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  4. A tale of flatulence

A tale of flatulence

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Back Room
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  • D Dalek Dave

    Yeah, my wife never farts, but the magic bedroom pixies are really loud!

    ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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    Rhuros
    wrote on last edited by
    #9

    What! you have them too.... either that or its the Dog...

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    • R R Giskard Reventlov

      Farting is always funny.

      "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

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      Dalek Dave
      wrote on last edited by
      #10

      Except when you have a really bad stomach, then it is like Russian Roulette!

      ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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      • D Dalek Dave

        Except when you have a really bad stomach, then it is like Russian Roulette!

        ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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        R Giskard Reventlov
        wrote on last edited by
        #11

        Usually blows itself out...

        "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

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        • R R Giskard Reventlov

          Farting is always funny.

          "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

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          Lost User
          wrote on last edited by
          #12

          digital man wrote:

          Farting is always funny.

          Yep, I'm sure it's an English thing. My father was the master of the well timed fart.

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          • R R Giskard Reventlov

            Farting is always funny.

            "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

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            Simon_Whale
            wrote on last edited by
            #13

            I have to agree with that.. even funnier when your children also giggle after farting

            As barmey as a sack of badgers Dude, if I knew what I was doing in life, I'd be rich, retired, dating a supermodel and laughing at the rest of you from the sidelines.

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            • D Dalek Dave

              Yeah, my wife never farts, but the magic bedroom pixies are really loud!

              ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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              Simon_Whale
              wrote on last edited by
              #14

              oh dear that means in two years I'm going to marry a beast. She always lifts her leg while sat on the sofa while farting.

              As barmey as a sack of badgers Dude, if I knew what I was doing in life, I'd be rich, retired, dating a supermodel and laughing at the rest of you from the sidelines.

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              • L Lost User

                If by your own standards I am an asshole then I am happy, because quite frankly, you are immature.

                Morality is indistinguishable from social proscription

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                Lost User
                wrote on last edited by
                #15

                fat_boy wrote:

                If by your own standards I am an a**hole then I am happy, because quite frankly, you are immature.

                You don't laugh at farts? I guess when you stop to think about their impact on the atmosphere and contribution to global warming it's hard to see the funny side.

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                • S Simon_Whale

                  oh dear that means in two years I'm going to marry a beast. She always lifts her leg while sat on the sofa while farting.

                  As barmey as a sack of badgers Dude, if I knew what I was doing in life, I'd be rich, retired, dating a supermodel and laughing at the rest of you from the sidelines.

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                  Dalek Dave
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #16

                  She Farts Man-Style!

                  ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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                  • L Lost User

                    fat_boy wrote:

                    If by your own standards I am an a**hole then I am happy, because quite frankly, you are immature.

                    You don't laugh at farts? I guess when you stop to think about their impact on the atmosphere and contribution to global warming it's hard to see the funny side.

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                    Lost User
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #17

                    No, sorry, too old to laugh at peurile humour. I'll leave that to the children on the forum.

                    Morality is indistinguishable from social proscription

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                    • L Lost User

                      No, sorry, too old to laugh at peurile humour. I'll leave that to the children on the forum.

                      Morality is indistinguishable from social proscription

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                      Dalek Dave
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #18

                      Never too old to laugh at toilet humour and knob gags.

                      ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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                      • L Lost User

                        Yeah? Just wait... (a few years)

                        Morality is indistinguishable from social proscription

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                        Dalek Dave
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #19

                        I am 43 now, how long do I have to wait?

                        ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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                        • D Dalek Dave

                          Never too old to laugh at toilet humour and knob gags.

                          ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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                          Lost User
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #20

                          Yeah? Just wait... (a few years)

                          Morality is indistinguishable from social proscription

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                          • D Dalek Dave

                            I am 43 now, how long do I have to wait?

                            ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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                            Simon_Whale
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #21

                            I suspect 10 minutes before the next gag is revealed :-D

                            As barmey as a sack of badgers Dude, if I knew what I was doing in life, I'd be rich, retired, dating a supermodel and laughing at the rest of you from the sidelines.

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                            • D Dalek Dave

                              I am 43 now, how long do I have to wait?

                              ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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                              Lost User
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #22

                              2 more years from a personal perspective.

                              Morality is indistinguishable from social proscription

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                              • L Lost User

                                My gf has been complaining for days about me farting in bed while asleep. She says she's been woken up by both the noise and the smell on different occasions. This morning our 2 year old son woke up about 5am and she was grumpy claiming it was my fart that woke him, naturally I denied everything. While we were lying in bed hoping he'd go back to sleep when he started amusing himself by making massive farting noises with his mouth. She reckons he's matched my pitch perfectly, guess it's case closed.

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                                wolfbinary
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #23

                                You made me nearly spit up my coffee reading your tale of smell. :laugh: 5 if I could give it.

                                That's called seagull management (or sometimes pigeon management)... Fly in, flap your arms and squawk a lot, crap all over everything and fly out again... by _Damian S_

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                                • D Dalek Dave

                                  Yeah, my wife never farts, but the magic bedroom pixies are really loud!

                                  ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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                                  Lost User
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #24

                                  Women don't fart because they can't keep their mouths shut long enough to build up the required pressure.

                                  Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.

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                                  • W wolfbinary

                                    You made me nearly spit up my coffee reading your tale of smell. :laugh: 5 if I could give it.

                                    That's called seagull management (or sometimes pigeon management)... Fly in, flap your arms and squawk a lot, crap all over everything and fly out again... by _Damian S_

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                                    Lost User
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #25

                                    A couple of months ago I managed to produce such a magnificent smell my wife was sick in the toilet, the noise of which woke up our daughter who was then sick herself. It was a very proud moment.

                                    Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.

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