You didn't know this (language/humor may be offensive)
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Found in my mailbox: If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!) The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!) A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.) A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.) Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Do not try this at home...... maybe at work.) The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. ("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!") The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes... lucky pig... can you imagine??) The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?) Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity) Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.) The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm........) Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?) Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (OK, so that would be a good thing....) A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?) An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.) Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that too.) Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.) Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig??) Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone. -- standing so tall, the ground behind no trespassers, on every floor a garden swing, and another door she makes it clear, that everything is hers A place of abode, not far from here, Ms. Van de Veer
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Found in my mailbox: If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!) The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!) A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.) A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.) Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Do not try this at home...... maybe at work.) The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. ("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!") The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes... lucky pig... can you imagine??) The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?) Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity) Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.) The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm........) Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?) Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (OK, so that would be a good thing....) A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?) An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.) Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that too.) Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.) Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig??) Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone. -- standing so tall, the ground behind no trespassers, on every floor a garden swing, and another door she makes it clear, that everything is hers A place of abode, not far from here, Ms. Van de Veer
ROTFLMAO!!! :laugh: Have you verified any of this? I don't mean by personal experiment (especially the pig), but by checking other sources. Jörgen Sigvardsson wrote: A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.) Keep in mind that, in the life immediately after, you get to be bacon! Jörgen Sigvardsson wrote: The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. My ex used to do that... verbally, though. "When in danger, fear, or doubt, run in circles, scream and shout!" - Lorelei and Lapis Lazuli Long
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Found in my mailbox: If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!) The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!) A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.) A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.) Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Do not try this at home...... maybe at work.) The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. ("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!") The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes... lucky pig... can you imagine??) The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?) Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity) Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.) The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm........) Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?) Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (OK, so that would be a good thing....) A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?) An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.) Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that too.) Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.) Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig??) Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone. -- standing so tall, the ground behind no trespassers, on every floor a garden swing, and another door she makes it clear, that everything is hers A place of abode, not far from here, Ms. Van de Veer
:-D:laugh: Always good to see the classics make there way around again. :-D BW "I'm coming with you! I got you fired, it's the least I can do. Well, the least I could do is absolutely nothing, but I'll go you one better and come along!" - Homer J. Simpson
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ROTFLMAO!!! :laugh: Have you verified any of this? I don't mean by personal experiment (especially the pig), but by checking other sources. Jörgen Sigvardsson wrote: A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.) Keep in mind that, in the life immediately after, you get to be bacon! Jörgen Sigvardsson wrote: The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. My ex used to do that... verbally, though. "When in danger, fear, or doubt, run in circles, scream and shout!" - Lorelei and Lapis Lazuli Long
Roger Wright wrote: Have you verified any of this? No I haven't. I'm just the messenger ;) Roger Wright wrote: I don't mean by personal experiment (especially the pig), but by checking other sources. Roger Wright wrote: My ex used to do that... verbally, though. That's about the only thing I can verify. I had all the sex first in the relationship, and *then* I got my head/heart ripped off/out. -- standing so tall, the ground behind no trespassers, on every floor a garden swing, and another door she makes it clear, that everything is hers A place of abode, not far from here, Ms. Van de Veer
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Found in my mailbox: If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!) The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!) A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.) A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.) Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Do not try this at home...... maybe at work.) The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. ("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!") The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes... lucky pig... can you imagine??) The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?) Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity) Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.) The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm........) Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?) Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (OK, so that would be a good thing....) A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?) An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.) Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that too.) Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.) Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig??) Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone. -- standing so tall, the ground behind no trespassers, on every floor a garden swing, and another door she makes it clear, that everything is hers A place of abode, not far from here, Ms. Van de Veer
Jörgen Sigvardsson wrote: A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. Is that a male pig? :confused: Jörgen Sigvardsson wrote: Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. White men also......i have heard. /Magnus
- I don't necessarily agree with everything I say
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Jörgen Sigvardsson wrote: A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. Is that a male pig? :confused: Jörgen Sigvardsson wrote: Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. White men also......i have heard. /Magnus
- I don't necessarily agree with everything I say
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Found in my mailbox: If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!) The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!) A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.) A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.) Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Do not try this at home...... maybe at work.) The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. ("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!") The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes... lucky pig... can you imagine??) The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?) Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity) Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.) The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm........) Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?) Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (OK, so that would be a good thing....) A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?) An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.) Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that too.) Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.) Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig??) Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone. -- standing so tall, the ground behind no trespassers, on every floor a garden swing, and another door she makes it clear, that everything is hers A place of abode, not far from here, Ms. Van de Veer
Jörgen Sigvardsson wrote: Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people Yep, it's harder to survive in a World made by and for right-handed people X| Do you know that left-handed people have on average 2 more points of IQ than right-handed people ?(probably because the survivors are more efficient)
Who gives a f*ck If my life sucks ? I just know one day I won't give up Beg For Me/KoЯn
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Found in my mailbox: If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!) The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!) A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.) A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.) Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Do not try this at home...... maybe at work.) The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. ("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!") The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes... lucky pig... can you imagine??) The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?) Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity) Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.) The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm........) Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?) Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (OK, so that would be a good thing....) A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?) An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.) Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that too.) Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.) Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig??) Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone. -- standing so tall, the ground behind no trespassers, on every floor a garden swing, and another door she makes it clear, that everything is hers A place of abode, not far from here, Ms. Van de Veer
Got this email a while back but I accidently deleted it before I got a chance to post it. Thanks for posting it. :-) Regards, Brian Dela :-)
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_Magnus_ wrote: Is that a male pig? There's one way to tell - can it do it again 15 minutes later? :laugh: Anna :rose: "Be yourself - not what others think you should be"
- Marcia GraeschYou can tell if the pig is actually acting like one or not.. ;) -- standing so tall, the ground behind no trespassers, on every floor a garden swing, and another door she makes it clear, that everything is hers A place of abode, not far from here, Ms. Van de Veer