Linux Humor
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It may be a little too abstract for some folks...
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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"...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:
It may be a little too abstract for some folks...
Thanks for the elaborate explaination
**You know you're obsessed with computer graphics when you're outside and you look up at the trees and think, "Wow! That's spectacular resolution!"
Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial "we."**
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John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:
It may be a little too abstract for some folks...
Thanks for the elaborate explaination
**You know you're obsessed with computer graphics when you're outside and you look up at the trees and think, "Wow! That's spectacular resolution!"
Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial "we."**
As you can see, I am a man of few words...
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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"...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001 -
Propeller Head: Hey look! I just ported the latest Linux kernel to this 2-slice toaster! Observer: Did you add functionality to the toaster? Propeller Head: How do you mean? Observer: Does it do more now than it did before it ran Linux? Propeller Head: Well, no. Observer: Can it sill make toast? Propeller Head: I'm not sure, let's try it! (Two slices of un-toasted bread are placed into the toaster, and the lever is pushed down.) Observer: I don't see the elements heating up. Propeller Head: Well, I had to opimize the kernel so that it would fit in the toaster's memory. let me look at the code. (Propeller Head scans the code, finds the part of the kernel he "opimized" out, un-comments the code and recompiles. Ten minutes later, the toaster has been upgraded and ready to go.) Observer: Impressive indeed. Propeller Head: Yeah open source is great isn't it? Try it again. (Observer reinserts the bread and pushes the lever down. The elements do in fact heat up, but to such a point that the bread almost immediately catches fire.) Observer: Houston, we have a problem. Propeller Head: That kernel sure is fast. Let me see if I can modify some of the timings. (Propeller Head scans the code, finds and changes the part of the kernel that implements timings, and mumbles somthing about whether or not the changes he made would work on another brand of toaster as he recompiles. Seventeen minutes later, the toaster has been upgraded and ready to go.) Observer (now wearing a fire suit): Okay here we go. (Observer puts two unmolested pieces of bread into the toaster and presses the lever down. The elements once again fail to heat up.) Observer: What do you think the problem is now? Propeller Head: I think we have the wrong drivers for the type of bread your using. Observer: Can we get drivers? Propeller Head: Probably not. I'd bet they're proprietary. (Observer enquires about another identical toaster sitting on the table.) Propeller Head: Oh you don't want that one. It still makes toast, but it's not running Linux yet. Observer: Why not? They're the same right? Propeller Head: No, that one is newer and has different rubber feet on it. That means we have to re-port the kernel. Observer: When you port that one to Linux, will it make toast correctly? Propeller Head: That really wasn't the point of porting linux to this toaster. Observer: What *is* the point? Propeller Head: It was to prove that we could port Linux to the toaster. Observer:
Excellent :-) Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
Currently working on C++/CLI in Action for Manning Publications. Also visit the Ultimate Toolbox blog (New) -
As you can see, I am a man of few words...
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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"...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001[snark]Some would even speculate somewhere within the count of your few words is the sum of your IQ.[/snark]
“Profanity is the attempt of a lazy and feeble mind to express itself forcefully”
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[snark]Some would even speculate somewhere within the count of your few words is the sum of your IQ.[/snark]
“Profanity is the attempt of a lazy and feeble mind to express itself forcefully”
My IQ can only truly be represented by a 128-bit long. Trying to stuff a number that large into the more common BYTE will cause what Microsoft likes to call "unpredictable results" (you know kinda when you use IE to go to a web page with even the most simple CSS - you just never know what IE is gonna do) . It's understandable that you would be misguided by such a seemingly small value.
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
-----
"...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001 -
Propeller Head: Hey look! I just ported the latest Linux kernel to this 2-slice toaster! Observer: Did you add functionality to the toaster? Propeller Head: How do you mean? Observer: Does it do more now than it did before it ran Linux? Propeller Head: Well, no. Observer: Can it sill make toast? Propeller Head: I'm not sure, let's try it! (Two slices of un-toasted bread are placed into the toaster, and the lever is pushed down.) Observer: I don't see the elements heating up. Propeller Head: Well, I had to opimize the kernel so that it would fit in the toaster's memory. let me look at the code. (Propeller Head scans the code, finds the part of the kernel he "opimized" out, un-comments the code and recompiles. Ten minutes later, the toaster has been upgraded and ready to go.) Observer: Impressive indeed. Propeller Head: Yeah open source is great isn't it? Try it again. (Observer reinserts the bread and pushes the lever down. The elements do in fact heat up, but to such a point that the bread almost immediately catches fire.) Observer: Houston, we have a problem. Propeller Head: That kernel sure is fast. Let me see if I can modify some of the timings. (Propeller Head scans the code, finds and changes the part of the kernel that implements timings, and mumbles somthing about whether or not the changes he made would work on another brand of toaster as he recompiles. Seventeen minutes later, the toaster has been upgraded and ready to go.) Observer (now wearing a fire suit): Okay here we go. (Observer puts two unmolested pieces of bread into the toaster and presses the lever down. The elements once again fail to heat up.) Observer: What do you think the problem is now? Propeller Head: I think we have the wrong drivers for the type of bread your using. Observer: Can we get drivers? Propeller Head: Probably not. I'd bet they're proprietary. (Observer enquires about another identical toaster sitting on the table.) Propeller Head: Oh you don't want that one. It still makes toast, but it's not running Linux yet. Observer: Why not? They're the same right? Propeller Head: No, that one is newer and has different rubber feet on it. That means we have to re-port the kernel. Observer: When you port that one to Linux, will it make toast correctly? Propeller Head: That really wasn't the point of porting linux to this toaster. Observer: What *is* the point? Propeller Head: It was to prove that we could port Linux to the toaster. Observer:
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Monty2 wrote:
Didn't get this part though
The MS WGA - the thing that asks to validate you copy of windows to make sure its genuine, had a new version release a few weeks ago, and it was only beta code. Started accusing all kinds of big corporate customers of piracy. Feathers were ruffled.
"Je pense, donc je mange." - Rene Descartes 1689 - Just before his mother put his tea on the table. Shameless Plug - Distributed Database Transactions in .NET using COM+
Well WGA is definitely buggy! We got a customer phone us this week about WGA saying he needed to install it to download something from MS. So he tried to install WGA, only to be told it can't be installed unless he installs Service Pack 2 first. He went to download SP2 to be told he needs WGA installed first. Genius! -- The Obliterator
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Propeller Head: Hey look! I just ported the latest Linux kernel to this 2-slice toaster! Observer: Did you add functionality to the toaster? Propeller Head: How do you mean? Observer: Does it do more now than it did before it ran Linux? Propeller Head: Well, no. Observer: Can it sill make toast? Propeller Head: I'm not sure, let's try it! (Two slices of un-toasted bread are placed into the toaster, and the lever is pushed down.) Observer: I don't see the elements heating up. Propeller Head: Well, I had to opimize the kernel so that it would fit in the toaster's memory. let me look at the code. (Propeller Head scans the code, finds the part of the kernel he "opimized" out, un-comments the code and recompiles. Ten minutes later, the toaster has been upgraded and ready to go.) Observer: Impressive indeed. Propeller Head: Yeah open source is great isn't it? Try it again. (Observer reinserts the bread and pushes the lever down. The elements do in fact heat up, but to such a point that the bread almost immediately catches fire.) Observer: Houston, we have a problem. Propeller Head: That kernel sure is fast. Let me see if I can modify some of the timings. (Propeller Head scans the code, finds and changes the part of the kernel that implements timings, and mumbles somthing about whether or not the changes he made would work on another brand of toaster as he recompiles. Seventeen minutes later, the toaster has been upgraded and ready to go.) Observer (now wearing a fire suit): Okay here we go. (Observer puts two unmolested pieces of bread into the toaster and presses the lever down. The elements once again fail to heat up.) Observer: What do you think the problem is now? Propeller Head: I think we have the wrong drivers for the type of bread your using. Observer: Can we get drivers? Propeller Head: Probably not. I'd bet they're proprietary. (Observer enquires about another identical toaster sitting on the table.) Propeller Head: Oh you don't want that one. It still makes toast, but it's not running Linux yet. Observer: Why not? They're the same right? Propeller Head: No, that one is newer and has different rubber feet on it. That means we have to re-port the kernel. Observer: When you port that one to Linux, will it make toast correctly? Propeller Head: That really wasn't the point of porting linux to this toaster. Observer: What *is* the point? Propeller Head: It was to prove that we could port Linux to the toaster. Observer:
Linux in a toaster[^] . . . :rolleyes:
:..::. Douglas H. Troy ::..
Bad Astronomy |Development Blogging|Viksoe.dk's Site -- modified at 10:21 Friday 7th July, 2006 -
Propeller Head: Hey look! I just ported the latest Linux kernel to this 2-slice toaster! Observer: Did you add functionality to the toaster? Propeller Head: How do you mean? Observer: Does it do more now than it did before it ran Linux? Propeller Head: Well, no. Observer: Can it sill make toast? Propeller Head: I'm not sure, let's try it! (Two slices of un-toasted bread are placed into the toaster, and the lever is pushed down.) Observer: I don't see the elements heating up. Propeller Head: Well, I had to opimize the kernel so that it would fit in the toaster's memory. let me look at the code. (Propeller Head scans the code, finds the part of the kernel he "opimized" out, un-comments the code and recompiles. Ten minutes later, the toaster has been upgraded and ready to go.) Observer: Impressive indeed. Propeller Head: Yeah open source is great isn't it? Try it again. (Observer reinserts the bread and pushes the lever down. The elements do in fact heat up, but to such a point that the bread almost immediately catches fire.) Observer: Houston, we have a problem. Propeller Head: That kernel sure is fast. Let me see if I can modify some of the timings. (Propeller Head scans the code, finds and changes the part of the kernel that implements timings, and mumbles somthing about whether or not the changes he made would work on another brand of toaster as he recompiles. Seventeen minutes later, the toaster has been upgraded and ready to go.) Observer (now wearing a fire suit): Okay here we go. (Observer puts two unmolested pieces of bread into the toaster and presses the lever down. The elements once again fail to heat up.) Observer: What do you think the problem is now? Propeller Head: I think we have the wrong drivers for the type of bread your using. Observer: Can we get drivers? Propeller Head: Probably not. I'd bet they're proprietary. (Observer enquires about another identical toaster sitting on the table.) Propeller Head: Oh you don't want that one. It still makes toast, but it's not running Linux yet. Observer: Why not? They're the same right? Propeller Head: No, that one is newer and has different rubber feet on it. That means we have to re-port the kernel. Observer: When you port that one to Linux, will it make toast correctly? Propeller Head: That really wasn't the point of porting linux to this toaster. Observer: What *is* the point? Propeller Head: It was to prove that we could port Linux to the toaster. Observer:
Thats a good one . What were they smoking www.abhilash.in www.biztalkcafe.com http://biztalkland.blogspot.com
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My IQ can only truly be represented by a 128-bit long. Trying to stuff a number that large into the more common BYTE will cause what Microsoft likes to call "unpredictable results" (you know kinda when you use IE to go to a web page with even the most simple CSS - you just never know what IE is gonna do) . It's understandable that you would be misguided by such a seemingly small value.
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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"...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001And here I thought it a single bit data type.
“Profanity is the attempt of a lazy and feeble mind to express itself forcefully”
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Thats a good one . What were they smoking www.abhilash.in www.biztalkcafe.com http://biztalkland.blogspot.com
_ABHILASH_MS_ wrote:
Thats a good one . What were they smoking
Wow - it's the Biztalk Man himself, eh? :-) Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
Currently working on C++/CLI in Action for Manning Publications. Also visit the Ultimate Toolbox blog (New) -
My IQ can only truly be represented by a 128-bit long. Trying to stuff a number that large into the more common BYTE will cause what Microsoft likes to call "unpredictable results" (you know kinda when you use IE to go to a web page with even the most simple CSS - you just never know what IE is gonna do) . It's understandable that you would be misguided by such a seemingly small value.
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
-----
"...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001FFFF FFFF FFFF FFFF FFFF FFFF FFFF FFFF? (referring to the fact that you did not specify ULong) "Until the day of his death, no man can be sure of his courage" -- Jean Anouilh
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Propeller Head: Hey look! I just ported the latest Linux kernel to this 2-slice toaster! Observer: Did you add functionality to the toaster? Propeller Head: How do you mean? Observer: Does it do more now than it did before it ran Linux? Propeller Head: Well, no. Observer: Can it sill make toast? Propeller Head: I'm not sure, let's try it! (Two slices of un-toasted bread are placed into the toaster, and the lever is pushed down.) Observer: I don't see the elements heating up. Propeller Head: Well, I had to opimize the kernel so that it would fit in the toaster's memory. let me look at the code. (Propeller Head scans the code, finds the part of the kernel he "opimized" out, un-comments the code and recompiles. Ten minutes later, the toaster has been upgraded and ready to go.) Observer: Impressive indeed. Propeller Head: Yeah open source is great isn't it? Try it again. (Observer reinserts the bread and pushes the lever down. The elements do in fact heat up, but to such a point that the bread almost immediately catches fire.) Observer: Houston, we have a problem. Propeller Head: That kernel sure is fast. Let me see if I can modify some of the timings. (Propeller Head scans the code, finds and changes the part of the kernel that implements timings, and mumbles somthing about whether or not the changes he made would work on another brand of toaster as he recompiles. Seventeen minutes later, the toaster has been upgraded and ready to go.) Observer (now wearing a fire suit): Okay here we go. (Observer puts two unmolested pieces of bread into the toaster and presses the lever down. The elements once again fail to heat up.) Observer: What do you think the problem is now? Propeller Head: I think we have the wrong drivers for the type of bread your using. Observer: Can we get drivers? Propeller Head: Probably not. I'd bet they're proprietary. (Observer enquires about another identical toaster sitting on the table.) Propeller Head: Oh you don't want that one. It still makes toast, but it's not running Linux yet. Observer: Why not? They're the same right? Propeller Head: No, that one is newer and has different rubber feet on it. That means we have to re-port the kernel. Observer: When you port that one to Linux, will it make toast correctly? Propeller Head: That really wasn't the point of porting linux to this toaster. Observer: What *is* the point? Propeller Head: It was to prove that we could port Linux to the toaster. Observer:
http://www.freeos.com/articles/3800[^] I've seen better runs in my shorts! - Patches O'Houlihan
