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  4. in these heartless times: JOTD

in these heartless times: JOTD

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Back Room
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  • B Offline
    B Offline
    Bernhard
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    chris m. pondering that the lounge got to hard, i have got a small joke for y'all out there.. (and if you know the joke already.. then you are the best guy in this whole universe, but i am not interested in that.. because there may be people out there who don't know him.. in this topic i am VERY sensitive.. like nish when he's talking bout the ratings of his articles.. or big monitors) :-D Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newly-wed couple wanted to join a church. The priest said, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks." The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked, "Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?" The old man replied, "No problem at all, Priest." "Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the priest. The priest went to the middle-aged couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?" The middle-aged man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yep we made it." "Congratulations! Welcome to the church," said the priest. The priest then went to the newly-wed couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?" "No Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied sadly. "What happened?" inquired the priest "My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it" said the young man. "When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there." "You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church" stated the priest. "We know," said the young man, we're not welcome at the Supermarket anymore either"


    Sometimes I think the surest sign for intelligent life elsewhere in the universe is that none of them ever tried to contact us.

    R N D I 4 Replies Last reply
    0
    • B Bernhard

      chris m. pondering that the lounge got to hard, i have got a small joke for y'all out there.. (and if you know the joke already.. then you are the best guy in this whole universe, but i am not interested in that.. because there may be people out there who don't know him.. in this topic i am VERY sensitive.. like nish when he's talking bout the ratings of his articles.. or big monitors) :-D Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newly-wed couple wanted to join a church. The priest said, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks." The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked, "Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?" The old man replied, "No problem at all, Priest." "Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the priest. The priest went to the middle-aged couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?" The middle-aged man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yep we made it." "Congratulations! Welcome to the church," said the priest. The priest then went to the newly-wed couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?" "No Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied sadly. "What happened?" inquired the priest "My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it" said the young man. "When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there." "You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church" stated the priest. "We know," said the young man, we're not welcome at the Supermarket anymore either"


      Sometimes I think the surest sign for intelligent life elsewhere in the universe is that none of them ever tried to contact us.

      R Offline
      R Offline
      Roger Allen
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      I did know it. So I am the bested guy in the whole universe! Roger Allen Sonork 100.10016 yet to be identified being from the planet Paltinmoriumbanfrettybooter

      B 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • B Bernhard

        chris m. pondering that the lounge got to hard, i have got a small joke for y'all out there.. (and if you know the joke already.. then you are the best guy in this whole universe, but i am not interested in that.. because there may be people out there who don't know him.. in this topic i am VERY sensitive.. like nish when he's talking bout the ratings of his articles.. or big monitors) :-D Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newly-wed couple wanted to join a church. The priest said, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks." The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked, "Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?" The old man replied, "No problem at all, Priest." "Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the priest. The priest went to the middle-aged couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?" The middle-aged man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yep we made it." "Congratulations! Welcome to the church," said the priest. The priest then went to the newly-wed couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?" "No Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied sadly. "What happened?" inquired the priest "My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it" said the young man. "When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there." "You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church" stated the priest. "We know," said the young man, we're not welcome at the Supermarket anymore either"


        Sometimes I think the surest sign for intelligent life elsewhere in the universe is that none of them ever tried to contact us.

        N Offline
        N Offline
        Nish Nishant
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        Hmmmm. Good one. Nish :-)


        The rumours that I am an AI bot are absolutely false. These rumours have been propogated by *them* to focus all the attention on to me, while *their* bots take over the planet. Thank y%%%% Divide by zero. Cannot proceed. Abort(y/y)?

        B 1 Reply Last reply
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        • R Roger Allen

          I did know it. So I am the bested guy in the whole universe! Roger Allen Sonork 100.10016 yet to be identified being from the planet Paltinmoriumbanfrettybooter

          B Offline
          B Offline
          Bernhard
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          okay.. if you send a letter with your address to this address you get a "yes y'all i am roger and the best guy in the whole universe plus the best lover" t- shirt... Your Girlfriend's Porn Site 666 Everyone Knows Her Street. Moron, UR 49309 USA (i know i have stolen this joke.. but i like it)


          Sometimes I think the surest sign for intelligent life elsewhere in the universe is that none of them ever tried to contact us.

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • N Nish Nishant

            Hmmmm. Good one. Nish :-)


            The rumours that I am an AI bot are absolutely false. These rumours have been propogated by *them* to focus all the attention on to me, while *their* bots take over the planet. Thank y%%%% Divide by zero. Cannot proceed. Abort(y/y)?

            B Offline
            B Offline
            Bernhard
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            why hmmm?


            Sometimes I think the surest sign for intelligent life elsewhere in the universe is that none of them ever tried to contact us.

            R 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • B Bernhard

              chris m. pondering that the lounge got to hard, i have got a small joke for y'all out there.. (and if you know the joke already.. then you are the best guy in this whole universe, but i am not interested in that.. because there may be people out there who don't know him.. in this topic i am VERY sensitive.. like nish when he's talking bout the ratings of his articles.. or big monitors) :-D Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newly-wed couple wanted to join a church. The priest said, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks." The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked, "Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?" The old man replied, "No problem at all, Priest." "Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the priest. The priest went to the middle-aged couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?" The middle-aged man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yep we made it." "Congratulations! Welcome to the church," said the priest. The priest then went to the newly-wed couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?" "No Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied sadly. "What happened?" inquired the priest "My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it" said the young man. "When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there." "You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church" stated the priest. "We know," said the young man, we're not welcome at the Supermarket anymore either"


              Sometimes I think the surest sign for intelligent life elsewhere in the universe is that none of them ever tried to contact us.

              D Offline
              D Offline
              Dan Pomerchik
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              lol :-) nice one - Dan "Intel inside - Idiot outside"

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • B Bernhard

                why hmmm?


                Sometimes I think the surest sign for intelligent life elsewhere in the universe is that none of them ever tried to contact us.

                R Offline
                R Offline
                Roger Allen
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                What he means is "heard it before, I am the beted man in the world, but I am too modest to say so". ;P Roger Allen Sonork 100.10016 yet to be identified being from the planet Paltinmoriumbanfrettybooter

                B 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • R Roger Allen

                  What he means is "heard it before, I am the beted man in the world, but I am too modest to say so". ;P Roger Allen Sonork 100.10016 yet to be identified being from the planet Paltinmoriumbanfrettybooter

                  B Offline
                  B Offline
                  Bernhard
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  I KNEW IT HAD TO BE SOMETHING USEFUL.. thanks for the explanation..


                  Sometimes I think the surest sign for intelligent life elsewhere in the universe is that none of them ever tried to contact us.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • B Bernhard

                    chris m. pondering that the lounge got to hard, i have got a small joke for y'all out there.. (and if you know the joke already.. then you are the best guy in this whole universe, but i am not interested in that.. because there may be people out there who don't know him.. in this topic i am VERY sensitive.. like nish when he's talking bout the ratings of his articles.. or big monitors) :-D Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newly-wed couple wanted to join a church. The priest said, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks." The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked, "Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?" The old man replied, "No problem at all, Priest." "Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the priest. The priest went to the middle-aged couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?" The middle-aged man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yep we made it." "Congratulations! Welcome to the church," said the priest. The priest then went to the newly-wed couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?" "No Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied sadly. "What happened?" inquired the priest "My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it" said the young man. "When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there." "You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church" stated the priest. "We know," said the young man, we're not welcome at the Supermarket anymore either"


                    Sometimes I think the surest sign for intelligent life elsewhere in the universe is that none of them ever tried to contact us.

                    I Offline
                    I Offline
                    ISIS55
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    Sweet :-D Isaac Sasson, Lean, mean posting machine! Sonork ID 100.13704

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