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  4. Man points - how to get 'em or lose'em

Man points - how to get 'em or lose'em

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  • realJSOPR realJSOP

    blackjack2150 wrote:

    + Stoking a fire with a stick and causing bigger flames

    It depends on what you mean by a "stick". If it was a mere misspelling, and you intended to type "dick", it once more depends. Are you stoking the fire with your dick or someone else's? If it's yours, you get man points for a) sticking it in a fire, and b) having one long enough to do so without burning the rest of your body. On the other hand, you lose man points for damaging an otherwise useful tool. If you're using someone else's dick, again it depends. If it's still attached to the owner and he's smiling, you lose man points. If you kill him in an honorable duel to the death, and then cut it off his body, and then poked it in the fire as you laughed heartily at his valiant but pointless attempt at triumph through battle, you gain man points. There is still much debate over whether or not the severed dick is a viable food item, even after being thoroughly cooked. My advice for now is to not partake until it has been determined what kind of affect it will have on your man points total.

    blackjack2150 wrote:

    + chopping down a tree with an axe

    That earns you man points, but only if you're using the tree to kill an enemy, or using it for firewood for the topic discussed above.

    blackjack2150 wrote:

    + sharpening a pencil with a knife

    Anyone can do that. No man points.

    blackjack2150 wrote:

    + digging a big hole manually(without mechanical assistance)

    You're stuck on this manual labor thing. No man points for digging it yourself, but if you capture slave girls and force them to do it for you, all the while promising them the greatest sexual pleasures they've ever known, then you get man points.

    blackjack2150 wrote:

    + Catching a drink that has fallen off the table.

    Real men don't stop drinking long enough to put their drink down. However, if you get into a fight in a bar, and the drink is knocked off of a table due to the intrusion of your latest victim onto the table, and THEN you catch it, you have to drink it to get man points.

    blackjack2150 wrote:

    + Using the phrase, “I think I know what I’m doing.”

    Loss of man points. Feeling the need to

    Single Step DebuggerS Offline
    Single Step DebuggerS Offline
    Single Step Debugger
    wrote on last edited by
    #15

    Finally some post which makes sense and have entertainment value.

    The narrow specialist in the broad sense of the word is a complete idiot in the narrow sense of the word. Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • O Oakman

      human points +changing a diaper +planning an invasion +butchering a hog +conning a ship +designing a building +writing a sonnet +balancing accounts +building a wall +setting a bone +comforting the dying +taking orders +giving orders +cooperating +acting alone +solving equations +analyzing a new problem +pitching manure +programming a computer +cooking a tasty meal +fighting efficiently +dying gallantly ________________________ -Ripping off Robert Heinlein without giving credit.

      Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface

      L Offline
      L Offline
      Lost User
      wrote on last edited by
      #16

      +living gallantly

      Visit http://www.notreadytogiveup.com/[^] and do something special today.

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • L Lost User

        You waiting on Elaine to sharpen her claws ;P

        L Offline
        L Offline
        Lost User
        wrote on last edited by
        #17

        I'm leaving him in suspense.

        Visit http://www.notreadytogiveup.com/[^] and do something special today.

        realJSOPR 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • realJSOPR realJSOP

          blackjack2150 wrote:

          + Stoking a fire with a stick and causing bigger flames

          It depends on what you mean by a "stick". If it was a mere misspelling, and you intended to type "dick", it once more depends. Are you stoking the fire with your dick or someone else's? If it's yours, you get man points for a) sticking it in a fire, and b) having one long enough to do so without burning the rest of your body. On the other hand, you lose man points for damaging an otherwise useful tool. If you're using someone else's dick, again it depends. If it's still attached to the owner and he's smiling, you lose man points. If you kill him in an honorable duel to the death, and then cut it off his body, and then poked it in the fire as you laughed heartily at his valiant but pointless attempt at triumph through battle, you gain man points. There is still much debate over whether or not the severed dick is a viable food item, even after being thoroughly cooked. My advice for now is to not partake until it has been determined what kind of affect it will have on your man points total.

          blackjack2150 wrote:

          + chopping down a tree with an axe

          That earns you man points, but only if you're using the tree to kill an enemy, or using it for firewood for the topic discussed above.

          blackjack2150 wrote:

          + sharpening a pencil with a knife

          Anyone can do that. No man points.

          blackjack2150 wrote:

          + digging a big hole manually(without mechanical assistance)

          You're stuck on this manual labor thing. No man points for digging it yourself, but if you capture slave girls and force them to do it for you, all the while promising them the greatest sexual pleasures they've ever known, then you get man points.

          blackjack2150 wrote:

          + Catching a drink that has fallen off the table.

          Real men don't stop drinking long enough to put their drink down. However, if you get into a fight in a bar, and the drink is knocked off of a table due to the intrusion of your latest victim onto the table, and THEN you catch it, you have to drink it to get man points.

          blackjack2150 wrote:

          + Using the phrase, “I think I know what I’m doing.”

          Loss of man points. Feeling the need to

          L Offline
          L Offline
          Lost User
          wrote on last edited by
          #18

          Very Chuck!

          Visit http://www.notreadytogiveup.com/[^] and do something special today.

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • L Lost User

            Fixing your broken down car at 9 at night with the wife in the pasanger seat? Oh, and taking out spiders. That always impresses the girls. For some god knows strange reason.

            Morality is indistinguishable from social proscription

            L Offline
            L Offline
            Lost User
            wrote on last edited by
            #19

            I'm fine with spiders so I take them outside for the men :rolleyes:

            Visit http://www.notreadytogiveup.com/[^] and do something special today.

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • H hairy_hats

              I'm interested in hearing from the women on CP how men gain points. :)

              H Offline
              H Offline
              Henry Minute
              wrote on last edited by
              #20

              Steve_Harris wrote:

              I'm interested in hearing from the women on CP how men gain points

              You lose em for that.

              Henry Minute If you open a can of worms, any viable solution *MUST* involve a larger can.

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • L Lost User

                I'm leaving him in suspense.

                Visit http://www.notreadytogiveup.com/[^] and do something special today.

                realJSOPR Offline
                realJSOPR Offline
                realJSOP
                wrote on last edited by
                #21

                Real men just act like men, without regard for who's watching or what they think. Women are attracted to that. It's simple, really. End of discussion.

                "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
                -----
                "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • B blackjack2150

                  This topic has always amused me and right now I could use some laughs. Please imagine and post any deeds that award or take away man points. I'll start with some picked from the web, but I encourage you to be inventive: + Stoking a fire with a stick and causing bigger flames + chopping down a tree with an axe + sharpening a pencil with a knife + digging a big hole manually(without mechanical assistance) + Catching a drink that has fallen off the table. + Using the phrase, “I think I know what I’m doing.” ____________________________________________________ - Lighting a cigarette on the wrong end. - locking someone else's keys in their car. - Keeping track of Man Points. - Using the phrase, “I wasn’t crying.” - Calling your girlfriend/wife.

                  C Offline
                  C Offline
                  Chris Maunder
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #22

                  + burning the daylights out of any large chunks of meat that happen to find their way on to your BBQ while holding, firmly, an ice cold beer in hand. + Fixing your own car. Bonus points for inventive phrasing about mechanics and highway robbers, and the similarities therein. + being able to walk into a room that has a game on the TV and being able to name correctly all players currently on the screen with no previous knowledge of who was playing or what was being played. Bonus points for amusing and arcane anecdotes about said players that are over 5 years old.

                  cheers, Chris Maunder

                  CodeProject.com : C++ MVP

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • B blackjack2150

                    This topic has always amused me and right now I could use some laughs. Please imagine and post any deeds that award or take away man points. I'll start with some picked from the web, but I encourage you to be inventive: + Stoking a fire with a stick and causing bigger flames + chopping down a tree with an axe + sharpening a pencil with a knife + digging a big hole manually(without mechanical assistance) + Catching a drink that has fallen off the table. + Using the phrase, “I think I know what I’m doing.” ____________________________________________________ - Lighting a cigarette on the wrong end. - locking someone else's keys in their car. - Keeping track of Man Points. - Using the phrase, “I wasn’t crying.” - Calling your girlfriend/wife.

                    S Offline
                    S Offline
                    Sahir Shah
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #23

                    blackjack2150 wrote:

                    - Lighting a cigarette on the wrong end.

                    ++ Lighting a cigarette on the wrong end and continuing to smoke it with nonchalance

                    realJSOPR 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • D Dalek Dave

                      Oakman wrote:

                      dying gallantly

                      Reminds me of something I read some time ago. Good and Bad ways of Dying. Good Ways... Leading a Heroic, yet suicidal charge into the enemies lines to save the day. Getting hit by Car whilst saving a childs life. Heart attack whilst making love. Shark Attack. Sky Diving. Bad Ways... Anneurism whilst taking a dump. Choking to death whilst engaging in 'experimental' sex. Burning to death after cooking when drunk. Anything involving sheep. Drowning whilst saving dog.

                      ------------------------------------ "The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking of morality by religion" Arthur C Clarke

                      S Offline
                      S Offline
                      Stan Shannon
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #24

                      Dalek Dave wrote:

                      Leading a Heroic, yet suicidal charge into the enemies lines to save the day.

                      "Well, if we are to die, Govan, let us go die like men."

                      Chaining ourselves to the moral high ground does not make us good guys. Aside from making us easy targets, it merely makes us idiotic prisoners of our own self loathing.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • O Oakman

                        human points +changing a diaper +planning an invasion +butchering a hog +conning a ship +designing a building +writing a sonnet +balancing accounts +building a wall +setting a bone +comforting the dying +taking orders +giving orders +cooperating +acting alone +solving equations +analyzing a new problem +pitching manure +programming a computer +cooking a tasty meal +fighting efficiently +dying gallantly ________________________ -Ripping off Robert Heinlein without giving credit.

                        Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface

                        M Offline
                        M Offline
                        Mycroft Holmes
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #25

                        Astonishing that you attracted the low votes for that. Dora would have been proud to see the negative. Have another 5

                        Never underestimate the power of human stupidity RAH

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • S Sahir Shah

                          blackjack2150 wrote:

                          - Lighting a cigarette on the wrong end.

                          ++ Lighting a cigarette on the wrong end and continuing to smoke it with nonchalance

                          realJSOPR Offline
                          realJSOPR Offline
                          realJSOP
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #26

                          I can see that you have no earthly clue about what man points are. You get man points for doing manly things, and they get taken away for doing un-manly things. There are no man point awards for being a dork.

                          "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
                          -----
                          "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001

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