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Another JOTD

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  • R Raj Lal

    A fifth grade teacher in a Christian school asked her class to look at TV commercials and see if they could use them in some way to communicate ideas about God. Here are some of the results: GOD is like BAYER ASPIRIN ... He works miracles. GOD is like a FORD ... He's got a better idea. GOD is like COKE ... He's the real thing. GOD is like HALLMARK CARDS ... He cares enough to send His very best. GOD is like TIDE ... He gets the stains out that others leave behind. GOD is like GENERAL ELECTRIC ... He brings good things to life. GOD is like SEARS ... He has everything. GOD is like ALKA-SELTZER ... Try Him, you'll like him. GOD is like SCOTCH TAPE ... You can't see him, but you know He's there. GOD is like DELTA ... He's ready when you are. GOD is like ALLSTATE ... You're in good hands with Him. GOD is like VO-5 HAIR SPRAY ... He holds through all kinds of weather. GOD is like DIAL SOAP ... Aren't you glad you have Him. Don't you wish everybody did? Any more ideas * yes you right ...

    Omit Needless Words - Strunk, William, Jr.


    Web based Project Management
    Universal DBA | Ajax Rating | ExplorerTree | Globalization in 20 minutes

    C Offline
    C Offline
    Christian Graus
    wrote on last edited by
    #2

    And people ask me why I don't send my kids to a Christian school.....

    Christian Graus - Microsoft MVP - C++ Metal Musings - Rex and my new metal blog

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    • R Raj Lal

      A fifth grade teacher in a Christian school asked her class to look at TV commercials and see if they could use them in some way to communicate ideas about God. Here are some of the results: GOD is like BAYER ASPIRIN ... He works miracles. GOD is like a FORD ... He's got a better idea. GOD is like COKE ... He's the real thing. GOD is like HALLMARK CARDS ... He cares enough to send His very best. GOD is like TIDE ... He gets the stains out that others leave behind. GOD is like GENERAL ELECTRIC ... He brings good things to life. GOD is like SEARS ... He has everything. GOD is like ALKA-SELTZER ... Try Him, you'll like him. GOD is like SCOTCH TAPE ... You can't see him, but you know He's there. GOD is like DELTA ... He's ready when you are. GOD is like ALLSTATE ... You're in good hands with Him. GOD is like VO-5 HAIR SPRAY ... He holds through all kinds of weather. GOD is like DIAL SOAP ... Aren't you glad you have Him. Don't you wish everybody did? Any more ideas * yes you right ...

      Omit Needless Words - Strunk, William, Jr.


      Web based Project Management
      Universal DBA | Ajax Rating | ExplorerTree | Globalization in 20 minutes

      M Offline
      M Offline
      Marc Clifton
      wrote on last edited by
      #3

      You do not have a better advertising experience with God than with TV. Marc

      Thyme In The Country

      People are just notoriously impossible. --DavidCrow
      There's NO excuse for not commenting your code. -- John Simmons / outlaw programmer
      People who say that they will refactor their code later to make it "good" don't understand refactoring, nor the art and craft of programming. -- Josh Smith

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      • R Raj Lal

        A fifth grade teacher in a Christian school asked her class to look at TV commercials and see if they could use them in some way to communicate ideas about God. Here are some of the results: GOD is like BAYER ASPIRIN ... He works miracles. GOD is like a FORD ... He's got a better idea. GOD is like COKE ... He's the real thing. GOD is like HALLMARK CARDS ... He cares enough to send His very best. GOD is like TIDE ... He gets the stains out that others leave behind. GOD is like GENERAL ELECTRIC ... He brings good things to life. GOD is like SEARS ... He has everything. GOD is like ALKA-SELTZER ... Try Him, you'll like him. GOD is like SCOTCH TAPE ... You can't see him, but you know He's there. GOD is like DELTA ... He's ready when you are. GOD is like ALLSTATE ... You're in good hands with Him. GOD is like VO-5 HAIR SPRAY ... He holds through all kinds of weather. GOD is like DIAL SOAP ... Aren't you glad you have Him. Don't you wish everybody did? Any more ideas * yes you right ...

        Omit Needless Words - Strunk, William, Jr.


        Web based Project Management
        Universal DBA | Ajax Rating | ExplorerTree | Globalization in 20 minutes

        A Offline
        A Offline
        Allah On Acid
        wrote on last edited by
        #4

        GOD is like laxitive, he makes everything go smoother.

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • C Christian Graus

          And people ask me why I don't send my kids to a Christian school.....

          Christian Graus - Microsoft MVP - C++ Metal Musings - Rex and my new metal blog

          B Offline
          B Offline
          Bassam Abdul Baki
          wrote on last edited by
          #5

          I guess home schooling is not for everyone.


          "I know which side I want to win regardless of how many wrongs they have to commit to achieve it." - Stan Shannon

          Web - Blog - RSS - Math - LinkedIn

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          • R Raj Lal

            A fifth grade teacher in a Christian school asked her class to look at TV commercials and see if they could use them in some way to communicate ideas about God. Here are some of the results: GOD is like BAYER ASPIRIN ... He works miracles. GOD is like a FORD ... He's got a better idea. GOD is like COKE ... He's the real thing. GOD is like HALLMARK CARDS ... He cares enough to send His very best. GOD is like TIDE ... He gets the stains out that others leave behind. GOD is like GENERAL ELECTRIC ... He brings good things to life. GOD is like SEARS ... He has everything. GOD is like ALKA-SELTZER ... Try Him, you'll like him. GOD is like SCOTCH TAPE ... You can't see him, but you know He's there. GOD is like DELTA ... He's ready when you are. GOD is like ALLSTATE ... You're in good hands with Him. GOD is like VO-5 HAIR SPRAY ... He holds through all kinds of weather. GOD is like DIAL SOAP ... Aren't you glad you have Him. Don't you wish everybody did? Any more ideas * yes you right ...

            Omit Needless Words - Strunk, William, Jr.


            Web based Project Management
            Universal DBA | Ajax Rating | ExplorerTree | Globalization in 20 minutes

            C Offline
            C Offline
            Clickok
            wrote on last edited by
            #6

            ...and is worried with things much more serious: Where is God?[^] Jane Clayson: I've heard people say, those who are religious, those who are not, if God is good, how could God less this happen? To that, you say? Anne Graham Lotz: I say God is also angry when he sees something like this. I would say also for several years now Americans in a sense have shaken their fist at God and said, God, we want you out of our schools, our government, our business, we want you out of our marketplace. And God, who is a gentleman, has just quietly backed out of our national and political life, our public life. Removing his hand of blessing and protection. We need to turn to God first of all and say, God, we're sorry we have treated you this way and we invite you now to come into our national life. We put our trust in you. We have our trust in God on our coins, we need to practice it.


            Jesus is Love! Tell to someone! :-)

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            • C Clickok

              ...and is worried with things much more serious: Where is God?[^] Jane Clayson: I've heard people say, those who are religious, those who are not, if God is good, how could God less this happen? To that, you say? Anne Graham Lotz: I say God is also angry when he sees something like this. I would say also for several years now Americans in a sense have shaken their fist at God and said, God, we want you out of our schools, our government, our business, we want you out of our marketplace. And God, who is a gentleman, has just quietly backed out of our national and political life, our public life. Removing his hand of blessing and protection. We need to turn to God first of all and say, God, we're sorry we have treated you this way and we invite you now to come into our national life. We put our trust in you. We have our trust in God on our coins, we need to practice it.


              Jesus is Love! Tell to someone! :-)

              M Offline
              M Offline
              Member 96
              wrote on last edited by
              #7

              :rolleyes: Aren't there some message boards with heathens you can go and convert or something and spare us this?

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              • M Member 96

                :rolleyes: Aren't there some message boards with heathens you can go and convert or something and spare us this?

                C Offline
                C Offline
                Clickok
                wrote on last edited by
                #8

                ;) I cannot resist :-O


                Jesus is Love! Tell to someone! :-)

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                • M Member 96

                  :rolleyes: Aren't there some message boards with heathens you can go and convert or something and spare us this?

                  E Offline
                  E Offline
                  El Corazon
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #9

                  John Cardinal wrote:

                  with heathens

                  We prefer the reference of pagans please. And don't send him our way. ;P

                  _________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)

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                  • C Clickok

                    ...and is worried with things much more serious: Where is God?[^] Jane Clayson: I've heard people say, those who are religious, those who are not, if God is good, how could God less this happen? To that, you say? Anne Graham Lotz: I say God is also angry when he sees something like this. I would say also for several years now Americans in a sense have shaken their fist at God and said, God, we want you out of our schools, our government, our business, we want you out of our marketplace. And God, who is a gentleman, has just quietly backed out of our national and political life, our public life. Removing his hand of blessing and protection. We need to turn to God first of all and say, God, we're sorry we have treated you this way and we invite you now to come into our national life. We put our trust in you. We have our trust in God on our coins, we need to practice it.


                    Jesus is Love! Tell to someone! :-)

                    E Offline
                    E Offline
                    Edbert P
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #10

                    Following God does NOT guarantee a blissful life. God may bless you in your life for following Him but it does not necessarily mean you will lead a healthy and wealthy life in a harmonious family and all that. Didn't Jesus say we have to bear our own cross if we want to follow Him? We may have the joy in our lives for following Him, but translating the joy and blessing from God directly into money in our pockets, health, harmony and security is a fault mostly introduced by American Televangelists. The true blessing of a Christian is to be joyful inspite of hardship in your life. And of course, translating every single disaster that happens on Earth to be punishment for the sins we make is also the result of idiots like Jerry Falwell. And does God back out when people don't want Him? I don't think so, He'd chase them even more. Remember the parables of the lost coin and the lost sheep and how happy the person who found them back? God is here for the beggars, murderers, rapists, homos, cheaters, and all sorts of people you don't want to be in most churches, even atheists. He'd be much more ecstatic seeing one of them get saved than you and me who are Christians already. It's ironic that people are attracted to Christian teachings but mostly repelled by the Christians.

                    "A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine." - Thomas Jefferson "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote." - Benjamin Franklin Edbert Sydney, Australia

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                    • E Edbert P

                      Following God does NOT guarantee a blissful life. God may bless you in your life for following Him but it does not necessarily mean you will lead a healthy and wealthy life in a harmonious family and all that. Didn't Jesus say we have to bear our own cross if we want to follow Him? We may have the joy in our lives for following Him, but translating the joy and blessing from God directly into money in our pockets, health, harmony and security is a fault mostly introduced by American Televangelists. The true blessing of a Christian is to be joyful inspite of hardship in your life. And of course, translating every single disaster that happens on Earth to be punishment for the sins we make is also the result of idiots like Jerry Falwell. And does God back out when people don't want Him? I don't think so, He'd chase them even more. Remember the parables of the lost coin and the lost sheep and how happy the person who found them back? God is here for the beggars, murderers, rapists, homos, cheaters, and all sorts of people you don't want to be in most churches, even atheists. He'd be much more ecstatic seeing one of them get saved than you and me who are Christians already. It's ironic that people are attracted to Christian teachings but mostly repelled by the Christians.

                      "A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine." - Thomas Jefferson "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote." - Benjamin Franklin Edbert Sydney, Australia

                      E Offline
                      E Offline
                      El Corazon
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #11

                      Edbert P wrote:

                      It's ironic that people are attracted to Christian teachings but mostly repelled by the Christians.

                      Which is why American Buddhism is on the rise.

                      _________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)

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                      • M Member 96

                        :rolleyes: Aren't there some message boards with heathens you can go and convert or something and spare us this?

                        V Offline
                        V Offline
                        Vikram A Punathambekar
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #12

                        No offense, but I find your name ironic. :)

                        Cheers, Vikram.


                        "whoever I am, I'm not other people" - Corinna John.

                        M 1 Reply Last reply
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                        • E Edbert P

                          Following God does NOT guarantee a blissful life. God may bless you in your life for following Him but it does not necessarily mean you will lead a healthy and wealthy life in a harmonious family and all that. Didn't Jesus say we have to bear our own cross if we want to follow Him? We may have the joy in our lives for following Him, but translating the joy and blessing from God directly into money in our pockets, health, harmony and security is a fault mostly introduced by American Televangelists. The true blessing of a Christian is to be joyful inspite of hardship in your life. And of course, translating every single disaster that happens on Earth to be punishment for the sins we make is also the result of idiots like Jerry Falwell. And does God back out when people don't want Him? I don't think so, He'd chase them even more. Remember the parables of the lost coin and the lost sheep and how happy the person who found them back? God is here for the beggars, murderers, rapists, homos, cheaters, and all sorts of people you don't want to be in most churches, even atheists. He'd be much more ecstatic seeing one of them get saved than you and me who are Christians already. It's ironic that people are attracted to Christian teachings but mostly repelled by the Christians.

                          "A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine." - Thomas Jefferson "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote." - Benjamin Franklin Edbert Sydney, Australia

                          D Offline
                          D Offline
                          David Stone
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #13

                          Edbert P wrote:

                          It's ironic that people are attracted to Christian teachings but mostly repelled by the Christians.

                          Ironic insofar as it's sad. It's also completely natural given how most Christians act towards most non-Christians. For people whose religion is based on forgiveness and love, the majority of us can be the most judgemental, hateful, biggotted people I've ever seen.

                          Once you wanted revolution
                          Now you're the institution
                          How's it feel to be the man?

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                          • C Christian Graus

                            And people ask me why I don't send my kids to a Christian school.....

                            Christian Graus - Microsoft MVP - C++ Metal Musings - Rex and my new metal blog

                            B Offline
                            B Offline
                            Bassam Abdul Baki
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #14

                            I guess no one got the joke. Christian school implies Christian Graus implies home schooling. :rolleyes:


                            "I know which side I want to win regardless of how many wrongs they have to commit to achieve it." - Stan Shannon

                            Web - Blog - RSS - Math - LinkedIn

                            E C 2 Replies Last reply
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                            • B Bassam Abdul Baki

                              I guess no one got the joke. Christian school implies Christian Graus implies home schooling. :rolleyes:


                              "I know which side I want to win regardless of how many wrongs they have to commit to achieve it." - Stan Shannon

                              Web - Blog - RSS - Math - LinkedIn

                              E Offline
                              E Offline
                              El Corazon
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #15

                              Bassam Abdul-Baki wrote:

                              Christian school implies Christian Graus implies home schooling.

                              or the Pun was just that bad.... ;P

                              _________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)

                              B 1 Reply Last reply
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                              • E El Corazon

                                Bassam Abdul-Baki wrote:

                                Christian school implies Christian Graus implies home schooling.

                                or the Pun was just that bad.... ;P

                                _________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)

                                B Offline
                                B Offline
                                Bassam Abdul Baki
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #16

                                I feel relieved, sort of. :) I guess my sort of humor is a bit more evolved. Yeah, that's it. ;P


                                "I know which side I want to win regardless of how many wrongs they have to commit to achieve it." - Stan Shannon

                                Web - Blog - RSS - Math - LinkedIn

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                                • B Bassam Abdul Baki

                                  I feel relieved, sort of. :) I guess my sort of humor is a bit more evolved. Yeah, that's it. ;P


                                  "I know which side I want to win regardless of how many wrongs they have to commit to achieve it." - Stan Shannon

                                  Web - Blog - RSS - Math - LinkedIn

                                  E Offline
                                  E Offline
                                  El Corazon
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #17

                                  watch that spelling... shouldn't it be devolved? ;P;P;)

                                  _________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)

                                  B 1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • E El Corazon

                                    watch that spelling... shouldn't it be devolved? ;P;P;)

                                    _________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)

                                    B Offline
                                    B Offline
                                    Bassam Abdul Baki
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #18

                                    Then it would be a typo. So my spelling's okay. ;P


                                    "I know which side I want to win regardless of how many wrongs they have to commit to achieve it." - Stan Shannon

                                    Web - Blog - RSS - Math - LinkedIn

                                    E 1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • B Bassam Abdul Baki

                                      Then it would be a typo. So my spelling's okay. ;P


                                      "I know which side I want to win regardless of how many wrongs they have to commit to achieve it." - Stan Shannon

                                      Web - Blog - RSS - Math - LinkedIn

                                      E Offline
                                      E Offline
                                      El Corazon
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #19

                                      Bassam Abdul-Baki wrote:

                                      Then it would be a typo.

                                      Arrrr... ye be right! darn yer hide... ;P

                                      _________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)

                                      1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • R Raj Lal

                                        A fifth grade teacher in a Christian school asked her class to look at TV commercials and see if they could use them in some way to communicate ideas about God. Here are some of the results: GOD is like BAYER ASPIRIN ... He works miracles. GOD is like a FORD ... He's got a better idea. GOD is like COKE ... He's the real thing. GOD is like HALLMARK CARDS ... He cares enough to send His very best. GOD is like TIDE ... He gets the stains out that others leave behind. GOD is like GENERAL ELECTRIC ... He brings good things to life. GOD is like SEARS ... He has everything. GOD is like ALKA-SELTZER ... Try Him, you'll like him. GOD is like SCOTCH TAPE ... You can't see him, but you know He's there. GOD is like DELTA ... He's ready when you are. GOD is like ALLSTATE ... You're in good hands with Him. GOD is like VO-5 HAIR SPRAY ... He holds through all kinds of weather. GOD is like DIAL SOAP ... Aren't you glad you have Him. Don't you wish everybody did? Any more ideas * yes you right ...

                                        Omit Needless Words - Strunk, William, Jr.


                                        Web based Project Management
                                        Universal DBA | Ajax Rating | ExplorerTree | Globalization in 20 minutes

                                        A Offline
                                        A Offline
                                        Alvaro Mendez
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #20

                                        GOD is like Santa Claus[^]... he doesn't exist. ;P Alvaro


                                        If [God] knows what we are going to do then we have no free will and are just characters in a play written by him. Without free will, morality for humans makes no sense. Without free will and morality, any sort of punishment or reward system loses any justification. Heaven and hell would be places where [God] could watch the souls he created, predestined just for eternal happiness or agony. - Mark Thomas

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                                        • B Bassam Abdul Baki

                                          I guess no one got the joke. Christian school implies Christian Graus implies home schooling. :rolleyes:


                                          "I know which side I want to win regardless of how many wrongs they have to commit to achieve it." - Stan Shannon

                                          Web - Blog - RSS - Math - LinkedIn

                                          C Offline
                                          C Offline
                                          Colin Angus Mackay
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #21

                                          That explanation just confused me further.


                                          Upcoming Scottish Developers events: * UK Security Evangelists On Tour (2nd November, Edinburgh) * Developer Day Scotland: are you interested in speaking or attending? My: Website | Blog

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