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jotd

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Back Room
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  • B Offline
    B Offline
    Bernhard
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    A young man joined the army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he phoned his father to tell him the news. "So, did you jump?" the father asked. "Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the 'plane, and the Sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane" "Is that when you jumped?" asked the father. "Um, not yet. Then the Sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door." "Did you jump then?" asked the father. "I'm getting to that. Everyone else had jumped, and I was the last man left on the 'plane. I told the Sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told me to get off the plane or he'd kick my arse." "So, did you jump?" "Not then. He tried to push me out of the 'plane, but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go. Finally he called over the Jump Master. The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 17 stone. He said to me, 'Boy, are you going to jump or not?' I said, 'No, Sir. I'm too scared.' So the Jump Master pulled down his zip and took his penis out. I swear, it was about ten inches long! He said, 'Boy, either you jump out of that door, or I'm sticking this up your arse.' " "So, did you jump?" asked the father. "Well, a little, at first."


    Sometimes I think the surest sign for intelligent life elsewhere in the universe is that none of them ever tried to contact us.

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    • B Bernhard

      A young man joined the army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he phoned his father to tell him the news. "So, did you jump?" the father asked. "Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the 'plane, and the Sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane" "Is that when you jumped?" asked the father. "Um, not yet. Then the Sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door." "Did you jump then?" asked the father. "I'm getting to that. Everyone else had jumped, and I was the last man left on the 'plane. I told the Sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told me to get off the plane or he'd kick my arse." "So, did you jump?" "Not then. He tried to push me out of the 'plane, but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go. Finally he called over the Jump Master. The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 17 stone. He said to me, 'Boy, are you going to jump or not?' I said, 'No, Sir. I'm too scared.' So the Jump Master pulled down his zip and took his penis out. I swear, it was about ten inches long! He said, 'Boy, either you jump out of that door, or I'm sticking this up your arse.' " "So, did you jump?" asked the father. "Well, a little, at first."


      Sometimes I think the surest sign for intelligent life elsewhere in the universe is that none of them ever tried to contact us.

      D Offline
      D Offline
      David Wulff
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Bernhard wrote: "So, did you jump?" asked the father. "Well, a little, at first." I should think so! It is always difficult your first few times. :suss: ____________________ David Wulff Met a girl, thought she was grand fell in love, found out first hand went well for a week or two then I found out she eats poo - She Hates Me by Puddle of Mudd (modified)

      PJ ArendsP 1 Reply Last reply
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      • D David Wulff

        Bernhard wrote: "So, did you jump?" asked the father. "Well, a little, at first." I should think so! It is always difficult your first few times. :suss: ____________________ David Wulff Met a girl, thought she was grand fell in love, found out first hand went well for a week or two then I found out she eats poo - She Hates Me by Puddle of Mudd (modified)

        PJ ArendsP Offline
        PJ ArendsP Offline
        PJ Arends
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        David Wulff wrote: It is always difficult your first few times Speaking from experience, David?:omg: --- CPUA 0x5041 Sonork 100.11743 Chicken Little It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

        Within you lies the power for good; Use it!

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        • B Bernhard

          A young man joined the army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he phoned his father to tell him the news. "So, did you jump?" the father asked. "Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the 'plane, and the Sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane" "Is that when you jumped?" asked the father. "Um, not yet. Then the Sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door." "Did you jump then?" asked the father. "I'm getting to that. Everyone else had jumped, and I was the last man left on the 'plane. I told the Sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told me to get off the plane or he'd kick my arse." "So, did you jump?" "Not then. He tried to push me out of the 'plane, but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go. Finally he called over the Jump Master. The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 17 stone. He said to me, 'Boy, are you going to jump or not?' I said, 'No, Sir. I'm too scared.' So the Jump Master pulled down his zip and took his penis out. I swear, it was about ten inches long! He said, 'Boy, either you jump out of that door, or I'm sticking this up your arse.' " "So, did you jump?" asked the father. "Well, a little, at first."


          Sometimes I think the surest sign for intelligent life elsewhere in the universe is that none of them ever tried to contact us.

          C Offline
          C Offline
          ColinDavies
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          Ouch ! Regardz Colin J Davies

          Sonork ID 100.9197:Colin

          I think it's interesting that we often qu-ote each other in our sigs and attribute the qu-otes to "The Lounge". --- Daniel Fergusson, "The Lounge"

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • B Bernhard

            A young man joined the army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he phoned his father to tell him the news. "So, did you jump?" the father asked. "Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the 'plane, and the Sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane" "Is that when you jumped?" asked the father. "Um, not yet. Then the Sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door." "Did you jump then?" asked the father. "I'm getting to that. Everyone else had jumped, and I was the last man left on the 'plane. I told the Sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told me to get off the plane or he'd kick my arse." "So, did you jump?" "Not then. He tried to push me out of the 'plane, but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go. Finally he called over the Jump Master. The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 17 stone. He said to me, 'Boy, are you going to jump or not?' I said, 'No, Sir. I'm too scared.' So the Jump Master pulled down his zip and took his penis out. I swear, it was about ten inches long! He said, 'Boy, either you jump out of that door, or I'm sticking this up your arse.' " "So, did you jump?" asked the father. "Well, a little, at first."


            Sometimes I think the surest sign for intelligent life elsewhere in the universe is that none of them ever tried to contact us.

            L Offline
            L Offline
            Lost User
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            PUKE X| X| X| X| X| X| X| X| X| X|

            M 1 Reply Last reply
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            • PJ ArendsP PJ Arends

              David Wulff wrote: It is always difficult your first few times Speaking from experience, David?:omg: --- CPUA 0x5041 Sonork 100.11743 Chicken Little It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

              D Offline
              D Offline
              David Wulff
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              So what if I am? ____________________ David Wulff Met a girl, thought she was grand fell in love, found out first hand went well for a week or two then I found out she likes to eat poo - She Hates Me by Puddle of Mudd (modified)

              L PJ ArendsP 2 Replies Last reply
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              • D David Wulff

                So what if I am? ____________________ David Wulff Met a girl, thought she was grand fell in love, found out first hand went well for a week or two then I found out she likes to eat poo - She Hates Me by Puddle of Mudd (modified)

                L Offline
                L Offline
                Lost User
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                :eek: ...except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish

                D 1 Reply Last reply
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                • L Lost User

                  :eek: ...except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish

                  D Offline
                  D Offline
                  David Wulff
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  Anonymous wrote: ...except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish Was that a quote you were throwing at me, or your signature? If it is the former, go find a field. ____________________ David Wulff Met a girl, thought she was grand fell in love, found out first hand went well for a week or two then I found out she likes to eat poo - She Hates Me by Puddle of Mudd (modified)

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • D David Wulff

                    So what if I am? ____________________ David Wulff Met a girl, thought she was grand fell in love, found out first hand went well for a week or two then I found out she likes to eat poo - She Hates Me by Puddle of Mudd (modified)

                    PJ ArendsP Offline
                    PJ ArendsP Offline
                    PJ Arends
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    It's a joke David, you can do what ever you want. --- CPUA 0x5041 Sonork 100.11743 Chicken Little It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

                    Within you lies the power for good; Use it!

                    D 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • L Lost User

                      PUKE X| X| X| X| X| X| X| X| X| X|

                      M Offline
                      M Offline
                      Michael P Butler
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      ? It wasn't that bad a joke. Quiet funny, compared to some of the stuff posted. Michael :-)

                      L 1 Reply Last reply
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                      • PJ ArendsP PJ Arends

                        It's a joke David, you can do what ever you want. --- CPUA 0x5041 Sonork 100.11743 Chicken Little It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

                        D Offline
                        D Offline
                        David Wulff
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        I was going to crack a joke about having just met the first open minded American... then I realised you were from Canada. ;P ____________________ David Wulff Met a girl, thought she was grand fell in love, found out first hand went well for a week or two then I found out she likes to eat poo - She Hates Me by Puddle of Mudd (modified)

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                        • M Michael P Butler

                          ? It wasn't that bad a joke. Quiet funny, compared to some of the stuff posted. Michael :-)

                          L Offline
                          L Offline
                          Lost User
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          It isn't a bad joke but bit vulgur though . Maybe the the rating is too bad even for R&R.:-D

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