French jokes
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Mark Brock "We're definitely not going to make a G or a PG version of this. It's not PillowfightCraft." -- Chris Metzen Click here to view my blog
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Mark Brock "We're definitely not going to make a G or a PG version of this. It's not PillowfightCraft." -- Chris Metzen Click here to view my blog
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Mark Brock "We're definitely not going to make a G or a PG version of this. It's not PillowfightCraft." -- Chris Metzen Click here to view my blog
Dude have you been reading the news recently? It seems you didn't notice we're not in 2003 anymore: 1) Chirac is not the president of France, anymore. They elected a U.S.-friendly new president. And Germany also has a new chancellor. 2) "Freedom fries" are called "French Fries" again. Even the US congress can catch the ridiculous, sometimes. 3) An investigation by the Bush administration itself concluded that Saddam didn't have WMD, like the UN and the French always said. Saddam also didn't have terrorist ties. All the reasons for the war were fake. 4) The Americans (which created most of those jokes) are actually loosing 2 wars. A 5 year old Roquefort cheese wouldn't be as stale as your jokes. :|
Of all forms of sexual aberration, the most unnatural is abstinence.
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Dude have you been reading the news recently? It seems you didn't notice we're not in 2003 anymore: 1) Chirac is not the president of France, anymore. They elected a U.S.-friendly new president. And Germany also has a new chancellor. 2) "Freedom fries" are called "French Fries" again. Even the US congress can catch the ridiculous, sometimes. 3) An investigation by the Bush administration itself concluded that Saddam didn't have WMD, like the UN and the French always said. Saddam also didn't have terrorist ties. All the reasons for the war were fake. 4) The Americans (which created most of those jokes) are actually loosing 2 wars. A 5 year old Roquefort cheese wouldn't be as stale as your jokes. :|
Of all forms of sexual aberration, the most unnatural is abstinence.
My favourite was... "How many gears does a French tank have? Five, four in reverse and one forward (in case of attack from behind)." Merci ;)
Mark Brock "We're definitely not going to make a G or a PG version of this. It's not PillowfightCraft." -- Chris Metzen Click here to view my blog
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My favourite was... "How many gears does a French tank have? Five, four in reverse and one forward (in case of attack from behind)." Merci ;)
Mark Brock "We're definitely not going to make a G or a PG version of this. It's not PillowfightCraft." -- Chris Metzen Click here to view my blog
Hmm, I see... New Zeland is very far away from the whole planet, isn't it?
Of all forms of sexual aberration, the most unnatural is abstinence.
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Hmm, I see... New Zeland is very far away from the whole planet, isn't it?
Of all forms of sexual aberration, the most unnatural is abstinence.
Diego Moita wrote:
Hmm, I see... New Zeland is very far away from the whole planet, isn't it?
Apparently, NZ isn't nearly as off-planet as Brazil is:
... 3) An investigation by the Bush administration itself concluded that Saddam didn't have WMD, like the UN and the French always said. Saddam also didn't have terrorist ties. All the reasons for the war were fake. ...
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Mark Brock "We're definitely not going to make a G or a PG version of this. It's not PillowfightCraft." -- Chris Metzen Click here to view my blog
Gallic Wars Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.] Hundred Years War Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted. Italian Wars Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. Wars of Religion France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots Thirty Years War France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. War of Revolution Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. The Dutch War Tied War of the Augsburg League/King Williams War/French and Indian War Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. War of the Spanish Succession Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. American Revolution In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." French Revolution Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. The Napoleonic Wars Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. The Franco-Prussian War Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. World War I Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline. World War II Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. War in Indochina Lost. French forces plead sic
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Dude have you been reading the news recently? It seems you didn't notice we're not in 2003 anymore: 1) Chirac is not the president of France, anymore. They elected a U.S.-friendly new president. And Germany also has a new chancellor. 2) "Freedom fries" are called "French Fries" again. Even the US congress can catch the ridiculous, sometimes. 3) An investigation by the Bush administration itself concluded that Saddam didn't have WMD, like the UN and the French always said. Saddam also didn't have terrorist ties. All the reasons for the war were fake. 4) The Americans (which created most of those jokes) are actually loosing 2 wars. A 5 year old Roquefort cheese wouldn't be as stale as your jokes. :|
Of all forms of sexual aberration, the most unnatural is abstinence.
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Gallic Wars Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.] Hundred Years War Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted. Italian Wars Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. Wars of Religion France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots Thirty Years War France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. War of Revolution Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. The Dutch War Tied War of the Augsburg League/King Williams War/French and Indian War Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. War of the Spanish Succession Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. American Revolution In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." French Revolution Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. The Napoleonic Wars Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. The Franco-Prussian War Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. World War I Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline. World War II Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. War in Indochina Lost. French forces plead sic
John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:
"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage."
:laugh::laugh::laugh:
"The clue train passed his station without stopping." - John Simmons / outlaw programmer "Real programmers just throw a bunch of 1s and 0s at the computer to see what sticks" - Pete O'Hanlon "Not only do you continue to babble nonsense, you can't even correctly remember the nonsense you babbled just minutes ago." - Rob Graham
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Gallic Wars Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.] Hundred Years War Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted. Italian Wars Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. Wars of Religion France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots Thirty Years War France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. War of Revolution Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. The Dutch War Tied War of the Augsburg League/King Williams War/French and Indian War Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. War of the Spanish Succession Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. American Revolution In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." French Revolution Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. The Napoleonic Wars Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. The Franco-Prussian War Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. World War I Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline. World War II Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. War in Indochina Lost. French forces plead sic
Well... You have missed the most important one. When Louis XVI, spent a lot of money building fake trading companies in order to smuggle weapons to groups of people in american colonies, who were struggling with a far away British king... For a long time the French kingdom has secretly helped the insurgents, because it was not sound to wage an open warfare. One of the first act of Louis XVI when he became king was to renew the French naval fleet. And when, eventually, the French kingdom openly helped the new world's colonies, they could send a mighty naval fleet, which by the way has helped quite a bit. Not to say, it has had a dire cost for the French people. By the way, Bill Clinton has been impeached because he lied about his relationship with a consenting adult woman. How about a president who lied about the reasons for a trillion dollars war?