Is misery valuable?
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Consider all the moments of your life (or those you can remember), and your enjoyment (or lack) of them, subjective though it is. Consider the value you place on your life. Would it be worth more to you if all moments of physical or emotional pain and suffering had not existed? Would it be worthless if they were all you had?
"The time has come," the Walrus said, "To talk of many things..."It worked for Fyodor Dostoevsky, he would have been a nobody if he grew up in a life of leisure in the Bahamas. Most everyone needs goads to excel in life look at anyone truly sucessful and they didn't get that way because they "thought it might be interesting". Underlying every great life or even every great action is probably a lot of misery somewhere.
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You have many, many fellows. Bad relationships come with life, no extra charge, they are character building.:) regards, Paul Watson South Africa Michael Dunn wrote: "except the sod who voted this a 1, NO SOUP FOR YOU" Crikey! ain't life grand?
Paul Watson wrote: Bad relationships come with life, no extra charge, they are character building Pay attention to the little things and the big things will take care of themselves. I have been married ( to the same woman ) for 35 years. We dated for two years before making the big step and we knew each others good and bad points. We have had our highs and lows - like any couple would - but never in all those years have we even came close to the point where we would consider leaving each other - even the time when she left me at a gas station 145 mile from home for telling her that her beef stew was horrible. Richard "Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer --Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
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I agree with much of what you wrote. It is very thoughtful, however not very practical. The whatif's you talk about are nothing more than a mental exercise. We still can't turn back time or know the future. In the present, our mistakes and the wrongs done to us by others leave us with options, none of which involve erasing the past. We can choose to learn from our mistakes and from the pain inflicted by others and grow stronger or we can spend our life in bitterness, unforgiveness, and resentment. I chose the former. Gary Kirkham A working Program is one that has only unobserved bugs He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliot Me blog, You read
Gary Kirkham wrote: or we can spend our life in bitterness, unforgiveness, and resentment Being bitter and resentfull can have its moments - look at the Democratic Party for example.. Richard "Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer --Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
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Paul Watson wrote: Bad relationships come with life, no extra charge, they are character building Pay attention to the little things and the big things will take care of themselves. I have been married ( to the same woman ) for 35 years. We dated for two years before making the big step and we knew each others good and bad points. We have had our highs and lows - like any couple would - but never in all those years have we even came close to the point where we would consider leaving each other - even the time when she left me at a gas station 145 mile from home for telling her that her beef stew was horrible. Richard "Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer --Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
Richard Stringer wrote: even the time when she left me at a gas station 145 mile from home for telling her that her beef stew was horrible. :omg: What did you learn from that? One might be tempted to learn that, "honesty doesn't pay." I have always found that it was best to keep my mouth shut. However, then you get the "we never talk anymore" speech. :) Gary Kirkham A working Program is one that has only unobserved bugs He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliot Me blog, You read
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Gary Kirkham wrote: or we can spend our life in bitterness, unforgiveness, and resentment Being bitter and resentfull can have its moments - look at the Democratic Party for example.. Richard "Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer --Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
:) Gary Kirkham A working Program is one that has only unobserved bugs He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliot Me blog, You read
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Richard Stringer wrote: even the time when she left me at a gas station 145 mile from home for telling her that her beef stew was horrible. :omg: What did you learn from that? One might be tempted to learn that, "honesty doesn't pay." I have always found that it was best to keep my mouth shut. However, then you get the "we never talk anymore" speech. :) Gary Kirkham A working Program is one that has only unobserved bugs He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliot Me blog, You read
Gary Kirkham wrote: What did you learn from that? One might be tempted to learn that, "honesty doesn't pay." One of the many things that comes with age is the ability to critize without being blunt or damaging someones ego. Not really the ability ( that must be learned ) but the necessity of doing so. So instead of saying "The stew sucked" I would now say "That was OK but seemed to be lacking a little something". That "little something" of course being that it tasted like an old tire but we need not mention that part :) Its like someone asking you to look at a piece of code and give your opinion. So you look at this little gem and notice that there are 0 comments - multiple exit points from functions - unneeded code that actually did nothing - variables that were not initialised - etc.. Other than that the code did what it was supposed to but was about 3 times as lengthy as it needed to be. Do you say "This code sucks" or do you say "If I were you I would make sure that I got no warnings on level 4 before using this. It seems a bit lengthy and verbose". Or something like that. Richard "Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer --Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
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Gary Kirkham wrote: What did you learn from that? One might be tempted to learn that, "honesty doesn't pay." One of the many things that comes with age is the ability to critize without being blunt or damaging someones ego. Not really the ability ( that must be learned ) but the necessity of doing so. So instead of saying "The stew sucked" I would now say "That was OK but seemed to be lacking a little something". That "little something" of course being that it tasted like an old tire but we need not mention that part :) Its like someone asking you to look at a piece of code and give your opinion. So you look at this little gem and notice that there are 0 comments - multiple exit points from functions - unneeded code that actually did nothing - variables that were not initialised - etc.. Other than that the code did what it was supposed to but was about 3 times as lengthy as it needed to be. Do you say "This code sucks" or do you say "If I were you I would make sure that I got no warnings on level 4 before using this. It seems a bit lengthy and verbose". Or something like that. Richard "Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer --Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
Life is full of learning opportunities. Like the time, not long after we started dating, that I asked my future wife what she wanted for her birthday. Her ony reply was that she wanted a new power cord for her electric skillet. You guessed it, that was all I got her. The lesson learned on my part, and the means by which I learned it, is obvious. Still, to this day (22 years later) she tells me what she really wants, when I ask her. Gary Kirkham A working Program is one that has only unobserved bugs He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliot Me blog, You read
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Consider all the moments of your life (or those you can remember), and your enjoyment (or lack) of them, subjective though it is. Consider the value you place on your life. Would it be worth more to you if all moments of physical or emotional pain and suffering had not existed? Would it be worthless if they were all you had?
"The time has come," the Walrus said, "To talk of many things..."Shog9 wrote: Would it be worth more to you if all moments of physical or emotional pain and suffering had not existed? Considering how I've lived until now, it wouldn't make my life any more valuable. I'm where I'm at because of what I've done and experienced. Although some things could be better, but I'm pretty much content with my life right now. Shog9 wrote: Would it be worthless if they were all you had? If it was all I had ever had, then I'd probably be very ill. Maybe so ill that I'd just give up and jump. -- Weiter, weiter, ins verderben. Wir müssen leben bis wir sterben. I blog too now[^]
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I agree with much of what you wrote. It is very thoughtful, however not very practical. The whatif's you talk about are nothing more than a mental exercise. We still can't turn back time or know the future. In the present, our mistakes and the wrongs done to us by others leave us with options, none of which involve erasing the past. We can choose to learn from our mistakes and from the pain inflicted by others and grow stronger or we can spend our life in bitterness, unforgiveness, and resentment. I chose the former. Gary Kirkham A working Program is one that has only unobserved bugs He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliot Me blog, You read
Gary Kirkham wrote: We still can't turn back time or know the future. In the present, our mistakes and the wrongs done to us by others leave us with options, none of which involve erasing the past. We can choose to learn from our mistakes and from the pain inflicted by others and grow stronger or we can spend our life in bitterness, unforgiveness, and resentment. I chose the former. Acknowledgement that past misery has not been worth the good that came from it is a different issue than trying to make the best of it. Pretending that past pain produced more good than bad may be a useful psychological trick to prevent us from becoming bitter. Though that's only an issue if you can't simply accept the truth about the past without getting bitter about it. ----------------------------------------------------- Empires Of Steel[^]
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Gary Kirkham wrote: We still can't turn back time or know the future. In the present, our mistakes and the wrongs done to us by others leave us with options, none of which involve erasing the past. We can choose to learn from our mistakes and from the pain inflicted by others and grow stronger or we can spend our life in bitterness, unforgiveness, and resentment. I chose the former. Acknowledgement that past misery has not been worth the good that came from it is a different issue than trying to make the best of it. Pretending that past pain produced more good than bad may be a useful psychological trick to prevent us from becoming bitter. Though that's only an issue if you can't simply accept the truth about the past without getting bitter about it. ----------------------------------------------------- Empires Of Steel[^]
Brit wrote: make the best of it It is not that...It is acknowledging what happened, learn from what happened, and get on with your life. It is a choice of the will. Wallowing in resentment, unforgiveness, and bitterness is also a choice of the will. I spent a good portion of my adult life there and it will eat you alive. There is no trickery involved; it comes down to accepting either, the truth of a situation or your feelings about a situation. I don't know about you, but my feelings quite often lie to me...so I stopped trusting them when they don't line up with the truth...well, most of the time. :) Gary Kirkham A working Program is one that has only unobserved bugs He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliot Me blog, You read
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You have many, many fellows. Bad relationships come with life, no extra charge, they are character building.:) regards, Paul Watson South Africa Michael Dunn wrote: "except the sod who voted this a 1, NO SOUP FOR YOU" Crikey! ain't life grand?
Paul Watson wrote: Bad relationships come with life, no extra charge, they are character building. Yeah, but in Marc's and my cases, we ended up marrying into those poor relationships and suffered that much more I guess :-)
My blog on C++/CLI, MFC/Win32, .NET - void Nish(char* szBlog); My MVP tips, tricks and essays web site - www.voidnish.com
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Richard Stringer wrote: even the time when she left me at a gas station 145 mile from home for telling her that her beef stew was horrible. :omg: What did you learn from that? One might be tempted to learn that, "honesty doesn't pay." I have always found that it was best to keep my mouth shut. However, then you get the "we never talk anymore" speech. :) Gary Kirkham A working Program is one that has only unobserved bugs He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliot Me blog, You read
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Consider all the moments of your life (or those you can remember), and your enjoyment (or lack) of them, subjective though it is. Consider the value you place on your life. Would it be worth more to you if all moments of physical or emotional pain and suffering had not existed? Would it be worthless if they were all you had?
"The time has come," the Walrus said, "To talk of many things..."IMHO, sufferings are needed. First, as in the joke about the man hitting his hand with a hammer, it feels so good when it ends. Next, like Nietschze Nieschtze Nietzsche said, what does not destroy me makes me stronger. And finally, it's hard to have a definitive opinion on this issue before the end of the story...As soon as I'm dead, I'll have a more finale answer :-D
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