First things first. You may be "depressed" because of some weird "chemical problem" in your brain. Certain people have certain problems on various levels. We all do. The only thing you can do is choose how to combat those problems. You can't get rid of those chemicals and in my opinion atitude altering drugs are just admitting defeat. Your choice. But back to the computers. So are you in or not in college? And you would like to get a job as a programmer? If you want to enter the field I would recommend getting a BS in Computer Science. But if you're really really smart and can demonstrate that and are willing to work hard enough you might be able to get a job. I really don't know. As far as learning a language. I would choose unmanaged C++ or C#. C++ will be a little harder to learn but mroe rewarding. C# has some awesome features and you can do so much with it. I would start with C#, but you decide. Then pick a small program to make. Maybe even one to solve a quadratic equation. It has to be something you can accomplish in a short time span or you'll probably give up (I've made thsi mistake many times). Then set a slightly higher goal. Perhaps creating an address book using a database or text file. Then set a higher goal. Never try and reach farther then your arm can already go. Also, there is great support and some great books out there for every language so don't feel that you've made a "wrong" choice in picking your first big language.