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If you demonstrate to your wife that her happiness is less important to you than your career, that pretty much tells her all she needs to know. Come on over to America. You'll love it here. Our culture is full of people who have bad relationships because they value careers over people. Christopher Duncan Practical Strategy Consulting Author of The Career Programmer Unite the Tribes
Christopher Duncan wrote:
Our culture is full of people who have bad relationships because they value careers over people.
You sure about that? The work ethic of many of my coworkers (and others in the corporation where I work) would lead me to believe otherwise, I tend attribute this problem more to selfishness than anything else. The where is mine syndrome? :~
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From an Indian perspective, there are a few things to consider : (1) If you get a Multiple-entry B1B2 Visa, this will definitely help you when you are shifting jobs as companies love to have employees that can be sent to the US as and when required (2) As for your resume boost, it depends on what type of work you will be doing in those 3-4 months. (3) 3 months is a small period in our life-time. If those 3 months will improve the rest of your life, then it's a very good option to pursue. (4) There's a good chance that you'll be doing 60 hour weeks in the US (most Indian companies who sent people on-site expect that sort of labor). (5) There's a possibility that your stay may be extended up to 6 months (the max possible on a single visit on a B1B2 Visa) (6) Try and make sure your wife actually wants you to go. Sometimes, women may tell you to go ahead and do what you want, only to make you regret it for the rest of your lives :rolleyes: Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
The Ultimate Grid - The #1 MFC grid out there!Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
Try and make sure your wife actually wants you to go. Sometimes, women may tell you to go ahead and do what you want, only to make you regret it for the rest of your lives
Now what is that supposed to mean? :suss: - Smitha Every problem has a gift for you in its hands. -- Richard Bach -- modified at 11:05 Wednesday 26th April, 2006
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Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
Try and make sure your wife actually wants you to go. Sometimes, women may tell you to go ahead and do what you want, only to make you regret it for the rest of your lives
Now what is that supposed to mean? :suss: - Smitha Every problem has a gift for you in its hands. -- Richard Bach -- modified at 11:05 Wednesday 26th April, 2006
You beat me to it, Smitha! :rose:
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From an Indian perspective, there are a few things to consider : (1) If you get a Multiple-entry B1B2 Visa, this will definitely help you when you are shifting jobs as companies love to have employees that can be sent to the US as and when required (2) As for your resume boost, it depends on what type of work you will be doing in those 3-4 months. (3) 3 months is a small period in our life-time. If those 3 months will improve the rest of your life, then it's a very good option to pursue. (4) There's a good chance that you'll be doing 60 hour weeks in the US (most Indian companies who sent people on-site expect that sort of labor). (5) There's a possibility that your stay may be extended up to 6 months (the max possible on a single visit on a B1B2 Visa) (6) Try and make sure your wife actually wants you to go. Sometimes, women may tell you to go ahead and do what you want, only to make you regret it for the rest of your lives :rolleyes: Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
The Ultimate Grid - The #1 MFC grid out there!Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
Sometimes, women may tell you to go ahead and do what you want, only to make you regret it for the rest of your lives
:laugh: jhaga It would be glorious to see mankind at leisure for once. It is nothing but work, work, work. I cannot easily buy a blank-book to write thoughts in; they are commonly ruled for dollars and cents. A[man], seeing me making a minute in the fields, took it for granted that I was calculating my wages. — business! - I think that there is nothing, not even crime, more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself, than this incessant business. Henry David Thoreau
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As others have said, first discuss this with your wife. Sacrificing family for career is the best way to make yourself miserable. That said, I would strongly encourage you to do this, not because of credentials, which is dubious, but for the adventure of it all. Being able to visit another country, or even region of your own country, for an extended period is so much better than the typical rushed vacation. Since you indicate you are newly married, this is the perfect time. Trust me; once you have kids in school having adventures such as this become highly impractical. Be ready, though, to return to India at a moment's notice if it doesn't work. In the late 90s, a former collegue went to Germany with his family for a year. Not being a close friend, he was rather coy about this experience and simply said that his wife absolutely hated it. (She experienced major culture shock and was never able to shake it.) Anyone who thinks he has a better idea of what's good for people than people do is a swine. - P.J. O'Rourke
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Dissenting voice here. It's only 3 months. If she can't let you go do something that is going to benefit both of you, you might have to question her priorities. Love lasts longer than 3 months. Trust me, I've had jobs that have caused me to miss significant time at home. My professional career and family have benefited greatly. Go for it, bro. You need to convince her, though. [url=http://storm-studios.net/\][size=16] [color=Red]Storm![/color][/size]Studios[/url]
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Hi Pathak, I think you will be mad to value your career over your wife... Bottom line (IMHO)... If you love your wife, than your life together comes first, stay at home until you can get the opportunity that is best for your family not just yourself... And Hey if you are good enough to be offered to go to the states now, its most likely going to happen again in the Future! About getting US Experience... well I had been to the States 3 times for work when I was a consultant but when I went to the UK, it did not mean anything, I had to start from the bottom AGAIN! But thats life! Good luck with the Decision, Mark
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Pathak, For whatever its worth, I'm an Alaskan rather than an Indian, but I *am* a woman and have a strong opinion about your quandry. You should definitely go but you should try moving heaven and earth to find some way to bring your wife along with you. Working in a foreign country for a period will undoubtedly help your career and broaden your future prospects, even if you both hate it at the time. Your wife is a part of your life now and should share this experience with you. If you both are in love (and it sounds like you are), then you, your wife, and your marriage will prosper through this adventure. The company may be sponsoring your trip, but two can live as cheaply as one once you've arrived in town. Perhaps there is somebody in one of your families whom you could talk to about borrowing the airfare? Perhaps your company would be willing to front the cost of her airfare and let you pay it back gradually? If you decide not to go so as to stay with her or decide to go and leave her behind, I'm sure your marriage will survive. It will leave a small scar in your memories as you grow older, though. If the rest of your marriage is good, this won't really matter. Still, if you can find some way to bring her along, you can be proud of yourself...for sure your wife will be.
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Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
Try and make sure your wife actually wants you to go. Sometimes, women may tell you to go ahead and do what you want, only to make you regret it for the rest of your lives
Now what is that supposed to mean? :suss: - Smitha Every problem has a gift for you in its hands. -- Richard Bach -- modified at 11:05 Wednesday 26th April, 2006
Smitha Vijayan wrote:
Nishant Sivakumar wrote: Try and make sure your wife actually wants you to go. Sometimes, women may tell you to go ahead and do what you want, only to make you regret it for the rest of your lives Now what is that supposed to mean? - Smitha
Nish, really what is that supposed to mean... ;P --- With best regards, A Manchester United Fan The Genius of a true fool is that he can mess up a foolproof plan!
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Pathak, There is probably much to be gained, but the unavoidable thing about accepting a post in the US is that you will be surrounded by Americans. Maybe wear a baseball cap continuously, even in the shower, and maybe you'll blend in and they won't notice you have real culture showing.
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Pathak, I was facing the same decision as you, just countries were different. I decided to stay at home with my wife and whole family. I never regret my decision. If your wife cannot go with you, stay at home and enjoy the life. 4 months could be long time. And usualy it's not enough and in fact you'll be forced by employer to stay longer, because you're so damn good (and cheap)... My advice: stay at home enjoying your wife. Or make kids, then you'll stop thinking about such things ;-) PS: because you're good, you'll have same opportunity several times per life. Not only once. Your current wife can be your wife only once in your life. Think about it.
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Pathak, I was facing the same decision as you, just countries were different. I decided to stay at home with my wife and whole family. I never regret my decision. If your wife cannot go with you, stay at home and enjoy the life. 4 months could be long time. And usualy it's not enough and in fact you'll be forced by employer to stay longer, because you're so damn good (and cheap)... My advice: stay at home enjoying your wife. Or make kids, then you'll stop thinking about such things ;-) PS: because you're good, you'll have same opportunity several times per life. Not only once. Your current wife can be your wife only once in your life. Think about it.