blind man [modified]
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Do I smell an Attention Deficiency Disorder, young man?
We are a big screwed up dysfunctional psychotic happy family - some more screwed up, others more happy, but everybody's psychotic joint venture definition of CP
My first real C# project | Linkify!|FoldWithUs! | sighist -
sk8er_boy287 wrote:
If I read this I'll fall asleep!
I totally agree, I'm not interested in reading such long posts just to have some laugh!! jokes must be short and funny, like this one.. Q: Why does the giraffe have a long nick?? A: So she can reach her far head. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?? A: To get to the other side of the road. Q: Why did the duck cross the road?? A: Because she was bound to the chicken!! But watch out, I got 1s until that post almost disappeared:laugh: I guess that was my joke after all, to piss everyone off:laugh:
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight! (\ /) (O.o) (><)
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Do I smell an Attention Deficiency Disorder, young man?
We are a big screwed up dysfunctional psychotic happy family - some more screwed up, others more happy, but everybody's psychotic joint venture definition of CP
My first real C# project | Linkify!|FoldWithUs! | sighistI think the original post looks awkward because of its bad formatting. So many line breaks in between.
Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself. - Cicero ப்ரம்மா
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Do I smell an Attention Deficiency Disorder, young man?
We are a big screwed up dysfunctional psychotic happy family - some more screwed up, others more happy, but everybody's psychotic joint venture definition of CP
My first real C# project | Linkify!|FoldWithUs! | sighist -
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm sorry sir, but I am blind, and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I'll smell it and order from there." A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. "Ah, yes that's what I'll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes." Unbelievable, the owner says to himself as he walks towards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife and he tells her what had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves. Several days later the blind man returns and the owner mistakingly brings him a menu again. "Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man." "I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork." The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man. After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great, I'll take the Macarroni and chesse with broccoli. Once again walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in he's going to test him. The blind man eats and leaves. He returns the following week, but this time the owner see's him coming and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, "Mary rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man." Mary complies and hands her husband the fork back. As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting. "Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you." The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and says, "Hey I didn't know that Mary worked here?" :-D:laugh::laugh: -- modified at 4:42 Monday 2nd April, 2007
This must be at the soapbox. :zzz:
Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself. - Cicero ப்ரம்மா
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A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm sorry sir, but I am blind, and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I'll smell it and order from there." A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. "Ah, yes that's what I'll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes." Unbelievable, the owner says to himself as he walks towards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife and he tells her what had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves. Several days later the blind man returns and the owner mistakingly brings him a menu again. "Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man." "I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork." The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man. After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great, I'll take the Macarroni and chesse with broccoli. Once again walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in he's going to test him. The blind man eats and leaves. He returns the following week, but this time the owner see's him coming and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, "Mary rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man." Mary complies and hands her husband the fork back. As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting. "Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you." The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and says, "Hey I didn't know that Mary worked here?" :-D:laugh::laugh: -- modified at 4:42 Monday 2nd April, 2007
Funny! :laugh:
//This is not a signature while (I'm_alive) { cout<<"I Love Programming"; }
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A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm sorry sir, but I am blind, and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I'll smell it and order from there." A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. "Ah, yes that's what I'll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes." Unbelievable, the owner says to himself as he walks towards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife and he tells her what had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves. Several days later the blind man returns and the owner mistakingly brings him a menu again. "Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man." "I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork." The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man. After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great, I'll take the Macarroni and chesse with broccoli. Once again walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in he's going to test him. The blind man eats and leaves. He returns the following week, but this time the owner see's him coming and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, "Mary rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man." Mary complies and hands her husband the fork back. As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting. "Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you." The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and says, "Hey I didn't know that Mary worked here?" :-D:laugh::laugh: -- modified at 4:42 Monday 2nd April, 2007
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sk8er_boy287 wrote:
How did you know?
"sk8er_boy287" already gave it away. (Or, as someone else said, like shooting fish. In a barrel. With a shotgun) -- modified at 5:04 Monday 2nd April, 2007: I don#t think it's a joking matter, you need to work on it, ok? :)
We are a big screwed up dysfunctional psychotic happy family - some more screwed up, others more happy, but everybody's psychotic joint venture definition of CP
My first real C# project | Linkify!|FoldWithUs! | sighist -
benjymous wrote:
I guess anything longer than the 160 character txt limit isn't worth reading
Accidentally voted you a 1 :-( I was going for a 5. I am sorry.
Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
C++/CLI in Action (*E-Book is out, Print version April 6th*) -
Do I smell an Attention Deficiency Disorder, young man?
We are a big screwed up dysfunctional psychotic happy family - some more screwed up, others more happy, but everybody's psychotic joint venture definition of CP
My first real C# project | Linkify!|FoldWithUs! | sighist -
sk8er_boy287 wrote:
If I read this I'll fall asleep!
I totally agree, I'm not interested in reading such long posts just to have some laugh!! jokes must be short and funny, like this one.. Q: Why does the giraffe have a long nick?? A: So she can reach her far head. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?? A: To get to the other side of the road. Q: Why did the duck cross the road?? A: Because she was bound to the chicken!! But watch out, I got 1s until that post almost disappeared:laugh: I guess that was my joke after all, to piss everyone off:laugh:
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight! (\ /) (O.o) (><)
Q: Why did the man cross the road? A: He had his dick stuck in a chicken.
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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"...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001 -
sk8er_boy287 wrote:
If I read this I'll fall asleep!
I totally agree, I'm not interested in reading such long posts just to have some laugh!! jokes must be short and funny, like this one.. Q: Why does the giraffe have a long nick?? A: So she can reach her far head. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?? A: To get to the other side of the road. Q: Why did the duck cross the road?? A: Because she was bound to the chicken!! But watch out, I got 1s until that post almost disappeared:laugh: I guess that was my joke after all, to piss everyone off:laugh:
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight! (\ /) (O.o) (><)
Q: What's the most popular pick-up line in a gay bar? A: Pardon me, can I push in your stool?
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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"...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001 -
sk8er_boy287 wrote:
If I read this I'll fall asleep!
I totally agree, I'm not interested in reading such long posts just to have some laugh!! jokes must be short and funny, like this one.. Q: Why does the giraffe have a long nick?? A: So she can reach her far head. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?? A: To get to the other side of the road. Q: Why did the duck cross the road?? A: Because she was bound to the chicken!! But watch out, I got 1s until that post almost disappeared:laugh: I guess that was my joke after all, to piss everyone off:laugh:
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight! (\ /) (O.o) (><)
Q: What do you get when you cross a hooker with a university professor? A: A fucking know-it-all.
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
-----
"...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001 -
sk8er_boy287 wrote:
If I read this I'll fall asleep!
I totally agree, I'm not interested in reading such long posts just to have some laugh!! jokes must be short and funny, like this one.. Q: Why does the giraffe have a long nick?? A: So she can reach her far head. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?? A: To get to the other side of the road. Q: Why did the duck cross the road?? A: Because she was bound to the chicken!! But watch out, I got 1s until that post almost disappeared:laugh: I guess that was my joke after all, to piss everyone off:laugh:
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight! (\ /) (O.o) (><)
A cowboy was standing outside talking to a bunch of friends. He pointed to a horse and said, "{I bet you $50 I can make that horse laugh." Everyone took him up on the bet, and he walked over and whispered in the horse's ear. The horse immediately started laughing. He walked back over to his friends, and claimed, now I bet you double-or nothing that I can make that horse cry. Again, everyone took him up on his bet. He walked over to the horse, and with is back to his friends, he fumbled around a bit, and the horse immediately started crying. When the cowboy came back, everyone wanted to know how he did it. "Well, to make him laugh I went and told him my dick was bigger than his. To make him cry, I showed him."
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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"...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001 -
sk8er_boy287 wrote:
If I read this I'll fall asleep!
I totally agree, I'm not interested in reading such long posts just to have some laugh!! jokes must be short and funny, like this one.. Q: Why does the giraffe have a long nick?? A: So she can reach her far head. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?? A: To get to the other side of the road. Q: Why did the duck cross the road?? A: Because she was bound to the chicken!! But watch out, I got 1s until that post almost disappeared:laugh: I guess that was my joke after all, to piss everyone off:laugh:
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight! (\ /) (O.o) (><)
Q: What's the difference between an orange? A: Elephants, because bananas don't have bones.
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
-----
"...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001 -
sk8er_boy287 wrote:
If I read this I'll fall asleep!
I totally agree, I'm not interested in reading such long posts just to have some laugh!! jokes must be short and funny, like this one.. Q: Why does the giraffe have a long nick?? A: So she can reach her far head. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?? A: To get to the other side of the road. Q: Why did the duck cross the road?? A: Because she was bound to the chicken!! But watch out, I got 1s until that post almost disappeared:laugh: I guess that was my joke after all, to piss everyone off:laugh:
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight! (\ /) (O.o) (><)
A guy walked into a bar and sat down, and noticed an ape sitting at the far end of the bar. When he ordered his first drink, he asked the bartender why the ape was in the bar. "Watch this", he said, and he pulled a baseball bat from behind the bar, walked over, and smacked the ape in the head with the bat. Without a moments hesitation, the ape jumped behind the bar, fell to its knees, and started giving the bartender a blowjob. "Wow that's great!", yelled the customer. The bartender looked over and said, "You wanna try it?" The customer said "Yeah! Just don't hit me so hard."
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
-----
"...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001 -
sk8er_boy287 wrote:
If I read this I'll fall asleep!
I totally agree, I'm not interested in reading such long posts just to have some laugh!! jokes must be short and funny, like this one.. Q: Why does the giraffe have a long nick?? A: So she can reach her far head. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?? A: To get to the other side of the road. Q: Why did the duck cross the road?? A: Because she was bound to the chicken!! But watch out, I got 1s until that post almost disappeared:laugh: I guess that was my joke after all, to piss everyone off:laugh:
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight! (\ /) (O.o) (><)
Two cousins (Al and Fred) decided to go into the retail business, and each opened up a store on the same corner of a busy street. After a few months, Al's store was doing so well he had begun construction to dramatically expand it's size. Fred was still just barely scraping buy, so he went across the street to see if his cousin could help him expand as well. After a few minutes of discussion, Al suggested that it might be Fred's sales technique, and allowed Fred to watch him work through a couple of customers. While they were standing there talking, a woman came up to the counter. Al: How may I help you ma'am? Woman: I'd like a bag of grass seed. Al: Well how big is your yard? Woman: About half an acre. Al retrieved the grass seed from the back of the store. Al: Will that be about it? Woman: I think so. Al: Well, if you want that grass to grow thick and green, you're gonna need fertilizer. Woman: That sounds reasonable. Wow many bags do you think I need? Al: Three should do it I think. Let me go into the back and get you some. She approved the decision, so Al went into the back and hauled three bags of fertilizer to the counter. Al: Is that about it? Woman: I think so. Al: Well how are you going to water that new grass? Woman: I was thinking I would just stand there with a hose. Al: That will never do. Your time is valuable, so you should consider an automated sprinkler system. I'll tell you what - if you order a sprinkler system and let us install it, I'll give you 25% off everything you buy today. Woman: Oh that's wonderful. Let's do that. Al adds the sprinkler system and installation to her bill. Al: Is that about it? Woman: I hope so. Al: Well, how are you going to mow that new grass? Woman: Well I have a push mower... Al: Thta will never do. You're a delicate flower of a woman, and you should be able to mow in comfort. How about a nice riding lawnmower? Woman: I always wanted one of those. Sure let's get one. Al: I'll tell you what, if you get the matching utility trailer, I'll throw in some free garden gloves and garden tools. Woman: Why, you're so kind. Al: Customer first I always say as he rung up her multi-thousand-dollar purchase. Fred: I think I see what I'm doing wrong. I'm going to go back to my store and give this a try. Of he goes back to his store, and eagerly awaits his next customer. Sure enough, a woman walks up to the counter: Woman: Hell, I'd like a box of Kotex please. Fred: Sure thing! Let me r
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A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm sorry sir, but I am blind, and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I'll smell it and order from there." A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. "Ah, yes that's what I'll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes." Unbelievable, the owner says to himself as he walks towards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife and he tells her what had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves. Several days later the blind man returns and the owner mistakingly brings him a menu again. "Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man." "I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork." The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man. After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great, I'll take the Macarroni and chesse with broccoli. Once again walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in he's going to test him. The blind man eats and leaves. He returns the following week, but this time the owner see's him coming and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, "Mary rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man." Mary complies and hands her husband the fork back. As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting. "Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you." The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and says, "Hey I didn't know that Mary worked here?" :-D:laugh::laugh: -- modified at 4:42 Monday 2nd April, 2007
:laugh:
Vasudevan Deepak Kumar Personal Homepage Tech Gossips
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A guy walked into a bar and sat down, and noticed an ape sitting at the far end of the bar. When he ordered his first drink, he asked the bartender why the ape was in the bar. "Watch this", he said, and he pulled a baseball bat from behind the bar, walked over, and smacked the ape in the head with the bat. Without a moments hesitation, the ape jumped behind the bar, fell to its knees, and started giving the bartender a blowjob. "Wow that's great!", yelled the customer. The bartender looked over and said, "You wanna try it?" The customer said "Yeah! Just don't hit me so hard."
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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"...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001
