In this case, there's the Hope that you might Die before Christmas, and thus get out of shopping. 2) Yes, this is certainly a sad, sad behavior. Fight against it next time, by loudly announcing the name and size of each item you pick up, followed by "i hope this isn't too tight on me". 3) We're busy talking here - find somewhere else to push your cart. 4) The same people who decide on the utter crap that gets scheduled on TV the other 364 days of the year. 5) It's a conspiracy - if they allowed people to easily buy giant nutria hats and corduroy night gowns, then they'd never sell anything else! 6) These are the people with no Hope (see #1). And people with no Hope tend to do stupid things. 7) An incompetent biographer. 8) You must also have noticed: the people who do this tend to put them up early... See #6. 9) The same person (in HELL, of course) who invented the other blow up humans. 10) Never been to Bold Street, but taking #6 and #9 into account, i would say that this is a Gateway to HELL, for those who have no Hope. ;) Z
no one puts flowers
on a flower's grave
Shog9 wrote: "i hope this isn't too tight on me". I like to hold them up and ask the salesgirl, "Do you think this will make me look fat?" Turnabout is fair play. It's also fun to shop for shoes. When I was buying cross-training shoes (whatever happenned to just plain sneakers?), I tracked down a young salesman and asked him if I am required to cross-dress while wearing cross-training shoes. Some expressions are just priceless to watch.:-D "Another day done - All targets met; all systems fully operational; all customers satisfied; all staff keen and well motivated; all pigs fed and ready to fly" - Jennie A.
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"Best strategy is to just say excuse me in a loud voice and then push through anyway. They soon move out of the way. " I Think it is just human nature of the less intelligent or inbred, not to stand in the space either side of the main aisle, but instead to stand where all the trolleys are more likely to pass and force them to bypass and go into the smallest gaps.
Jonathan 'nonny' Newman blog.nonny.com [^]
Jonny Newman wrote: human nature of the less intelligent or inbred I think of it as a herd instinct, common to most ruminants. Aisle herds have other unpleasant habits, as well. "Methane, a potent greenhouse gas, is a major contributor to global warming. In fact, globally, livestock are the largest source of methane from human-related activities – and in the U.S., the third largest source. Livestock production can also result in emissions of nitrous oxide, a very potent greenhouse gas, and carbon dioxide, the most abundant greenhouse gas." - From the EPA's Ruminant Livestock Efficiency Program[^] "Another day done - All targets met; all systems fully operational; all customers satisfied; all staff keen and well motivated; all pigs fed and ready to fly" - Jennie A.
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Mencken was a very observant man...:-D "Another day done - All targets met; all systems fully operational; all customers satisfied; all staff keen and well motivated; all pigs fed and ready to fly" - Jennie A.
A man may be a fool and not know it -- but not if he is married. -HL Mencken I guess to prove his point, I went through the reviews looking for one written by some guy named Mencken. :-O
"Things are not what they seem. Nor are they any different."
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Went shopping today, I though i'd make a list of the various rants. 1: Why does everyone leave their christmas shopping to the last minute? Does stuff get exponentially cheaper the closer it is to the day? 2: Why is it, that no matter how comfortable with yourself you are, you always feel uncomfortable shopping in the womens department for your mother/spouses christmas present, and that you always have to announce to the assistant that the clothes you are buying are not for you? 3: Why is it so hard for people to just stand out of the way when you try to squeeze your trolley past them because they are too busy talking? 4: Who decides what utter crap gets scheduled for TV on christmas day? 5: Why out of 8 large retail clothes shops do they all have exactly the same 3 items and never what you want? 6: Why does everyone decide that "If I go early, I'll beat the crowds!". Don't they realise that by everyone going early, the crowds start earlier??! 7: Why is Scrooge seen as a bad man? 8: Why do people cover their houses in lights? I mean, a wreath on the door a tree in the front room and maybe some candle lights in the window, but having light formations of Santa and the reindeer on your roof, and huge snowmen that light up in your front lawn, every inch of fencing is covered in twinkiling lights and every tree in the immediate area is lit up enough to dry the leaves out and kill the poor thing. 9: Who in the HELL invented blow up Santa's??? 10: Why is there a shop on Bold Street dedicated to nothing but the aforementioned lights and inflatable santas? That has christmas carols bellowing out of the door? I think I need to lay down for a minute.
Jonathan 'nonny' Newman blog.nonny.com [^]
- Mostly members of the "Jesus didn' die for shopping" anti-consumerism movement group, and proud. We shun and defy the whole pseudoclerical sales pitch starting with the fall of the leaves.* The last-minute-purchases are a little technical problem with that attitude (since we found preset-exchange is inherentl mutual), but we are working on ways to rectify this. 2) Ummmm... You got caught once, right? ;P 3) Ohhh... those Trolley-Pushers!!! Ignoring the most christmas-like thing on this earth: a nice nigh-before-christmas chat with a fellow in the "prewrapped gifts" aisle! Don't get me started on them! 4) Me. I actually quite like it. You not? 5) What does this have to do with Christmas? 6) It's not my fault they always follow me! 7) NOW you are talking! Go Scrooge Go Go Go!!! 8) "My dad got more lamps than your dad" 9) Not Me. And I deeply regret. 10) Out of the door?! Now talk about evil! Don't mis the presents ;)
Flirt harder, I'm a coder.
mlog || Agile Programming | doxygen -
- Mostly members of the "Jesus didn' die for shopping" anti-consumerism movement group, and proud. We shun and defy the whole pseudoclerical sales pitch starting with the fall of the leaves.* The last-minute-purchases are a little technical problem with that attitude (since we found preset-exchange is inherentl mutual), but we are working on ways to rectify this. 2) Ummmm... You got caught once, right? ;P 3) Ohhh... those Trolley-Pushers!!! Ignoring the most christmas-like thing on this earth: a nice nigh-before-christmas chat with a fellow in the "prewrapped gifts" aisle! Don't get me started on them! 4) Me. I actually quite like it. You not? 5) What does this have to do with Christmas? 6) It's not my fault they always follow me! 7) NOW you are talking! Go Scrooge Go Go Go!!! 8) "My dad got more lamps than your dad" 9) Not Me. And I deeply regret. 10) Out of the door?! Now talk about evil! Don't mis the presents ;)
Flirt harder, I'm a coder.
mlog || Agile Programming | doxygenpeterchen wrote: 2) Ummmm... You got caught once, right? No, but I still fear I might... peterchen wrote: 5) What does this have to do with Christmas? Read the post title again....I was shopping for presents.
Jonathan 'nonny' Newman blog.nonny.com [^]