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  4. Sweet sweet Mary (** Homer drool **)

Sweet sweet Mary (** Homer drool **)

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Back Room
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  • D Offline
    D Offline
    David Wulff
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    Mary had a little lamb, she also had a duck. She put them in the pen one day, to see if they would play.


    David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk

    One 18yrs male, red and white, good condition; daily servicing required. £500 collect ono.

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    • D David Wulff

      Mary had a little lamb, she also had a duck. She put them in the pen one day, to see if they would play.


      David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk

      One 18yrs male, red and white, good condition; daily servicing required. £500 collect ono.

      U Offline
      U Offline
      User 79271
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Mary had a little sheep, and with this sheep she went to sleep, Now Mary has a little ram. Drinking In The Sun Forgot Password?

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      • D David Wulff

        Mary had a little lamb, she also had a duck. She put them in the pen one day, to see if they would play.


        David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk

        One 18yrs male, red and white, good condition; daily servicing required. £500 collect ono.

        R Offline
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        Roger Allen
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        Mary had a little lamb, Her father shot it dead, Now she takes it to school, Between 2 slices of bread! Roger Allen Sonork 100.10016 If I had a quote, it would be a very good one.

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        • D David Wulff

          Mary had a little lamb, she also had a duck. She put them in the pen one day, to see if they would play.


          David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk

          One 18yrs male, red and white, good condition; daily servicing required. £500 collect ono.

          L Offline
          L Offline
          Lost User
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          Here's one I remember from school: Mary had a little lamb, She took it into Reading, She took it down an alleyway, And kicked its f***ing head in. Groan.


          Go carbon neutral!

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          • D David Wulff

            Mary had a little lamb, she also had a duck. She put them in the pen one day, to see if they would play.


            David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk

            One 18yrs male, red and white, good condition; daily servicing required. £500 collect ono.

            M Offline
            M Offline
            Michael P Butler
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            Mary had a little lamb, she also had a bear, I've often seen her little lamb, but never seen her bare. Michael :-) Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana

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            • D David Wulff

              Mary had a little lamb, she also had a duck. She put them in the pen one day, to see if they would play.


              David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk

              One 18yrs male, red and white, good condition; daily servicing required. £500 collect ono.

              S Offline
              S Offline
              Simon Walton
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              That doesn't rhyme!?!?!?!?! Mary had a little lamb, It had a touch of colic. She gave it brandy twice a day And now it has a drink problem. Beat that! Simon "This is an equal opportunities airline. The pilot is blind." Sonork ID 100.10024

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              • S Simon Walton

                That doesn't rhyme!?!?!?!?! Mary had a little lamb, It had a touch of colic. She gave it brandy twice a day And now it has a drink problem. Beat that! Simon "This is an equal opportunities airline. The pilot is blind." Sonork ID 100.10024

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                Paul Watson
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                Simon Walton wrote: That doesn't rhyme!?!?!?!?! Simon Walton wrote: Beat that! How does "drink problem" rhyme with "colic"? Unless you are drunk it doesn't. Or am I missing something? Mary had a little lamb, It had a touch of colic. She gave it brandy twice a day, And now it is an alcoholic. Is that what you meant? regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass Cape Town, South Africa

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                • P Paul Watson

                  Simon Walton wrote: That doesn't rhyme!?!?!?!?! Simon Walton wrote: Beat that! How does "drink problem" rhyme with "colic"? Unless you are drunk it doesn't. Or am I missing something? Mary had a little lamb, It had a touch of colic. She gave it brandy twice a day, And now it is an alcoholic. Is that what you meant? regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass Cape Town, South Africa

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                  Simon Walton
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  Paul Watson wrote: Is that what you meant? Yup, it was part of the joke! I took out the part that made it rhyme with something similar but non-rhyming. Gosh Paul, get on the ball! Hey! I'm a poet and I haven't realised! Simon "This is an equal opportunities airline. The pilot is blind." Sonork ID 100.10024

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                  • S Simon Walton

                    Paul Watson wrote: Is that what you meant? Yup, it was part of the joke! I took out the part that made it rhyme with something similar but non-rhyming. Gosh Paul, get on the ball! Hey! I'm a poet and I haven't realised! Simon "This is an equal opportunities airline. The pilot is blind." Sonork ID 100.10024

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                    Roger Allen
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    Reminds me of the lyrics to the old folk song about the mole catcher who comes home to find his wife in bed with another man... He sneaked up in the middle of their frollicks, and grabbed him by his.......knees! Roger Allen Sonork 100.10016 He dodges, he weaves, and he never gets enough sleep. He is kind to small animals. - Chris maunder. You can tell from his picture he doesn't sleep, and what kind of things does he weave?

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                    • D David Wulff

                      Mary had a little lamb, she also had a duck. She put them in the pen one day, to see if they would play.


                      David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk

                      One 18yrs male, red and white, good condition; daily servicing required. £500 collect ono.

                      A Offline
                      A Offline
                      Anonymous
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      Rock-a-bye baby in a soft crib When the time comes The cradle will shake. When the dam breaks, The cradle will flood, And down will come baby, Cradle and all. (repeat) Down will come baby, Cradle and all. :zzz:

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                      • D David Wulff

                        Mary had a little lamb, she also had a duck. She put them in the pen one day, to see if they would play.


                        David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk

                        One 18yrs male, red and white, good condition; daily servicing required. £500 collect ono.

                        J Offline
                        J Offline
                        Jeremy Falcon
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        How 'bout this? Mary had a little lamb, who could eat her like a hog. The lamb never knew what is was, because she fucked it like a dog. - Jeremy original Jeremy Falcon Imputek "C# is the answer to a question nobody asked." - Chris Losinger

                        P 1 Reply Last reply
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                        • D David Wulff

                          Mary had a little lamb, she also had a duck. She put them in the pen one day, to see if they would play.


                          David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk

                          One 18yrs male, red and white, good condition; daily servicing required. £500 collect ono.

                          J Offline
                          J Offline
                          Jeremy Falcon
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          This stuff reminds me of a parody Christmas CD I wrote a couple years ago. Here's one of my favorite songs. It's a parody of "Away in a Manger." This an excerpt because so many freakin' people steal shit these days I won't let the whole thing go unless I get legal crap dealt with first. :| You have to say/sing it to the theme of the real song. Away With a Stranger Away with a stranger, no Joseph in bed. Our little miss Mary gave someone good head. She couldn't tell Joseph that she had been laid. She made up a story; still believe it today. The lord above said this woman's crazy. How could she have sex and then blame it on me? The gullible people believed Mary's tale. And, if you deny it you're going to hell. - Jeremy original Jeremy Falcon Imputek "C# is the answer to a question nobody asked." - Chris Losinger

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                          • J Jeremy Falcon

                            How 'bout this? Mary had a little lamb, who could eat her like a hog. The lamb never knew what is was, because she fucked it like a dog. - Jeremy original Jeremy Falcon Imputek "C# is the answer to a question nobody asked." - Chris Losinger

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                            P Offline
                            Paul Watson
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            Jeremy Falcon wrote: - Jeremy original Man, you are in touch with both your sensitive new-age side and your biker-dude woman-get-my-beer side. :rolleyes: Still I have hope, I believe in you Jeremy. You can do it! ;P regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass Cape Town, South Africa

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                            • P Paul Watson

                              Jeremy Falcon wrote: - Jeremy original Man, you are in touch with both your sensitive new-age side and your biker-dude woman-get-my-beer side. :rolleyes: Still I have hope, I believe in you Jeremy. You can do it! ;P regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass Cape Town, South Africa

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                              Jeremy Falcon
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              Paul Watson wrote: Still I have hope, I believe in you Jeremy. You can do it! ROFLMAO! Well, that makes one of us. :laugh: Jeremy Falcon Imputek "C# is the answer to a question nobody asked." - Chris Losinger

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                              • A Anonymous

                                Rock-a-bye baby in a soft crib When the time comes The cradle will shake. When the dam breaks, The cradle will flood, And down will come baby, Cradle and all. (repeat) Down will come baby, Cradle and all. :zzz:

                                A Offline
                                A Offline
                                Anonymous
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                It's called woman on top position.

                                S 1 Reply Last reply
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                                • S Simon Walton

                                  Paul Watson wrote: Is that what you meant? Yup, it was part of the joke! I took out the part that made it rhyme with something similar but non-rhyming. Gosh Paul, get on the ball! Hey! I'm a poet and I haven't realised! Simon "This is an equal opportunities airline. The pilot is blind." Sonork ID 100.10024

                                  R Offline
                                  R Offline
                                  Roger Wright
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  Simon Walton wrote: I'm a poet and I haven't realised! "He was a poet, And didn't know it. But his feet show it; They're Longfellows!" "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Recursion." "Recursion who?" "Knock, knock..."

                                  S 1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • J Jeremy Falcon

                                    This stuff reminds me of a parody Christmas CD I wrote a couple years ago. Here's one of my favorite songs. It's a parody of "Away in a Manger." This an excerpt because so many freakin' people steal shit these days I won't let the whole thing go unless I get legal crap dealt with first. :| You have to say/sing it to the theme of the real song. Away With a Stranger Away with a stranger, no Joseph in bed. Our little miss Mary gave someone good head. She couldn't tell Joseph that she had been laid. She made up a story; still believe it today. The lord above said this woman's crazy. How could she have sex and then blame it on me? The gullible people believed Mary's tale. And, if you deny it you're going to hell. - Jeremy original Jeremy Falcon Imputek "C# is the answer to a question nobody asked." - Chris Losinger

                                    R Offline
                                    R Offline
                                    Roger Wright
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    LOL! Works for me:-D Does your collection include "Chipmunks roasting on an open fire..." or "Deck the halls with balls of bikers..."? "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Recursion." "Recursion who?" "Knock, knock..."

                                    J 1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • R Roger Wright

                                      LOL! Works for me:-D Does your collection include "Chipmunks roasting on an open fire..." or "Deck the halls with balls of bikers..."? "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Recursion." "Recursion who?" "Knock, knock..."

                                      J Offline
                                      J Offline
                                      Jeremy Falcon
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #18

                                      Nope, but it did include a parody of Jingle Bells. This one ya have to read into a bit. Jiggle Tits Taking off your clothes, as we're steadily passing by. How our dicks will grow, looking at your thighs. Balls on these guys ache. Making husbands late. We get home, our wives are gone, and then we masturbate. Oh, jiggle tits jiggle tits, that's only way Oh what fun it is to see your titties in my fa-ace. Jiggle tits jiggle tits, that's only way Oh what fun it is to see your titties in my fa-ace. - Jeremy orginal Jeremy Falcon Imputek "C# is the answer to a question nobody asked." - Chris Losinger

                                      R M 2 Replies Last reply
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                                      • R Roger Wright

                                        Simon Walton wrote: I'm a poet and I haven't realised! "He was a poet, And didn't know it. But his feet show it; They're Longfellows!" "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Recursion." "Recursion who?" "Knock, knock..."

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                                        Simon Walton
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #19

                                        Not everyone has my flair for creative writing, Roger. Work really hard at it and one day you may achieve a level of greatness that will at least be comparible to my own. :P Simon "This is an equal opportunities airline. The pilot is blind." Sonork ID 100.10024

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                                        • A Anonymous

                                          It's called woman on top position.

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                                          S Offline
                                          Simon Walton
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #20

                                          No, it's called incest. Simon "This is an equal opportunities airline. The pilot is blind." Sonork ID 100.10024

                                          A 1 Reply Last reply
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