JOTD
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A college professor, an avowed atheist and active in the ACLU (and probably CAIR too no doubt), was teaching his class. He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated that once and for all he was going to prove there was no God. Addressing the ceiling he shouted: "GOD, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes!!!!! The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by. " I'm waiting God, if you're real knock me off this platform!!!!" Again after 4 minutes, the professor taunted God saying, "Here I am,God!!! I'm still waiting!!!" His count down got down to the last couple of minutes when a MARINE, just released from the Navy after serving in Afghanistan and Iraq and newly registered in the class, walked up to the Professor. The MARINE hit him full force in the face, and sent the Professor tumbling from his lofty platform. The Professor was out cold!! The students were stunned and shocked. They began to babble in confusion. The MARINE nonchalantly took his seat in the front row and sat silent. The class looked at him and fell silent...waiting. Eventually, the professor came to and was noticeably shaken. He looked at the MARINE in the front row. When the professor regained his senses and could speak he asked: "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that"? "GOD was really busy, protecting America's soldiers, who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an a**hole...so he sent me!!" MARINE = my ass rides in navy equipment
greghop wrote: The MARINE hit him full force in the face, and sent the Professor tumbling from his lofty platform. GOD was really busy, protecting America's soldiers, This is one funny part, right? As if not even GOD is having to much success on protecting America's soldiers, they'd better fight professors with silly arguments. But I found another hidden funny part: the idea that God would take side in a war and protect the soldiers of one side while they try to kill soldiers on the other side. I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
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greghop wrote: The MARINE hit him full force in the face, and sent the Professor tumbling from his lofty platform. GOD was really busy, protecting America's soldiers, This is one funny part, right? As if not even GOD is having to much success on protecting America's soldiers, they'd better fight professors with silly arguments. But I found another hidden funny part: the idea that God would take side in a war and protect the soldiers of one side while they try to kill soldiers on the other side. I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
Diego Moita wrote: But I found another hidden funny part: the idea that God would take side in a war and protect the soldiers of one side while they try to kill soldiers on the other side. that's not funny, that's a scarey reality show being played out right now...
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I thought it was hilarious at least 10X funny as your "he he" comic post 12 threads previously
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A college professor, an avowed atheist and active in the ACLU (and probably CAIR too no doubt), was teaching his class. He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated that once and for all he was going to prove there was no God. Addressing the ceiling he shouted: "GOD, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes!!!!! The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by. " I'm waiting God, if you're real knock me off this platform!!!!" Again after 4 minutes, the professor taunted God saying, "Here I am,God!!! I'm still waiting!!!" His count down got down to the last couple of minutes when a MARINE, just released from the Navy after serving in Afghanistan and Iraq and newly registered in the class, walked up to the Professor. The MARINE hit him full force in the face, and sent the Professor tumbling from his lofty platform. The Professor was out cold!! The students were stunned and shocked. They began to babble in confusion. The MARINE nonchalantly took his seat in the front row and sat silent. The class looked at him and fell silent...waiting. Eventually, the professor came to and was noticeably shaken. He looked at the MARINE in the front row. When the professor regained his senses and could speak he asked: "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that"? "GOD was really busy, protecting America's soldiers, who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an a**hole...so he sent me!!" MARINE = my ass rides in navy equipment
Dear Lord Jesus, Thank you for not killing me before I had a chance to accept you as my Personal Savior. I believe that Liberals and Democrats are under the control of Satan and his sneering minions, the educated and the well-traveled. I do not want to be tossed into the incandescent flames of the sadistic hell you created for those who did not vote for George W. Bush or waiver in their faith by questioning the honesty, competence or syntax of Jesus' anointed. Please Lord Jesus, I want to become a True Republican and a Real American. I accept you as my Lord and Savior. I believe You died for my sins and rose on the third day and floated off to your invisible, exquisitely decorated mansion in the Holy Ghost's subdivision in the clouds while an audience of early Republican prophets looked on. I believe that in voting Republican, I am doing the implacable will of God. I long to join my brother in Christ, George W. Bush, and every single True Christian who voted for Him. I understand that all of America's problems began when we allowed ourselves to be seduced by the pinko, pacifistic false version of Jesus found in the New Testament, letting non-Protestant foreign trash into Your divine nation and squandering time we could have been at war trying to make peace with perfectly good enemies, before renewing our hearts and joyously embracing Republican Christianity's new improved, steroid-engorged version of Jesus Christ. I want to help eliminate the deadly disease of liberalism and assist my President and Your appointed servant on Earth to help rebuild this country into the Glorious Christian Nation it once was on the rocky shores of Puritan New England in the late 1600's. I gladly tithe my mind and no less than 10% of my paycheck, renouncing the demons of logic and education for they will no longer hold sway in my heart, as I now have both Mr. Bush and Mr. Jesus as my co-redeemers! Amen!
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A college professor, an avowed atheist and active in the ACLU (and probably CAIR too no doubt), was teaching his class. He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated that once and for all he was going to prove there was no God. Addressing the ceiling he shouted: "GOD, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes!!!!! The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by. " I'm waiting God, if you're real knock me off this platform!!!!" Again after 4 minutes, the professor taunted God saying, "Here I am,God!!! I'm still waiting!!!" His count down got down to the last couple of minutes when a MARINE, just released from the Navy after serving in Afghanistan and Iraq and newly registered in the class, walked up to the Professor. The MARINE hit him full force in the face, and sent the Professor tumbling from his lofty platform. The Professor was out cold!! The students were stunned and shocked. They began to babble in confusion. The MARINE nonchalantly took his seat in the front row and sat silent. The class looked at him and fell silent...waiting. Eventually, the professor came to and was noticeably shaken. He looked at the MARINE in the front row. When the professor regained his senses and could speak he asked: "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that"? "GOD was really busy, protecting America's soldiers, who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an a**hole...so he sent me!!" MARINE = my ass rides in navy equipment
Hey, thats really funny: The marine was call Geofrey Owen Davies, a welsh boy no doubt, and he was so thick it took him 10 minutes to work out his own initials! Ha ha ha, that is good, I always knew marines were intellectually challenged! Nunc est bibendum
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A college professor, an avowed atheist and active in the ACLU (and probably CAIR too no doubt), was teaching his class. He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated that once and for all he was going to prove there was no God. Addressing the ceiling he shouted: "GOD, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes!!!!! The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by. " I'm waiting God, if you're real knock me off this platform!!!!" Again after 4 minutes, the professor taunted God saying, "Here I am,God!!! I'm still waiting!!!" His count down got down to the last couple of minutes when a MARINE, just released from the Navy after serving in Afghanistan and Iraq and newly registered in the class, walked up to the Professor. The MARINE hit him full force in the face, and sent the Professor tumbling from his lofty platform. The Professor was out cold!! The students were stunned and shocked. They began to babble in confusion. The MARINE nonchalantly took his seat in the front row and sat silent. The class looked at him and fell silent...waiting. Eventually, the professor came to and was noticeably shaken. He looked at the MARINE in the front row. When the professor regained his senses and could speak he asked: "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that"? "GOD was really busy, protecting America's soldiers, who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an a**hole...so he sent me!!" MARINE = my ass rides in navy equipment
greghop wrote: GOD was really busy, protecting America's soldiers For someone who is all powerful and omni-present, he seems to be doing a very poor job of protecting American soldiers.
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A college professor, an avowed atheist and active in the ACLU (and probably CAIR too no doubt), was teaching his class. He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated that once and for all he was going to prove there was no God. Addressing the ceiling he shouted: "GOD, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes!!!!! The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by. " I'm waiting God, if you're real knock me off this platform!!!!" Again after 4 minutes, the professor taunted God saying, "Here I am,God!!! I'm still waiting!!!" His count down got down to the last couple of minutes when a MARINE, just released from the Navy after serving in Afghanistan and Iraq and newly registered in the class, walked up to the Professor. The MARINE hit him full force in the face, and sent the Professor tumbling from his lofty platform. The Professor was out cold!! The students were stunned and shocked. They began to babble in confusion. The MARINE nonchalantly took his seat in the front row and sat silent. The class looked at him and fell silent...waiting. Eventually, the professor came to and was noticeably shaken. He looked at the MARINE in the front row. When the professor regained his senses and could speak he asked: "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that"? "GOD was really busy, protecting America's soldiers, who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an a**hole...so he sent me!!" MARINE = my ass rides in navy equipment
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greghop wrote: The MARINE hit him full force in the face, and sent the Professor tumbling from his lofty platform. GOD was really busy, protecting America's soldiers, This is one funny part, right? As if not even GOD is having to much success on protecting America's soldiers, they'd better fight professors with silly arguments. But I found another hidden funny part: the idea that God would take side in a war and protect the soldiers of one side while they try to kill soldiers on the other side. I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
You know, GOD *could* *protect* the soldiers on both sides. It jsut gets silly when God should help you kill the others. But probably he's still pissed off that his girlfriend ran off with Adam after the Cider party.
Pandoras Gift #44: Hope. The one that keeps you on suffering.
aber.. "Wie gesagt, der Scheiss is' Therapie"
boost your code || Fold With Us! || sighist | doxygen -
it'ss good for third rate comedians that rightist are such a predictable target audience ;P
Pandoras Gift #44: Hope. The one that keeps you on suffering.
aber.. "Wie gesagt, der Scheiss is' Therapie"
boost your code || Fold With Us! || sighist | doxygen -
A college professor, an avowed atheist and active in the ACLU (and probably CAIR too no doubt), was teaching his class. He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated that once and for all he was going to prove there was no God. Addressing the ceiling he shouted: "GOD, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes!!!!! The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by. " I'm waiting God, if you're real knock me off this platform!!!!" Again after 4 minutes, the professor taunted God saying, "Here I am,God!!! I'm still waiting!!!" His count down got down to the last couple of minutes when a MARINE, just released from the Navy after serving in Afghanistan and Iraq and newly registered in the class, walked up to the Professor. The MARINE hit him full force in the face, and sent the Professor tumbling from his lofty platform. The Professor was out cold!! The students were stunned and shocked. They began to babble in confusion. The MARINE nonchalantly took his seat in the front row and sat silent. The class looked at him and fell silent...waiting. Eventually, the professor came to and was noticeably shaken. He looked at the MARINE in the front row. When the professor regained his senses and could speak he asked: "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that"? "GOD was really busy, protecting America's soldiers, who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an a**hole...so he sent me!!" MARINE = my ass rides in navy equipment
gave you a 4 because I think it isn't THAT bad. Voters: keep the ones for the real trolls.
Pandoras Gift #44: Hope. The one that keeps you on suffering.
aber.. "Wie gesagt, der Scheiss is' Therapie"
boost your code || Fold With Us! || sighist | doxygen -
A college professor, an avowed atheist and active in the ACLU (and probably CAIR too no doubt), was teaching his class. He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated that once and for all he was going to prove there was no God. Addressing the ceiling he shouted: "GOD, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes!!!!! The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by. " I'm waiting God, if you're real knock me off this platform!!!!" Again after 4 minutes, the professor taunted God saying, "Here I am,God!!! I'm still waiting!!!" His count down got down to the last couple of minutes when a MARINE, just released from the Navy after serving in Afghanistan and Iraq and newly registered in the class, walked up to the Professor. The MARINE hit him full force in the face, and sent the Professor tumbling from his lofty platform. The Professor was out cold!! The students were stunned and shocked. They began to babble in confusion. The MARINE nonchalantly took his seat in the front row and sat silent. The class looked at him and fell silent...waiting. Eventually, the professor came to and was noticeably shaken. He looked at the MARINE in the front row. When the professor regained his senses and could speak he asked: "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that"? "GOD was really busy, protecting America's soldiers, who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an a**hole...so he sent me!!" MARINE = my ass rides in navy equipment
Punching someone in the mouth certainly isn't very Christian. I like how MARINE and GOD are CAPITALIZED because they're IMPORTANT. It's like reading an ARCHIE comic where the POWER words are EMPHASIZED. A Christian student defies a professor in a completely new story that has certainly not been floating around in various forms since 1940!!!1![^] Jack Chick: the ultimate Christian lunatic. How I love him so. - F
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Punching someone in the mouth certainly isn't very Christian. I like how MARINE and GOD are CAPITALIZED because they're IMPORTANT. It's like reading an ARCHIE comic where the POWER words are EMPHASIZED. A Christian student defies a professor in a completely new story that has certainly not been floating around in various forms since 1940!!!1![^] Jack Chick: the ultimate Christian lunatic. How I love him so. - F
Fisticuffs wrote: Punching someone in the mouth certainly isn't very Christian but very MARINE! :jig: P.S. the tract doesn't load.
Pandoras Gift #44: Hope. The one that keeps you on suffering.
aber.. "Wie gesagt, der Scheiss is' Therapie"
boost your code || Fold With Us! || sighist | doxygen -- modified at 14:50 Tuesday 27th September, 2005 -
Fisticuffs wrote: Punching someone in the mouth certainly isn't very Christian but very MARINE! :jig: P.S. the tract doesn't load.
Pandoras Gift #44: Hope. The one that keeps you on suffering.
aber.. "Wie gesagt, der Scheiss is' Therapie"
boost your code || Fold With Us! || sighist | doxygen -- modified at 14:50 Tuesday 27th September, 2005 -
it'ss good for third rate comedians that rightist are such a predictable target audience ;P
Pandoras Gift #44: Hope. The one that keeps you on suffering.
aber.. "Wie gesagt, der Scheiss is' Therapie"
boost your code || Fold With Us! || sighist | doxygen -
kgaddy wrote: See what I mean? no.
Pandoras Gift #44: Hope. The one that keeps you on suffering.
aber.. "Wie gesagt, der Scheiss is' Therapie"
boost your code || Fold With Us! || sighist | doxygen -
Dear Lord Jesus, Thank you for not killing me before I had a chance to accept you as my Personal Savior. I believe that Liberals and Democrats are under the control of Satan and his sneering minions, the educated and the well-traveled. I do not want to be tossed into the incandescent flames of the sadistic hell you created for those who did not vote for George W. Bush or waiver in their faith by questioning the honesty, competence or syntax of Jesus' anointed. Please Lord Jesus, I want to become a True Republican and a Real American. I accept you as my Lord and Savior. I believe You died for my sins and rose on the third day and floated off to your invisible, exquisitely decorated mansion in the Holy Ghost's subdivision in the clouds while an audience of early Republican prophets looked on. I believe that in voting Republican, I am doing the implacable will of God. I long to join my brother in Christ, George W. Bush, and every single True Christian who voted for Him. I understand that all of America's problems began when we allowed ourselves to be seduced by the pinko, pacifistic false version of Jesus found in the New Testament, letting non-Protestant foreign trash into Your divine nation and squandering time we could have been at war trying to make peace with perfectly good enemies, before renewing our hearts and joyously embracing Republican Christianity's new improved, steroid-engorged version of Jesus Christ. I want to help eliminate the deadly disease of liberalism and assist my President and Your appointed servant on Earth to help rebuild this country into the Glorious Christian Nation it once was on the rocky shores of Puritan New England in the late 1600's. I gladly tithe my mind and no less than 10% of my paycheck, renouncing the demons of logic and education for they will no longer hold sway in my heart, as I now have both Mr. Bush and Mr. Jesus as my co-redeemers! Amen!
You are a racist.:rose:
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A college professor, an avowed atheist and active in the ACLU (and probably CAIR too no doubt), was teaching his class. He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated that once and for all he was going to prove there was no God. Addressing the ceiling he shouted: "GOD, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes!!!!! The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by. " I'm waiting God, if you're real knock me off this platform!!!!" Again after 4 minutes, the professor taunted God saying, "Here I am,God!!! I'm still waiting!!!" His count down got down to the last couple of minutes when a MARINE, just released from the Navy after serving in Afghanistan and Iraq and newly registered in the class, walked up to the Professor. The MARINE hit him full force in the face, and sent the Professor tumbling from his lofty platform. The Professor was out cold!! The students were stunned and shocked. They began to babble in confusion. The MARINE nonchalantly took his seat in the front row and sat silent. The class looked at him and fell silent...waiting. Eventually, the professor came to and was noticeably shaken. He looked at the MARINE in the front row. When the professor regained his senses and could speak he asked: "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that"? "GOD was really busy, protecting America's soldiers, who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an a**hole...so he sent me!!" MARINE = my ass rides in navy equipment
OK, as far as the story goes, when God starts doing parlor tricks, I'll start studying the Koran or Buddhism. And I know it's just a story, but a more Christian response would have been to simply say "God does not do parlor tricks at your command, but if you ever find yourself on the wrong end of a gun, I bet you'll start praying quick and pray he listens." It is a stupid story. Now, I know I am gonna get flamed hard by the Right on this one, but it's not like I care: As far as Iraq and Afghanistan go, in response to 9/11, here is what the Christian thing, and dare I say it? even the American thing, and definitely the smartest thing to do would have been: Christian: Turn the other cheek. Don't even try to argue that one. Christ said it, Christ did it. End of story. American: Bury/memorialize the dead, announce to the world that those people died like all Americans die - Free and American, and that no one or no one's actions could change that fact, rebuild the towers, and open them for business. Smart: Take all that money we've pissed away on military actions that have not accomplished squat, and instead use it to do something important - secure America's borders, harbors, ports, and transportation. Flame away!!! ;P -- modified at 16:35 Tuesday 27th September, 2005
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OK, as far as the story goes, when God starts doing parlor tricks, I'll start studying the Koran or Buddhism. And I know it's just a story, but a more Christian response would have been to simply say "God does not do parlor tricks at your command, but if you ever find yourself on the wrong end of a gun, I bet you'll start praying quick and pray he listens." It is a stupid story. Now, I know I am gonna get flamed hard by the Right on this one, but it's not like I care: As far as Iraq and Afghanistan go, in response to 9/11, here is what the Christian thing, and dare I say it? even the American thing, and definitely the smartest thing to do would have been: Christian: Turn the other cheek. Don't even try to argue that one. Christ said it, Christ did it. End of story. American: Bury/memorialize the dead, announce to the world that those people died like all Americans die - Free and American, and that no one or no one's actions could change that fact, rebuild the towers, and open them for business. Smart: Take all that money we've pissed away on military actions that have not accomplished squat, and instead use it to do something important - secure America's borders, harbors, ports, and transportation. Flame away!!! ;P -- modified at 16:35 Tuesday 27th September, 2005