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  4. 24 extremely bad chauvinist JOTD

24 extremely bad chauvinist JOTD

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  • J Jorgen Sigvardsson

    I got this in my mailbox (from a government employed friend of mine). I find it funny and disturbing at the same time. Two for the price of one, hooray!

    24 jokes to piss off women 1 Why did God create Woman? To carry sperm from the bedroom to the toilet. 2 If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love? the swallow. 3 How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex? By phoning her. 4 Why do woman fake orgasms? Because they think men care. 5 What is the definition of "making love"? Its something a woman does while a guy is fucking her. 6 Whats the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day and anal sex make your (w)hole weak. 7 How many sexists does it take to change a light bulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark. 8 Whats the difference between PMT and BSE? Ones mad cow disease and the other is an agriculteral problem. 9 Why does the bride get married in white? Because its good to have the dishwasher match the toaster and fridge. 10 What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing, shes been told twice already. 11 What time is it when your wife comes out of the kitchen to nag at you? Time to shorten the chain on the sink. 12 How do you change a fox into an elephant? Marry it. 13 What's the difference between a woman and a battery? A battery has a positive side. 14 How are fat girls and mopeds alike? They are both fun to ride until your friends find out. 15 What should you give a woman who has everything? A man to show her how to work it. 16 How are tornadoes and marriage alike? They both begin with a lot of blowing and sucking and in the end you loseyour house. 17 Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle? Because she knows that she has given her last blowjob. 18 What is the difference between your wife and your job? After 10 years your job still sucks. 19 What's the difference between love, true love and showing off? Spitting, swallowing and gargling 20 Why is the space between a womans tits and her hips called a "waist"? Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there. 21 Why do they call it the "Wonderbra"? Because when she takes it off you wonder where her tits went. 22 How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it. 23 Why did the woman cross the road? What's the bitch doing out of the kitchen in the first place?. 24 How is a woman lik

    H Offline
    H Offline
    HENDRIK R
    wrote on last edited by
    #2

    Oops, now I remember: it's valentines day - and one can really feel it here on CP, with all the love and gentleness around :). But I've still no present for my girl-friend :rose: ... so should I try sth. new and send her a letter full of jokes :confused:

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    • H HENDRIK R

      Oops, now I remember: it's valentines day - and one can really feel it here on CP, with all the love and gentleness around :). But I've still no present for my girl-friend :rose: ... so should I try sth. new and send her a letter full of jokes :confused:

      J Offline
      J Offline
      Jorgen Sigvardsson
      wrote on last edited by
      #3

      Schlaubi wrote: so should I try sth. new and send her a letter full of jokes Not if you value your life. :) -- "And God said, Let us make man in our image"

      1 Reply Last reply
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      • J Jorgen Sigvardsson

        I got this in my mailbox (from a government employed friend of mine). I find it funny and disturbing at the same time. Two for the price of one, hooray!

        24 jokes to piss off women 1 Why did God create Woman? To carry sperm from the bedroom to the toilet. 2 If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love? the swallow. 3 How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex? By phoning her. 4 Why do woman fake orgasms? Because they think men care. 5 What is the definition of "making love"? Its something a woman does while a guy is fucking her. 6 Whats the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day and anal sex make your (w)hole weak. 7 How many sexists does it take to change a light bulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark. 8 Whats the difference between PMT and BSE? Ones mad cow disease and the other is an agriculteral problem. 9 Why does the bride get married in white? Because its good to have the dishwasher match the toaster and fridge. 10 What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing, shes been told twice already. 11 What time is it when your wife comes out of the kitchen to nag at you? Time to shorten the chain on the sink. 12 How do you change a fox into an elephant? Marry it. 13 What's the difference between a woman and a battery? A battery has a positive side. 14 How are fat girls and mopeds alike? They are both fun to ride until your friends find out. 15 What should you give a woman who has everything? A man to show her how to work it. 16 How are tornadoes and marriage alike? They both begin with a lot of blowing and sucking and in the end you loseyour house. 17 Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle? Because she knows that she has given her last blowjob. 18 What is the difference between your wife and your job? After 10 years your job still sucks. 19 What's the difference between love, true love and showing off? Spitting, swallowing and gargling 20 Why is the space between a womans tits and her hips called a "waist"? Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there. 21 Why do they call it the "Wonderbra"? Because when she takes it off you wonder where her tits went. 22 How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it. 23 Why did the woman cross the road? What's the bitch doing out of the kitchen in the first place?. 24 How is a woman lik

        K Offline
        K Offline
        KaRl
        wrote on last edited by
        #4

        Let's go in the bad taste too, put the children and sensitive people away: "Nowadays women work like men, get dressed like men, swear like men, drive like men, and afterwards they are astonished that they are fucked in the ass" (Patrick Timsit) (Aujourd'hui, les femmes travaillent comme des mecs, s'habillent comme des mecs, jurent comme des mecs, conduisent comme des mecs, et après elles s'étonnent qu'on les encule)

        Angels banished from heaven have no choice but to become demons Cowboy Bebop

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        • K KaRl

          Let's go in the bad taste too, put the children and sensitive people away: "Nowadays women work like men, get dressed like men, swear like men, drive like men, and afterwards they are astonished that they are fucked in the ass" (Patrick Timsit) (Aujourd'hui, les femmes travaillent comme des mecs, s'habillent comme des mecs, jurent comme des mecs, conduisent comme des mecs, et après elles s'étonnent qu'on les encule)

          Angels banished from heaven have no choice but to become demons Cowboy Bebop

          J Offline
          J Offline
          Jorgen Sigvardsson
          wrote on last edited by
          #5

          :omg: -- "And God said, Let us make man in our image"

          K 1 Reply Last reply
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          • J Jorgen Sigvardsson

            :omg: -- "And God said, Let us make man in our image"

            K Offline
            K Offline
            KaRl
            wrote on last edited by
            #6

            I know :-O

            Angels banished from heaven have no choice but to become demons Cowboy Bebop

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • J Jorgen Sigvardsson

              I got this in my mailbox (from a government employed friend of mine). I find it funny and disturbing at the same time. Two for the price of one, hooray!

              24 jokes to piss off women 1 Why did God create Woman? To carry sperm from the bedroom to the toilet. 2 If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love? the swallow. 3 How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex? By phoning her. 4 Why do woman fake orgasms? Because they think men care. 5 What is the definition of "making love"? Its something a woman does while a guy is fucking her. 6 Whats the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day and anal sex make your (w)hole weak. 7 How many sexists does it take to change a light bulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark. 8 Whats the difference between PMT and BSE? Ones mad cow disease and the other is an agriculteral problem. 9 Why does the bride get married in white? Because its good to have the dishwasher match the toaster and fridge. 10 What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing, shes been told twice already. 11 What time is it when your wife comes out of the kitchen to nag at you? Time to shorten the chain on the sink. 12 How do you change a fox into an elephant? Marry it. 13 What's the difference between a woman and a battery? A battery has a positive side. 14 How are fat girls and mopeds alike? They are both fun to ride until your friends find out. 15 What should you give a woman who has everything? A man to show her how to work it. 16 How are tornadoes and marriage alike? They both begin with a lot of blowing and sucking and in the end you loseyour house. 17 Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle? Because she knows that she has given her last blowjob. 18 What is the difference between your wife and your job? After 10 years your job still sucks. 19 What's the difference between love, true love and showing off? Spitting, swallowing and gargling 20 Why is the space between a womans tits and her hips called a "waist"? Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there. 21 Why do they call it the "Wonderbra"? Because when she takes it off you wonder where her tits went. 22 How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it. 23 Why did the woman cross the road? What's the bitch doing out of the kitchen in the first place?. 24 How is a woman lik

              N Offline
              N Offline
              Nick Parker
              wrote on last edited by
              #7

              :laugh:

              Nick Parker

              The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything. - Theodore Roosevelt

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • J Jorgen Sigvardsson

                I got this in my mailbox (from a government employed friend of mine). I find it funny and disturbing at the same time. Two for the price of one, hooray!

                24 jokes to piss off women 1 Why did God create Woman? To carry sperm from the bedroom to the toilet. 2 If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love? the swallow. 3 How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex? By phoning her. 4 Why do woman fake orgasms? Because they think men care. 5 What is the definition of "making love"? Its something a woman does while a guy is fucking her. 6 Whats the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day and anal sex make your (w)hole weak. 7 How many sexists does it take to change a light bulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark. 8 Whats the difference between PMT and BSE? Ones mad cow disease and the other is an agriculteral problem. 9 Why does the bride get married in white? Because its good to have the dishwasher match the toaster and fridge. 10 What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing, shes been told twice already. 11 What time is it when your wife comes out of the kitchen to nag at you? Time to shorten the chain on the sink. 12 How do you change a fox into an elephant? Marry it. 13 What's the difference between a woman and a battery? A battery has a positive side. 14 How are fat girls and mopeds alike? They are both fun to ride until your friends find out. 15 What should you give a woman who has everything? A man to show her how to work it. 16 How are tornadoes and marriage alike? They both begin with a lot of blowing and sucking and in the end you loseyour house. 17 Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle? Because she knows that she has given her last blowjob. 18 What is the difference between your wife and your job? After 10 years your job still sucks. 19 What's the difference between love, true love and showing off? Spitting, swallowing and gargling 20 Why is the space between a womans tits and her hips called a "waist"? Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there. 21 Why do they call it the "Wonderbra"? Because when she takes it off you wonder where her tits went. 22 How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it. 23 Why did the woman cross the road? What's the bitch doing out of the kitchen in the first place?. 24 How is a woman lik

                L Offline
                L Offline
                Lost User
                wrote on last edited by
                #8

                No valentines card today then ? ;P The tigress is here :-D

                J 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • J Jorgen Sigvardsson

                  I got this in my mailbox (from a government employed friend of mine). I find it funny and disturbing at the same time. Two for the price of one, hooray!

                  24 jokes to piss off women 1 Why did God create Woman? To carry sperm from the bedroom to the toilet. 2 If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love? the swallow. 3 How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex? By phoning her. 4 Why do woman fake orgasms? Because they think men care. 5 What is the definition of "making love"? Its something a woman does while a guy is fucking her. 6 Whats the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day and anal sex make your (w)hole weak. 7 How many sexists does it take to change a light bulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark. 8 Whats the difference between PMT and BSE? Ones mad cow disease and the other is an agriculteral problem. 9 Why does the bride get married in white? Because its good to have the dishwasher match the toaster and fridge. 10 What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing, shes been told twice already. 11 What time is it when your wife comes out of the kitchen to nag at you? Time to shorten the chain on the sink. 12 How do you change a fox into an elephant? Marry it. 13 What's the difference between a woman and a battery? A battery has a positive side. 14 How are fat girls and mopeds alike? They are both fun to ride until your friends find out. 15 What should you give a woman who has everything? A man to show her how to work it. 16 How are tornadoes and marriage alike? They both begin with a lot of blowing and sucking and in the end you loseyour house. 17 Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle? Because she knows that she has given her last blowjob. 18 What is the difference between your wife and your job? After 10 years your job still sucks. 19 What's the difference between love, true love and showing off? Spitting, swallowing and gargling 20 Why is the space between a womans tits and her hips called a "waist"? Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there. 21 Why do they call it the "Wonderbra"? Because when she takes it off you wonder where her tits went. 22 How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it. 23 Why did the woman cross the road? What's the bitch doing out of the kitchen in the first place?. 24 How is a woman lik

                  B Offline
                  B Offline
                  brianwelsch
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #9

                  Nice. :laugh: BW "We get general information and specific information, but none of the specific information talks about time, place or methods or means..." - Tom Ridge - US Secretary of Homeland Security

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                  • L Lost User

                    No valentines card today then ? ;P The tigress is here :-D

                    J Offline
                    J Offline
                    Jorgen Sigvardsson
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #10

                    Nope. :( However, I'm an optimist. I've got 6.75 more hours left to find someone. :) -- "And God said, Let us make man in our image"

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                    0
                    • J Jorgen Sigvardsson

                      I got this in my mailbox (from a government employed friend of mine). I find it funny and disturbing at the same time. Two for the price of one, hooray!

                      24 jokes to piss off women 1 Why did God create Woman? To carry sperm from the bedroom to the toilet. 2 If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love? the swallow. 3 How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex? By phoning her. 4 Why do woman fake orgasms? Because they think men care. 5 What is the definition of "making love"? Its something a woman does while a guy is fucking her. 6 Whats the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day and anal sex make your (w)hole weak. 7 How many sexists does it take to change a light bulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark. 8 Whats the difference between PMT and BSE? Ones mad cow disease and the other is an agriculteral problem. 9 Why does the bride get married in white? Because its good to have the dishwasher match the toaster and fridge. 10 What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing, shes been told twice already. 11 What time is it when your wife comes out of the kitchen to nag at you? Time to shorten the chain on the sink. 12 How do you change a fox into an elephant? Marry it. 13 What's the difference between a woman and a battery? A battery has a positive side. 14 How are fat girls and mopeds alike? They are both fun to ride until your friends find out. 15 What should you give a woman who has everything? A man to show her how to work it. 16 How are tornadoes and marriage alike? They both begin with a lot of blowing and sucking and in the end you loseyour house. 17 Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle? Because she knows that she has given her last blowjob. 18 What is the difference between your wife and your job? After 10 years your job still sucks. 19 What's the difference between love, true love and showing off? Spitting, swallowing and gargling 20 Why is the space between a womans tits and her hips called a "waist"? Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there. 21 Why do they call it the "Wonderbra"? Because when she takes it off you wonder where her tits went. 22 How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it. 23 Why did the woman cross the road? What's the bitch doing out of the kitchen in the first place?. 24 How is a woman lik

                      J Offline
                      J Offline
                      Jeremy Falcon
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #11

                      ROFLMAO! Jeremy Falcon Imputek

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                      • J Jorgen Sigvardsson

                        I got this in my mailbox (from a government employed friend of mine). I find it funny and disturbing at the same time. Two for the price of one, hooray!

                        24 jokes to piss off women 1 Why did God create Woman? To carry sperm from the bedroom to the toilet. 2 If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love? the swallow. 3 How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex? By phoning her. 4 Why do woman fake orgasms? Because they think men care. 5 What is the definition of "making love"? Its something a woman does while a guy is fucking her. 6 Whats the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day and anal sex make your (w)hole weak. 7 How many sexists does it take to change a light bulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark. 8 Whats the difference between PMT and BSE? Ones mad cow disease and the other is an agriculteral problem. 9 Why does the bride get married in white? Because its good to have the dishwasher match the toaster and fridge. 10 What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing, shes been told twice already. 11 What time is it when your wife comes out of the kitchen to nag at you? Time to shorten the chain on the sink. 12 How do you change a fox into an elephant? Marry it. 13 What's the difference between a woman and a battery? A battery has a positive side. 14 How are fat girls and mopeds alike? They are both fun to ride until your friends find out. 15 What should you give a woman who has everything? A man to show her how to work it. 16 How are tornadoes and marriage alike? They both begin with a lot of blowing and sucking and in the end you loseyour house. 17 Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle? Because she knows that she has given her last blowjob. 18 What is the difference between your wife and your job? After 10 years your job still sucks. 19 What's the difference between love, true love and showing off? Spitting, swallowing and gargling 20 Why is the space between a womans tits and her hips called a "waist"? Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there. 21 Why do they call it the "Wonderbra"? Because when she takes it off you wonder where her tits went. 22 How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it. 23 Why did the woman cross the road? What's the bitch doing out of the kitchen in the first place?. 24 How is a woman lik

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                        B Offline
                        Brad Jennings
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #12

                        :laugh::laugh::laugh: Awesome jokes man. My father is always finding jokes like these and passing them on to my brother and I. Brad Jennings "if the golden arches shut shop, where else are the VB people going to get work." - Colin Davies

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