So long
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And thanks for all the fish. I wouldn't call it depression, although some might. I just get to the point where I need a substantial change. Hell, at the bottom of one of my cycles, I started applying for jobs as a technical writer. I was really fucked up. I have an extremely short attention span. I'm a Pisces. When things start to get dull, I start looking for other things to do. I'm a project-oriented person, with eyes bigger than my mouth so to speak. I always have something on the go. A web site I'm building. I gigantic software package I've designed and only partly built. Half-painted model airplanes. A partly built workshop in my garage. Bits of computers scattered all over my office at home just waiting for me to have the energy and interest to bring them back to life. Bookmarks in literally dozens of books - programming, fiction, religion and philosophy. I am Jack's lack of committment. I've been on this job for a year now. I lasted 4 months at my previous job. I quit before a) I went completely fuckin nuts and killed every one of them and b) they closed up the Canadian office because no one wanted to buy their crappy product. A whole year. I'm dying. I haven't had to be creative out here for months. Sure, I've had challenges. I learned DCOM. I learned Python. And believe it or not, I'm learning love and humility and patience. I'm a Pisces and hence a dreamer, and an overly emotional person who has trouble following through on things. And while we're stereotyping, I've found that in order to be a software developer, you have to have a gigantic ego. Take me for instance. I am completely intollerant of stupidity. Stupidity is, of course, anything that doesn't conform to my way of thinking. It's not that I'm always right. I know I'm not the smartest person around. It's just that I haven't yet found someone to work with that's better than me. Someone from whom I can learn rather than mentor. Rather than resent. Is that an ego? Or is that an ego? Now I'm not the only one. If others weren't exactly the same way - that is, if others recognized their place beneath me - then I wouldn't have issues. Everything would be just fine. But no. I seem to been unable to avoid working with developers who have egos just as huge as me. They have the nerve to cast aside my suggestions in favour of their own decisions. Three words. What the fuck? Don't they realize they're idiots? Don't they feel the warmth of enlightenment just sitting in the same room as me? For years, I've been able to justif
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And thanks for all the fish. I wouldn't call it depression, although some might. I just get to the point where I need a substantial change. Hell, at the bottom of one of my cycles, I started applying for jobs as a technical writer. I was really fucked up. I have an extremely short attention span. I'm a Pisces. When things start to get dull, I start looking for other things to do. I'm a project-oriented person, with eyes bigger than my mouth so to speak. I always have something on the go. A web site I'm building. I gigantic software package I've designed and only partly built. Half-painted model airplanes. A partly built workshop in my garage. Bits of computers scattered all over my office at home just waiting for me to have the energy and interest to bring them back to life. Bookmarks in literally dozens of books - programming, fiction, religion and philosophy. I am Jack's lack of committment. I've been on this job for a year now. I lasted 4 months at my previous job. I quit before a) I went completely fuckin nuts and killed every one of them and b) they closed up the Canadian office because no one wanted to buy their crappy product. A whole year. I'm dying. I haven't had to be creative out here for months. Sure, I've had challenges. I learned DCOM. I learned Python. And believe it or not, I'm learning love and humility and patience. I'm a Pisces and hence a dreamer, and an overly emotional person who has trouble following through on things. And while we're stereotyping, I've found that in order to be a software developer, you have to have a gigantic ego. Take me for instance. I am completely intollerant of stupidity. Stupidity is, of course, anything that doesn't conform to my way of thinking. It's not that I'm always right. I know I'm not the smartest person around. It's just that I haven't yet found someone to work with that's better than me. Someone from whom I can learn rather than mentor. Rather than resent. Is that an ego? Or is that an ego? Now I'm not the only one. If others weren't exactly the same way - that is, if others recognized their place beneath me - then I wouldn't have issues. Everything would be just fine. But no. I seem to been unable to avoid working with developers who have egos just as huge as me. They have the nerve to cast aside my suggestions in favour of their own decisions. Three words. What the fuck? Don't they realize they're idiots? Don't they feel the warmth of enlightenment just sitting in the same room as me? For years, I've been able to justif
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And thanks for all the fish. I wouldn't call it depression, although some might. I just get to the point where I need a substantial change. Hell, at the bottom of one of my cycles, I started applying for jobs as a technical writer. I was really fucked up. I have an extremely short attention span. I'm a Pisces. When things start to get dull, I start looking for other things to do. I'm a project-oriented person, with eyes bigger than my mouth so to speak. I always have something on the go. A web site I'm building. I gigantic software package I've designed and only partly built. Half-painted model airplanes. A partly built workshop in my garage. Bits of computers scattered all over my office at home just waiting for me to have the energy and interest to bring them back to life. Bookmarks in literally dozens of books - programming, fiction, religion and philosophy. I am Jack's lack of committment. I've been on this job for a year now. I lasted 4 months at my previous job. I quit before a) I went completely fuckin nuts and killed every one of them and b) they closed up the Canadian office because no one wanted to buy their crappy product. A whole year. I'm dying. I haven't had to be creative out here for months. Sure, I've had challenges. I learned DCOM. I learned Python. And believe it or not, I'm learning love and humility and patience. I'm a Pisces and hence a dreamer, and an overly emotional person who has trouble following through on things. And while we're stereotyping, I've found that in order to be a software developer, you have to have a gigantic ego. Take me for instance. I am completely intollerant of stupidity. Stupidity is, of course, anything that doesn't conform to my way of thinking. It's not that I'm always right. I know I'm not the smartest person around. It's just that I haven't yet found someone to work with that's better than me. Someone from whom I can learn rather than mentor. Rather than resent. Is that an ego? Or is that an ego? Now I'm not the only one. If others weren't exactly the same way - that is, if others recognized their place beneath me - then I wouldn't have issues. Everything would be just fine. But no. I seem to been unable to avoid working with developers who have egos just as huge as me. They have the nerve to cast aside my suggestions in favour of their own decisions. Three words. What the fuck? Don't they realize they're idiots? Don't they feel the warmth of enlightenment just sitting in the same room as me? For years, I've been able to justif
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And thanks for all the fish. I wouldn't call it depression, although some might. I just get to the point where I need a substantial change. Hell, at the bottom of one of my cycles, I started applying for jobs as a technical writer. I was really fucked up. I have an extremely short attention span. I'm a Pisces. When things start to get dull, I start looking for other things to do. I'm a project-oriented person, with eyes bigger than my mouth so to speak. I always have something on the go. A web site I'm building. I gigantic software package I've designed and only partly built. Half-painted model airplanes. A partly built workshop in my garage. Bits of computers scattered all over my office at home just waiting for me to have the energy and interest to bring them back to life. Bookmarks in literally dozens of books - programming, fiction, religion and philosophy. I am Jack's lack of committment. I've been on this job for a year now. I lasted 4 months at my previous job. I quit before a) I went completely fuckin nuts and killed every one of them and b) they closed up the Canadian office because no one wanted to buy their crappy product. A whole year. I'm dying. I haven't had to be creative out here for months. Sure, I've had challenges. I learned DCOM. I learned Python. And believe it or not, I'm learning love and humility and patience. I'm a Pisces and hence a dreamer, and an overly emotional person who has trouble following through on things. And while we're stereotyping, I've found that in order to be a software developer, you have to have a gigantic ego. Take me for instance. I am completely intollerant of stupidity. Stupidity is, of course, anything that doesn't conform to my way of thinking. It's not that I'm always right. I know I'm not the smartest person around. It's just that I haven't yet found someone to work with that's better than me. Someone from whom I can learn rather than mentor. Rather than resent. Is that an ego? Or is that an ego? Now I'm not the only one. If others weren't exactly the same way - that is, if others recognized their place beneath me - then I wouldn't have issues. Everything would be just fine. But no. I seem to been unable to avoid working with developers who have egos just as huge as me. They have the nerve to cast aside my suggestions in favour of their own decisions. Three words. What the fuck? Don't they realize they're idiots? Don't they feel the warmth of enlightenment just sitting in the same room as me? For years, I've been able to justif
have you ever considered taking some vacation ? I think that most of your impatience and lack of motivation is probably caused by stress. Mauricio Ritter - Brazil Sonorking now: 100.13560 Trank :beer: The alcohol is one of the greatest enemys of man, but a man who flee from his enemys is a coward. :beer:
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And thanks for all the fish. I wouldn't call it depression, although some might. I just get to the point where I need a substantial change. Hell, at the bottom of one of my cycles, I started applying for jobs as a technical writer. I was really fucked up. I have an extremely short attention span. I'm a Pisces. When things start to get dull, I start looking for other things to do. I'm a project-oriented person, with eyes bigger than my mouth so to speak. I always have something on the go. A web site I'm building. I gigantic software package I've designed and only partly built. Half-painted model airplanes. A partly built workshop in my garage. Bits of computers scattered all over my office at home just waiting for me to have the energy and interest to bring them back to life. Bookmarks in literally dozens of books - programming, fiction, religion and philosophy. I am Jack's lack of committment. I've been on this job for a year now. I lasted 4 months at my previous job. I quit before a) I went completely fuckin nuts and killed every one of them and b) they closed up the Canadian office because no one wanted to buy their crappy product. A whole year. I'm dying. I haven't had to be creative out here for months. Sure, I've had challenges. I learned DCOM. I learned Python. And believe it or not, I'm learning love and humility and patience. I'm a Pisces and hence a dreamer, and an overly emotional person who has trouble following through on things. And while we're stereotyping, I've found that in order to be a software developer, you have to have a gigantic ego. Take me for instance. I am completely intollerant of stupidity. Stupidity is, of course, anything that doesn't conform to my way of thinking. It's not that I'm always right. I know I'm not the smartest person around. It's just that I haven't yet found someone to work with that's better than me. Someone from whom I can learn rather than mentor. Rather than resent. Is that an ego? Or is that an ego? Now I'm not the only one. If others weren't exactly the same way - that is, if others recognized their place beneath me - then I wouldn't have issues. Everything would be just fine. But no. I seem to been unable to avoid working with developers who have egos just as huge as me. They have the nerve to cast aside my suggestions in favour of their own decisions. Three words. What the fuck? Don't they realize they're idiots? Don't they feel the warmth of enlightenment just sitting in the same room as me? For years, I've been able to justif
Get a life.;P ;P Drinking In The Sun Forgot Password?
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And thanks for all the fish. I wouldn't call it depression, although some might. I just get to the point where I need a substantial change. Hell, at the bottom of one of my cycles, I started applying for jobs as a technical writer. I was really fucked up. I have an extremely short attention span. I'm a Pisces. When things start to get dull, I start looking for other things to do. I'm a project-oriented person, with eyes bigger than my mouth so to speak. I always have something on the go. A web site I'm building. I gigantic software package I've designed and only partly built. Half-painted model airplanes. A partly built workshop in my garage. Bits of computers scattered all over my office at home just waiting for me to have the energy and interest to bring them back to life. Bookmarks in literally dozens of books - programming, fiction, religion and philosophy. I am Jack's lack of committment. I've been on this job for a year now. I lasted 4 months at my previous job. I quit before a) I went completely fuckin nuts and killed every one of them and b) they closed up the Canadian office because no one wanted to buy their crappy product. A whole year. I'm dying. I haven't had to be creative out here for months. Sure, I've had challenges. I learned DCOM. I learned Python. And believe it or not, I'm learning love and humility and patience. I'm a Pisces and hence a dreamer, and an overly emotional person who has trouble following through on things. And while we're stereotyping, I've found that in order to be a software developer, you have to have a gigantic ego. Take me for instance. I am completely intollerant of stupidity. Stupidity is, of course, anything that doesn't conform to my way of thinking. It's not that I'm always right. I know I'm not the smartest person around. It's just that I haven't yet found someone to work with that's better than me. Someone from whom I can learn rather than mentor. Rather than resent. Is that an ego? Or is that an ego? Now I'm not the only one. If others weren't exactly the same way - that is, if others recognized their place beneath me - then I wouldn't have issues. Everything would be just fine. But no. I seem to been unable to avoid working with developers who have egos just as huge as me. They have the nerve to cast aside my suggestions in favour of their own decisions. Three words. What the fuck? Don't they realize they're idiots? Don't they feel the warmth of enlightenment just sitting in the same room as me? For years, I've been able to justif
Ever thought of being a writer? Come back Jamie! We do care (well some times), but the road to enlightenment is through self recognition, so I guess this is something you just have to do. Roger Allen Sonork 100.10016 If I had a quote, it would be a very good one.
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Good luck on your journey, whereever it may take you. :rose: --------
You can change the extention so it reads ASP even though it is PHP which is kind of cool. - Martin Marvinski
--Shog9 --
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And thanks for all the fish. I wouldn't call it depression, although some might. I just get to the point where I need a substantial change. Hell, at the bottom of one of my cycles, I started applying for jobs as a technical writer. I was really fucked up. I have an extremely short attention span. I'm a Pisces. When things start to get dull, I start looking for other things to do. I'm a project-oriented person, with eyes bigger than my mouth so to speak. I always have something on the go. A web site I'm building. I gigantic software package I've designed and only partly built. Half-painted model airplanes. A partly built workshop in my garage. Bits of computers scattered all over my office at home just waiting for me to have the energy and interest to bring them back to life. Bookmarks in literally dozens of books - programming, fiction, religion and philosophy. I am Jack's lack of committment. I've been on this job for a year now. I lasted 4 months at my previous job. I quit before a) I went completely fuckin nuts and killed every one of them and b) they closed up the Canadian office because no one wanted to buy their crappy product. A whole year. I'm dying. I haven't had to be creative out here for months. Sure, I've had challenges. I learned DCOM. I learned Python. And believe it or not, I'm learning love and humility and patience. I'm a Pisces and hence a dreamer, and an overly emotional person who has trouble following through on things. And while we're stereotyping, I've found that in order to be a software developer, you have to have a gigantic ego. Take me for instance. I am completely intollerant of stupidity. Stupidity is, of course, anything that doesn't conform to my way of thinking. It's not that I'm always right. I know I'm not the smartest person around. It's just that I haven't yet found someone to work with that's better than me. Someone from whom I can learn rather than mentor. Rather than resent. Is that an ego? Or is that an ego? Now I'm not the only one. If others weren't exactly the same way - that is, if others recognized their place beneath me - then I wouldn't have issues. Everything would be just fine. But no. I seem to been unable to avoid working with developers who have egos just as huge as me. They have the nerve to cast aside my suggestions in favour of their own decisions. Three words. What the fuck? Don't they realize they're idiots? Don't they feel the warmth of enlightenment just sitting in the same room as me? For years, I've been able to justif
I understand on so many levels what you're saying. I used to be the same way about having people touch my code, thinking I'm always right, thinking I'm better, etc. about a year ago. For me, it was some ego, but the real reason was I had anger issues I needed to deal with. I was angry at the world, and in the end I was the most miserable for letting things eat away at me. For one, I think you have exercised your intelligence by identifying all of this. Kudos for being mature enough to be willing to make a change. Do your soul searching because when you know your soul and heart you'll find out how to make your days brighter. How important is it to you to wake up in the mornings and be able to smile about it? It’s everything in the world to me. As far as the physical exercise. Keep it up man. Getting into shape has got to be the most rewarding thing you can do for yourself IMHO. I never leave the gym in a bad mood and always feel better after sports and jogging. Exercise is the best way to relieve anger and stress IMO. This will be key to finding what you are looking for because anger will not cloud your thoughts as much. Also, if you live in a suburban area or similar, try walking or jogging too. Being out in the sun and seeing nature in its glory while listening to music is extremely therapeutic. I started taking the journey you're taking last July. I used to weigh 337 pounds, hated everything, didn't trust women, etc. and even tried killing myself because I was miserable. I changed the inside. I changed the outside. I changed my life. Cheers to you for wanting this also. It is now May (almost June), and I weigh 230 pounds with way more muscle and less fat than even in my glory days (I have a flat stomach this time.). I no longer hate everything. It's been a bumpy road because the people I knew back then all changed. I had one friend go gay on me, another hated me because his wife started looking twice, and an old acquaintance willing to hang out with me more now because I can pull chicks these days. Just remember to stay strong on the inside if you notice your surroundings change. End the end; they will look better. I'd like to recommend a song that has helped sooth me at times. It's called, "Cool Change" by the Little River Band. I hope you like it as well. Jeremy L. Falcon Homepage : Sonork = 100.16311
Perseverance pushes past painful promenades - providing precious peace. Surely som