Entertainment: Humour: Comebacks

[Paul Watson]

The cop got out of his car and the kid he had stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket. A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas." A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub." A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead." The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 a.m.?" asked the officer. "I'm going to a lecture," the man said. "And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked. "My wife," said the man.

Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South Africa

Macbeth muttered: I am in blood / Stepped in so far, that should I wade no more, / Returning were as tedious as go o'er DavidW wrote: You are totally mad. Nice.

[Jorgen Sigvardsson]

:omg: Those jokes were terrible! :-D -- Tune your mind, reach inside, peel away Touch, Taste, Feel, Saturation

[Jeremy Falcon]

:laugh: Good One Jeremy Falcon "so be it, threaten no more, to secure peace is to prepare for war" - Metallica

[Roger Wright]

Well done!!:laugh::laugh::laugh: Ancient man conquered his rivals with the jawbone of an ass; modern man uses the jawbone of a politician.

[Jamie Hale]

Along similar (sort of) lines, this one is paraphrased from a very old Road & Track: A man and his wife were pulled over while driving along the highway. The officer asked, "Do you realize you were doing 20MPH over the limit?" The woman, in the passenger seat, spoke up, "You just give him a ticket officer. He was driving too fast and not paying any attention. He's a dangerous reckless driver and he should be punished. I've always told him if he drives too fast he's going to get a ticket. I always tell him." The officer paused, then asked, "Sir, is this your wife?" The driver nodded glumly. The officer snapped his ticket book shut, stepped back and said, "Drive on, brother." J

"You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant."