Man points - how to get 'em or lose'em

blackjack2150

This topic has always amused me and right now I could use some laughs. Please imagine and post any deeds that award or take away man points. I'll start with some picked from the web, but I encourage you to be inventive: + Stoking a fire with a stick and causing bigger flames + chopping down a tree with an axe + sharpening a pencil with a knife + digging a big hole manually(without mechanical assistance) + Catching a drink that has fallen off the table. + Using the phrase, “I think I know what I’m doing.” ____________________________________________________ - Lighting a cigarette on the wrong end. - locking someone else's keys in their car. - Keeping track of Man Points. - Using the phrase, “I wasn’t crying.” - Calling your girlfriend/wife.

Dalek Dave

+Reverse Parking into a tiny space that a woman has spent 10mins trying to do before parking somewhere else. +Getting to a destination without stopping to ask directions. +Any Housework done whilst wife is away/ill. +Not doing any housework whilst wife is there/healthy. +Getting an Engineering/Science/Science Fiction Question right in a pub quiz -Taking more than two turns of the wheel to get out of a tight parking space. -Stopping to ask directions. -Doing housework too well that you are expected to make it a regular thing. -Offing to dry if she washes,(ALWAY OPT TO WASH! you can 'leave it to soak'). -Getting a Soap Opera/Celine Dion/Brangelina question right in a pub quiz.

------------------------------------ "The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking of morality by religion" Arthur C Clarke

Oakman

human points +changing a diaper +planning an invasion +butchering a hog +conning a ship +designing a building +writing a sonnet +balancing accounts +building a wall +setting a bone +comforting the dying +taking orders +giving orders +cooperating +acting alone +solving equations +analyzing a new problem +pitching manure +programming a computer +cooking a tasty meal +fighting efficiently +dying gallantly ________________________ -Ripping off Robert Heinlein without giving credit.

Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface

Dalek Dave

Oakman wrote:

dying gallantly

Reminds me of something I read some time ago. Good and Bad ways of Dying. Good Ways... Leading a Heroic, yet suicidal charge into the enemies lines to save the day. Getting hit by Car whilst saving a childs life. Heart attack whilst making love. Shark Attack. Sky Diving. Bad Ways... Anneurism whilst taking a dump. Choking to death whilst engaging in 'experimental' sex. Burning to death after cooking when drunk. Anything involving sheep. Drowning whilst saving dog.

------------------------------------ "The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking of morality by religion" Arthur C Clarke

Stuart Dootson

blackjack2150 wrote:

Using the phrase, “I think I know what I’m doing.”

No, no - you get man points for saying "Of course I know what I'm doing"

Dalek Dave

If at first you don't succeed, do it the way your wife told you in the first place!

------------------------------------ "The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking of morality by religion" Arthur C Clarke

Dan Neely

What does it say about me that I knew it was the master's list before being halfway through.

Today's lesson is brought to you by the word "niggardly". Remember kids, don't attribute to racism what can be explained by Scandinavian language roots. -- Robert Royall

hairy_hats

I'm interested in hearing from the women on CP how men gain points. :)

Lost User

You waiting on Elaine to sharpen her claws ;P

Oakman

dan neely wrote:

What does it say about me that I knew it was the master's list before being halfway through.

That you are extremely bright, very discriminating, absolutely likeable, iconoclastic, a shepherd not a sheep, and probably have no interest in man points.

Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface

Shepman

It appears someone doesn't like Heinlein. I balanced as well as I could.

Dan Neely

... and someone with a high rank at that. Better now. :rose:

Today's lesson is brought to you by the word "niggardly". Remember kids, don't attribute to racism what can be explained by Scandinavian language roots. -- Robert Royall

Lost User

Fixing your broken down car at 9 at night with the wife in the pasanger seat? Oh, and taking out spiders. That always impresses the girls. For some god knows strange reason.

Morality is indistinguishable from social proscription

realJSOP

blackjack2150 wrote:

+ Stoking a fire with a stick and causing bigger flames

It depends on what you mean by a "stick". If it was a mere misspelling, and you intended to type "dick", it once more depends. Are you stoking the fire with your dick or someone else's? If it's yours, you get man points for a) sticking it in a fire, and b) having one long enough to do so without burning the rest of your body. On the other hand, you lose man points for damaging an otherwise useful tool. If you're using someone else's dick, again it depends. If it's still attached to the owner and he's smiling, you lose man points. If you kill him in an honorable duel to the death, and then cut it off his body, and then poked it in the fire as you laughed heartily at his valiant but pointless attempt at triumph through battle, you gain man points. There is still much debate over whether or not the severed dick is a viable food item, even after being thoroughly cooked. My advice for now is to not partake until it has been determined what kind of affect it will have on your man points total.

blackjack2150 wrote:

+ chopping down a tree with an axe

That earns you man points, but only if you're using the tree to kill an enemy, or using it for firewood for the topic discussed above.

blackjack2150 wrote:

+ sharpening a pencil with a knife

Anyone can do that. No man points.

blackjack2150 wrote:

+ digging a big hole manually(without mechanical assistance)

You're stuck on this manual labor thing. No man points for digging it yourself, but if you capture slave girls and force them to do it for you, all the while promising them the greatest sexual pleasures they've ever known, then you get man points.

blackjack2150 wrote:

+ Catching a drink that has fallen off the table.

Real men don't stop drinking long enough to put their drink down. However, if you get into a fight in a bar, and the drink is knocked off of a table due to the intrusion of your latest victim onto the table, and THEN you catch it, you have to drink it to get man points.

blackjack2150 wrote:

+ Using the phrase, “I think I know what I’m doing.”

Loss of man points. Feeling the need to

Single Step Debugger

Finally some post which makes sense and have entertainment value.

The narrow specialist in the broad sense of the word is a complete idiot in the narrow sense of the word. Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

Lost User

+living gallantly

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Lost User

I'm leaving him in suspense.

Visit http://www.notreadytogiveup.com/[^] and do something special today.

Lost User

Very Chuck!

Visit http://www.notreadytogiveup.com/[^] and do something special today.

Lost User

I'm fine with spiders so I take them outside for the men :rolleyes:

Visit http://www.notreadytogiveup.com/[^] and do something special today.

Henry Minute

Steve_Harris wrote:

I'm interested in hearing from the women on CP how men gain points

You lose em for that.

Henry Minute If you open a can of worms, any viable solution *MUST* involve a larger can.