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  4. Alcohol Warning!!

Alcohol Warning!!

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  • B Offline
    B Offline
    ballyduff
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    Alcohol Warning!! Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may Mack you tink you can tipe real gode.

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    • B ballyduff

      Alcohol Warning!! Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may Mack you tink you can tipe real gode.

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      M Offline
      Megan Forbes
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      ballyduff wrote: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. :laugh: How many times have I watched flatmates doing this! :-D


      So few words, and yet so precise! Megan, you're a poet of mathematical accuracy! - Jörgen Sigvardsson

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      • M Megan Forbes

        ballyduff wrote: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. :laugh: How many times have I watched flatmates doing this! :-D


        So few words, and yet so precise! Megan, you're a poet of mathematical accuracy! - Jörgen Sigvardsson

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        C Offline
        Chris Losinger
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        Megan Forbes wrote: How many times have I watched flatmates doing this! yeah... some people are totally... ummm.... pathetic :~ i made a fair number of late night "she-still-likes-me" calls when i was in college. :) To vote with no response is to follow the way of the coward.

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        • B ballyduff

          Alcohol Warning!! Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may Mack you tink you can tipe real gode.

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          Ian Darling
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          You forgot: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to be unable to get 'it' up (I have never had this problem myself :laugh: ) and WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you believe that kebabs are edible (I have had this problem though :-) ) -- Ian Darling

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          • M Megan Forbes

            ballyduff wrote: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. :laugh: How many times have I watched flatmates doing this! :-D


            So few words, and yet so precise! Megan, you're a poet of mathematical accuracy! - Jörgen Sigvardsson

            J Offline
            J Offline
            Jason Henderson
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            I had some of these calls made to me (at 2 in the morning).

            Jason Henderson

            My articles

            "The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter." - Winston Churchill

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            • J Jason Henderson

              I had some of these calls made to me (at 2 in the morning).

              Jason Henderson

              My articles

              "The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter." - Winston Churchill

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              M Offline
              Megan Forbes
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              "Jason - studmuffin at large"... :-D


              So few words, and yet so precise! Megan, you're a poet of mathematical accuracy! - Jörgen Sigvardsson

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              • M Megan Forbes

                "Jason - studmuffin at large"... :-D


                So few words, and yet so precise! Megan, you're a poet of mathematical accuracy! - Jörgen Sigvardsson

                J Offline
                J Offline
                Jason Henderson
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                :-O

                Jason Henderson

                My articles

                "The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter." - Winston Churchill

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