The couple at the door
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I'm not sure this is a repost, but it's worth the read. This morning there was a knock at my door. When I answered the door I found a well groomed, nicely dressed couple. The man spoke first: John: "Hi! I'm John, and this is Mary." Mary: "Hi! We're here to invite you to come kiss Hank's ass with us." Me: "Pardon me?! What are you talking about? Who's Hank, and why would I want to kiss His ass?" John: "If you kiss Hank's ass, He'll give you a million dollars; and if you don't, He'll kick the shiat out of you." Me: "What? Is this some sort of bizarre mob shake-down?" John: "Hank is a billionaire philanthropist. Hank built this town. Hank owns this town. He can do whatever He wants, and what He wants is to give you a million dollars, but He can't until you kiss His ass." Me: "That doesn't make any sense. Why..." Mary: "Who are you to question Hank's gift? Don't you want a million dollars? Isn't it worth a little kiss on the ass?" Me: "Well maybe, if it's legit, but..." John: "Then come kiss Hank's ass with us." Me: "Do you kiss Hank's ass often?" Mary: "Oh yes, all the time..." Me: "And has He given you a million dollars?" John: "Well no. You don't actually get the money until you leave town." Me: "So why don't you just leave town now?" Mary: "You can't leave until Hank tells you to, or you don't get the money, and He kicks the shiat out of you." Me: "Do you know anyone who kissed Hank's ass, left town, and got the million dollars?" John: "My mother kissed Hank's ass for years. She left town last year, and I'm sure she got the money." Me: "Haven't you talked to her since then?" John: "Of course not, Hank doesn't allow it." Me: "So what makes you think He'll actually give you the money if you've never talked to anyone who got the money?" Mary: "Well, He gives you a little bit before you leave. Maybe you'll get a raise, maybe you'll win a small lotto, maybe you'll just find a twenty-dollar bill on the street." Me: "What's that got to do with Hank?" John: "Hank has certain 'connections.'" Me: "I'm sorry, but this sounds like some sort of bizarre con game." John: "But it's a million dollars, can you really take the chance? And remember, if you don't kiss Hank's ass He'll kick the shiat out of you." Me: "Maybe if I could see Hank, talk to Him, get the details straight from Him..." Mary: "No one sees Hank, no one talks to Hank." Me: "Then how do you kiss His ass?" John: "Sometimes we just blow Him a kiss, and think of
By the end of that, I had tears in my eyes from trying not to laugh out loud. Thanks, I needed that this morning. :-D -J
Think of a computer program. Somewhere, there is one key instruction, and everything else is just functions calling themselves, or brackets billowing out endlessly through an infinite address space. What happens when the brackets collapse? Where's the final 'end if'? Is any of this making sense? -Ford Prefect
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Alvaro Mendez wrote:
Glad you liked it.
It is brilliant. The best part of it is that it is very generic so it can be applied to any true believer[^] (from marxists to christians to hare-krishnas to reverend Moon adorers). But here in this forum each "true believer" thinks it is just about themselves. Just look at the posts below. They are betraying themselves!:laugh: Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons. Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it. George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) Patriotism is often an arbitrary veneration of real estate above principles. George Jean Nathan (1882 - 1958) Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel. Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784) In the United States, doing go
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I'm not sure this is a repost, but it's worth the read. This morning there was a knock at my door. When I answered the door I found a well groomed, nicely dressed couple. The man spoke first: John: "Hi! I'm John, and this is Mary." Mary: "Hi! We're here to invite you to come kiss Hank's ass with us." Me: "Pardon me?! What are you talking about? Who's Hank, and why would I want to kiss His ass?" John: "If you kiss Hank's ass, He'll give you a million dollars; and if you don't, He'll kick the shiat out of you." Me: "What? Is this some sort of bizarre mob shake-down?" John: "Hank is a billionaire philanthropist. Hank built this town. Hank owns this town. He can do whatever He wants, and what He wants is to give you a million dollars, but He can't until you kiss His ass." Me: "That doesn't make any sense. Why..." Mary: "Who are you to question Hank's gift? Don't you want a million dollars? Isn't it worth a little kiss on the ass?" Me: "Well maybe, if it's legit, but..." John: "Then come kiss Hank's ass with us." Me: "Do you kiss Hank's ass often?" Mary: "Oh yes, all the time..." Me: "And has He given you a million dollars?" John: "Well no. You don't actually get the money until you leave town." Me: "So why don't you just leave town now?" Mary: "You can't leave until Hank tells you to, or you don't get the money, and He kicks the shiat out of you." Me: "Do you know anyone who kissed Hank's ass, left town, and got the million dollars?" John: "My mother kissed Hank's ass for years. She left town last year, and I'm sure she got the money." Me: "Haven't you talked to her since then?" John: "Of course not, Hank doesn't allow it." Me: "So what makes you think He'll actually give you the money if you've never talked to anyone who got the money?" Mary: "Well, He gives you a little bit before you leave. Maybe you'll get a raise, maybe you'll win a small lotto, maybe you'll just find a twenty-dollar bill on the street." Me: "What's that got to do with Hank?" John: "Hank has certain 'connections.'" Me: "I'm sorry, but this sounds like some sort of bizarre con game." John: "But it's a million dollars, can you really take the chance? And remember, if you don't kiss Hank's ass He'll kick the shiat out of you." Me: "Maybe if I could see Hank, talk to Him, get the details straight from Him..." Mary: "No one sees Hank, no one talks to Hank." Me: "Then how do you kiss His ass?" John: "Sometimes we just blow Him a kiss, and think of
This is like a palindrone. It makes the same amount of sense whether you read it forwards or backwards. ;P Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] When I want privacy, I'll close the bathroom door. [Stan Shannon] BAD DAY FOR: Friendly competition, as Ford Motor Co. declared the employee parking lot at its truck plant in Dearborn, Mich., off limits to vehicles built by rival companies. Workers have to drive a Ford to work, or park across the street. [CNNMoney.com] Nice sig! [Tim Deveaux on Matt Newman's sig with a quote from me] -- modified at 13:17 Monday 13th March, 2006
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This is like a palindrone. It makes the same amount of sense whether you read it forwards or backwards. ;P Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] When I want privacy, I'll close the bathroom door. [Stan Shannon] BAD DAY FOR: Friendly competition, as Ford Motor Co. declared the employee parking lot at its truck plant in Dearborn, Mich., off limits to vehicles built by rival companies. Workers have to drive a Ford to work, or park across the street. [CNNMoney.com] Nice sig! [Tim Deveaux on Matt Newman's sig with a quote from me] -- modified at 13:17 Monday 13th March, 2006
Kind of like a snake heading eating the head on the opposite side? I Palindrome I.
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Then why did you brand it as a joke. I DEMAND A PUNCHLINE!!!
Dude, I didn't brand it as a joke. Some are laughing at it. Some hate it. And some don't even get it. Here[^] is your punchline. Alvaro
... since we've descended to name calling, I'm thinking you're about twenty pounds of troll droppings in a ten pound bag. - Vincent Reynolds
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Let's leave not leave out atheists who place their faith in science while being ignorant of its details.
Let's not leave out the ____________ who place their faith in ____________ while being ignorant of ___________.
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Alvaro Mendez wrote:
Bigotted?
Yeah, why do you have Christians? Were you picked on by one when you were a kid?
espeir wrote:
Yeah, why do you have Christians? Were you picked on by one when you were a kid?
I don't hate Christians. Do you hate atheists? Were you picked on by one when you were a kid? :rolleyes: This is just an allegory I saw posted on another site. It's too bad you couldn't enjoy it. I happen to not enjoy much of the stuff you post here either. Alvaro
... since we've descended to name calling, I'm thinking you're about twenty pounds of troll droppings in a ten pound bag. - Vincent Reynolds
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Alvaro Mendez wrote:
Bigotted?
Yeah, why do you have Christians? Were you picked on by one when you were a kid?
Thanks for asking the tough questions, e. I, too, have often wondered why we have Christians. Some, at least...
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Dude, I didn't brand it as a joke. Some are laughing at it. Some hate it. And some don't even get it. Here[^] is your punchline. Alvaro
... since we've descended to name calling, I'm thinking you're about twenty pounds of troll droppings in a ten pound bag. - Vincent Reynolds
Alvaro Mendez wrote:
Dude, I didn't brand it as a joke.
Yes you did.
Alvaro Mendez wrote:
Some are laughing at it. Some hate it. And some don't even get it.
It's not a matter of love, hate or getting it. It's a 5 page joke without a punchline that you sold as a must read! NOW GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK!
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espeir wrote:
Yeah, why do you have Christians? Were you picked on by one when you were a kid?
I don't hate Christians. Do you hate atheists? Were you picked on by one when you were a kid? :rolleyes: This is just an allegory I saw posted on another site. It's too bad you couldn't enjoy it. I happen to not enjoy much of the stuff you post here either. Alvaro
... since we've descended to name calling, I'm thinking you're about twenty pounds of troll droppings in a ten pound bag. - Vincent Reynolds
Alvaro Mendez wrote:
I don't hate Christians.
Liar.
Alvaro Mendez wrote:
Do you hate atheists?
Not as a general rule. I do get annoyed by militant atheists like yourself who are constantly tring to shove your belief system down other peoples' throats while saying that having a belief system is asinine. Very hypocritical (which is ironic since hypocrisy is the only vice of the atheist).
Alvaro Mendez wrote:
I happen to not enjoy much of the stuff you post here either.
And you make it known. So why complain when I make it known that your joke is a 5 page waste of time? Kind of hypocritical, don't you think?
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Thanks for asking the tough questions, e. I, too, have often wondered why we have Christians. Some, at least...
Vincent Reynolds wrote:
Thanks for asking the tough questions, e. I, too, have often wondered why we have Christians.
That's what Hitler said about the Jews.
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Vincent Reynolds wrote:
Thanks for asking the tough questions, e. I, too, have often wondered why we have Christians.
That's what Hitler said about the Jews.
Some Christians, e, just some. However, thanks to your comment, in accordance with Godwin's Law, this thread is now over.
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This is like a palindrone. It makes the same amount of sense whether you read it forwards or backwards. ;P Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] When I want privacy, I'll close the bathroom door. [Stan Shannon] BAD DAY FOR: Friendly competition, as Ford Motor Co. declared the employee parking lot at its truck plant in Dearborn, Mich., off limits to vehicles built by rival companies. Workers have to drive a Ford to work, or park across the street. [CNNMoney.com] Nice sig! [Tim Deveaux on Matt Newman's sig with a quote from me] -- modified at 13:17 Monday 13th March, 2006
Chris Meech wrote:
This is like a palindrone. It makes the same amount of sense whether you read it forwards or backwards.
Actually, Alvaro chose the wrong religion here - had he chosen Islam, he'd have got 20+ 5 votes here and lots of support. He happened to pick a religion that has a few sensitive and vocal members here. As I said, bad choice of religion from a public reception point of view :-) Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
The Ultimate Grid - The #1 MFC grid out there! -
Alvaro Mendez wrote:
I don't hate Christians.
Liar.
Alvaro Mendez wrote:
Do you hate atheists?
Not as a general rule. I do get annoyed by militant atheists like yourself who are constantly tring to shove your belief system down other peoples' throats while saying that having a belief system is asinine. Very hypocritical (which is ironic since hypocrisy is the only vice of the atheist).
Alvaro Mendez wrote:
I happen to not enjoy much of the stuff you post here either.
And you make it known. So why complain when I make it known that your joke is a 5 page waste of time? Kind of hypocritical, don't you think?
espeir wrote:
. I do get annoyed by militant atheists like yourself who are constantly tring to shove your belief system down other peoples' throats while saying that having a belief system is asinine.
At least the atheist has balls to say that it is his beliefs, and not some commandment from some backward text.
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espeir wrote:
have Christians
i think you mean "hate Christians".
espeir wrote:
were a kid
he's still juvenile.
ahz wrote:
he's still juvenile.
I've found your reaction to this allegory I reposted from another site quite interesting. Alvaro
... since we've descended to name calling, I'm thinking you're about twenty pounds of troll droppings in a ten pound bag. - Vincent Reynolds
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thealj wrote:
I don't understand the ending
The Hank-squad finally gave up and left.
... since we've descended to name calling, I'm thinking you're about twenty pounds of troll droppings in a ten pound bag. - Vincent Reynolds
Happy ending...
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Alvaro Mendez wrote:
I'm not sure this is a repost, but it's worth the read.
I want my money back.
Go kiss Hank's ass some more first.
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Some Christians, e, just some. However, thanks to your comment, in accordance with Godwin's Law, this thread is now over.
Vincent Reynolds wrote:
in accordance with Godwin's Law
Yeah, but that usually applies in general. When you make a comment suggesting genocide of Christians, that's a whole other story.
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Chris Meech wrote:
This is like a palindrone. It makes the same amount of sense whether you read it forwards or backwards.
Actually, Alvaro chose the wrong religion here - had he chosen Islam, he'd have got 20+ 5 votes here and lots of support. He happened to pick a religion that has a few sensitive and vocal members here. As I said, bad choice of religion from a public reception point of view :-) Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
The Ultimate Grid - The #1 MFC grid out there!I don't think he picked a religion.
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Well...Diego said: "This is, by far, the best joke I've seen in this place." To which you responded: "This one came from fark.com." Thereby branding it a joke. Now do something to make it funny.
You're like a kid with an inferiority complex. Too little Christ in your life?
