Xmas Confessions
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okay mine isn't x-rated or anything but knowing you lot who knows where it will go. I was about 7 or 8 (I think 8) years old at the time and it was Xmas eve. Dad had gone to pick up Mum from the pub where she worked at the time (and of course get a few down himself). Now I was excited, really excited Xmas day couldn't come quick enough, but how do I manage it... and thus I hatched my plan. First I altered all the clocks forward by 3 hours and hoping my parents would be too tired (and as I now know pissed) to notice. Those in their bedroom I altered and then pointed them so they faced away from the bed, the ones downstairs I made sure some big Xmas cards were in front of them. The only one I couldn't alter was my Dad's wristwatch. And thus plan in action I went to bad. The alarm clock in my parents bedroom went off, at what it thought was 7am, the official getting up time. I was off, downstairs, kettle on and get the cups ready for the cup of tea to get them started (I was not truly evil). Down came the victims, excellent Dad wasn't wearing his watch, looking like they had only had 3 hours sleep (which they had as it was 4am and they had been busy getting the pressies down from the loft and nextdoor). Santa had been good to me that year (he obviously approved of my last minute transgression). Mum and Dad had their cups of tea. I had lego. Mum and Dad had a glass of sherry - Merry Xmas Everyone. It was time to put the turkey on. Mum went upstairs got dressed, came down and entered the kitchen and started preparing the Turkey - on came the radio. My plan was about to unravel. Mum opened the kitchen blinds and commented that next door weren't awake yet (they also had young children - but nice ones) and then she noticed how dark it was (especially unusual for this time of year at 10am but quite right for 7am). The news came on the radio... I was rumbled. After the initial shock and yelling - they actually saw the funny side (I was lucky) but for years after they always checked the clocks when they came back on Xmas Eve. And now they look at my son quite fondly and are probably feeding him ideas - I am going to suffer and they are sure they will get the last laugh.
Technically speaking the dictionary would define Visual Basic users as programmers.
But here again, a very generalized, liberal definition is being employed and it's wrong
- just plain wrong - Tom Archer 5/12/02 -
okay mine isn't x-rated or anything but knowing you lot who knows where it will go. I was about 7 or 8 (I think 8) years old at the time and it was Xmas eve. Dad had gone to pick up Mum from the pub where she worked at the time (and of course get a few down himself). Now I was excited, really excited Xmas day couldn't come quick enough, but how do I manage it... and thus I hatched my plan. First I altered all the clocks forward by 3 hours and hoping my parents would be too tired (and as I now know pissed) to notice. Those in their bedroom I altered and then pointed them so they faced away from the bed, the ones downstairs I made sure some big Xmas cards were in front of them. The only one I couldn't alter was my Dad's wristwatch. And thus plan in action I went to bad. The alarm clock in my parents bedroom went off, at what it thought was 7am, the official getting up time. I was off, downstairs, kettle on and get the cups ready for the cup of tea to get them started (I was not truly evil). Down came the victims, excellent Dad wasn't wearing his watch, looking like they had only had 3 hours sleep (which they had as it was 4am and they had been busy getting the pressies down from the loft and nextdoor). Santa had been good to me that year (he obviously approved of my last minute transgression). Mum and Dad had their cups of tea. I had lego. Mum and Dad had a glass of sherry - Merry Xmas Everyone. It was time to put the turkey on. Mum went upstairs got dressed, came down and entered the kitchen and started preparing the Turkey - on came the radio. My plan was about to unravel. Mum opened the kitchen blinds and commented that next door weren't awake yet (they also had young children - but nice ones) and then she noticed how dark it was (especially unusual for this time of year at 10am but quite right for 7am). The news came on the radio... I was rumbled. After the initial shock and yelling - they actually saw the funny side (I was lucky) but for years after they always checked the clocks when they came back on Xmas Eve. And now they look at my son quite fondly and are probably feeding him ideas - I am going to suffer and they are sure they will get the last laugh.
Technically speaking the dictionary would define Visual Basic users as programmers.
But here again, a very generalized, liberal definition is being employed and it's wrong
- just plain wrong - Tom Archer 5/12/02From the devious minds of youngsters. I was the opposite at christmas. We were not allowed to open our presents until everybody was together. I used to stay in bed for as long as possible to annoy everybody else. The latest I got to once was about 3pm! :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh: Roger Allen Sonork 100.10016 This is a multiple choice question, choose wisely Why did the hedgehog cross the road? A: To show he had guts? B: To see his flat mate?
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okay mine isn't x-rated or anything but knowing you lot who knows where it will go. I was about 7 or 8 (I think 8) years old at the time and it was Xmas eve. Dad had gone to pick up Mum from the pub where she worked at the time (and of course get a few down himself). Now I was excited, really excited Xmas day couldn't come quick enough, but how do I manage it... and thus I hatched my plan. First I altered all the clocks forward by 3 hours and hoping my parents would be too tired (and as I now know pissed) to notice. Those in their bedroom I altered and then pointed them so they faced away from the bed, the ones downstairs I made sure some big Xmas cards were in front of them. The only one I couldn't alter was my Dad's wristwatch. And thus plan in action I went to bad. The alarm clock in my parents bedroom went off, at what it thought was 7am, the official getting up time. I was off, downstairs, kettle on and get the cups ready for the cup of tea to get them started (I was not truly evil). Down came the victims, excellent Dad wasn't wearing his watch, looking like they had only had 3 hours sleep (which they had as it was 4am and they had been busy getting the pressies down from the loft and nextdoor). Santa had been good to me that year (he obviously approved of my last minute transgression). Mum and Dad had their cups of tea. I had lego. Mum and Dad had a glass of sherry - Merry Xmas Everyone. It was time to put the turkey on. Mum went upstairs got dressed, came down and entered the kitchen and started preparing the Turkey - on came the radio. My plan was about to unravel. Mum opened the kitchen blinds and commented that next door weren't awake yet (they also had young children - but nice ones) and then she noticed how dark it was (especially unusual for this time of year at 10am but quite right for 7am). The news came on the radio... I was rumbled. After the initial shock and yelling - they actually saw the funny side (I was lucky) but for years after they always checked the clocks when they came back on Xmas Eve. And now they look at my son quite fondly and are probably feeding him ideas - I am going to suffer and they are sure they will get the last laugh.
Technically speaking the dictionary would define Visual Basic users as programmers.
But here again, a very generalized, liberal definition is being employed and it's wrong
- just plain wrong - Tom Archer 5/12/02After that very sweet story Shaun, our confidence in your Joy Of Christmas Spirit* has been restored. No more Scrooge for you... I guess the ghosts visited early huh? :) Shaun Wilde wrote: (and as I now know pissed) Shaun Wilde wrote: they also had young children - but nice ones Shaun Wilde wrote: they actually saw the funny side (I was lucky) :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh: Those are three hilarious statements. You should write more anecdotal stories Shaun. * Batteries sold seperately
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaNOPcode wrote: ...but in America, you're not allowed to thrust, moan or see anything...
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From the devious minds of youngsters. I was the opposite at christmas. We were not allowed to open our presents until everybody was together. I used to stay in bed for as long as possible to annoy everybody else. The latest I got to once was about 3pm! :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh: Roger Allen Sonork 100.10016 This is a multiple choice question, choose wisely Why did the hedgehog cross the road? A: To show he had guts? B: To see his flat mate?
Roger Allen wrote: We were not allowed to open our presents until everybody was together Ahh yes. When I was small and Religion was in we had to wait until AFTER the blasted Christmas service. We had to wait while everyone from us youngsters to the octagenerians got their Sunday Best Church clothes together. We all then ambled off to the Church, sat through a 2 hour service, tried to climb into the Manger scene and then ambled back home. At this point I was so wired up I would have been happy if someone had given me a brick wrapped in Christmas paper. If a Considerate Adult was pretending to be father Christmas then us kids got our presents first so we could stop clawing the cat scratch pole. But some years we got The Dreaded Uncle who, thinking he was being a Chivilrous Knight, would hand out from oldest to youngest. Arrgghh! Ahh yes, Christmas. :)
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaNOPcode wrote: ...but in America, you're not allowed to thrust, moan or see anything...
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okay mine isn't x-rated or anything but knowing you lot who knows where it will go. I was about 7 or 8 (I think 8) years old at the time and it was Xmas eve. Dad had gone to pick up Mum from the pub where she worked at the time (and of course get a few down himself). Now I was excited, really excited Xmas day couldn't come quick enough, but how do I manage it... and thus I hatched my plan. First I altered all the clocks forward by 3 hours and hoping my parents would be too tired (and as I now know pissed) to notice. Those in their bedroom I altered and then pointed them so they faced away from the bed, the ones downstairs I made sure some big Xmas cards were in front of them. The only one I couldn't alter was my Dad's wristwatch. And thus plan in action I went to bad. The alarm clock in my parents bedroom went off, at what it thought was 7am, the official getting up time. I was off, downstairs, kettle on and get the cups ready for the cup of tea to get them started (I was not truly evil). Down came the victims, excellent Dad wasn't wearing his watch, looking like they had only had 3 hours sleep (which they had as it was 4am and they had been busy getting the pressies down from the loft and nextdoor). Santa had been good to me that year (he obviously approved of my last minute transgression). Mum and Dad had their cups of tea. I had lego. Mum and Dad had a glass of sherry - Merry Xmas Everyone. It was time to put the turkey on. Mum went upstairs got dressed, came down and entered the kitchen and started preparing the Turkey - on came the radio. My plan was about to unravel. Mum opened the kitchen blinds and commented that next door weren't awake yet (they also had young children - but nice ones) and then she noticed how dark it was (especially unusual for this time of year at 10am but quite right for 7am). The news came on the radio... I was rumbled. After the initial shock and yelling - they actually saw the funny side (I was lucky) but for years after they always checked the clocks when they came back on Xmas Eve. And now they look at my son quite fondly and are probably feeding him ideas - I am going to suffer and they are sure they will get the last laugh.
Technically speaking the dictionary would define Visual Basic users as programmers.
But here again, a very generalized, liberal definition is being employed and it's wrong
- just plain wrong - Tom Archer 5/12/02:laugh: Brilliant! My brother and I were considerably lucky. Although we had to wait till after church (as was the norm at the time) to open our presents, my parents were kind enough to put stockings together for us each year (actually, my Gran croched -spelling :confused: - them for us), which we were allowed to open as soon as we woke up. Usually this meant anywhere between midnight and 2am. My brother was one of those tomato sauce freaks. He would eat it with anything. He would fill a bowl with it and eat it like soup. So one year my folks put a small bottle of All Gold in the top of his stocking. Usually we only had chocolate to get sick on in the wee hours of Christmas morn, but this year my brother literally drank the bottle, while snacking on chocolates in between. :eek: I think the next year I waited till about 4am (he is 2 years younger than I am) to wake him up in case of a repeat messy performance :rolleyes:
I knew it would end badly when I first met Chris in a Canberra alleyway and he said 'try some-it won't hurt you'... -Christian Graus on Code Project outages His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to he wall**-Shaun Wilde**
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:laugh: Brilliant! My brother and I were considerably lucky. Although we had to wait till after church (as was the norm at the time) to open our presents, my parents were kind enough to put stockings together for us each year (actually, my Gran croched -spelling :confused: - them for us), which we were allowed to open as soon as we woke up. Usually this meant anywhere between midnight and 2am. My brother was one of those tomato sauce freaks. He would eat it with anything. He would fill a bowl with it and eat it like soup. So one year my folks put a small bottle of All Gold in the top of his stocking. Usually we only had chocolate to get sick on in the wee hours of Christmas morn, but this year my brother literally drank the bottle, while snacking on chocolates in between. :eek: I think the next year I waited till about 4am (he is 2 years younger than I am) to wake him up in case of a repeat messy performance :rolleyes:
I knew it would end badly when I first met Chris in a Canberra alleyway and he said 'try some-it won't hurt you'... -Christian Graus on Code Project outages His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to he wall**-Shaun Wilde**
Megan Forbes wrote: He would fill a bowl with it and eat it like soup LOL, sounds like my cousin. She would get out some bread and then spread a thick layer of tomato sauce on it. She would eat it with anything (except ice cream.) Made the rest of us sick just to watch. I like tomato sauce on my eggs and chips, but not on everything or just by itself. Megan Forbes wrote: I think the next year I waited till about 4am (he is 2 years younger than I am) to wake him up in case of a repeat messy performance Awww, what a supportive sister... oh wait, you just wanted to watch him in fascination right? :rolleyes:
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaNOPcode wrote: ...but in America, you're not allowed to thrust, moan or see anything...
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Megan Forbes wrote: He would fill a bowl with it and eat it like soup LOL, sounds like my cousin. She would get out some bread and then spread a thick layer of tomato sauce on it. She would eat it with anything (except ice cream.) Made the rest of us sick just to watch. I like tomato sauce on my eggs and chips, but not on everything or just by itself. Megan Forbes wrote: I think the next year I waited till about 4am (he is 2 years younger than I am) to wake him up in case of a repeat messy performance Awww, what a supportive sister... oh wait, you just wanted to watch him in fascination right? :rolleyes:
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaNOPcode wrote: ...but in America, you're not allowed to thrust, moan or see anything...
Lancashire Cheese and Tomato sauce sandwiches were always my favourite. Michael Fat bottomed girls You make the rockin' world go round -- Queen