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Government IT Hiring

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Weird and The Wonderful
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  • B Bsw79

    If you’ve ever applied for certain programming positions within the government, you may have had to complete an “Experience Record Questionnaire”. This questionnaire consists of a series of questions that require a paragraph or more to answer and is designed to show your technical knowledge, problem solving skills, etc. One of the questions/statements may be something like “Describe a challenging situation or work period when you have worked independently without supervision”. I recently completed one of these questionnaires (after they accepted my resume), and I’d like to include a few excerpts from my answers: “As such, I’ve taught developers to avoid this and the Hungarian variable naming convention. Instead, we’ve adopted the Mongolian notation system...” “However, simply using these elements for a structured business model involving UML markup diagrams contained within a FlashScript dynamic framework would not suffice.” “If I didn’t discover these development flaws, bad data types could have entered the underlying system tables and compromised the server’s SAN (Storage Area Network), which could have invalidated the database server’s Third Normal Form.” “…implement a Singleton Pattern, which is an object oriented design pattern used to ensure several million instances of a single class can be created” “…I taught them that if the query string had a proper name and indicated that it was a safe string, that you could reduce the computing needed to sanitize the string and accept it directly.” “…I’ve taught how developers should always code to an implementation (instead of to an interface), prefer inheritance over composition, how to tightly couple objects in your application so that they do not become too separated…” “…bad habit of mixing access modifiers within his classes. This resulted in classes that had public, private, as well as protected modifiers. Under my guidance, he successfully created classes with only private fields and methods. “ There's a lot more, but you get the idea. Apparently they thought I did a good job, because I got into a hirable position above many, many other people (no, I didn't take the job). Apparently for some government programming jobs it’s not what you write, but how much you write, how well you restate the question, and how well you confuse the people grading the questionnaire. :laugh:

    T Offline
    T Offline
    Tom Chantler
    wrote on last edited by
    #9

    Superb! Either the guys had a sense of humour, or they were hopelessly incompetent. If it was the former, then maybe you missed out on a cool gig; the latter and you had a lucky escape!

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    • B Bsw79

      If you’ve ever applied for certain programming positions within the government, you may have had to complete an “Experience Record Questionnaire”. This questionnaire consists of a series of questions that require a paragraph or more to answer and is designed to show your technical knowledge, problem solving skills, etc. One of the questions/statements may be something like “Describe a challenging situation or work period when you have worked independently without supervision”. I recently completed one of these questionnaires (after they accepted my resume), and I’d like to include a few excerpts from my answers: “As such, I’ve taught developers to avoid this and the Hungarian variable naming convention. Instead, we’ve adopted the Mongolian notation system...” “However, simply using these elements for a structured business model involving UML markup diagrams contained within a FlashScript dynamic framework would not suffice.” “If I didn’t discover these development flaws, bad data types could have entered the underlying system tables and compromised the server’s SAN (Storage Area Network), which could have invalidated the database server’s Third Normal Form.” “…implement a Singleton Pattern, which is an object oriented design pattern used to ensure several million instances of a single class can be created” “…I taught them that if the query string had a proper name and indicated that it was a safe string, that you could reduce the computing needed to sanitize the string and accept it directly.” “…I’ve taught how developers should always code to an implementation (instead of to an interface), prefer inheritance over composition, how to tightly couple objects in your application so that they do not become too separated…” “…bad habit of mixing access modifiers within his classes. This resulted in classes that had public, private, as well as protected modifiers. Under my guidance, he successfully created classes with only private fields and methods. “ There's a lot more, but you get the idea. Apparently they thought I did a good job, because I got into a hirable position above many, many other people (no, I didn't take the job). Apparently for some government programming jobs it’s not what you write, but how much you write, how well you restate the question, and how well you confuse the people grading the questionnaire. :laugh:

      J Offline
      J Offline
      Jordan Marr
      wrote on last edited by
      #10

      Programmer humor. I love it! My favorite is the singleton with millions of instances.

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      • P Paladin2000

        "Under my guidance, he successfully created classes with only private fields and methods." :thumbsup: Good one.

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        edmurphy99
        wrote on last edited by
        #11

        Is that like Write only memory?

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • T Tom Chantler

          Superb! Either the guys had a sense of humour, or they were hopelessly incompetent. If it was the former, then maybe you missed out on a cool gig; the latter and you had a lucky escape!

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          irflashrex
          wrote on last edited by
          #12

          It is government we are talking about.

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          • A AspDotNetDev

            Maybe they knew you were being sarcastic and assumed you meant the opposite of everything you wrote, which is why they found your answers acceptable. :)

            [WikiLeaks Cablegate Cables]

            B Offline
            B Offline
            BillW33
            wrote on last edited by
            #13

            I didn't know that they were big fans of sarcasm! ;) :laugh:

            Just because the code works, it doesn't mean that it is good code.

            1 Reply Last reply
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            • B Bsw79

              If you’ve ever applied for certain programming positions within the government, you may have had to complete an “Experience Record Questionnaire”. This questionnaire consists of a series of questions that require a paragraph or more to answer and is designed to show your technical knowledge, problem solving skills, etc. One of the questions/statements may be something like “Describe a challenging situation or work period when you have worked independently without supervision”. I recently completed one of these questionnaires (after they accepted my resume), and I’d like to include a few excerpts from my answers: “As such, I’ve taught developers to avoid this and the Hungarian variable naming convention. Instead, we’ve adopted the Mongolian notation system...” “However, simply using these elements for a structured business model involving UML markup diagrams contained within a FlashScript dynamic framework would not suffice.” “If I didn’t discover these development flaws, bad data types could have entered the underlying system tables and compromised the server’s SAN (Storage Area Network), which could have invalidated the database server’s Third Normal Form.” “…implement a Singleton Pattern, which is an object oriented design pattern used to ensure several million instances of a single class can be created” “…I taught them that if the query string had a proper name and indicated that it was a safe string, that you could reduce the computing needed to sanitize the string and accept it directly.” “…I’ve taught how developers should always code to an implementation (instead of to an interface), prefer inheritance over composition, how to tightly couple objects in your application so that they do not become too separated…” “…bad habit of mixing access modifiers within his classes. This resulted in classes that had public, private, as well as protected modifiers. Under my guidance, he successfully created classes with only private fields and methods. “ There's a lot more, but you get the idea. Apparently they thought I did a good job, because I got into a hirable position above many, many other people (no, I didn't take the job). Apparently for some government programming jobs it’s not what you write, but how much you write, how well you restate the question, and how well you confuse the people grading the questionnaire. :laugh:

              W Offline
              W Offline
              wizardzz
              wrote on last edited by
              #14

              Please tell me it was state or local government and not federal...

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              • W wizardzz

                Please tell me it was state or local government and not federal...

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                B Offline
                Bsw79
                wrote on last edited by
                #15

                Fortunately no, it’s not the federal government. It’s a state government. I’d honestly be too embarrassed to say which one, but let’s just say it wouldn’t be a big surprise. :)

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                • B Bsw79

                  Fortunately no, it’s not the federal government. It’s a state government. I’d honestly be too embarrassed to say which one, but let’s just say it wouldn’t be a big surprise. :)

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                  patbob
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #16

                  Darn. And here I was hoping it was somebody else's government :D

                  patbob

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                  • T Tom Chantler

                    Superb! Either the guys had a sense of humour, or they were hopelessly incompetent. If it was the former, then maybe you missed out on a cool gig; the latter and you had a lucky escape!

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                    L Offline
                    Logic Chip
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #17

                    Having had many government contract jobs both state and feral i can empathize with you. Its not what you do or how well you do it its how much politics you put into doing it.

                    Logic Chip

                    OriginalGriffO 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • L Logic Chip

                      Having had many government contract jobs both state and feral i can empathize with you. Its not what you do or how well you do it its how much politics you put into doing it.

                      Logic Chip

                      OriginalGriffO Offline
                      OriginalGriffO Offline
                      OriginalGriff
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #18

                      Logic Chip wrote:

                      contract jobs both state and feral i can empathize with you

                      Is a Feral job one you wish you hadn't taken? :laugh:

                      Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together.

                      "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
                      "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

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                      • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                        Logic Chip wrote:

                        contract jobs both state and feral i can empathize with you

                        Is a Feral job one you wish you hadn't taken? :laugh:

                        Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together.

                        L Offline
                        L Offline
                        Logic Chip
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #19

                        yes, every government job has been feral, those in Canberra especially.

                        Logic Chip

                        1 Reply Last reply
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                        • B Bsw79

                          If you’ve ever applied for certain programming positions within the government, you may have had to complete an “Experience Record Questionnaire”. This questionnaire consists of a series of questions that require a paragraph or more to answer and is designed to show your technical knowledge, problem solving skills, etc. One of the questions/statements may be something like “Describe a challenging situation or work period when you have worked independently without supervision”. I recently completed one of these questionnaires (after they accepted my resume), and I’d like to include a few excerpts from my answers: “As such, I’ve taught developers to avoid this and the Hungarian variable naming convention. Instead, we’ve adopted the Mongolian notation system...” “However, simply using these elements for a structured business model involving UML markup diagrams contained within a FlashScript dynamic framework would not suffice.” “If I didn’t discover these development flaws, bad data types could have entered the underlying system tables and compromised the server’s SAN (Storage Area Network), which could have invalidated the database server’s Third Normal Form.” “…implement a Singleton Pattern, which is an object oriented design pattern used to ensure several million instances of a single class can be created” “…I taught them that if the query string had a proper name and indicated that it was a safe string, that you could reduce the computing needed to sanitize the string and accept it directly.” “…I’ve taught how developers should always code to an implementation (instead of to an interface), prefer inheritance over composition, how to tightly couple objects in your application so that they do not become too separated…” “…bad habit of mixing access modifiers within his classes. This resulted in classes that had public, private, as well as protected modifiers. Under my guidance, he successfully created classes with only private fields and methods. “ There's a lot more, but you get the idea. Apparently they thought I did a good job, because I got into a hirable position above many, many other people (no, I didn't take the job). Apparently for some government programming jobs it’s not what you write, but how much you write, how well you restate the question, and how well you confuse the people grading the questionnaire. :laugh:

                          M Offline
                          M Offline
                          Michael Waters
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #20

                          This explains much. I've always suspected that the lunatics are running the asylum. Now I know where NMCI came from.

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