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  4. A tale of flatulence

A tale of flatulence

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Back Room
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  • R R Giskard Reventlov

    Farting is always funny.

    "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

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    Simon_Whale
    wrote on last edited by
    #13

    I have to agree with that.. even funnier when your children also giggle after farting

    As barmey as a sack of badgers Dude, if I knew what I was doing in life, I'd be rich, retired, dating a supermodel and laughing at the rest of you from the sidelines.

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    • D Dalek Dave

      Yeah, my wife never farts, but the magic bedroom pixies are really loud!

      ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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      Simon_Whale
      wrote on last edited by
      #14

      oh dear that means in two years I'm going to marry a beast. She always lifts her leg while sat on the sofa while farting.

      As barmey as a sack of badgers Dude, if I knew what I was doing in life, I'd be rich, retired, dating a supermodel and laughing at the rest of you from the sidelines.

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      • L Lost User

        If by your own standards I am an asshole then I am happy, because quite frankly, you are immature.

        Morality is indistinguishable from social proscription

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        Lost User
        wrote on last edited by
        #15

        fat_boy wrote:

        If by your own standards I am an a**hole then I am happy, because quite frankly, you are immature.

        You don't laugh at farts? I guess when you stop to think about their impact on the atmosphere and contribution to global warming it's hard to see the funny side.

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        • S Simon_Whale

          oh dear that means in two years I'm going to marry a beast. She always lifts her leg while sat on the sofa while farting.

          As barmey as a sack of badgers Dude, if I knew what I was doing in life, I'd be rich, retired, dating a supermodel and laughing at the rest of you from the sidelines.

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          Dalek Dave
          wrote on last edited by
          #16

          She Farts Man-Style!

          ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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          • L Lost User

            fat_boy wrote:

            If by your own standards I am an a**hole then I am happy, because quite frankly, you are immature.

            You don't laugh at farts? I guess when you stop to think about their impact on the atmosphere and contribution to global warming it's hard to see the funny side.

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            Lost User
            wrote on last edited by
            #17

            No, sorry, too old to laugh at peurile humour. I'll leave that to the children on the forum.

            Morality is indistinguishable from social proscription

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            • L Lost User

              No, sorry, too old to laugh at peurile humour. I'll leave that to the children on the forum.

              Morality is indistinguishable from social proscription

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              Dalek Dave
              wrote on last edited by
              #18

              Never too old to laugh at toilet humour and knob gags.

              ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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              • L Lost User

                Yeah? Just wait... (a few years)

                Morality is indistinguishable from social proscription

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                Dalek Dave
                wrote on last edited by
                #19

                I am 43 now, how long do I have to wait?

                ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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                • D Dalek Dave

                  Never too old to laugh at toilet humour and knob gags.

                  ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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                  Lost User
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #20

                  Yeah? Just wait... (a few years)

                  Morality is indistinguishable from social proscription

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                  • D Dalek Dave

                    I am 43 now, how long do I have to wait?

                    ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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                    Simon_Whale
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #21

                    I suspect 10 minutes before the next gag is revealed :-D

                    As barmey as a sack of badgers Dude, if I knew what I was doing in life, I'd be rich, retired, dating a supermodel and laughing at the rest of you from the sidelines.

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                    • D Dalek Dave

                      I am 43 now, how long do I have to wait?

                      ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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                      Lost User
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #22

                      2 more years from a personal perspective.

                      Morality is indistinguishable from social proscription

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                      • L Lost User

                        My gf has been complaining for days about me farting in bed while asleep. She says she's been woken up by both the noise and the smell on different occasions. This morning our 2 year old son woke up about 5am and she was grumpy claiming it was my fart that woke him, naturally I denied everything. While we were lying in bed hoping he'd go back to sleep when he started amusing himself by making massive farting noises with his mouth. She reckons he's matched my pitch perfectly, guess it's case closed.

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                        wolfbinary
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #23

                        You made me nearly spit up my coffee reading your tale of smell. :laugh: 5 if I could give it.

                        That's called seagull management (or sometimes pigeon management)... Fly in, flap your arms and squawk a lot, crap all over everything and fly out again... by _Damian S_

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                        • D Dalek Dave

                          Yeah, my wife never farts, but the magic bedroom pixies are really loud!

                          ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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                          Lost User
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #24

                          Women don't fart because they can't keep their mouths shut long enough to build up the required pressure.

                          Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.

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                          • W wolfbinary

                            You made me nearly spit up my coffee reading your tale of smell. :laugh: 5 if I could give it.

                            That's called seagull management (or sometimes pigeon management)... Fly in, flap your arms and squawk a lot, crap all over everything and fly out again... by _Damian S_

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                            Lost User
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #25

                            A couple of months ago I managed to produce such a magnificent smell my wife was sick in the toilet, the noise of which woke up our daughter who was then sick herself. It was a very proud moment.

                            Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.

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