Hello IT, I need some technical information...
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Nah, you get arrested for that. "Turning them back on again" gets you labeled as "a Hero" (or "a paramedic", occasionally both).
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay... AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
Or you can start your own TV church and retire as a rich man
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello
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Or you can start your own TV church and retire as a rich man
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello
Please. I do have some moral fibre.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay... AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Highlights of a genuine email exchange between me (now working "in the business") and "IT" Me: "I'm trying to write some VBA to send emails via SMTP ... what is the server name and port number to use at this site?" <insert long, long delay here> IT: "Can I remote onto your PC to fix your Outlook problems" <repeat this for as many times as there are "Advisers" on the Service Desk> Eventually... IT: "You shouldn't be using SMTP, you should use our utility that uses IMAP" <insert facepalm and long, long delay here> To cut a very, very long (months long) story short, I finally manage to get in (email) contact with the person that is going to solve my problem... allegedly ... IT: "There is a table that you interact with and it will send the emails for you" (Dontcha just love the techie speak?) Me: "Ok. How do I "interact" with "the table" using VBA? What is the table called? Can you provide the connection string? What data is required? Are there any instructions?" <...and you knew there was going to be a long delay in here didn't you :laugh: > The final answer: IT: "You have to interact with the table." After 40 years, it comes down to this. I have no words to describe the professionalism of this latest generation of "experts" :sigh: P.S. I do, I just can't use them in polite company
Overheard recently: Someone to an IT support guy: "Christ! If you knew any less about computers, they'd give you a job in PC World!"
98.4% of statistics are made up on the spot.
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Highlights of a genuine email exchange between me (now working "in the business") and "IT" Me: "I'm trying to write some VBA to send emails via SMTP ... what is the server name and port number to use at this site?" <insert long, long delay here> IT: "Can I remote onto your PC to fix your Outlook problems" <repeat this for as many times as there are "Advisers" on the Service Desk> Eventually... IT: "You shouldn't be using SMTP, you should use our utility that uses IMAP" <insert facepalm and long, long delay here> To cut a very, very long (months long) story short, I finally manage to get in (email) contact with the person that is going to solve my problem... allegedly ... IT: "There is a table that you interact with and it will send the emails for you" (Dontcha just love the techie speak?) Me: "Ok. How do I "interact" with "the table" using VBA? What is the table called? Can you provide the connection string? What data is required? Are there any instructions?" <...and you knew there was going to be a long delay in here didn't you :laugh: > The final answer: IT: "You have to interact with the table." After 40 years, it comes down to this. I have no words to describe the professionalism of this latest generation of "experts" :sigh: P.S. I do, I just can't use them in polite company
At least you're not trying to send through gmail....
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At least you're not trying to send through gmail....
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Highlights of a genuine email exchange between me (now working "in the business") and "IT" Me: "I'm trying to write some VBA to send emails via SMTP ... what is the server name and port number to use at this site?" <insert long, long delay here> IT: "Can I remote onto your PC to fix your Outlook problems" <repeat this for as many times as there are "Advisers" on the Service Desk> Eventually... IT: "You shouldn't be using SMTP, you should use our utility that uses IMAP" <insert facepalm and long, long delay here> To cut a very, very long (months long) story short, I finally manage to get in (email) contact with the person that is going to solve my problem... allegedly ... IT: "There is a table that you interact with and it will send the emails for you" (Dontcha just love the techie speak?) Me: "Ok. How do I "interact" with "the table" using VBA? What is the table called? Can you provide the connection string? What data is required? Are there any instructions?" <...and you knew there was going to be a long delay in here didn't you :laugh: > The final answer: IT: "You have to interact with the table." After 40 years, it comes down to this. I have no words to describe the professionalism of this latest generation of "experts" :sigh: P.S. I do, I just can't use them in polite company
I've finally had a reply ... that mentions 4 or 5 options for sending automated emails from the company. One of the offerings is Amazon SES (which is not yet available to us :doh: ) Another is ... you've guessed it "SMTP direct"... ... but still no details :sigh: They're now offering me "technical assistance". I suspect that will be end up being technical assistance with my hibernation pod[^] while I wait for a resolution in my lifetime. We're doomed :laugh:
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I've finally had a reply ... that mentions 4 or 5 options for sending automated emails from the company. One of the offerings is Amazon SES (which is not yet available to us :doh: ) Another is ... you've guessed it "SMTP direct"... ... but still no details :sigh: They're now offering me "technical assistance". I suspect that will be end up being technical assistance with my hibernation pod[^] while I wait for a resolution in my lifetime. We're doomed :laugh:
If you only need the server and port and know the domain you can do it yourself:
nslookup
set type=mx
[domain]
quitor on a Linux shell
dig [domain] mx
Enter the bare domain (e.g. codeproject.com). If multiple answers are present choose from the servers with the smallest preference value. Once having the server name try connecting (e.g. with telnet) using the common ports (25, 465, 587).
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If you only need the server and port and know the domain you can do it yourself:
nslookup
set type=mx
[domain]
quitor on a Linux shell
dig [domain] mx
Enter the bare domain (e.g. codeproject.com). If multiple answers are present choose from the servers with the smallest preference value. Once having the server name try connecting (e.g. with telnet) using the common ports (25, 465, 587).
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Highlights of a genuine email exchange between me (now working "in the business") and "IT" Me: "I'm trying to write some VBA to send emails via SMTP ... what is the server name and port number to use at this site?" <insert long, long delay here> IT: "Can I remote onto your PC to fix your Outlook problems" <repeat this for as many times as there are "Advisers" on the Service Desk> Eventually... IT: "You shouldn't be using SMTP, you should use our utility that uses IMAP" <insert facepalm and long, long delay here> To cut a very, very long (months long) story short, I finally manage to get in (email) contact with the person that is going to solve my problem... allegedly ... IT: "There is a table that you interact with and it will send the emails for you" (Dontcha just love the techie speak?) Me: "Ok. How do I "interact" with "the table" using VBA? What is the table called? Can you provide the connection string? What data is required? Are there any instructions?" <...and you knew there was going to be a long delay in here didn't you :laugh: > The final answer: IT: "You have to interact with the table." After 40 years, it comes down to this. I have no words to describe the professionalism of this latest generation of "experts" :sigh: P.S. I do, I just can't use them in polite company
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Highlights of a genuine email exchange between me (now working "in the business") and "IT" Me: "I'm trying to write some VBA to send emails via SMTP ... what is the server name and port number to use at this site?" <insert long, long delay here> IT: "Can I remote onto your PC to fix your Outlook problems" <repeat this for as many times as there are "Advisers" on the Service Desk> Eventually... IT: "You shouldn't be using SMTP, you should use our utility that uses IMAP" <insert facepalm and long, long delay here> To cut a very, very long (months long) story short, I finally manage to get in (email) contact with the person that is going to solve my problem... allegedly ... IT: "There is a table that you interact with and it will send the emails for you" (Dontcha just love the techie speak?) Me: "Ok. How do I "interact" with "the table" using VBA? What is the table called? Can you provide the connection string? What data is required? Are there any instructions?" <...and you knew there was going to be a long delay in here didn't you :laugh: > The final answer: IT: "You have to interact with the table." After 40 years, it comes down to this. I have no words to describe the professionalism of this latest generation of "experts" :sigh: P.S. I do, I just can't use them in polite company
I once opened a support ticket titled: "How do I know the backups are good?" sub-text was IT claimed to be backing up our files, but I believe in a trust but verify policy. The request went nuclear - "What do you mean the backups aren't good?" - seriously, I had IT people with flushed faces harassing me. After they calmed down, they verified... and found out some were bad. Fast forward 5 years - backups were incomplete for 4 months before anyone noticed. sigh... speaking of which! I need to run my backups
Charlie Gilley <italic>Stuck in a dysfunctional matrix from which I must escape... "Where liberty dwells, there is my country." B. Franklin, 1783 “They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759
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Highlights of a genuine email exchange between me (now working "in the business") and "IT" Me: "I'm trying to write some VBA to send emails via SMTP ... what is the server name and port number to use at this site?" <insert long, long delay here> IT: "Can I remote onto your PC to fix your Outlook problems" <repeat this for as many times as there are "Advisers" on the Service Desk> Eventually... IT: "You shouldn't be using SMTP, you should use our utility that uses IMAP" <insert facepalm and long, long delay here> To cut a very, very long (months long) story short, I finally manage to get in (email) contact with the person that is going to solve my problem... allegedly ... IT: "There is a table that you interact with and it will send the emails for you" (Dontcha just love the techie speak?) Me: "Ok. How do I "interact" with "the table" using VBA? What is the table called? Can you provide the connection string? What data is required? Are there any instructions?" <...and you knew there was going to be a long delay in here didn't you :laugh: > The final answer: IT: "You have to interact with the table." After 40 years, it comes down to this. I have no words to describe the professionalism of this latest generation of "experts" :sigh: P.S. I do, I just can't use them in polite company
I was just explaining in 40 emails (back and forth) to an IT guy, how normal server certificate validation procedure should work. He was trying to explain to me, their basically homemade solution on the server and was trying to force me, to bend my client side to be basically crippled. This is quite a large (state partially involved) company, I might add. After 40 emails he requested we phoned. After 5 minutes of intense explanations, he conceded that they'll fix their server to use security standards, will remove the ridiculous solution and call to all the business partners to fix the security on their side. Finally a WIN! :cool:
In order to understand stack overflow, you must first understand stack overflow.
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I once opened a support ticket titled: "How do I know the backups are good?" sub-text was IT claimed to be backing up our files, but I believe in a trust but verify policy. The request went nuclear - "What do you mean the backups aren't good?" - seriously, I had IT people with flushed faces harassing me. After they calmed down, they verified... and found out some were bad. Fast forward 5 years - backups were incomplete for 4 months before anyone noticed. sigh... speaking of which! I need to run my backups
Charlie Gilley <italic>Stuck in a dysfunctional matrix from which I must escape... "Where liberty dwells, there is my country." B. Franklin, 1783 “They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759
Sounds familiar: Me : I notice that the backups for our new system only consists of daily incremental backups for the past two weeks. Can you please implement full weekly backups on a 4 week cycle, and full monthly backups on a 12 month cycle. I'd also like a full annual backup which is to be kept for 7 years. (This was a major finance system!!!) Them : Wow, that's a lot of backups. You do realise that we're backing up to the cloud, and we have to pay for all that space? I don't think we can justify the expense. We have budgets to think of. Me : We also have a legal obligation to our clients to keep their information safe. Two weeks of incremental backups isn't going to do it. Just picture what happens if there's a problem in mid December, then half the company goes on holiday, and the problem isn't noticed until mid January? We would not be able to recover. Them : Oh, that'll never happen. You're just paranoid. Two weeks is more than we kept in the last place I worked! Me : "Dear Board of Directors, I know you would like to avoid lawsuits if at all possible..." Cue arrival of external consulting firm, who actually knew their stuff for once, and implemented the most robust disaster recovery system I have ever set eyes on. It's amazing how quickly people react when you tell them about a threat to their annual bonuses.
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Sounds familiar: Me : I notice that the backups for our new system only consists of daily incremental backups for the past two weeks. Can you please implement full weekly backups on a 4 week cycle, and full monthly backups on a 12 month cycle. I'd also like a full annual backup which is to be kept for 7 years. (This was a major finance system!!!) Them : Wow, that's a lot of backups. You do realise that we're backing up to the cloud, and we have to pay for all that space? I don't think we can justify the expense. We have budgets to think of. Me : We also have a legal obligation to our clients to keep their information safe. Two weeks of incremental backups isn't going to do it. Just picture what happens if there's a problem in mid December, then half the company goes on holiday, and the problem isn't noticed until mid January? We would not be able to recover. Them : Oh, that'll never happen. You're just paranoid. Two weeks is more than we kept in the last place I worked! Me : "Dear Board of Directors, I know you would like to avoid lawsuits if at all possible..." Cue arrival of external consulting firm, who actually knew their stuff for once, and implemented the most robust disaster recovery system I have ever set eyes on. It's amazing how quickly people react when you tell them about a threat to their annual bonuses.
:thumbsup: I support a customer located out in LA. I was trying to vpn into their network, nothing was working. Tried calling the office, no answer (lines dead), so I called my contact on his cell. Seems the mid-size firm they used for telecommunications (phones, internet, etc) was having a technical issue. In one day: - hi, my network is down. them: "yes, we're aware of the situation, should be fixed shortly." - hi, now my phones don't work either. them: "yes, we've had a hardware failure, we're working it." - hello? calling them now gets a this number has been disconnected message. Apparently, this mid-size firm had invested in a fairly large network switch that had worked fine for several years. They had dozens of companies contracted to provide network, voip, etc. Over the weekend, the switch crashed hard, and they learned no one had backed up anything. At all... The owners of the company immediately declared bankruptcy, cashed out, closed the doors and left.
Charlie Gilley <italic>Stuck in a dysfunctional matrix from which I must escape... "Where liberty dwells, there is my country." B. Franklin, 1783 “They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759
