Just being fine
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If you don't want a What-Is-Up-Paul's-Bonnet-Today post then I recommend you stop reading... :~ Why do women have to have a reason when their man says "I am fine." Why can we simply not be content and just be. Fishing comes to mind. Not the hobby most women aspire to, but certainly something us men can absolutely just get into and be totally fine with. We are fine standing there for hours, just being. No rhyme, no reason. Yet come home time many of us need to find a suitable explanation, something to apease Her. If it is not a satisfactory explanation, then there is hell to pay and you can say goodbye to chilling out while watching the Sunday night movie. Jack Knife said something quite true: "As time went on, I finally understood that when she asked how my day went, she was really looking for an opportunity to find out how I was feeling and what my thoughts were. It seems that this is something that is very important for women to share with each other, while men just simply do not practice this ritual among themselves. Once I had grasped this realization, it became clear to me that the best way to approach the situation was to water the technical details down as much as possible so that I was able to simply give her an indication of what I had dealt with during the course of the day while also helping her to understand my thoughts and feelings (this is what she was really wanting to know to begin with)." So, Megan, Lauren, Trollslayer and friends; Why can you not simply realise that sometimes we, us men, are like a warm vacant parking lot... no rhyme, no reason. Just being, just content, just fishing.
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaColin Davies wrote: ...can you imagine a John Simmons stalker !
Paul Watson wrote: Why do women STOP! This sort of thing can lead to mind warps, and insanity! It's just not a good way to start a sentance... ;)
Dylan
"In meetings, the person who is least competent usually does the most talking. Talking is a direct substitute for competence, at least in the minds of other people. Five minutes after you leave a meeting, you won't remember what anyone said but you will remember who did most of the talking. Withing a day your mind will translate that into a notion that the talker was unusually knowledgeable" - Scott Adams, Dilbert and the way of the weasel
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Paul Watson wrote: Why do women STOP! This sort of thing can lead to mind warps, and insanity! It's just not a good way to start a sentance... ;)
Dylan
"In meetings, the person who is least competent usually does the most talking. Talking is a direct substitute for competence, at least in the minds of other people. Five minutes after you leave a meeting, you won't remember what anyone said but you will remember who did most of the talking. Withing a day your mind will translate that into a notion that the talker was unusually knowledgeable" - Scott Adams, Dilbert and the way of the weasel
Dylan Kenneally wrote: STOP! This sort of thing can lead to mind warps, and insanity! It's just not a good way to start a sentance... LOL, apologies, I forgot the cardinal rule of understanding women.
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaColin Davies wrote: ...can you imagine a John Simmons stalker !
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Paul Watson wrote: So, Megan, Lauren, Trollslayer and friends; Why can you not simply realise that sometimes we, us men, are like a warm vacant parking lot... no rhyme, no reason. Just being, just content, just fishing. Lol - what makes you think we aren't necessarily the same? You wouldn't be generalising would you Paul? :rolleyes: Seriously, maybe it comes from growing up in the bush, but I could never understand this trait in people either. If I want to sit fishing for 3 hours, with my dog, why should I have to explain the enjoyment to people afterwards. Just leave me alone with my own midnd. Perhaps I am just overly anti-social for a woman :~
I knew it would end badly when I first met Chris in a Canberra alleyway and he said 'try some - it won't hurt you'..... - Christian Graus on Code Project outages A moment of silence please. A programmer's best friend has passed beyond that great exception in the sky.... - Mark Conger on "The coffee machine has died"
Megan Forbes wrote: Perhaps I am just overly anti-social for a woman Sound perfect to me! :-D You like fishing, you get our geeky jokes, you like dogs, you are not afraid of the bush... and it goes on. Better watch out or CG will start accusing you of being a man. ;) Megan Forbes wrote: Just leave me alone with my own midnd. That is a mistake I made. In reply to "How can you just sit there and fish all day?" I foolishly replied "Gives me time to think." The next thing I know I am being asked "Think about what?" and there is no way "Not much, fishing I guess" is going to be a satisfactory answer :rolleyes:
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaColin Davies wrote: ...can you imagine a John Simmons stalker !
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Megan Forbes wrote: Perhaps I am just overly anti-social for a woman Sound perfect to me! :-D You like fishing, you get our geeky jokes, you like dogs, you are not afraid of the bush... and it goes on. Better watch out or CG will start accusing you of being a man. ;) Megan Forbes wrote: Just leave me alone with my own midnd. That is a mistake I made. In reply to "How can you just sit there and fish all day?" I foolishly replied "Gives me time to think." The next thing I know I am being asked "Think about what?" and there is no way "Not much, fishing I guess" is going to be a satisfactory answer :rolleyes:
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaColin Davies wrote: ...can you imagine a John Simmons stalker !
Paul Watson wrote: Sound perfect to me! You like fishing, you get our geeky jokes, you like dogs, you are not afraid of the bush... and it goes on. Better watch out or CG will start accusing you of being a man I must say, this is a somewhat perplexing subject. Why do I enjoy the company of male friends so much, why do I enjoy programming, why do I run away from gossipers in the bathroom... Perhaps it has something to do with the great relationship I shared with my Dad and brother as a kid. All I can say is I am definitely female - my (now)husband has turned me on since the day we met at high school, so that must count for something? :-D I guess no two human minds are the same, and not totally fitting into one generalisation perhaps just opens the way to understanding others better.
I knew it would end badly when I first met Chris in a Canberra alleyway and he said 'try some - it won't hurt you'..... - Christian Graus on Code Project outages A moment of silence please. A programmer's best friend has passed beyond that great exception in the sky.... - Mark Conger on "The coffee machine has died"
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Paul Watson wrote: Sound perfect to me! You like fishing, you get our geeky jokes, you like dogs, you are not afraid of the bush... and it goes on. Better watch out or CG will start accusing you of being a man I must say, this is a somewhat perplexing subject. Why do I enjoy the company of male friends so much, why do I enjoy programming, why do I run away from gossipers in the bathroom... Perhaps it has something to do with the great relationship I shared with my Dad and brother as a kid. All I can say is I am definitely female - my (now)husband has turned me on since the day we met at high school, so that must count for something? :-D I guess no two human minds are the same, and not totally fitting into one generalisation perhaps just opens the way to understanding others better.
I knew it would end badly when I first met Chris in a Canberra alleyway and he said 'try some - it won't hurt you'..... - Christian Graus on Code Project outages A moment of silence please. A programmer's best friend has passed beyond that great exception in the sky.... - Mark Conger on "The coffee machine has died"
Megan Forbes wrote: Why do I enjoy the company of male friends so much, why do I enjoy programming, why do I run away from gossipers in the bathroom... Perhaps it has something to do with the great relationship I shared with my Dad and brother as a kid. All I can say is I am definitely female Gender roles are definitley blurring more these days. Girls can be one of the boys and be accepted, not something very common back in the old days. I tend to shy away from the more macho things that other guys do, which always elicits raised eyebrows from certain guys. I don't have much of a reason like maybe your dad and brother are too you. But I am definitley male :rolleyes: I am going to change my name to 1234 so people do not generate any perceptions based on my gender :-D
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaColin Davies wrote: ...can you imagine a John Simmons stalker !
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Megan Forbes wrote: Why do I enjoy the company of male friends so much, why do I enjoy programming, why do I run away from gossipers in the bathroom... Perhaps it has something to do with the great relationship I shared with my Dad and brother as a kid. All I can say is I am definitely female Gender roles are definitley blurring more these days. Girls can be one of the boys and be accepted, not something very common back in the old days. I tend to shy away from the more macho things that other guys do, which always elicits raised eyebrows from certain guys. I don't have much of a reason like maybe your dad and brother are too you. But I am definitley male :rolleyes: I am going to change my name to 1234 so people do not generate any perceptions based on my gender :-D
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaColin Davies wrote: ...can you imagine a John Simmons stalker !
Paul Watson wrote: I am going to change my name to 1234 so people do not generate any perceptions based on my gender :laugh: Paul Watson wrote: which always elicits raised eyebrows from certain guys I think that people who have insecurities about their sexuality are the ones who try to appear overly confident in the traditional role of their gender. Being middle of the road means being a more balanced person, and also means you should get on better with your chosen partner. Unfortunately, because of the disgusting macho thing (jocks can bite my intelligent programming arse), I think it is harder for normal well adjusted guys to be themselves than it is for women. :)
I knew it would end badly when I first met Chris in a Canberra alleyway and he said 'try some - it won't hurt you'..... - Christian Graus on Code Project outages A moment of silence please. A programmer's best friend has passed beyond that great exception in the sky.... - Mark Conger on "The coffee machine has died"
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Christian Graus wrote: Fishing is crap. You get cold, and if you manage to catch something, it's bound to taste like fish when you eat it. LOL, you are not doing it right then. I have spent many a glorious few weeks on the waters of Lake Kariba, rod in one hand, beer in the other, sun over head and just relaxing. There are no computers around so no chance to code. Fishing requires the right company and in-going attitude though. Otherwise it is crap. Christian Graus wrote: How do you mean ? Sometimes I would get home and literally I am fine. Not superb, not unhappy, just fine. No need to talk much or figure something out or anything... just totally fine. But, and this is not just my girlfriend, "I am fine" is not a satisfactory answer to "How are you" and neither is "Fine thanks and yours?" when she asks "How was your day?" "I am fine" must have a reason in Woman TermsTM. Sometimes I just don't need or want to psychoanalyse every facet of what led up to me being "fine." I just want to be. Christian Graus wrote: Sounds like your life is hell. I never say goodbye to what I want to do, what is she going to do ? hehe, no, actually I am just talking from hearsay. Mainly from what married men here on CP and life in general have to say about married life. Not being married I cannot really say whether I would have my way or not. Christian Graus wrote: Yeah - I'll tell my wife that tonight. Come park with me, bebe !!!! LMAO, that is so out of character I had to laugh :)
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaColin Davies wrote: ...can you imagine a John Simmons stalker !
Paul Watson wrote: rod in one hand, beer in the other Need I say more :-D... -- Andrew.
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Paul Watson wrote: rod in one hand, beer in the other Need I say more :-D... -- Andrew.
Andrew Peace wrote: Need I say more Exactly! * BTW "rod in one hand" was reffering to a fishing rod. :~
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaColin Davies wrote: ...can you imagine a John Simmons stalker !
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And this would be because 96% of CPians are men? :rolleyes: Seriously, after posting an answer to Paul about this this morning, I left for work. Along the way I was thinking about it. Now, please don't think I speak for the majority of the female population, I could be off track (almost all of my friends are male, I don't enjoy gossiping in the bathroom - however, I am totally heterosexual, my husband turns me on big time :-O , etc, etc...) but I think the misunderstanding may come in here: Men for some strange reason feel threatened when asked about their feelings, women like to know how their partners are feeling. Perhaps some have a wierd hidden agenda, I don't know. What I do know is that if Brendan has had a bad day, I like to know this as soon as he gets home. Why? you ask? Because that way I can give him a little extra attention, kiss him a few extra times, make some pudding to go with his dinner, and generally make him feel special. And I don't care what anyone says - by the time a couple of hours have passed he is happy and joking and relaxed again, so I'm sure he must enjoy this "making him feel special" treatment. Also, it seems to me that most people who live in close proximity to each other have misunderstandings, and things that irritate each other. The coincidence that most of us have heterosexual relationships leads to us complaining about the other sex, but in truth, you will probably notice many of the small iritating things you see in your partner in people of the same sex as you. That said, there are obviously differences between the sexes, which is what makes marraige so interesting :-D
I knew it would end badly when I first met Chris in a Canberra alleyway and he said 'try some - it won't hurt you'..... - Christian Graus on Code Project outages A moment of silence please. A programmer's best friend has passed beyond that great exception in the sky.... - Mark Conger on "The coffee machine has died"
Megan Forbes wrote: Because that way I can give him a little extra attention, kiss him a few extra times, make some pudding to go with his dinner, and generally make him feel special My guess is that this is because this is how you would like to be treated if you had a hard day, eh? So maybe (I obivously don't know Brendan at all), in his mind, if you had a hard day, he would just leave you be, because that is how guys deal with it. Right? So you treat him like the way you'd like to be treated, and he'll treat you like the way he likes to be treated, and somehow along the way, he'll find himself in the doghouse because he's not treating properly (damn, I used the word "treated" waaaaay too much recently). Am I making ANY sense? Highly unlikely, but I can try, eh? If I have a hard day, I'm not in the best of moods, but after a while, I'm back to my old happy self, but I doubt having extra pudding for dessert would have changed that. The kisses on the other hand.... :-D:-D That's why I ramble so much. If you're short and quotable, there's a much greater danger of ending up in a sig. [Christopher Duncan on how to prevent yourself from ending up in a sig]
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Christian Graus wrote: I can show her I appreciate her coming home and watching me cook dinner and take care of the kids..... :laugh: Oh boy! Let me give another tip if I may. Firstly, we females are odd creatures. Just like men, sometimes we need space, in which case, being smothered in cuddles is not appropriate. But if you can catch it before it gets to the "it's fine" stage, then a hug and an "I love you" will do the trick. Don't ask me why we are this way, but a wife wants to know she is the most important thing in your life - the fact that it is true, means nothing, without hugs and "I love you's". Crazy world huh? :rolleyes:
I knew it would end badly when I first met Chris in a Canberra alleyway and he said 'try some - it won't hurt you'..... - Christian Graus on Code Project outages A moment of silence please. A programmer's best friend has passed beyond that great exception in the sky.... - Mark Conger on "The coffee machine has died"
Megan Forbes wrote: Crazy world huh? Didn't Trollslayer make the comment above that "why can't men be more logical?" (or something similar). And here you are saying that women aren't logical. Excellent; there's dissension in the ranks! :-D That's why I ramble so much. If you're short and quotable, there's a much greater danger of ending up in a sig. [Christopher Duncan on how to prevent yourself from ending up in a sig]
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Paul Watson wrote: I am going to change my name to 1234 so people do not generate any perceptions based on my gender :laugh: Paul Watson wrote: which always elicits raised eyebrows from certain guys I think that people who have insecurities about their sexuality are the ones who try to appear overly confident in the traditional role of their gender. Being middle of the road means being a more balanced person, and also means you should get on better with your chosen partner. Unfortunately, because of the disgusting macho thing (jocks can bite my intelligent programming arse), I think it is harder for normal well adjusted guys to be themselves than it is for women. :)
I knew it would end badly when I first met Chris in a Canberra alleyway and he said 'try some - it won't hurt you'..... - Christian Graus on Code Project outages A moment of silence please. A programmer's best friend has passed beyond that great exception in the sky.... - Mark Conger on "The coffee machine has died"
Megan Forbes wrote: jocks can bite my intelligent programming arse Amen sister! But I'm sure that's a comment true to (almost) all programmers, mostly due to flashbacks in highschool. Or was it only me? Please say it's not just me! :~ That's why I ramble so much. If you're short and quotable, there's a much greater danger of ending up in a sig. [Christopher Duncan on how to prevent yourself from ending up in a sig]
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Dylan Kenneally wrote: STOP! This sort of thing can lead to mind warps, and insanity! It's just not a good way to start a sentance... LOL, apologies, I forgot the cardinal rule of understanding women.
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaColin Davies wrote: ...can you imagine a John Simmons stalker !
Paul Watson wrote: the cardinal rule of understanding women. There are rules????:wtf: Oh wait... I remember one now: "I am always wrong." :-D [EDIT] Just to clarify, "I" refers to the male in the situation [/EDIT] That's why I ramble so much. If you're short and quotable, there's a much greater danger of ending up in a sig. [Christopher Duncan on how to prevent yourself from ending up in a sig]
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Paul Watson wrote: the cardinal rule of understanding women. There are rules????:wtf: Oh wait... I remember one now: "I am always wrong." :-D [EDIT] Just to clarify, "I" refers to the male in the situation [/EDIT] That's why I ramble so much. If you're short and quotable, there's a much greater danger of ending up in a sig. [Christopher Duncan on how to prevent yourself from ending up in a sig]
Atlantys wrote: There are rules???? Oh wait... I remember one now: "I am always wrong." The Cardinal rule though of understanding women is; You can't, so don't try. Atlantys wrote: Just to clarify, "I" refers to the male in the situation LOL
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaColin Davies wrote: ...can you imagine a John Simmons stalker !
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Megan Forbes wrote: Why do I enjoy the company of male friends so much, why do I enjoy programming, why do I run away from gossipers in the bathroom... Perhaps it has something to do with the great relationship I shared with my Dad and brother as a kid. All I can say is I am definitely female Gender roles are definitley blurring more these days. Girls can be one of the boys and be accepted, not something very common back in the old days. I tend to shy away from the more macho things that other guys do, which always elicits raised eyebrows from certain guys. I don't have much of a reason like maybe your dad and brother are too you. But I am definitley male :rolleyes: I am going to change my name to 1234 so people do not generate any perceptions based on my gender :-D
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaColin Davies wrote: ...can you imagine a John Simmons stalker !
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Megan Forbes wrote: Because that way I can give him a little extra attention, kiss him a few extra times, make some pudding to go with his dinner, and generally make him feel special My guess is that this is because this is how you would like to be treated if you had a hard day, eh? So maybe (I obivously don't know Brendan at all), in his mind, if you had a hard day, he would just leave you be, because that is how guys deal with it. Right? So you treat him like the way you'd like to be treated, and he'll treat you like the way he likes to be treated, and somehow along the way, he'll find himself in the doghouse because he's not treating properly (damn, I used the word "treated" waaaaay too much recently). Am I making ANY sense? Highly unlikely, but I can try, eh? If I have a hard day, I'm not in the best of moods, but after a while, I'm back to my old happy self, but I doubt having extra pudding for dessert would have changed that. The kisses on the other hand.... :-D:-D That's why I ramble so much. If you're short and quotable, there's a much greater danger of ending up in a sig. [Christopher Duncan on how to prevent yourself from ending up in a sig]
Funnily enough, no. He does exactly the same when I am sad. In fact, he will push it to massaging my feet, back, etc. But then I've never denied that we are one of those lucky matches made in heaven. :-D :love: :-O
I knew it would end badly when I first met Chris in a Canberra alleyway and he said 'try some - it won't hurt you'..... - Christian Graus on Code Project outages A moment of silence please. A programmer's best friend has passed beyond that great exception in the sky.... - Mark Conger on "The coffee machine has died"
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Megan Forbes wrote: Crazy world huh? Didn't Trollslayer make the comment above that "why can't men be more logical?" (or something similar). And here you are saying that women aren't logical. Excellent; there's dissension in the ranks! :-D That's why I ramble so much. If you're short and quotable, there's a much greater danger of ending up in a sig. [Christopher Duncan on how to prevent yourself from ending up in a sig]
Atlantys wrote: Excellent; there's dissension in the ranks! Now you aren't being logical :P Who says the two are mutually exclusive? :laugh:
I knew it would end badly when I first met Chris in a Canberra alleyway and he said 'try some - it won't hurt you'..... - Christian Graus on Code Project outages A moment of silence please. A programmer's best friend has passed beyond that great exception in the sky.... - Mark Conger on "The coffee machine has died"
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Megan Forbes wrote: jocks can bite my intelligent programming arse Amen sister! But I'm sure that's a comment true to (almost) all programmers, mostly due to flashbacks in highschool. Or was it only me? Please say it's not just me! :~ That's why I ramble so much. If you're short and quotable, there's a much greater danger of ending up in a sig. [Christopher Duncan on how to prevent yourself from ending up in a sig]
Definitely not just you :) Ever notice how much better we do in the adult world than the average IQ jock? :rolleyes: Sadistic delight...
I knew it would end badly when I first met Chris in a Canberra alleyway and he said 'try some - it won't hurt you'..... - Christian Graus on Code Project outages A moment of silence please. A programmer's best friend has passed beyond that great exception in the sky.... - Mark Conger on "The coffee machine has died"
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Definitely not just you :) Ever notice how much better we do in the adult world than the average IQ jock? :rolleyes: Sadistic delight...
I knew it would end badly when I first met Chris in a Canberra alleyway and he said 'try some - it won't hurt you'..... - Christian Graus on Code Project outages A moment of silence please. A programmer's best friend has passed beyond that great exception in the sky.... - Mark Conger on "The coffee machine has died"
Megan Forbes wrote: er notice how much better we do in the adult world than the average IQ jock? The ultimate revenge is being succesful. (well, maybe not the *ultimate* revenge, so it's more like the "Almost Ultimate, But Not Quite, Revenge" ;P ). I just want to show up to my 10 year high school reunion in one of my Mclaren F1s with $100 bills just falling out of my suit, and me without a care. How cool would that be? :cool: Not to mention having Natalie Portman on my arm.* :-D:-D * I can dream can't I! :-D That's why I ramble so much. If you're short and quotable, there's a much greater danger of ending up in a sig. [Christopher Duncan on how to prevent yourself from ending up in a sig]