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The Company Christmas Party...

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Back Room
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  • P Paul Watson

    Amen to that, Elaine! Non-drinking, veggy eating, nicotine-avoiding, sugar-cursing people may live 10 more years than us, but hell those are 10 miserable extra years. We know about quality over quantity. regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass South Africa Brian Welsch wrote: "blah blah blah, maybe a potato?" while translating my Afrikaans. Crikey! ain't life grand? Einstein says...

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    Roger Wright
    wrote on last edited by
    #7

    Paul Watson wrote: Non-drinking, veggy eating, nicotine-avoiding, sugar-cursing people may live 10 more years than us They don't, really - it just feels like it. "Your village called -
    They're missing their idiot."

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    • R Rob Manderson

      As a conscientious atheist, unreformed alcoholic and chain smoker I laughed my head off at this :) Now if only we can persuade people who pretend to be civilised that a nativity scene need NOT present a view of caucasian westernised white people with impeccable complexions, perfect hairdos and expressions on their faces that remind one of vacuity :) Rob Manderson http://www.mindprobes.net **Paul Watson wrote:**What sense would you most dislike loosing? Ian Darling replied. Telepathy Then I'd no longer be able to find out everyones dirty little secrets The Lounge, December 4 2003

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      Megan Forbes
      wrote on last edited by
      #8

      Rob Manderson wrote: Now if only we can persuade people who pretend to be civilised that a nativity scene need NOT present a view of caucasian westernised white people with impeccable complexions, perfect hairdos and expressions on their faces that remind one of vacuity After listening to the radio on my way home yesterday my idea of nativity scenes / plays seems to need some help. This woman phoned in and said she'd just been to her daughter's school nativity play. Where her daughter was playing Jack in the beanstalk :wtf:. Now possibly I wasn't concentrating in Sunday school as a lighty, and didn't realise that Jack and his beanstalk were dragged along by the wise men as they followed the star. But could I also have missed the fact that Jack was female? :~


      Look at the world about you and trust to your own convictions. - Ansel Adams
      Meg's World - Blog Photography - The product of my passion

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      • P Paul Watson

        Tis long but funny. Sad that this is often not far from the truth. FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees RE: Christmas Party DATE: December 1 I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols ... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 P.M. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time, however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time! Merry Christmas to you and your family. Patty FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: December 2 RE: Holiday Party In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanza at this time. There will be no Christmas tree. No, Christmas carols sung. We will have another type of music for your enjoyment. Happy Holidays to you and your family. Patty FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: December 3 RE: Holiday Party Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only," you wouldn't be anonymous anymore, would you? How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody? And forget about the gift exchange; no gifts are allowed since union members feel that $10 is too much, and executives think it's chintzy. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED. Patty FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director To: All Employees DATE: December 7 RE: Holiday Party What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps Luigi's can hold o

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        Megan Forbes
        wrote on last edited by
        #9

        Paul Watson wrote: Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men. Each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table. To the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross-dressing is allowed. We will have booster seats for short people. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Hey, shortism has been addressed. Long live political correctness! :doh:


        Look at the world about you and trust to your own convictions. - Ansel Adams
        Meg's World - Blog Photography - The product of my passion

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        • M Megan Forbes

          Paul Watson wrote: Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men. Each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table. To the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross-dressing is allowed. We will have booster seats for short people. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Hey, shortism has been addressed. Long live political correctness! :doh:


          Look at the world about you and trust to your own convictions. - Ansel Adams
          Meg's World - Blog Photography - The product of my passion

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          Nick Seng
          wrote on last edited by
          #10

          Megan Forbes wrote: shortism tut, tut. The correct term is vertically challenged ;P


          "if you vote me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine" - Michael P. Butler. Support Bone

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          • M Megan Forbes

            Rob Manderson wrote: Now if only we can persuade people who pretend to be civilised that a nativity scene need NOT present a view of caucasian westernised white people with impeccable complexions, perfect hairdos and expressions on their faces that remind one of vacuity After listening to the radio on my way home yesterday my idea of nativity scenes / plays seems to need some help. This woman phoned in and said she'd just been to her daughter's school nativity play. Where her daughter was playing Jack in the beanstalk :wtf:. Now possibly I wasn't concentrating in Sunday school as a lighty, and didn't realise that Jack and his beanstalk were dragged along by the wise men as they followed the star. But could I also have missed the fact that Jack was female? :~


            Look at the world about you and trust to your own convictions. - Ansel Adams
            Meg's World - Blog Photography - The product of my passion

            R Offline
            R Offline
            Rob Manderson
            wrote on last edited by
            #11

            Megan Forbes wrote: could I also have missed the fact that Jack was female I very much doubt you missed it :) My comment was prompted by observations in my nightly walk around this part of Scottsdale. Now let's put aside the fact that I regard Christmas with dread. (I could have been Dickens model for Scrooge in that respect). What I see is a bunch of people who bedeck their houses and gardens with lights. (Remember the scene in National Lampoons Christmas Vacation where Chevy Chase turns on his Christmas lights and downs the entire grid? I always thought it was exaggerated until I saw a US Christmas). The lights I can live with. The misspellings I can live with (one fool hereabouts thinks that Merry Christmas is spelled Mery Crismas). But I find it difficult to cope with the nativity scenes I see. I think it's the essential 'whiteness' of the depictions, when it's well known that Jesus was black. Rob Manderson http://www.mindprobes.net **Paul Watson wrote:**What sense would you most dislike loosing? Ian Darling replied. Telepathy Then I'd no longer be able to find out everyones dirty little secrets The Lounge, December 4 2003

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            • R Roger Wright

              Paul Watson wrote: Non-drinking, veggy eating, nicotine-avoiding, sugar-cursing people may live 10 more years than us They don't, really - it just feels like it. "Your village called -
              They're missing their idiot."

              R Offline
              R Offline
              Rob Manderson
              wrote on last edited by
              #12

              You've been married haven't you :) Rob Manderson http://www.mindprobes.net **Paul Watson wrote:**What sense would you most dislike loosing? Ian Darling replied. Telepathy Then I'd no longer be able to find out everyones dirty little secrets The Lounge, December 4 2003

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              • N Nick Seng

                Megan Forbes wrote: shortism tut, tut. The correct term is vertically challenged ;P


                "if you vote me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine" - Michael P. Butler. Support Bone

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                Megan Forbes
                wrote on last edited by
                #13

                Nick Seng wrote: tut, tut. The correct term is vertically challenged Indeed! But people who don't realise this are just plain shortist! :-D


                Look at the world about you and trust to your own convictions. - Ansel Adams
                Meg's World - Blog Photography - The product of my passion

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                • M Megan Forbes

                  Nick Seng wrote: tut, tut. The correct term is vertically challenged Indeed! But people who don't realise this are just plain shortist! :-D


                  Look at the world about you and trust to your own convictions. - Ansel Adams
                  Meg's World - Blog Photography - The product of my passion

                  N Offline
                  N Offline
                  Nick Seng
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #14

                  But aren't those people "political correctically challenged" ?:rolleyes:


                  "if you vote me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine" - Michael P. Butler. Support Bone

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                  • P Paul Watson

                    Tis long but funny. Sad that this is often not far from the truth. FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees RE: Christmas Party DATE: December 1 I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols ... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 P.M. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time, however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time! Merry Christmas to you and your family. Patty FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: December 2 RE: Holiday Party In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanza at this time. There will be no Christmas tree. No, Christmas carols sung. We will have another type of music for your enjoyment. Happy Holidays to you and your family. Patty FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: December 3 RE: Holiday Party Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only," you wouldn't be anonymous anymore, would you? How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody? And forget about the gift exchange; no gifts are allowed since union members feel that $10 is too much, and executives think it's chintzy. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED. Patty FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director To: All Employees DATE: December 7 RE: Holiday Party What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps Luigi's can hold o

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                    J Offline
                    jan larsen
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #15

                    Isn't it a scary thought that IKEA has actually cancelled the Christmas Party because the don't want to offend the employees with other cultures. :~ "After all it's just text at the end of the day. - Colin Davies "For example, when a VB programmer comes to my house, they may say 'does your pool need cleaning, sir ?' " - Christian Graus

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                    • J jan larsen

                      Isn't it a scary thought that IKEA has actually cancelled the Christmas Party because the don't want to offend the employees with other cultures. :~ "After all it's just text at the end of the day. - Colin Davies "For example, when a VB programmer comes to my house, they may say 'does your pool need cleaning, sir ?' " - Christian Graus

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                      Paul Watson
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #16

                      They did? Do Arabic companies cancel their holidays? I doubt it. regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass South Africa Brian Welsch wrote: "blah blah blah, maybe a potato?" while translating my Afrikaans. Crikey! ain't life grand? Einstein says...

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • N Nick Seng

                        But aren't those people "political correctically challenged" ?:rolleyes:


                        "if you vote me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine" - Michael P. Butler. Support Bone

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                        M Offline
                        Megan Forbes
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #17

                        Indeed they are! :-D


                        Look at the world about you and trust to your own convictions. - Ansel Adams
                        Meg's World - Blog Photography - The product of my passion

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • R Rob Manderson

                          You've been married haven't you :) Rob Manderson http://www.mindprobes.net **Paul Watson wrote:**What sense would you most dislike loosing? Ian Darling replied. Telepathy Then I'd no longer be able to find out everyones dirty little secrets The Lounge, December 4 2003

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                          Lost User
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #18

                          Rob Manderson wrote: Paul Watson wrote:What sense would you most dislike loosing? Common ! The tigress is here :-D

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                          • R Rob Manderson

                            You've been married haven't you :) Rob Manderson http://www.mindprobes.net **Paul Watson wrote:**What sense would you most dislike loosing? Ian Darling replied. Telepathy Then I'd no longer be able to find out everyones dirty little secrets The Lounge, December 4 2003

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                            Roger Wright
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #19

                            It shows, eh?:-O "Your village called -
                            They're missing their idiot."

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • R Rob Manderson

                              As a conscientious atheist, unreformed alcoholic and chain smoker I laughed my head off at this :) Now if only we can persuade people who pretend to be civilised that a nativity scene need NOT present a view of caucasian westernised white people with impeccable complexions, perfect hairdos and expressions on their faces that remind one of vacuity :) Rob Manderson http://www.mindprobes.net **Paul Watson wrote:**What sense would you most dislike loosing? Ian Darling replied. Telepathy Then I'd no longer be able to find out everyones dirty little secrets The Lounge, December 4 2003

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                              Daniel Ferguson
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #20

                              Rob Manderson wrote: Now if only we can persuade people who pretend to be civilised that a nativity scene need NOT present a view of caucasian westernised white people with impeccable complexions, perfect hairdos and expressions on their faces that remind one of vacuity And an Aryan (adult) Jesus. I wonder why Christian men don't grow their hair long when Jesus had long hair and it was the source of Samson's strength.

                              « eikonoklastes »

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                              • R Rob Manderson

                                As a conscientious atheist, unreformed alcoholic and chain smoker I laughed my head off at this :) Now if only we can persuade people who pretend to be civilised that a nativity scene need NOT present a view of caucasian westernised white people with impeccable complexions, perfect hairdos and expressions on their faces that remind one of vacuity :) Rob Manderson http://www.mindprobes.net **Paul Watson wrote:**What sense would you most dislike loosing? Ian Darling replied. Telepathy Then I'd no longer be able to find out everyones dirty little secrets The Lounge, December 4 2003

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                                Jeremy Kimball
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #21

                                Rob Manderson wrote: As a conscientious atheist, unreformed alcoholic and chain smoker I laughed my head off at this Ahh, my like-minded brethren! :) Jeremy Kimball

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                                • R Rob Manderson

                                  As a conscientious atheist, unreformed alcoholic and chain smoker I laughed my head off at this :) Now if only we can persuade people who pretend to be civilised that a nativity scene need NOT present a view of caucasian westernised white people with impeccable complexions, perfect hairdos and expressions on their faces that remind one of vacuity :) Rob Manderson http://www.mindprobes.net **Paul Watson wrote:**What sense would you most dislike loosing? Ian Darling replied. Telepathy Then I'd no longer be able to find out everyones dirty little secrets The Lounge, December 4 2003

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                                  Lost User
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #22

                                  As an atheist without concience I don't really care if nativity scenes depict three headed aliens with their eyeballs on stalks. What difference does it make? All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.

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                                  • P Paul Watson

                                    Tis long but funny. Sad that this is often not far from the truth. FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees RE: Christmas Party DATE: December 1 I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols ... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 P.M. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time, however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time! Merry Christmas to you and your family. Patty FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: December 2 RE: Holiday Party In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanza at this time. There will be no Christmas tree. No, Christmas carols sung. We will have another type of music for your enjoyment. Happy Holidays to you and your family. Patty FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: December 3 RE: Holiday Party Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only," you wouldn't be anonymous anymore, would you? How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody? And forget about the gift exchange; no gifts are allowed since union members feel that $10 is too much, and executives think it's chintzy. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED. Patty FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director To: All Employees DATE: December 7 RE: Holiday Party What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps Luigi's can hold o

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                                    Terry ONolley
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #23

                                    To close to the truth to be funny.


                                    Have you answered an MTQ? Check out the stats!

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                                    • R Rob Manderson

                                      Megan Forbes wrote: could I also have missed the fact that Jack was female I very much doubt you missed it :) My comment was prompted by observations in my nightly walk around this part of Scottsdale. Now let's put aside the fact that I regard Christmas with dread. (I could have been Dickens model for Scrooge in that respect). What I see is a bunch of people who bedeck their houses and gardens with lights. (Remember the scene in National Lampoons Christmas Vacation where Chevy Chase turns on his Christmas lights and downs the entire grid? I always thought it was exaggerated until I saw a US Christmas). The lights I can live with. The misspellings I can live with (one fool hereabouts thinks that Merry Christmas is spelled Mery Crismas). But I find it difficult to cope with the nativity scenes I see. I think it's the essential 'whiteness' of the depictions, when it's well known that Jesus was black. Rob Manderson http://www.mindprobes.net **Paul Watson wrote:**What sense would you most dislike loosing? Ian Darling replied. Telepathy Then I'd no longer be able to find out everyones dirty little secrets The Lounge, December 4 2003

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                                      Nitron
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #24

                                      Rob Manderson wrote: I always thought it was exaggerated until I saw a US Christmas One can never have too many lights!!! <Tim Allen voice> Ough, ough, ough... </Tim Allen voice> - Nitron


                                      "Those that say a task is impossible shouldn't interrupt the ones who are doing it." - Chinese Proverb

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                                      • J jan larsen

                                        Isn't it a scary thought that IKEA has actually cancelled the Christmas Party because the don't want to offend the employees with other cultures. :~ "After all it's just text at the end of the day. - Colin Davies "For example, when a VB programmer comes to my house, they may say 'does your pool need cleaning, sir ?' " - Christian Graus

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                                        T Offline
                                        Tim Craig
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #25

                                        jan larsen wrote: Isn't it a scary thought that IKEA has actually cancelled the Christmas Party because the don't want to offend the employees with other cultures. And why is that scarey? Do they have parties for other cultures' holidays? What are us poor atheists to do? Why go out of their way to foster a culture of us and them within the company? At any given instant there are considerably more assholes than mouths in the universe.

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                                        • T Tim Craig

                                          jan larsen wrote: Isn't it a scary thought that IKEA has actually cancelled the Christmas Party because the don't want to offend the employees with other cultures. And why is that scarey? Do they have parties for other cultures' holidays? What are us poor atheists to do? Why go out of their way to foster a culture of us and them within the company? At any given instant there are considerably more assholes than mouths in the universe.

                                          L Offline
                                          L Offline
                                          Lost User
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #26

                                          Tim Craig wrote: Why go out of their way to foster a culture of us and them within the company? Ummm... a free meal and open bar?! :laugh: Written by a confirmed athiest who never turns down a good Christmas Holiday party. All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.

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