Jokes
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I got these by email, you may have seen them already but too bad. > *Child's Perspective on Retirement* > > A teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their vacation. One > child wrote the following: > > "We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They > used to live here in a big brick house, but Grandpa got retarded and > they moved to Florida and now they live in a place with a lot of other > retarded people. > > "They live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. > They ride around on big tricycles and wear nametags because they don't > know who they are anymore. They go to a building called a wrecked > center, but they must have got it fixed, because it is all right now. > > They play games and do exercises there, but they don't do them very > well. There is a swimming pool, too, but they all jump up and down in it > with their hats on. I guess they don't know how to swim. > > At their gate, there is a dollhouse with a little old man sitting in it. > He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out. Then > they go cruising in their golf carts. > > My Grandma used to bake cookies and stuff, but I guess she forgot how. > Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And they eat the same thing every > night: Early Birds. Some of the people can't get past the man in the > dollhouse to go out. So the ones who do get out bring food back to the > wrecked center and call it potluck. > > My Grandma says Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and > says I should work hard so I can be retarded some day, too. When I earn > my retardment I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let > people out so they can visit their grandchildren." and > *Top Ten Signs Your Co-worker Is a Computer Hacker* > > 10. You ticked him off once, and your next phone bill was for $20,000. > > 9. He's won the Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes 3 years running. > > 8. When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex. > > 7. Seems strangely calm whenever the office computer network goes down. > > 6. Somehow gets HBO on his PC at work. > > 5. Mumbled, "Oh, puh-leeez" 95 times during the movie "The Net." > > 4. Massive 401k contribution made in half-cent increments. > > 3. His video dating profile lists "public-key encryption" among hobbies. > > 2. When his computer starts up, you hear, "Good Morning, Mr. President." > > 1. You hear him murmur, "Let's see you use that Visa card now, Professor > I-Don't-Give-A's-
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I got these by email, you may have seen them already but too bad. > *Child's Perspective on Retirement* > > A teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their vacation. One > child wrote the following: > > "We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They > used to live here in a big brick house, but Grandpa got retarded and > they moved to Florida and now they live in a place with a lot of other > retarded people. > > "They live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. > They ride around on big tricycles and wear nametags because they don't > know who they are anymore. They go to a building called a wrecked > center, but they must have got it fixed, because it is all right now. > > They play games and do exercises there, but they don't do them very > well. There is a swimming pool, too, but they all jump up and down in it > with their hats on. I guess they don't know how to swim. > > At their gate, there is a dollhouse with a little old man sitting in it. > He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out. Then > they go cruising in their golf carts. > > My Grandma used to bake cookies and stuff, but I guess she forgot how. > Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And they eat the same thing every > night: Early Birds. Some of the people can't get past the man in the > dollhouse to go out. So the ones who do get out bring food back to the > wrecked center and call it potluck. > > My Grandma says Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and > says I should work hard so I can be retarded some day, too. When I earn > my retardment I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let > people out so they can visit their grandchildren." and > *Top Ten Signs Your Co-worker Is a Computer Hacker* > > 10. You ticked him off once, and your next phone bill was for $20,000. > > 9. He's won the Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes 3 years running. > > 8. When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex. > > 7. Seems strangely calm whenever the office computer network goes down. > > 6. Somehow gets HBO on his PC at work. > > 5. Mumbled, "Oh, puh-leeez" 95 times during the movie "The Net." > > 4. Massive 401k contribution made in half-cent increments. > > 3. His video dating profile lists "public-key encryption" among hobbies. > > 2. When his computer starts up, you hear, "Good Morning, Mr. President." > > 1. You hear him murmur, "Let's see you use that Visa card now, Professor > I-Don't-Give-A's-
I liked the retarded one best :-) Regardz Colin J Davies
Sonork ID 100.9197:Colin
I think it's interesting that we often qu-ote each other in our sigs and attribute the qu-otes to "The Lounge". --- Daniel Fergusson, "The Lounge"
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I liked the retarded one best :-) Regardz Colin J Davies
Sonork ID 100.9197:Colin
I think it's interesting that we often qu-ote each other in our sigs and attribute the qu-otes to "The Lounge". --- Daniel Fergusson, "The Lounge"
That one was my favorite too. -:suss:Matt Newman / Anti-Linux Activist:suss: -Sonork ID: 100.11179:BestSnowman
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I got these by email, you may have seen them already but too bad. > *Child's Perspective on Retirement* > > A teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their vacation. One > child wrote the following: > > "We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They > used to live here in a big brick house, but Grandpa got retarded and > they moved to Florida and now they live in a place with a lot of other > retarded people. > > "They live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. > They ride around on big tricycles and wear nametags because they don't > know who they are anymore. They go to a building called a wrecked > center, but they must have got it fixed, because it is all right now. > > They play games and do exercises there, but they don't do them very > well. There is a swimming pool, too, but they all jump up and down in it > with their hats on. I guess they don't know how to swim. > > At their gate, there is a dollhouse with a little old man sitting in it. > He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out. Then > they go cruising in their golf carts. > > My Grandma used to bake cookies and stuff, but I guess she forgot how. > Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And they eat the same thing every > night: Early Birds. Some of the people can't get past the man in the > dollhouse to go out. So the ones who do get out bring food back to the > wrecked center and call it potluck. > > My Grandma says Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and > says I should work hard so I can be retarded some day, too. When I earn > my retardment I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let > people out so they can visit their grandchildren." and > *Top Ten Signs Your Co-worker Is a Computer Hacker* > > 10. You ticked him off once, and your next phone bill was for $20,000. > > 9. He's won the Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes 3 years running. > > 8. When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex. > > 7. Seems strangely calm whenever the office computer network goes down. > > 6. Somehow gets HBO on his PC at work. > > 5. Mumbled, "Oh, puh-leeez" 95 times during the movie "The Net." > > 4. Massive 401k contribution made in half-cent increments. > > 3. His video dating profile lists "public-key encryption" among hobbies. > > 2. When his computer starts up, you hear, "Good Morning, Mr. President." > > 1. You hear him murmur, "Let's see you use that Visa card now, Professor > I-Don't-Give-A's-
8. When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex. Doesn't everybody? John
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8. When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex. Doesn't everybody? John
Uh... Yeah -:suss:Matt Newman / Windows XP Activist:suss: -Sonork ID: 100.11179:BestSnowman
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8. When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex. Doesn't everybody? John
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I got these by email, you may have seen them already but too bad. > *Child's Perspective on Retirement* > > A teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their vacation. One > child wrote the following: > > "We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They > used to live here in a big brick house, but Grandpa got retarded and > they moved to Florida and now they live in a place with a lot of other > retarded people. > > "They live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. > They ride around on big tricycles and wear nametags because they don't > know who they are anymore. They go to a building called a wrecked > center, but they must have got it fixed, because it is all right now. > > They play games and do exercises there, but they don't do them very > well. There is a swimming pool, too, but they all jump up and down in it > with their hats on. I guess they don't know how to swim. > > At their gate, there is a dollhouse with a little old man sitting in it. > He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out. Then > they go cruising in their golf carts. > > My Grandma used to bake cookies and stuff, but I guess she forgot how. > Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And they eat the same thing every > night: Early Birds. Some of the people can't get past the man in the > dollhouse to go out. So the ones who do get out bring food back to the > wrecked center and call it potluck. > > My Grandma says Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and > says I should work hard so I can be retarded some day, too. When I earn > my retardment I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let > people out so they can visit their grandchildren." and > *Top Ten Signs Your Co-worker Is a Computer Hacker* > > 10. You ticked him off once, and your next phone bill was for $20,000. > > 9. He's won the Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes 3 years running. > > 8. When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex. > > 7. Seems strangely calm whenever the office computer network goes down. > > 6. Somehow gets HBO on his PC at work. > > 5. Mumbled, "Oh, puh-leeez" 95 times during the movie "The Net." > > 4. Massive 401k contribution made in half-cent increments. > > 3. His video dating profile lists "public-key encryption" among hobbies. > > 2. When his computer starts up, you hear, "Good Morning, Mr. President." > > 1. You hear him murmur, "Let's see you use that Visa card now, Professor > I-Don't-Give-A's-