A tale of flatulence
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My gf has been complaining for days about me farting in bed while asleep. She says she's been woken up by both the noise and the smell on different occasions. This morning our 2 year old son woke up about 5am and she was grumpy claiming it was my fart that woke him, naturally I denied everything. While we were lying in bed hoping he'd go back to sleep when he started amusing himself by making massive farting noises with his mouth. She reckons he's matched my pitch perfectly, guess it's case closed.
Farting is always funny.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me
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Farting is always funny.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me
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Usually blows itself out...
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me
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Farting is always funny.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me
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Farting is always funny.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me
I have to agree with that.. even funnier when your children also giggle after farting
As barmey as a sack of badgers Dude, if I knew what I was doing in life, I'd be rich, retired, dating a supermodel and laughing at the rest of you from the sidelines.
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oh dear that means in two years I'm going to marry a beast. She always lifts her leg while sat on the sofa while farting.
As barmey as a sack of badgers Dude, if I knew what I was doing in life, I'd be rich, retired, dating a supermodel and laughing at the rest of you from the sidelines.
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If by your own standards I am an asshole then I am happy, because quite frankly, you are immature.
Morality is indistinguishable from social proscription
fat_boy wrote:
If by your own standards I am an a**hole then I am happy, because quite frankly, you are immature.
You don't laugh at farts? I guess when you stop to think about their impact on the atmosphere and contribution to global warming it's hard to see the funny side.
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oh dear that means in two years I'm going to marry a beast. She always lifts her leg while sat on the sofa while farting.
As barmey as a sack of badgers Dude, if I knew what I was doing in life, I'd be rich, retired, dating a supermodel and laughing at the rest of you from the sidelines.
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fat_boy wrote:
If by your own standards I am an a**hole then I am happy, because quite frankly, you are immature.
You don't laugh at farts? I guess when you stop to think about their impact on the atmosphere and contribution to global warming it's hard to see the funny side.
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No, sorry, too old to laugh at peurile humour. I'll leave that to the children on the forum.
Morality is indistinguishable from social proscription
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I suspect 10 minutes before the next gag is revealed :-D
As barmey as a sack of badgers Dude, if I knew what I was doing in life, I'd be rich, retired, dating a supermodel and laughing at the rest of you from the sidelines.
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My gf has been complaining for days about me farting in bed while asleep. She says she's been woken up by both the noise and the smell on different occasions. This morning our 2 year old son woke up about 5am and she was grumpy claiming it was my fart that woke him, naturally I denied everything. While we were lying in bed hoping he'd go back to sleep when he started amusing himself by making massive farting noises with his mouth. She reckons he's matched my pitch perfectly, guess it's case closed.
You made me nearly spit up my coffee reading your tale of smell. :laugh: 5 if I could give it.
That's called seagull management (or sometimes pigeon management)... Fly in, flap your arms and squawk a lot, crap all over everything and fly out again... by _Damian S_
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You made me nearly spit up my coffee reading your tale of smell. :laugh: 5 if I could give it.
That's called seagull management (or sometimes pigeon management)... Fly in, flap your arms and squawk a lot, crap all over everything and fly out again... by _Damian S_
A couple of months ago I managed to produce such a magnificent smell my wife was sick in the toilet, the noise of which woke up our daughter who was then sick herself. It was a very proud moment.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.