Travel
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So, I go to the US four times a year, give or take. Usually 4 or more tho. I've been told I'm going in March. Donna has child care lined up, I have bought tickets to some concerts in April, etc. I've been told my trip might move to April. I'm pretty frustrated about the whole thing, Donna's parents are in the UK in April, so she will have to not work and mind the kids while I am away, I've spent $500 on tickets and flights to a show I'd love to see, and the dates just appear to be elastic. I suspect the issue is that my boss has no interests apart from work, it doesn't occur to him that I have concert plans, I am on the roster to preach in church, I have stuff planned with my band, etc, and I try to work around what my supposed dates are, but when they change, everything goes in to disarray.... I love my job, and I do love visiting the US, but the US travel has become a real chore. It affects my kids, it affects my wife, and it disrupts my life.
Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista. Read my blog to find out how I've worked around bugs in Microsoft tools and frameworks.
Christian Graus wrote:
I love my job, and I do love visiting the US, but the US travel has become a real chore. It affects my kids, it affects my wife, and it disrupts my life.
So? Going to work every day affects my child and my partner. You got the house paid off, you have every toy you could want, you're quite well off by all accounts, you get to work from home, you get to follow your hobby of metal around the world. No offense buy cry me a bloody river. I've been to Amsterdam for work every six months for more than two years. It's 24+ hours flying each way, I spend weeks at a time in a hotel on my own, its cold, I cant do my own washing or cooking, my partner is left at home with a small baby to look after, some of the Dutch programmers I get to work with hate my guts (if they were less fucking Dutch I wouldnt need to go over there to show them I 'care'). The only solace I get is the following quote from Austin Powers... "All right Goldmember. Don't play the laughing boy. There's only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch." ...and the odd joint
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Christian Graus wrote:
I love my job, and I do love visiting the US, but the US travel has become a real chore. It affects my kids, it affects my wife, and it disrupts my life.
So? Going to work every day affects my child and my partner. You got the house paid off, you have every toy you could want, you're quite well off by all accounts, you get to work from home, you get to follow your hobby of metal around the world. No offense buy cry me a bloody river. I've been to Amsterdam for work every six months for more than two years. It's 24+ hours flying each way, I spend weeks at a time in a hotel on my own, its cold, I cant do my own washing or cooking, my partner is left at home with a small baby to look after, some of the Dutch programmers I get to work with hate my guts (if they were less fucking Dutch I wouldnt need to go over there to show them I 'care'). The only solace I get is the following quote from Austin Powers... "All right Goldmember. Don't play the laughing boy. There's only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch." ...and the odd joint
Josh Gray wrote:
So? Going to work every day affects my child and my partner.
You're not really right. When I worked in town, our day to day life was structured around our going to work, so we found the support mechanisms we needed for the kids to get after school care, etc. It's true that having it so easy most of the time ( I just get the kids when they need me, come home and work ), is why it's so tough on her when I am away, but still, it doesn't change the fact that for my wife, for me to tell her one set of dates, then have them changed like this, is tough.
Josh Gray wrote:
You got the house paid off, you have every toy you could want, you're quite well off by all accounts, you get to work from home
This much is true
Josh Gray wrote:
, you get to follow your hobby of metal around the world.
Not so. I've pursued it all over the US, when I can. My dream is to go to Sweden Rock or Wacken. But, in this instance, I've spent $500 on tickets and flights to a show in Adelaide which I expected I could go to, and I'll just lose that money, as well as the opportunity, if my travel plans get moved. Plus the money we lose from Donna not working, as she has no child care options. Well off or not, that's still a PITA.
Josh Gray wrote:
I've been to Amsterdam for work every six months for more than two years
How long do you go at a time ? I mean, if we want to cry to each other, I've spent weeks at a time in a hotel room by myself, in Portland. But, really what you seem to be saying to me is that you presumably work from home, if your employer is in holland, except for when you go away. So, I'd think you understand what I'm saying, or at least, you will if you ever have your kids in school and your wife in a job, then find that she has no options to deal with that when you're away. Leaving your partner at home with a baby may be work for her, but it's not impossible. Having my son at one school at 8:00, my daughter 40 minutes away at another at the same moment, going to work, getting him from school at 3:00, etc, is actually not possible, without just telling her boss she has to show up late and leave early.
Josh Gray wrote:
"All right Goldmember. Don't play the laughing boy. There's only two things I hate in this worl
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Josh Gray wrote:
So? Going to work every day affects my child and my partner.
You're not really right. When I worked in town, our day to day life was structured around our going to work, so we found the support mechanisms we needed for the kids to get after school care, etc. It's true that having it so easy most of the time ( I just get the kids when they need me, come home and work ), is why it's so tough on her when I am away, but still, it doesn't change the fact that for my wife, for me to tell her one set of dates, then have them changed like this, is tough.
Josh Gray wrote:
You got the house paid off, you have every toy you could want, you're quite well off by all accounts, you get to work from home
This much is true
Josh Gray wrote:
, you get to follow your hobby of metal around the world.
Not so. I've pursued it all over the US, when I can. My dream is to go to Sweden Rock or Wacken. But, in this instance, I've spent $500 on tickets and flights to a show in Adelaide which I expected I could go to, and I'll just lose that money, as well as the opportunity, if my travel plans get moved. Plus the money we lose from Donna not working, as she has no child care options. Well off or not, that's still a PITA.
Josh Gray wrote:
I've been to Amsterdam for work every six months for more than two years
How long do you go at a time ? I mean, if we want to cry to each other, I've spent weeks at a time in a hotel room by myself, in Portland. But, really what you seem to be saying to me is that you presumably work from home, if your employer is in holland, except for when you go away. So, I'd think you understand what I'm saying, or at least, you will if you ever have your kids in school and your wife in a job, then find that she has no options to deal with that when you're away. Leaving your partner at home with a baby may be work for her, but it's not impossible. Having my son at one school at 8:00, my daughter 40 minutes away at another at the same moment, going to work, getting him from school at 3:00, etc, is actually not possible, without just telling her boss she has to show up late and leave early.
Josh Gray wrote:
"All right Goldmember. Don't play the laughing boy. There's only two things I hate in this worl
Really my only point was that you've done pretty well out of your employer, better than most will, and perhaps a little bit of inconvenience is not that bad.
Christian Graus wrote:
You're not really right
We all have to do things we don't necessarily want to do to put food on the table etc, it's a question of scale perhaps but thats it. You could chose a nine to five job that pays less but requires no travel.
Christian Graus wrote:
around the world. Not so. I've pursued it all over the US
The US is not the world? :) You're splitting hairs
Christian Graus wrote:
But, really what you seem to be saying to me is that you presumably work from home, if your employer is in holland, except for when you go away.
I usually go for a couple of weeks. Spent two weeks of Jan there in the snow. We have offices here, Chicago and Amsterdam. Each have a largish development team but the architecture comes from here.
Christian Graus wrote:
Having my son at one school at 8:00, my daughter 40 minutes away at another at the same moment, going to work, getting him from school at 3:00, etc, is actually not possible, without just telling her boss she has to show up late and leave early.
But again that is a result of the schools you selected. What do you do when one of you is sick? or one car breaks down? You really have no back up plan at all?
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Really my only point was that you've done pretty well out of your employer, better than most will, and perhaps a little bit of inconvenience is not that bad.
Christian Graus wrote:
You're not really right
We all have to do things we don't necessarily want to do to put food on the table etc, it's a question of scale perhaps but thats it. You could chose a nine to five job that pays less but requires no travel.
Christian Graus wrote:
around the world. Not so. I've pursued it all over the US
The US is not the world? :) You're splitting hairs
Christian Graus wrote:
But, really what you seem to be saying to me is that you presumably work from home, if your employer is in holland, except for when you go away.
I usually go for a couple of weeks. Spent two weeks of Jan there in the snow. We have offices here, Chicago and Amsterdam. Each have a largish development team but the architecture comes from here.
Christian Graus wrote:
Having my son at one school at 8:00, my daughter 40 minutes away at another at the same moment, going to work, getting him from school at 3:00, etc, is actually not possible, without just telling her boss she has to show up late and leave early.
But again that is a result of the schools you selected. What do you do when one of you is sick? or one car breaks down? You really have no back up plan at all?
Josh Gray wrote:
and perhaps a little bit of inconvenience is not that bad.
It's not the worst thing in the world, but I do think it's a little unrealistic that I'm expected to drop everything for a constantly shifting request. I spent $500 on a concert I thought I could go to, that's more than a 'little inconvenience' in my mind. As it will be if my wife loses her job over her absences.
Josh Gray wrote:
You could chose a nine to five job that pays less but requires no travel.
Well, actually I can't. I'm both bound by a contract, and in a state where I've not seen programming work advertised for some time. I'm not saying that I feel trapped, helpless and miserable, I do like most of my job. But still, one issue I do face is a temporary contract, and no other work to go for.
Josh Gray wrote:
The US is not the world? You're splitting hairs
ROTFL !!!!
Josh Gray wrote:
I usually go for a couple of weeks.
OK - same as me except I go four times a year.
Josh Gray wrote:
But again that is a result of the schools you selected.
Well, yes. Where we live, there are no good secondary options, so my daughter goes into town, which works great because Donna works in town. Calvin moved schools because of learning problems, and now goes to a small school with no after school program. We didn't make cavalier choices, we really made the only realistic choices we had.
Josh Gray wrote:
What do you do when one of you is sick?
I work if I am sick, just at half speed. I'd still take Calvin down the road. If Donna was sick, I guess I'd have to take Hannah and she'd take Calvin.
Josh Gray wrote:
or one car breaks down?
Both our cars are regularly serviced and a year old, I can't see that as likely.
Josh Gray wrote:
You really have no back up plan at all?
Usually, the backup plan is my in laws. This whole trip was planned and my in laws are going away for all of April, that's why we have child care options in March and not April.
Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista. Read my
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Josh Gray wrote:
and perhaps a little bit of inconvenience is not that bad.
It's not the worst thing in the world, but I do think it's a little unrealistic that I'm expected to drop everything for a constantly shifting request. I spent $500 on a concert I thought I could go to, that's more than a 'little inconvenience' in my mind. As it will be if my wife loses her job over her absences.
Josh Gray wrote:
You could chose a nine to five job that pays less but requires no travel.
Well, actually I can't. I'm both bound by a contract, and in a state where I've not seen programming work advertised for some time. I'm not saying that I feel trapped, helpless and miserable, I do like most of my job. But still, one issue I do face is a temporary contract, and no other work to go for.
Josh Gray wrote:
The US is not the world? You're splitting hairs
ROTFL !!!!
Josh Gray wrote:
I usually go for a couple of weeks.
OK - same as me except I go four times a year.
Josh Gray wrote:
But again that is a result of the schools you selected.
Well, yes. Where we live, there are no good secondary options, so my daughter goes into town, which works great because Donna works in town. Calvin moved schools because of learning problems, and now goes to a small school with no after school program. We didn't make cavalier choices, we really made the only realistic choices we had.
Josh Gray wrote:
What do you do when one of you is sick?
I work if I am sick, just at half speed. I'd still take Calvin down the road. If Donna was sick, I guess I'd have to take Hannah and she'd take Calvin.
Josh Gray wrote:
or one car breaks down?
Both our cars are regularly serviced and a year old, I can't see that as likely.
Josh Gray wrote:
You really have no back up plan at all?
Usually, the backup plan is my in laws. This whole trip was planned and my in laws are going away for all of April, that's why we have child care options in March and not April.
Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista. Read my
Well you do live in the arse end of nowhere. You get cheap houses, you get space, you get country side but you dont get the convenience or choice you do in a big city. Again, it's your choice to live there. We have endless child care options within walking distance, every big (actually probably every) band that comes to Oz plays here. Want to swap mortgages? Want to sit in 5:30pm traffic this afternoon to get home?
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Well you do live in the arse end of nowhere. You get cheap houses, you get space, you get country side but you dont get the convenience or choice you do in a big city. Again, it's your choice to live there. We have endless child care options within walking distance, every big (actually probably every) band that comes to Oz plays here. Want to swap mortgages? Want to sit in 5:30pm traffic this afternoon to get home?
Josh Gray wrote:
. You get cheap houses
Used to, not so much anymore. But probaby still cheaper than Sydney, certainly for how close we are to the city, such as it is.
Josh Gray wrote:
We have endless child care options within walking distance, every big (actually probably every) band that comes to Oz plays here.
*grin* yes, I know.
Josh Gray wrote:
Want to swap mortgages?
LOL - like you said, I don't have one.
Josh Gray wrote:
Want to sit in 5:30pm traffic this afternoon to get home?
You know, my main point was that my day to day life is being disrupted by demands that keep moving and make it impossible for me to plan. There are times I would travel in traffic if it meant I could work with people instead of alone. Every setup has it's ups and downs.
Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista. Read my blog to find out how I've worked around bugs in Microsoft tools and frameworks.
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Is that a euphemism ?
Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista. Read my blog to find out how I've worked around bugs in Microsoft tools and frameworks.
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I thought you were an expert on Americana? :doh:
You measure democracy by the freedom it gives its dissidents, not the freedom it gives its assimilated conformists.
*grin* I knew what you meant, I figure if you gave me a hard time, I'd return the favour....
Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista. Read my blog to find out how I've worked around bugs in Microsoft tools and frameworks.
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*grin* I knew what you meant, I figure if you gave me a hard time, I'd return the favour....
Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista. Read my blog to find out how I've worked around bugs in Microsoft tools and frameworks.
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So, I go to the US four times a year, give or take. Usually 4 or more tho. I've been told I'm going in March. Donna has child care lined up, I have bought tickets to some concerts in April, etc. I've been told my trip might move to April. I'm pretty frustrated about the whole thing, Donna's parents are in the UK in April, so she will have to not work and mind the kids while I am away, I've spent $500 on tickets and flights to a show I'd love to see, and the dates just appear to be elastic. I suspect the issue is that my boss has no interests apart from work, it doesn't occur to him that I have concert plans, I am on the roster to preach in church, I have stuff planned with my band, etc, and I try to work around what my supposed dates are, but when they change, everything goes in to disarray.... I love my job, and I do love visiting the US, but the US travel has become a real chore. It affects my kids, it affects my wife, and it disrupts my life.
Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista. Read my blog to find out how I've worked around bugs in Microsoft tools and frameworks.
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He pays the bills so dance to his tune. If you dont like it get another job. Or stop paying the bills.
Morality is indistinguishable from social proscription
Yeah, obviously. I mean, I dislike the travel altogether, but, that's why it's a job and not my hobby, I don't like all of it. My point was really mostly that I dislike the assumption that I have no life outside of work, and can just drop everything, including my family and their plans, to head over at any time, a time that just changes even after we've discussed it and I've made plans accordingly.
Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista. Read my blog to find out how I've worked around bugs in Microsoft tools and frameworks.