Here's another one... ------------------------ What My Parents taught me... My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!" My mother taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." My father taught me LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why." My mother taught me FORESIGHT - "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." My father taught me IRONY - "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about." My father taught me about the science of OSMOSIS - "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!" My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM - "Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!" My mother taught me about STAMINA - "You'll sit there 'til alll that spinach is finished." My mother taught me about WEATHER - "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room." My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY - "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!" My father taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION - "Stop acting like your father!" My mother taught me about ENVY - "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!" I'd give proper attribution but I don't know who wrote it. Lor
