Scouser and Liverpool bashing jokes.

[Roger Allen]

Some are versions of old ones, some are new, some are quite good. Nothing against Scousers or liverpudlians myself (yet). :-D After having their 11th child, a Scouse couple decided that was enough, as they couldnt get a larger council house. So the husband went to his Doctor and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. A less costly alternative, said the doctor, was to go home, get a banger (a firework to you), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10. The Scouser said to the doctor, "Eh eh, I may not be der smartest man in der world, but I don't see 'ow puttin a banger in a beer can next to me ear's going to 'elp us out like" "Trust me," said the Doc. So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count: "1" "2" "3" "4" "5" At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs, and resumed counting on his other hand. A Manchester van driver used to amuse himself by running over every Liverpool fan he would see strutting down the side of the road in their ubiquitous red colours. He would swerve to hit them and there would be a loud 'THUMP' and then he would swerve back on the road. One day, as the driver was driving along, he saw a priest hitch-hiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the van over. He asked the Priest ''where are you going, Father?' 'I'm going to say mass at St. Joseph's church, about 2 miles down the road' replied the priest. 'No problem Father! I'll give you a lift! Climb in!' The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the van continued down the road. Suddenly the driver saw a Liverpool fan walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. But, just in time, he remembered the priest, so at the last minute he swerved back to the road, narrowly missing the bastard. However even though he was certain he missed the house-robbing, grannystabbing, shite, he still heard a loud 'THUD.' Not understanding where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn't see anything he turned to the priest and said 'I'm sorry Father, I almost hit the Liverpool fan.' 'That's okay' replied the priest. 'I got the fu(ker with the door!' Three men are sitting in the maternity ward of a hospital wai

[Brian Delahunty]

hehe :laugh: Some new ones in there. Thanks for the laugh roger :-) Regards, Brian Dela :-)
Run naked in the snow until you're sweating like a stuck pig and can't seem to catch your breath. When the flu becomes pneumonia, they can cure that with a shot. - Roger Wright