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  4. Not just annoying, but stupid as well

Not just annoying, but stupid as well

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  • B benjymous

    Unless there are a few men out there with penises (peni?) measured in feet rather than inches, which is keeping the "average" unusually high -- Help me! I'm turning into a grapefruit!

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    Marc Clifton
    wrote on last edited by
    #20

    Probably Africans. You know how they hang stuff from their lips, their tits, their ears. Makes things really loooong. Marc Help! I'm an AI running around in someone's f*cked up universe simulator.
    Sensitivity and ethnic diversity means celebrating difference, not hiding from it. - Christian Graus
    Every line of code is a liability - Taka Muraoka

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    • M Megan Forbes

      benjymous wrote: The average human being has one breast, one testicle, and half a penis. :laugh: As Paul said above - way too much good sig material floating about! :laugh:


      A pack of geeks, pale and skinny, feeling a bit pumped and macho after a morning of strenuous mouse clicking and dragging, arriving en masse at the gym. They carefully reset the machines to the lowest settings, offer to spot for each other on the 5 lb dumbells, and rediscover the art of macrame while attempting to jump rope. -Roger Wright on my colleagues and I going to gym each day at lunch

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      benjymous
      wrote on last edited by
      #21

      I'm guessing mine might not be suitable for general comsumption (unless Dave adds it into his PG-13 collection) -- Help me! I'm turning into a grapefruit!

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      • P Paul Watson

        Michael P Butler wrote: You actually read the spam messages? Damn, you must be bored. Mine go in the recycle bin as soon as I take one look at the subject or email address It was in the subject line, I normally read the subject line to assess wether the spam is worth a chuckle or two, or worth the bin.

        Paul Watson
        Bluegrass
        Cape Town, South Africa

        Roger Wright wrote: Using a feather is kinky; using the whole chicken is perverted!

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        Megan Forbes
        wrote on last edited by
        #22

        Paul Watson wrote: Roger Wright wrote: Using a feather is kinky; using the whole chicken is perverted! :laugh: How did I miss this!!!! :laugh::laugh::laugh:


        A pack of geeks, pale and skinny, feeling a bit pumped and macho after a morning of strenuous mouse clicking and dragging, arriving en masse at the gym. They carefully reset the machines to the lowest settings, offer to spot for each other on the 5 lb dumbells, and rediscover the art of macrame while attempting to jump rope. -Roger Wright on my colleagues and I going to gym each day at lunch

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        • M Megan Forbes

          Paul Watson wrote: Roger Wright wrote: Using a feather is kinky; using the whole chicken is perverted! :laugh: How did I miss this!!!! :laugh::laugh::laugh:


          A pack of geeks, pale and skinny, feeling a bit pumped and macho after a morning of strenuous mouse clicking and dragging, arriving en masse at the gym. They carefully reset the machines to the lowest settings, offer to spot for each other on the 5 lb dumbells, and rediscover the art of macrame while attempting to jump rope. -Roger Wright on my colleagues and I going to gym each day at lunch

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          Paul Watson
          wrote on last edited by
          #23

          Megan Forbes wrote: How did I miss this!!!! It was ten posts down into an off topic discussion and Roger put it in very small writing. I think it was the Bill Clinton chicken crossing the road thread. I always click on a Roger Wright post, even if the topic is not my cup of tea. He always has something witty, intelligent or just plain hilarious to say :)

          Paul Watson
          Bluegrass
          Cape Town, South Africa

          Roger Wright wrote: Using a feather is kinky; using the whole chicken is perverted!

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          • P Paul Watson

            Bit rude so avoid if you are a prude. Got this through spam today: "90% OF MEN HAVE A SMALLER THAN AVERAGE PENIS - ARE YOU ONE OF THEM ?" Paul: Oh no! 90%?!?! God, I thought I might be average, but 90%? That is a lot! Where's their number.... Oh wait a minute... how can 90% be below average? Surely the average would reflect the 90%? So if 90% had 7inches then fine, 90% can't be below average, right? I don't mind clever spam, but stupid spam is just sad and a waste of time for everyone.

            Paul Watson
            Bluegrass
            Cape Town, South Africa

            Roger Wright wrote: Using a feather is kinky; using the whole chicken is perverted!

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            Debs 0
            wrote on last edited by
            #24

            Paul Watson wrote: I don't mind clever spam, but stupid spam is just sad and a waste of time for everyone. You mean you expect Spam to make sense????? I haven't seen any clever Spam yet. This is not an invitation or a challenge to anyone, btw!:rolleyes: Debbie

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            • D Debs 0

              Paul Watson wrote: I don't mind clever spam, but stupid spam is just sad and a waste of time for everyone. You mean you expect Spam to make sense????? I haven't seen any clever Spam yet. This is not an invitation or a challenge to anyone, btw!:rolleyes: Debbie

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              Paul Watson
              wrote on last edited by
              #25

              Debs wrote: You mean you expect Spam to make sense????? No... which is eactly why I said "I don't mind clever spam." The day that happens, I won't mind it at all, I might even frame it. :-D Debs wrote: This is not an invitation or a challenge to anyone LOL Too late though, people would have only read the first half of the sentence and then would be off creating a clever spam to your challenge ;)

              Paul Watson
              Bluegrass
              Cape Town, South Africa

              Roger Wright wrote: Using a feather is kinky; using the whole chicken is perverted!

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              • P Paul Watson

                Megan Forbes wrote: How did I miss this!!!! It was ten posts down into an off topic discussion and Roger put it in very small writing. I think it was the Bill Clinton chicken crossing the road thread. I always click on a Roger Wright post, even if the topic is not my cup of tea. He always has something witty, intelligent or just plain hilarious to say :)

                Paul Watson
                Bluegrass
                Cape Town, South Africa

                Roger Wright wrote: Using a feather is kinky; using the whole chicken is perverted!

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                Joao Vaz
                wrote on last edited by
                #26

                Paul Watson wrote: I always click on a Roger Wright post, even if the topic is not my cup of tea. He always has something witty, intelligent or just plain hilarious to say Yeah, we are two then ... :-D Cheers,Joao Vaz And if your dream is to care for your family, to put food on the table, to provide them with an education and a good home, then maybe suffering through an endless, pointless, boring job will seem to have purpose. And you will realize how even a rock can change the world, simply by remaining obstinately stationary.-Shog9 Remember just because a good thing comes to an end, doesn't mean that the next one can't be better.-Chris Meech

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                • P Paul Watson

                  Debs wrote: You mean you expect Spam to make sense????? No... which is eactly why I said "I don't mind clever spam." The day that happens, I won't mind it at all, I might even frame it. :-D Debs wrote: This is not an invitation or a challenge to anyone LOL Too late though, people would have only read the first half of the sentence and then would be off creating a clever spam to your challenge ;)

                  Paul Watson
                  Bluegrass
                  Cape Town, South Africa

                  Roger Wright wrote: Using a feather is kinky; using the whole chicken is perverted!

                  B Offline
                  B Offline
                  benjymous
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #27

                  Hmm - I just checked my old ISP email account that I gave up downloading at the end of December. 410 mails, 2 of which weren't spam -- Help me! I'm turning into a grapefruit!

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                  • P Paul Watson

                    Bit rude so avoid if you are a prude. Got this through spam today: "90% OF MEN HAVE A SMALLER THAN AVERAGE PENIS - ARE YOU ONE OF THEM ?" Paul: Oh no! 90%?!?! God, I thought I might be average, but 90%? That is a lot! Where's their number.... Oh wait a minute... how can 90% be below average? Surely the average would reflect the 90%? So if 90% had 7inches then fine, 90% can't be below average, right? I don't mind clever spam, but stupid spam is just sad and a waste of time for everyone.

                    Paul Watson
                    Bluegrass
                    Cape Town, South Africa

                    Roger Wright wrote: Using a feather is kinky; using the whole chicken is perverted!

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                    Roger Allen
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #28

                    Ahem, err, erm, ..... could you foward it to me? I may be in need..... :-O X| ;P Roger Allen Sonork 100.10016 WHats brown and sticky? A stick or some smelly stuff!

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                    • P Paul Watson

                      Bit rude so avoid if you are a prude. Got this through spam today: "90% OF MEN HAVE A SMALLER THAN AVERAGE PENIS - ARE YOU ONE OF THEM ?" Paul: Oh no! 90%?!?! God, I thought I might be average, but 90%? That is a lot! Where's their number.... Oh wait a minute... how can 90% be below average? Surely the average would reflect the 90%? So if 90% had 7inches then fine, 90% can't be below average, right? I don't mind clever spam, but stupid spam is just sad and a waste of time for everyone.

                      Paul Watson
                      Bluegrass
                      Cape Town, South Africa

                      Roger Wright wrote: Using a feather is kinky; using the whole chicken is perverted!

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                      peterchen
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #29

                      It's possible if, e.g. you and 8 other pauls, have a measely below-average useless unsatisfying laughable 7", and I have a proud strong womanizing 7.1". Avg = (9*7 + 7.1) / 10 = 7.01" > 7". So what the stats say is that a bigger-than-avg occurs more often than a smaller-than-average.


                      It's a royal pain to watch a sex drugs and rock'n'roll design decay into an aids crack and techno implementation  [sighist] [Agile Programming] [doxygen]

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                      • P peterchen

                        It's possible if, e.g. you and 8 other pauls, have a measely below-average useless unsatisfying laughable 7", and I have a proud strong womanizing 7.1". Avg = (9*7 + 7.1) / 10 = 7.01" > 7". So what the stats say is that a bigger-than-avg occurs more often than a smaller-than-average.


                        It's a royal pain to watch a sex drugs and rock'n'roll design decay into an aids crack and techno implementation  [sighist] [Agile Programming] [doxygen]

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                        Paul Watson
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #30

                        peterchen wrote: So what the stats say is that a bigger-than-avg occurs more often than a smaller-than-average. Thing is, they have never measured me, so how can they claim that is the average, hmmm? p.s. You spent way to much time working that math out, go see a doctor ;)

                        Paul Watson
                        Bluegrass
                        Cape Town, South Africa

                        Roger Wright wrote: Using a feather is kinky; using the whole chicken is perverted!

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                        • J Joao Vaz

                          Paul Watson wrote: I always click on a Roger Wright post, even if the topic is not my cup of tea. He always has something witty, intelligent or just plain hilarious to say Yeah, we are two then ... :-D Cheers,Joao Vaz And if your dream is to care for your family, to put food on the table, to provide them with an education and a good home, then maybe suffering through an endless, pointless, boring job will seem to have purpose. And you will realize how even a rock can change the world, simply by remaining obstinately stationary.-Shog9 Remember just because a good thing comes to an end, doesn't mean that the next one can't be better.-Chris Meech

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                          Paul Watson
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #31

                          Joao Vaz wrote: Yeah, we are two then So is the 22nd or the 24th a good time to meet for our first annual Roger Wright The Incredible fan club?

                          Paul Watson
                          Bluegrass
                          Cape Town, South Africa

                          Roger Wright wrote: Using a feather is kinky; using the whole chicken is perverted!

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                          • P Paul Watson

                            peterchen wrote: So what the stats say is that a bigger-than-avg occurs more often than a smaller-than-average. Thing is, they have never measured me, so how can they claim that is the average, hmmm? p.s. You spent way to much time working that math out, go see a doctor ;)

                            Paul Watson
                            Bluegrass
                            Cape Town, South Africa

                            Roger Wright wrote: Using a feather is kinky; using the whole chicken is perverted!

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                            peterchen
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #32

                            Paul Watson wrote: Thing is, they have never measured me Solution a) Your penis size is insignificant in the greater scheme of things Solution b) They *know* ;P Paul Watson wrote: p.s. You spent way to much time working that math out, go see a doctor I just called him, and it went like this: "Hi Pete" (I *hate* it when he calls me Pete) "Hi Psycho" Silence, I can feel him smiling this "You can't kill me over the phone!" smile, which grates on my nerves like alligator skin on Kim Catrall (i.e. he hates my nickname for him, too, but obviously he copes much better) I swallow my anger, and begin: "We had this penis size thing again..." He says "I'm unhappy, Pete. Didn't we solve this problem some weeks ago, Pete?" (ok, he doesn't cope *that* good) Me: "No, no, It was just, about spam, you know!" Him: "How much did you spend again, Pete?" Well, odds lead to ends, I need a new psychatrist.


                            It's a royal pain to watch a sex drugs and rock'n'roll design decay into an aids crack and techno implementation  [sighist] [Agile Programming] [doxygen]

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                            • P peterchen

                              Paul Watson wrote: Thing is, they have never measured me Solution a) Your penis size is insignificant in the greater scheme of things Solution b) They *know* ;P Paul Watson wrote: p.s. You spent way to much time working that math out, go see a doctor I just called him, and it went like this: "Hi Pete" (I *hate* it when he calls me Pete) "Hi Psycho" Silence, I can feel him smiling this "You can't kill me over the phone!" smile, which grates on my nerves like alligator skin on Kim Catrall (i.e. he hates my nickname for him, too, but obviously he copes much better) I swallow my anger, and begin: "We had this penis size thing again..." He says "I'm unhappy, Pete. Didn't we solve this problem some weeks ago, Pete?" (ok, he doesn't cope *that* good) Me: "No, no, It was just, about spam, you know!" Him: "How much did you spend again, Pete?" Well, odds lead to ends, I need a new psychatrist.


                              It's a royal pain to watch a sex drugs and rock'n'roll design decay into an aids crack and techno implementation  [sighist] [Agile Programming] [doxygen]

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                              Paul Watson
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #33

                              peterchen wrote: Well, odds lead to ends, I need a new psychatrist. No, I reckon a padded cell without internet access would be a good thing... for us. ;) peterchen wrote: Solution b) They *know* Ooooohhhh. But if they did *know*, the Guiness people would be around, with a big tape measure*. :rolleyes: *Paul struts* * I was going to leave that off... but then realise the obvious counter would "oh? for the worlds smallest penis huh?" so I left it on. Oh, and if you don't like the nickname... don't publish it on a public website :)

                              Paul Watson
                              Bluegrass
                              Cape Town, South Africa

                              Roger Wright wrote: Using a feather is kinky; using the whole chicken is perverted!

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                              • P Paul Watson

                                peterchen wrote: So what the stats say is that a bigger-than-avg occurs more often than a smaller-than-average. Thing is, they have never measured me, so how can they claim that is the average, hmmm? p.s. You spent way to much time working that math out, go see a doctor ;)

                                Paul Watson
                                Bluegrass
                                Cape Town, South Africa

                                Roger Wright wrote: Using a feather is kinky; using the whole chicken is perverted!

                                D Offline
                                D Offline
                                Debs 0
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #34

                                Paul Watson wrote: Thing is, they have never measured me, so how can they claim that is the average, hmmm? It does beg the question who actually *has* had their todger that close to a ruler, and *ahem* in what particular state it was at the time... I guess there are some valid statistics out there for such things, rather than those that are invented by these spam merchants? So who carries the clipboard for the statistics?? What a job! How would that get described on a CV?? Debbie

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                                • P Paul Watson

                                  Bit rude so avoid if you are a prude. Got this through spam today: "90% OF MEN HAVE A SMALLER THAN AVERAGE PENIS - ARE YOU ONE OF THEM ?" Paul: Oh no! 90%?!?! God, I thought I might be average, but 90%? That is a lot! Where's their number.... Oh wait a minute... how can 90% be below average? Surely the average would reflect the 90%? So if 90% had 7inches then fine, 90% can't be below average, right? I don't mind clever spam, but stupid spam is just sad and a waste of time for everyone.

                                  Paul Watson
                                  Bluegrass
                                  Cape Town, South Africa

                                  Roger Wright wrote: Using a feather is kinky; using the whole chicken is perverted!

                                  K Offline
                                  K Offline
                                  Konstantin Vasserman
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #35

                                  What I want to know is how is it even possible for anyone to have figures like an average penis size. It's not like they are measuring and recording the size every time you visit a doctor: Nurse: "Let me just take a few measurements: Your weight? Height? Penis size?"... :eek: And it's not like you can trust any kind of survey on the subject they can conduct... I mean, how many people can you expect to be completely honest about this... :~ :)

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                                  • K Konstantin Vasserman

                                    What I want to know is how is it even possible for anyone to have figures like an average penis size. It's not like they are measuring and recording the size every time you visit a doctor: Nurse: "Let me just take a few measurements: Your weight? Height? Penis size?"... :eek: And it's not like you can trust any kind of survey on the subject they can conduct... I mean, how many people can you expect to be completely honest about this... :~ :)

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                                    Paul Watson
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #36

                                    Konstantin Vasserman wrote: What I want to know is how is it even possible for anyone to have figures like an average penis size. It's not like they are measuring and recording the size every time you visit a doctor: Maybe not every time you visit the doctor but apparently there have been many surveys done, with proper measurements taken, of thousands of men. Can't say my doctor has ever asked me to participate, but they do happen. Konstantin Vasserman wrote: I mean, how many people can you expect to be completely honest about this Sad that we can't trust people on this. Also how many of us have actually measured ourselves and so how many of us can even be honest? I can't.

                                    Paul Watson
                                    Bluegrass
                                    Cape Town, South Africa

                                    Roger Wright wrote: Using a feather is kinky; using the whole chicken is perverted!

                                    K D 2 Replies Last reply
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                                    • D Debs 0

                                      Paul Watson wrote: Thing is, they have never measured me, so how can they claim that is the average, hmmm? It does beg the question who actually *has* had their todger that close to a ruler, and *ahem* in what particular state it was at the time... I guess there are some valid statistics out there for such things, rather than those that are invented by these spam merchants? So who carries the clipboard for the statistics?? What a job! How would that get described on a CV?? Debbie

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                                      P Offline
                                      Paul Watson
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #37

                                      Debs wrote: It does beg the question who actually *has* had their todger that close to a ruler, and *ahem* in what particular state it was at the time... Well boys are boys and I can name a couple of times I have walked into the locker room after rugby practice to find the jocks measuring each other. Apparently it is important to them, like a contest. And yes, the most shudder worthy part was they certainly were in states of arousal, no good measuring a non-aroused WMD. Thankfully none of them liked me, the feeling was mutual, and I just went and used the other showers. Debs wrote: So who carries the clipboard for the statistics?? What a job! How would that get described on a CV?? There is a special interest programme here in South Africa called Carte Blanche, and one episode they were on the subject of swinging. And there, on TV, was the Measurement Queen. I kid you not. She would go around to the homes of men who wanted to join the swingers club and measure them to see if they could get in. :| People do odd things. Their life, but it is still weird.

                                      Paul Watson
                                      Bluegrass
                                      Cape Town, South Africa

                                      Roger Wright wrote: Using a feather is kinky; using the whole chicken is perverted!

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                                      • P Paul Watson

                                        Joao Vaz wrote: Yeah, we are two then So is the 22nd or the 24th a good time to meet for our first annual Roger Wright The Incredible fan club?

                                        Paul Watson
                                        Bluegrass
                                        Cape Town, South Africa

                                        Roger Wright wrote: Using a feather is kinky; using the whole chicken is perverted!

                                        K Offline
                                        K Offline
                                        KaRl
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #38

                                        I'm free for the 24th :)


                                        Angels banished from heaven have no choice but to become demons Cowboy Bebop

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                                        • B benjymous

                                          Hmm - I just checked my old ISP email account that I gave up downloading at the end of December. 410 mails, 2 of which weren't spam -- Help me! I'm turning into a grapefruit!

                                          A Offline
                                          A Offline
                                          Anna Jayne Metcalfe
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #39

                                          My old ISP account is connected to a spam filter which bounces anything it doesn't like (i.e. most of them). :laugh: Anna :rose: www.annasplace.me.uk

                                          "Be yourself - not what others think you should be"
                                          - Marcia Graesch

                                          Trouble with resource IDs? Try the Resource ID Organiser Add-In for Visual C++

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