Looking for advice on buying an engagement ring
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I have been with my girlfriend for just over 3 years now and we have lived together since last March/April. Well, I guess I will say a few words about us before I ask for advice... We met on the internet (matchmaker.com) on the first day of 2003 and had our first date on January 11th 2003, which was a day after my birthday and two before hers. This year I turned 34 on the 10th and she has turned 37 on the 13th of January. As the days go by, it has become increasingly clear that she is the one and I am 100% sure that she feels the same way about me. I guess this has been enough babble, now to the question... I have already thought through how and where I will ask the big question. I am not even the slightest bit worried about her answer but I am extremely worried about the ring as I find myself knowing very little. I know a lot of people take their girlfriend to the jewelry store to pick out the ring but I think this totally takes out all of the surprise factor. But if I don't I have no clue what her size is. And then I am very worried that I am going to be ripped off as I know nothing about rings a slick salesman will spot this in a second. While composing this I did find a webpage http://www.soyouwanna.com/site/syws/ring/ring.html[^] that seems to have some good advice (I have not been through the whole thing) but I still want to ask if anyone would share some of their advice... Thanks in Advance, John
You've known her three years, been living together for a while, and are sure she's the one etc. So why have an engagement, why don't you just go for marriage? Or is marriage not an option here? Regards, Nish
My blog : Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET
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You've known her three years, been living together for a while, and are sure she's the one etc. So why have an engagement, why don't you just go for marriage? Or is marriage not an option here? Regards, Nish
My blog : Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET
If they're going to have a wedding, the impending wedding should be announced to friends and family. Even a simple wedding requires months of planning and plenty of notice for potential guests. Eloping is always an option, though! I would recommend it (if your fiance is into it) because weddings are a pain!
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I have been with my girlfriend for just over 3 years now and we have lived together since last March/April. Well, I guess I will say a few words about us before I ask for advice... We met on the internet (matchmaker.com) on the first day of 2003 and had our first date on January 11th 2003, which was a day after my birthday and two before hers. This year I turned 34 on the 10th and she has turned 37 on the 13th of January. As the days go by, it has become increasingly clear that she is the one and I am 100% sure that she feels the same way about me. I guess this has been enough babble, now to the question... I have already thought through how and where I will ask the big question. I am not even the slightest bit worried about her answer but I am extremely worried about the ring as I find myself knowing very little. I know a lot of people take their girlfriend to the jewelry store to pick out the ring but I think this totally takes out all of the surprise factor. But if I don't I have no clue what her size is. And then I am very worried that I am going to be ripped off as I know nothing about rings a slick salesman will spot this in a second. While composing this I did find a webpage http://www.soyouwanna.com/site/syws/ring/ring.html[^] that seems to have some good advice (I have not been through the whole thing) but I still want to ask if anyone would share some of their advice... Thanks in Advance, John
John M. Drescher wrote:
I know a lot of people take their girlfriend to the jewelry store to pick out the ring but I think this totally takes out all of the surprise factor.
There should be no surprise. Since it is something she will wear from now on, her input as to its size, color, and style is very important.
John M. Drescher wrote:
And then I am very worried that I am going to be ripped off as I know nothing about rings a slick salesman will spot this in a second.
Go to a reputable jewelry store. The rest can be explained in detail here.
"The words of God are not like the oak leaf which dies and falls to the earth, but like the pine tree which stays green forever." - Native American Proverb
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I know the best place you can buy diamond without getting ripped off is at the warehouse club Costco. The amazon.com diamon store is pretty good (it is a good example of an AJAX website). Amazon.com diamond store[^]
Rama Krishna Vavilala wrote:
...warehouse club Costco.
That word alone would cause me to run the other way.
Rama Krishna Vavilala wrote:
The amazon.com diamon store is pretty good especially because it is a good example of an AJAX website.
I would seriously question anyone that based their diamond purchase on whether AJAX was involved or not. :rolleyes:
"The words of God are not like the oak leaf which dies and falls to the earth, but like the pine tree which stays green forever." - Native American Proverb
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If they're going to have a wedding, the impending wedding should be announced to friends and family. Even a simple wedding requires months of planning and plenty of notice for potential guests. Eloping is always an option, though! I would recommend it (if your fiance is into it) because weddings are a pain!
I know my girlfriend would prefer an elopment but both our families would be very against that. John
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Congratulations! I was married last May (and engaged a year and a half before that) and learned quite a bit about rings. Here are my tips: 1. DO take her shopping to get ideas. I'm sure you've at least discussed marriage so she is aware or suspicious that it might be coming. You don't have to buy a particular ring that she looks at, but there are many styles of ring (e.g. eternity, tiffany, sidestones) and she surely prefers one over the rest. There's also color (white gold, platinum or yellow gold), but you can get that idea from the color of jewelry or watch she typically wears. And of course diamond cut (round, princess, emerald, etc...) and she will have a favorite. 2. To get her size, steal a ring that you know fits her but that she won't know is missing. They can size it at a jeweler. 3. Do not buy at a mall or major chain. They rip you off. See if you can purchase from a wholesaler or someone like BlueNile. 4. Buy your diamond loose. You will get a better deal on the stone because this is how good diamonds are always purchased. You can also see any imperfections that a setting might hide, and you will be able to fit it with the setting of your choice (ehem...your soon to be fiance's choice). 5. Learn the 4 C's and all that. It really makes a difference and you can tell if you're getting a good deal. I researched perfect proportions (as in my opinion cut is the most important of the 4 C's) and was able to get a diamond that was very brilliant. My wife gets many compliments. 6. If your wife likes white jewelry, get platinum if you can afford it. White gold is just not nearly as good. If you do go for white gold, make sure and ask if it's rhodium plated and avoid it if it is. Rhodium-plated jewelry wears off and makes the jewelry look like crap after a while...and this is supposed to be a lifetime piece of jewelry. 7. make sure the diamond is GIA certified. IGI and the other (can't remember the name) overstates the quality of diamonds. So assume that an IGI certificate is 1 color and one clarity level lower than what a GIA certificate states...and the GIA certificate is the accurate one. I got my wife a 1.5 carat, radiant cut (near perfect proportion), G color VS1 clarity in a platinum eternity setting (with matching eternity wedding band when we got hitched) from a store that sells diamonds at wholesale prices in atlanta (Solomonbrothers.com). I was not able to find anything cheaper, and you can see their diamond inventory and prices online. Their settings are overpriced, though.
espeir wrote:
I'm sure you've at least discussed marriage so she is aware or suspicious that it might be coming.
We have talked about it and I know she expects it to come soon.
espeir wrote:
To get her size, steal a ring that you know fits her but that she won't know is missing.
This is a hard one. As she does not wear any rings and she does not have a jewelry box. Thanks for the other adice. I will try to take it all in... John
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Rama Krishna Vavilala wrote:
...warehouse club Costco.
That word alone would cause me to run the other way.
Rama Krishna Vavilala wrote:
The amazon.com diamon store is pretty good especially because it is a good example of an AJAX website.
I would seriously question anyone that based their diamond purchase on whether AJAX was involved or not. :rolleyes:
"The words of God are not like the oak leaf which dies and falls to the earth, but like the pine tree which stays green forever." - Native American Proverb
DavidCrow wrote:
That word alone would cause me to run the other way.
Why?:confused:
DavidCrow wrote:
I would seriously question anyone that based their diamond purchase on whether AJAX was involved or not
I am not saying that he should buy because the site is developed in AJAX. I think it is a pretty good website.
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I have been with my girlfriend for just over 3 years now and we have lived together since last March/April. Well, I guess I will say a few words about us before I ask for advice... We met on the internet (matchmaker.com) on the first day of 2003 and had our first date on January 11th 2003, which was a day after my birthday and two before hers. This year I turned 34 on the 10th and she has turned 37 on the 13th of January. As the days go by, it has become increasingly clear that she is the one and I am 100% sure that she feels the same way about me. I guess this has been enough babble, now to the question... I have already thought through how and where I will ask the big question. I am not even the slightest bit worried about her answer but I am extremely worried about the ring as I find myself knowing very little. I know a lot of people take their girlfriend to the jewelry store to pick out the ring but I think this totally takes out all of the surprise factor. But if I don't I have no clue what her size is. And then I am very worried that I am going to be ripped off as I know nothing about rings a slick salesman will spot this in a second. While composing this I did find a webpage http://www.soyouwanna.com/site/syws/ring/ring.html[^] that seems to have some good advice (I have not been through the whole thing) but I still want to ask if anyone would share some of their advice... Thanks in Advance, John
Congrats. May you enjoy many nights of constant bickering. :) Jeremy Falcon
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first, congrats! i met my wife on-line, too (campus intranet, actually). geeks are we. but i let my wife pick out her own ring. well, not so much let - i asked her without having a ring first, and then we went shopping. much easier. if you want to surprise her, can you grab one of her rings and sneak it off to a jeweler ? or maybe try one of her's on yourself - find a finger where it fits, then go to the jeweler and have them measure that ? most rings are fairly sizable - they can up or down in size without weakening any of the settings and a good jeweler will probably have a ton of experience with men buying engagement rings without knowing the exact size first. i believe they even have 'dummy' rings you can use for popping the question (of the right style but with a synthetic stone), then you can take her to the jeweler for the real thing. Cleek | Image Toolkits | Thumbnail maker
Chris Losinger wrote:
first, congrats!
Thanks, I have never felt better about anything in my life.
Chris Losinger wrote:
i met my wife on-line, too (campus intranet, actually). geeks are we.
Being a shy person who worked 80 hours a week, I came to the conclusion (after 14 years of trying) it was darn near impossible for me to find some one that I would want to spend the rest of my life with at my weekly visit to the singles bar...
Chris Losinger wrote:
but i let my wife pick out her own ring. well, not so much let - i asked her without having a ring first, and then we went shopping. much easier.
This is still a possibility but I am leaning away from it. I may have to call her best friend... Thanks for the help. John
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Congrats. May you enjoy many nights of constant bickering. :) Jeremy Falcon
Jeremy Falcon wrote:
Congrats.
Thanks
Jeremy Falcon wrote:
May you enjoy many nights of constant bickering.
:laugh: Much better than the nights I spent wondering if I would ever find the one... John
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Rama Krishna Vavilala wrote:
...warehouse club Costco.
That word alone would cause me to run the other way.
Rama Krishna Vavilala wrote:
The amazon.com diamon store is pretty good especially because it is a good example of an AJAX website.
I would seriously question anyone that based their diamond purchase on whether AJAX was involved or not. :rolleyes:
"The words of God are not like the oak leaf which dies and falls to the earth, but like the pine tree which stays green forever." - Native American Proverb
DavidCrow wrote:
That word alone would cause me to run the other way.
I could think of one worse word. Walmart :laugh: John
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You've known her three years, been living together for a while, and are sure she's the one etc. So why have an engagement, why don't you just go for marriage? Or is marriage not an option here? Regards, Nish
My blog : Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET
Exactly for the reasons espeir said. And it also gives us over a year to make sure we don't change our minds. John -- modified at 17:16 Monday 23rd January, 2006
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I know the best place you can buy diamond without getting ripped off is at the warehouse club Costco. The amazon.com diamon store is pretty good (it is a good example of an AJAX website). Amazon.com diamond store[^]
Oh you are such the romantic, take me now. regards, Paul Watson Ireland Colib and ilikecameras. K(arl) wrote: oh, and BTW, CHRISTIAN ISN'T A PARADOX, HE IS A TASMANIAN!
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Exactly for the reasons espeir said. And it also gives us over a year to make sure we don't change our minds. John -- modified at 17:16 Monday 23rd January, 2006
John M. Drescher wrote:
Exactly for the reasons espeir said. And it also gives us over a year to make sure we don't change our minds.
Ok :-) Regards, Nish
My blog : Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET
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Jeremy Falcon wrote:
Congrats.
Thanks
Jeremy Falcon wrote:
May you enjoy many nights of constant bickering.
:laugh: Much better than the nights I spent wondering if I would ever find the one... John
Don't worry, you will find the one ring... oh, you meant her. Right. :) regards, Paul Watson Ireland Colib and ilikecameras. K(arl) wrote: oh, and BTW, CHRISTIAN ISN'T A PARADOX, HE IS A TASMANIAN!
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I have been with my girlfriend for just over 3 years now and we have lived together since last March/April. Well, I guess I will say a few words about us before I ask for advice... We met on the internet (matchmaker.com) on the first day of 2003 and had our first date on January 11th 2003, which was a day after my birthday and two before hers. This year I turned 34 on the 10th and she has turned 37 on the 13th of January. As the days go by, it has become increasingly clear that she is the one and I am 100% sure that she feels the same way about me. I guess this has been enough babble, now to the question... I have already thought through how and where I will ask the big question. I am not even the slightest bit worried about her answer but I am extremely worried about the ring as I find myself knowing very little. I know a lot of people take their girlfriend to the jewelry store to pick out the ring but I think this totally takes out all of the surprise factor. But if I don't I have no clue what her size is. And then I am very worried that I am going to be ripped off as I know nothing about rings a slick salesman will spot this in a second. While composing this I did find a webpage http://www.soyouwanna.com/site/syws/ring/ring.html[^] that seems to have some good advice (I have not been through the whole thing) but I still want to ask if anyone would share some of their advice... Thanks in Advance, John
I haven't had to pick out an engagement ring before but as a thought does she have a sister or mother who you can ask and trust not to tell? I also wouldn't want to have to drag my soon-to-be-fiance around the jewelery store to pick out her engagement ring. Doesn't quite have that romantic touch, too practical, rational and pragmatic. regards, Paul Watson Ireland Colib and ilikecameras. K(arl) wrote: oh, and BTW, CHRISTIAN ISN'T A PARADOX, HE IS A TASMANIAN!
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John M. Drescher wrote:
Exactly for the reasons espeir said. And it also gives us over a year to make sure we don't change our minds.
Ok :-) Regards, Nish
My blog : Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET
I am not at all sure how divorce rates are in your area [EDIT]I did not know you moved to Canada[/EDIT], but currently slightly more than 50% of marriages in the US end in divorce. That alone makes one have to be very cautious... John -- modified at 17:51 Monday 23rd January, 2006
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I haven't had to pick out an engagement ring before but as a thought does she have a sister or mother who you can ask and trust not to tell? I also wouldn't want to have to drag my soon-to-be-fiance around the jewelery store to pick out her engagement ring. Doesn't quite have that romantic touch, too practical, rational and pragmatic. regards, Paul Watson Ireland Colib and ilikecameras. K(arl) wrote: oh, and BTW, CHRISTIAN ISN'T A PARADOX, HE IS A TASMANIAN!
This is possible. But I am not sure it would work. I believe her mom is the best bet with realitives but she lives 100 miles away from me... I'm thinking about my girlfriend's best friend but I have never met her although I have talked to her several times on the phone. John -- modified at 18:08 Monday 23rd January, 2006
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Don't worry, you will find the one ring... oh, you meant her. Right. :) regards, Paul Watson Ireland Colib and ilikecameras. K(arl) wrote: oh, and BTW, CHRISTIAN ISN'T A PARADOX, HE IS A TASMANIAN!
Yes... John
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I am not at all sure how divorce rates are in your area [EDIT]I did not know you moved to Canada[/EDIT], but currently slightly more than 50% of marriages in the US end in divorce. That alone makes one have to be very cautious... John -- modified at 17:51 Monday 23rd January, 2006
Well, he did NOT ask for advice on a prenuptial agreement ... yet ... :~ People that start writing code immediately are programmers (or hackers), people that ask questions first are Software Engineers - Graham Shanks