It just gets better
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BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I figure I can be the guy in charge of CSS's conspiracy inside of 10 years. I'm already watching all the Bond movies to figure out what NOT to do. It appears using cell phones to communicate with minions who have explosives is a bad idea... I'll have to move to occular inplants.
ragnaroknrol wrote:
I'm already watching all the Bond movies to figure out what NOT to do.
And remember that if you have a sexy female underling, she has to be devious and evil enough to kill the enemy spy after letting him seduce her. Oh, and don't explain your plan to the enemy, no matter how likely you think he's going to die. Don't even tell your own men any more than they need to know. And no elaborate deaths. Don't take prisoners. If you capture an enemy agent, shoot him in the head, then check his pockets for loose change. Sure, torture is fun, but so is dominating the world.
Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in? Author of Guardians of Xen (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novel)
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ragnaroknrol wrote:
I'm already watching all the Bond movies to figure out what NOT to do.
And remember that if you have a sexy female underling, she has to be devious and evil enough to kill the enemy spy after letting him seduce her. Oh, and don't explain your plan to the enemy, no matter how likely you think he's going to die. Don't even tell your own men any more than they need to know. And no elaborate deaths. Don't take prisoners. If you capture an enemy agent, shoot him in the head, then check his pockets for loose change. Sure, torture is fun, but so is dominating the world.
Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in? Author of Guardians of Xen (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novel)
Ian Shlasko wrote:
And remember that if you have a sexy female underling, she has to be devious and evil enough to kill the enemy spy after letting him seduce her.
No she has to kill him while seducing him. Preferably on tape so I can watch. Though the wife might get mad about that...
Ian Shlasko wrote:
Oh, and don't explain your plan to the enemy, no matter how likely you think he's going to die. Don't even tell your own men any more than they need to know.
Minions are to be kept as well informed as CSS, got it. Alternately I was thinking of telling him how I plan to crash the stock exchange with some elaborate plan and then go rob a bank while he tries to thwart said plan.
Ian Shlasko wrote:
And no elaborate deaths. Don't take prisoners. If you capture an enemy agent, shoot him in the head, then check his pockets for loose change. Sure, torture is fun, but so is dominating the world.
Got a .38 special and a dumpster ready for them. Though I did see one guy screw it up, 2 guys, machine guns, in a room, and they screwed it up. I am starting to think of having him go to meet the underling at her place and using a sniper rifle. Just in case she doesn't finish him first. This has the added benefit of having a sniper scope pointing into the bedroom... Any advice on the secret lair? I was thinking inactive volcano but I don't know... too cliche?
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Ian Shlasko wrote:
And remember that if you have a sexy female underling, she has to be devious and evil enough to kill the enemy spy after letting him seduce her.
No she has to kill him while seducing him. Preferably on tape so I can watch. Though the wife might get mad about that...
Ian Shlasko wrote:
Oh, and don't explain your plan to the enemy, no matter how likely you think he's going to die. Don't even tell your own men any more than they need to know.
Minions are to be kept as well informed as CSS, got it. Alternately I was thinking of telling him how I plan to crash the stock exchange with some elaborate plan and then go rob a bank while he tries to thwart said plan.
Ian Shlasko wrote:
And no elaborate deaths. Don't take prisoners. If you capture an enemy agent, shoot him in the head, then check his pockets for loose change. Sure, torture is fun, but so is dominating the world.
Got a .38 special and a dumpster ready for them. Though I did see one guy screw it up, 2 guys, machine guns, in a room, and they screwed it up. I am starting to think of having him go to meet the underling at her place and using a sniper rifle. Just in case she doesn't finish him first. This has the added benefit of having a sniper scope pointing into the bedroom... Any advice on the secret lair? I was thinking inactive volcano but I don't know... too cliche?
ragnaroknrol wrote:
Any advice on the secret lair? I was thinking inactive volcano but I don't know... too cliche?
Way too cliche. Move to the 21st century... You don't need a secret lair anymore, until you actually take over the world. With technology and the proper encryption and codes, you can just decentralize everything. Henchman Recruiting (HR) could be in one location, Doomsday Device Construction in another, and IT somewhere else entirely. You could even divide each of them into five or six redundant locations, while you manage the whole thing from your house/apartment, since no one will know who you are until it's too late.
Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in? Author of Guardians of Xen (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novel)
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ragnaroknrol wrote:
Any advice on the secret lair? I was thinking inactive volcano but I don't know... too cliche?
Way too cliche. Move to the 21st century... You don't need a secret lair anymore, until you actually take over the world. With technology and the proper encryption and codes, you can just decentralize everything. Henchman Recruiting (HR) could be in one location, Doomsday Device Construction in another, and IT somewhere else entirely. You could even divide each of them into five or six redundant locations, while you manage the whole thing from your house/apartment, since no one will know who you are until it's too late.
Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in? Author of Guardians of Xen (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novel)
See, this is why I come here for advice. If I could give you a 5 I would. I will have the wife work on the networking and server crap. She's got more certs in that stuff than I can stack on a desk. Heck we could run the IT in house and save money there, of course that might be more work than it is worth... I've got HR taken care of. My friend is a geneticist and she has been working on the winged flying monkeys for a few years. My Henchman trainer has achieved her 2nd black belt and will train them in ninjitsu as soon as they are ready. My chief "fall-guy/flunkie" is waiting for an opportunity to exact revenge on my enemies. Looking at the Doomsday Device options I am stuck. I mean, I do like the Nazi "Erde, die Flugkörper bricht" but it just seems a bit old school to bore a hole into the core and blow up the planet. The FF7 Sephiroth special requires too much math and a conveniently placed planetoid to make a solar flare hit earth, and the "I got a rock" system marketed by MS is just too expensive and cliche. I mean come on, they did it in Armageddon... I was looking at "Zombie Plague Vials" but that just seems like an accident waiting to happen.
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See, this is why I come here for advice. If I could give you a 5 I would. I will have the wife work on the networking and server crap. She's got more certs in that stuff than I can stack on a desk. Heck we could run the IT in house and save money there, of course that might be more work than it is worth... I've got HR taken care of. My friend is a geneticist and she has been working on the winged flying monkeys for a few years. My Henchman trainer has achieved her 2nd black belt and will train them in ninjitsu as soon as they are ready. My chief "fall-guy/flunkie" is waiting for an opportunity to exact revenge on my enemies. Looking at the Doomsday Device options I am stuck. I mean, I do like the Nazi "Erde, die Flugkörper bricht" but it just seems a bit old school to bore a hole into the core and blow up the planet. The FF7 Sephiroth special requires too much math and a conveniently placed planetoid to make a solar flare hit earth, and the "I got a rock" system marketed by MS is just too expensive and cliche. I mean come on, they did it in Armageddon... I was looking at "Zombie Plague Vials" but that just seems like an accident waiting to happen.
Hmm... Doomsday devices can be tricky, yeah. You don't want to actually destroy the Earth, because that's where you keep all your stuff. You don't want to wipe out the entire human race, because let's face it, you don't want to cook your own food while you're busy ruling the world, right? I think the best option is mind control. If you can perfect that, and make it cheap and quick, you can have an exponentially-growing army of completely-loyal slaves. Think zombie plague, but with central leadership. I would suggest doing it with some sort of implanted device, though, and build in some Internet-style fault tolerance and damage rerouting. That way, if the evil secret agent blows up your transmitter, all of the control signals are transferred to fifteen other hidden bases in various parts of the world. Also be sure it can function without you in a pinch, so the evil secret agent knows that killing you won't save the world.
Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in? Author of Guardians of Xen (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novel)
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Hmm... Doomsday devices can be tricky, yeah. You don't want to actually destroy the Earth, because that's where you keep all your stuff. You don't want to wipe out the entire human race, because let's face it, you don't want to cook your own food while you're busy ruling the world, right? I think the best option is mind control. If you can perfect that, and make it cheap and quick, you can have an exponentially-growing army of completely-loyal slaves. Think zombie plague, but with central leadership. I would suggest doing it with some sort of implanted device, though, and build in some Internet-style fault tolerance and damage rerouting. That way, if the evil secret agent blows up your transmitter, all of the control signals are transferred to fifteen other hidden bases in various parts of the world. Also be sure it can function without you in a pinch, so the evil secret agent knows that killing you won't save the world.
Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in? Author of Guardians of Xen (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novel)
How about if I figure out how to hijack those chips the aliens have implanted on people behind their left ear? I figure if a guy with a Mac can hack into an alien mothership and blow up an entier alien invasion, I should be able to change a bunch of data collecting chips into mind control pretty easily. It's already got some decent integration with around .5% of the population secretly having this. Heck it even has the added advantage of possibly controlling secret agents. I know they have redundant back ups, the plans I stole from Area 51 found show a very effective networking system using their spaceships orbiting systems. So right now my plan is: Step 1: Establish a religion using your cult as a basis which will allow my secret lairs and flying ninja monkeys to be put into key positions while hacking the alien chips to do mind control and shooting any secret agents in the head. Step 2: Step 3: Total World Domination. It's a pretty rough sketch, a work in progress, really, but I like it.
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How about if I figure out how to hijack those chips the aliens have implanted on people behind their left ear? I figure if a guy with a Mac can hack into an alien mothership and blow up an entier alien invasion, I should be able to change a bunch of data collecting chips into mind control pretty easily. It's already got some decent integration with around .5% of the population secretly having this. Heck it even has the added advantage of possibly controlling secret agents. I know they have redundant back ups, the plans I stole from Area 51 found show a very effective networking system using their spaceships orbiting systems. So right now my plan is: Step 1: Establish a religion using your cult as a basis which will allow my secret lairs and flying ninja monkeys to be put into key positions while hacking the alien chips to do mind control and shooting any secret agents in the head. Step 2: Step 3: Total World Domination. It's a pretty rough sketch, a work in progress, really, but I like it.
Sounds like a plan... But I suggest a slight addition to Step 2... Step 2: ??? Just for clarity... And gnomes :)
Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in? Author of Guardians of Xen (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novel)
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Sounds like a plan... But I suggest a slight addition to Step 2... Step 2: ??? Just for clarity... And gnomes :)
Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in? Author of Guardians of Xen (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novel)
Knew I forgot something.
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How about if I figure out how to hijack those chips the aliens have implanted on people behind their left ear? I figure if a guy with a Mac can hack into an alien mothership and blow up an entier alien invasion, I should be able to change a bunch of data collecting chips into mind control pretty easily. It's already got some decent integration with around .5% of the population secretly having this. Heck it even has the added advantage of possibly controlling secret agents. I know they have redundant back ups, the plans I stole from Area 51 found show a very effective networking system using their spaceships orbiting systems. So right now my plan is: Step 1: Establish a religion using your cult as a basis which will allow my secret lairs and flying ninja monkeys to be put into key positions while hacking the alien chips to do mind control and shooting any secret agents in the head. Step 2: Step 3: Total World Domination. It's a pretty rough sketch, a work in progress, really, but I like it.
You might not need a step 3. If you stop shooting the secret agents and start mind controlling them, you can make them give false reports and destabilise governments. All that you'd have to do would be to force a country to go to war and employ you as a consultant or contractor, and then Bingo. You've got access to a governmental computer network, and a way of moving into employment by the government. From there you can take over easily; the mind control devices will also help you quash resistance. In case you can't tell, I'm bored. Some virtual machines have been messing me around with inconsistent behaviour, and I need a break
OSDev :)
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You might not need a step 3. If you stop shooting the secret agents and start mind controlling them, you can make them give false reports and destabilise governments. All that you'd have to do would be to force a country to go to war and employ you as a consultant or contractor, and then Bingo. You've got access to a governmental computer network, and a way of moving into employment by the government. From there you can take over easily; the mind control devices will also help you quash resistance. In case you can't tell, I'm bored. Some virtual machines have been messing me around with inconsistent behaviour, and I need a break
OSDev :)
You kidding me, if I can get a contractor job with a couple of governments I don't need to take over the world. Look at Darth Cheney. He can shoot lightning at people from his throne made of dead soldiers bones and gold he's had shipped from Iraq. Assuming he has this throne, of course. (It's really cool and even has a pair of Tesla Coils to be extra scary.)