Acronyms and expressions -- give us your best!
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A guy who I used to work with had two infamous sayings. Sadly, he passed away a few years ago and left a huge gap here, but his wit and wisdom did not go to the grave with him. Two of the best: ~ If you're not causing production problems, you're not doing anything. (supervisor-types weren't fans of that one) ~ IIWD2WISBD2U * If it was difficult to write, it should be difficult to understand. [This, coming from one of two Computer Engineering folks, with everyone else in the shop holding DP/business degrees.] (Lazy developers who couldn't program their way out of a paper bag with a hole in it (or who had yet to master Google) were not particularly fond of that one)
DILLIGAF Do I Look Like I Give A F...inished this sentence yet? LOMBARD Lots Of Money But A Real D...head. I have, in the past, referred to certain co-workers as "Errol Flynn" ... basically they f...k everything they touch.
www.CADbloke.com The Broadcast Systems Documentation SYSTEM "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation" -Zen & the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
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A guy who I used to work with had two infamous sayings. Sadly, he passed away a few years ago and left a huge gap here, but his wit and wisdom did not go to the grave with him. Two of the best: ~ If you're not causing production problems, you're not doing anything. (supervisor-types weren't fans of that one) ~ IIWD2WISBD2U * If it was difficult to write, it should be difficult to understand. [This, coming from one of two Computer Engineering folks, with everyone else in the shop holding DP/business degrees.] (Lazy developers who couldn't program their way out of a paper bag with a hole in it (or who had yet to master Google) were not particularly fond of that one)
I am the DSJB: Departmental Sh!t-Job(*) Boy. (*) Source control wizard (Visual SourceSafe, no less), build server admin, build process author, ...
Software Zen:
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A guy who I used to work with had two infamous sayings. Sadly, he passed away a few years ago and left a huge gap here, but his wit and wisdom did not go to the grave with him. Two of the best: ~ If you're not causing production problems, you're not doing anything. (supervisor-types weren't fans of that one) ~ IIWD2WISBD2U * If it was difficult to write, it should be difficult to understand. [This, coming from one of two Computer Engineering folks, with everyone else in the shop holding DP/business degrees.] (Lazy developers who couldn't program their way out of a paper bag with a hole in it (or who had yet to master Google) were not particularly fond of that one)
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From long ago...WMTSU means 'we're making this stuff up'.
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
Are you sure the "S" stands for "stuff"? :-D
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined." - Homer
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Not tech related, but I did find it giggle worthy when the doctor told us that my wife needed T&A. He meant "tonsils and adenoids removal", but I'm very immature :)
Haaaaa. A few years ago, I was travelling with some coworkers every other week for "knowledge transfer" (aka "you're on OUR turf now! do this grunt work you persnickety perfectionist group of code monkeys who have made our lives ") at our vendor's HQ. At their location, temp offices for remote managers who had come in to work were named after colors. "Joe is in the magenta office this week", etc. Conference rooms were named after gemstones: "2 PM code review in Sapphire room". And the nine project work areas were named after the planets. We discovered we were *way* too juvenile to work in a place where every time we had to get up for coffee, lunch breaks, restroom, etc., we had to walk past Uranus. The jokes were plentiful, frequent, and totally immature.
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A guy who I used to work with had two infamous sayings. Sadly, he passed away a few years ago and left a huge gap here, but his wit and wisdom did not go to the grave with him. Two of the best: ~ If you're not causing production problems, you're not doing anything. (supervisor-types weren't fans of that one) ~ IIWD2WISBD2U * If it was difficult to write, it should be difficult to understand. [This, coming from one of two Computer Engineering folks, with everyone else in the shop holding DP/business degrees.] (Lazy developers who couldn't program their way out of a paper bag with a hole in it (or who had yet to master Google) were not particularly fond of that one)
When people are wetting their panties over some perceived problem "Who's going to die? Yeah, that's what I thought." Which usually gets people to stop panicking and start thinking how we're going to solve this problem. Of course, it doesn't work for every application. "They're either going to get over it, or die still pissed off." More when dealing with idiots, and you have to give them a rebuke. When you're right, stand up for yourself.
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A guy who I used to work with had two infamous sayings. Sadly, he passed away a few years ago and left a huge gap here, but his wit and wisdom did not go to the grave with him. Two of the best: ~ If you're not causing production problems, you're not doing anything. (supervisor-types weren't fans of that one) ~ IIWD2WISBD2U * If it was difficult to write, it should be difficult to understand. [This, coming from one of two Computer Engineering folks, with everyone else in the shop holding DP/business degrees.] (Lazy developers who couldn't program their way out of a paper bag with a hole in it (or who had yet to master Google) were not particularly fond of that one)
TLA - three letter acronym
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A guy who I used to work with had two infamous sayings. Sadly, he passed away a few years ago and left a huge gap here, but his wit and wisdom did not go to the grave with him. Two of the best: ~ If you're not causing production problems, you're not doing anything. (supervisor-types weren't fans of that one) ~ IIWD2WISBD2U * If it was difficult to write, it should be difficult to understand. [This, coming from one of two Computer Engineering folks, with everyone else in the shop holding DP/business degrees.] (Lazy developers who couldn't program their way out of a paper bag with a hole in it (or who had yet to master Google) were not particularly fond of that one)
CRM - Constantly Requires Maintenance ISM (a wonderfully crappy tool from IBM that you have hopefully never had to use) - I S*&t Myself - because it s%&ts itself all the time. Lotus Notes = Blotus Notes
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A guy who I used to work with had two infamous sayings. Sadly, he passed away a few years ago and left a huge gap here, but his wit and wisdom did not go to the grave with him. Two of the best: ~ If you're not causing production problems, you're not doing anything. (supervisor-types weren't fans of that one) ~ IIWD2WISBD2U * If it was difficult to write, it should be difficult to understand. [This, coming from one of two Computer Engineering folks, with everyone else in the shop holding DP/business degrees.] (Lazy developers who couldn't program their way out of a paper bag with a hole in it (or who had yet to master Google) were not particularly fond of that one)
I am sure every heard of the "ID ten T" error? Spelled out: ID10T Not acronyms, but the two funniest error messages in my carrier, are based on the confusion they caused. On the old PDP/11: "Maybe you no run on right system?" and many years later, there was a SPOT the code should NEVER get to. We don't like silent errors, so this one bubbled up: "Houston, We have a Problem!" Unfortunately, it popped up during an install in Texas. And the COMPETITOR had a big office in Houston. Panic set in, before we could explain... Fun!
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A guy who I used to work with had two infamous sayings. Sadly, he passed away a few years ago and left a huge gap here, but his wit and wisdom did not go to the grave with him. Two of the best: ~ If you're not causing production problems, you're not doing anything. (supervisor-types weren't fans of that one) ~ IIWD2WISBD2U * If it was difficult to write, it should be difficult to understand. [This, coming from one of two Computer Engineering folks, with everyone else in the shop holding DP/business degrees.] (Lazy developers who couldn't program their way out of a paper bag with a hole in it (or who had yet to master Google) were not particularly fond of that one)
From the car world: FORD: Fix Or Repair Daily. LOTUS: Loads Of Trouble, Usually Serious. ALFA: Aging Latin F*ckwit's Ambulance. BMW: Break My Windows. FIAT: Fix It Again, Tony. JEEP: Just Empty Every Pocket.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay... AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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A guy who I used to work with had two infamous sayings. Sadly, he passed away a few years ago and left a huge gap here, but his wit and wisdom did not go to the grave with him. Two of the best: ~ If you're not causing production problems, you're not doing anything. (supervisor-types weren't fans of that one) ~ IIWD2WISBD2U * If it was difficult to write, it should be difficult to understand. [This, coming from one of two Computer Engineering folks, with everyone else in the shop holding DP/business degrees.] (Lazy developers who couldn't program their way out of a paper bag with a hole in it (or who had yet to master Google) were not particularly fond of that one)
One I use alongside TODO and HACK:
//WTF: who wrote this and what were you thinking?
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A guy who I used to work with had two infamous sayings. Sadly, he passed away a few years ago and left a huge gap here, but his wit and wisdom did not go to the grave with him. Two of the best: ~ If you're not causing production problems, you're not doing anything. (supervisor-types weren't fans of that one) ~ IIWD2WISBD2U * If it was difficult to write, it should be difficult to understand. [This, coming from one of two Computer Engineering folks, with everyone else in the shop holding DP/business degrees.] (Lazy developers who couldn't program their way out of a paper bag with a hole in it (or who had yet to master Google) were not particularly fond of that one)
I used these two just this morning. I was donating platelets at the Red Cross. After the first bad stick, "In for a penny, in for a pound". When the phlebotomist moved to the second arm, "Measure twice and pierce once". They seemed amused at the time. Others: When in doubt, spell it out. (Yes. I programmed with COBOL) RTFM - Read The F@#king Manual. (When manuals were thin enough to read). Doesn't anyone use SNAFU anymore? Or is this meant to be a more esoteric list?
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From the car world: FORD: Fix Or Repair Daily. LOTUS: Loads Of Trouble, Usually Serious. ALFA: Aging Latin F*ckwit's Ambulance. BMW: Break My Windows. FIAT: Fix It Again, Tony. JEEP: Just Empty Every Pocket.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay... AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
FORD - Found On Road, Dead.
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I used these two just this morning. I was donating platelets at the Red Cross. After the first bad stick, "In for a penny, in for a pound". When the phlebotomist moved to the second arm, "Measure twice and pierce once". They seemed amused at the time. Others: When in doubt, spell it out. (Yes. I programmed with COBOL) RTFM - Read The F@#king Manual. (When manuals were thin enough to read). Doesn't anyone use SNAFU anymore? Or is this meant to be a more esoteric list?
I use SNAFU and FUBAR both. Still.
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FORD - Found On Road, Dead.
From Central Virginia -- FORD -- Found on the Richmond Dump
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FORD - Found On Road, Dead.
From Central Virginia -- FORD -- Found on the Richmond Dump
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A guy who I used to work with had two infamous sayings. Sadly, he passed away a few years ago and left a huge gap here, but his wit and wisdom did not go to the grave with him. Two of the best: ~ If you're not causing production problems, you're not doing anything. (supervisor-types weren't fans of that one) ~ IIWD2WISBD2U * If it was difficult to write, it should be difficult to understand. [This, coming from one of two Computer Engineering folks, with everyone else in the shop holding DP/business degrees.] (Lazy developers who couldn't program their way out of a paper bag with a hole in it (or who had yet to master Google) were not particularly fond of that one)
The 7Ps would have saved a bunch of work throughout the years: Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance!
It Is The Absolute Verifiable Truth & Proven Fact
That Your Belly-Button Signature Ties
To Viviparous Mama.
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CRM - Constantly Requires Maintenance ISM (a wonderfully crappy tool from IBM that you have hopefully never had to use) - I S*&t Myself - because it s%&ts itself all the time. Lotus Notes = Blotus Notes
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A guy who I used to work with had two infamous sayings. Sadly, he passed away a few years ago and left a huge gap here, but his wit and wisdom did not go to the grave with him. Two of the best: ~ If you're not causing production problems, you're not doing anything. (supervisor-types weren't fans of that one) ~ IIWD2WISBD2U * If it was difficult to write, it should be difficult to understand. [This, coming from one of two Computer Engineering folks, with everyone else in the shop holding DP/business degrees.] (Lazy developers who couldn't program their way out of a paper bag with a hole in it (or who had yet to master Google) were not particularly fond of that one)
LMGBTYOT - Let me get back to you on that was one of our standard replies when undergoing Software Process certification
emilG "Dealing with failure is easy: Work hard to improve. Success is also easy to handle: You've solved the wrong problem. Work hard to improve." - Alan Perlis
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A guy who I used to work with had two infamous sayings. Sadly, he passed away a few years ago and left a huge gap here, but his wit and wisdom did not go to the grave with him. Two of the best: ~ If you're not causing production problems, you're not doing anything. (supervisor-types weren't fans of that one) ~ IIWD2WISBD2U * If it was difficult to write, it should be difficult to understand. [This, coming from one of two Computer Engineering folks, with everyone else in the shop holding DP/business degrees.] (Lazy developers who couldn't program their way out of a paper bag with a hole in it (or who had yet to master Google) were not particularly fond of that one)
One of my personal favourites is Recto-Cranial Invert. It means the same as a**hole, but sounds almost medical. :)
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack. --Winston Churchill
