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Woe to my developers

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • C Chris Maunder

    ...for I have discovered Microsoft Project and have bestowed upon them a multitude of Gantt Charts and timelines. He who foresaketh to update thou little black line of progress shall be wrteched indeed.

    cheers, Chris Maunder

    CodeProject.com : C++ MVP

    M Offline
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    Marc Clifton
    wrote on last edited by
    #8

    Chris Maunder wrote:

    He who foresaketh to update thou little black line of progress shall be wrteched indeed.

    [preacher mode] Who is the master and who is the slave? Are we not all slaves to the Gantt chart and timeline? Or is there a hierarchy of servitude? Free yourself from the chains of materialism! Time is relative! The work will get done when it is meant to be done, and no sooner! And only a divine power, more knowing than you, can say when something is meant to be done! You, Mr. Maunder, are the incarnation of the devil, basking in your false belief that you and your charts can control others! The only path to your soul's salvation is to burn those Gantt charts and timelines and free yourself to the light and divine power that cleanses you from fear of deadlines! Brothers, coworkers, come to Mr. Maunder's aid, now! Show him the divine light of inspiration so that he shall never more sin! [/preacher mode] Marc

    Thyme In The Country

    People are just notoriously impossible. --DavidCrow
    There's NO excuse for not commenting your code. -- John Simmons / outlaw programmer
    People who say that they will refactor their code later to make it "good" don't understand refactoring, nor the art and craft of programming. -- Josh Smith

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    • C Chris Maunder

      ...for I have discovered Microsoft Project and have bestowed upon them a multitude of Gantt Charts and timelines. He who foresaketh to update thou little black line of progress shall be wrteched indeed.

      cheers, Chris Maunder

      CodeProject.com : C++ MVP

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      Nemanja Trifunovic
      wrote on last edited by
      #9

      And those who survive Gant Charts, throw to FxCop


      Programming Blog utf8-cpp

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      • G Gary Kirkham

        In the beginning was the Plan. And then came the Assumptions. And the Assumptions were without form. And the Plan was without substance. And darkness was upon the face of the Workers. . . . .

        Gary Kirkham Forever Forgiven and Alive in the Spirit He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliot Me blog, You read

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        Nadajohn
        wrote on last edited by
        #10

        Awesome suddenly I see the light.

        Stay Focused Dan

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        • M Marc Clifton

          Chris Maunder wrote:

          He who foresaketh to update thou little black line of progress shall be wrteched indeed.

          [preacher mode] Who is the master and who is the slave? Are we not all slaves to the Gantt chart and timeline? Or is there a hierarchy of servitude? Free yourself from the chains of materialism! Time is relative! The work will get done when it is meant to be done, and no sooner! And only a divine power, more knowing than you, can say when something is meant to be done! You, Mr. Maunder, are the incarnation of the devil, basking in your false belief that you and your charts can control others! The only path to your soul's salvation is to burn those Gantt charts and timelines and free yourself to the light and divine power that cleanses you from fear of deadlines! Brothers, coworkers, come to Mr. Maunder's aid, now! Show him the divine light of inspiration so that he shall never more sin! [/preacher mode] Marc

          Thyme In The Country

          People are just notoriously impossible. --DavidCrow
          There's NO excuse for not commenting your code. -- John Simmons / outlaw programmer
          People who say that they will refactor their code later to make it "good" don't understand refactoring, nor the art and craft of programming. -- Josh Smith

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          Douglas Troy
          wrote on last edited by
          #11

          Where's the 1-800 number so I can send money to help!?!?! :rolleyes:


          :..::. Douglas H. Troy ::..
          Bad Astronomy |VCF|wxWidgets|WTL

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          • D Douglas Troy

            Where's the 1-800 number so I can send money to help!?!?! :rolleyes:


            :..::. Douglas H. Troy ::..
            Bad Astronomy |VCF|wxWidgets|WTL

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            peterchen
            wrote on last edited by
            #12

            just contact me in an private e-mail. Helping is so important! And I'm glad I can help you help!


            We are a big screwed up dysfunctional psychotic happy family - some more screwed up, others more happy, but everybody's psychotic joint venture definition of CP
            Linkify! || Fold With Us! || sighist

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            • P peterchen

              just contact me in an private e-mail. Helping is so important! And I'm glad I can help you help!


              We are a big screwed up dysfunctional psychotic happy family - some more screwed up, others more happy, but everybody's psychotic joint venture definition of CP
              Linkify! || Fold With Us! || sighist

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              Allen Anderson
              wrote on last edited by
              #13

              I'm pretty sure he was making a televangelist joke. Dunno if they have those as much in other countries but here in the US...

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              • C Chris Maunder

                ...for I have discovered Microsoft Project and have bestowed upon them a multitude of Gantt Charts and timelines. He who foresaketh to update thou little black line of progress shall be wrteched indeed.

                cheers, Chris Maunder

                CodeProject.com : C++ MVP

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                Roger Wright
                wrote on last edited by
                #14

                The chart is always right; reality often makes mistakes. The sooner your developers realize this, the happier their meaningless lives will appear to be.

                "...a photo album is like Life, but flat and stuck to pages." - Shog9

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                • C Chris Maunder

                  ...for I have discovered Microsoft Project and have bestowed upon them a multitude of Gantt Charts and timelines. He who foresaketh to update thou little black line of progress shall be wrteched indeed.

                  cheers, Chris Maunder

                  CodeProject.com : C++ MVP

                  M Offline
                  M Offline
                  Michael Dunn
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #15

                  I saw the words "Microsoft Project" and I started to see flashes of color before my eyes and I passed out.

                  --Mike-- Visual C++ MVP :cool: LINKS~! Ericahist | PimpFish | CP SearchBar v3.0 | C++ Forum FAQ

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                  • C Chris Maunder

                    ...for I have discovered Microsoft Project and have bestowed upon them a multitude of Gantt Charts and timelines. He who foresaketh to update thou little black line of progress shall be wrteched indeed.

                    cheers, Chris Maunder

                    CodeProject.com : C++ MVP

                    C Offline
                    C Offline
                    code frog 0
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #16

                    Ugh! I hated MS Project with passion. I'm so glad I don't get prodded by those evil-forsaken-email updates anymore. Do yourself and your team a favor uninstall it and do management by walking around. The esteem and dedication of the team will benefit and you'll have "face-value" feedback both to and from your team. I always felt like Project became my mini-manager from my manager... Just my .0000000000002 cents. :rose:

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                    • G Gary Kirkham

                      In the beginning was the Plan. And then came the Assumptions. And the Assumptions were without form. And the Plan was without substance. And darkness was upon the face of the Workers. . . . .

                      Gary Kirkham Forever Forgiven and Alive in the Spirit He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliot Me blog, You read

                      C Offline
                      C Offline
                      code frog 0
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #17

                      I really like that. I wonder how Genesis would read if it was converted to IT speak. "The admin picked up a stone and killed ableserver01 and reformatted it causing the compay to lose all their data. For this Cain was demoted to the help desk and had to wander aimlessly offering IT help until he found a job with Geek Squad."

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                      • M Marc Clifton

                        Chris Maunder wrote:

                        He who foresaketh to update thou little black line of progress shall be wrteched indeed.

                        [preacher mode] Who is the master and who is the slave? Are we not all slaves to the Gantt chart and timeline? Or is there a hierarchy of servitude? Free yourself from the chains of materialism! Time is relative! The work will get done when it is meant to be done, and no sooner! And only a divine power, more knowing than you, can say when something is meant to be done! You, Mr. Maunder, are the incarnation of the devil, basking in your false belief that you and your charts can control others! The only path to your soul's salvation is to burn those Gantt charts and timelines and free yourself to the light and divine power that cleanses you from fear of deadlines! Brothers, coworkers, come to Mr. Maunder's aid, now! Show him the divine light of inspiration so that he shall never more sin! [/preacher mode] Marc

                        Thyme In The Country

                        People are just notoriously impossible. --DavidCrow
                        There's NO excuse for not commenting your code. -- John Simmons / outlaw programmer
                        People who say that they will refactor their code later to make it "good" don't understand refactoring, nor the art and craft of programming. -- Josh Smith

                        C Offline
                        C Offline
                        code frog 0
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #18

                        Please send 4 m3 the c0des 2 do this! I will p4y 8000 m0nies for the c0des!;P

                        1 Reply Last reply
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                        • C code frog 0

                          I really like that. I wonder how Genesis would read if it was converted to IT speak. "The admin picked up a stone and killed ableserver01 and reformatted it causing the compay to lose all their data. For this Cain was demoted to the help desk and had to wander aimlessly offering IT help until he found a job with Geek Squad."

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                          G Offline
                          Gary Kirkham
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #19

                          code-frog wrote:

                          he found a job with Geek Squad

                          Those cars they drive are kinda cool :)

                          Gary Kirkham Forever Forgiven and Alive in the Spirit He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliot Me blog, You read

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                          • C code frog 0

                            I really like that. I wonder how Genesis would read if it was converted to IT speak. "The admin picked up a stone and killed ableserver01 and reformatted it causing the compay to lose all their data. For this Cain was demoted to the help desk and had to wander aimlessly offering IT help until he found a job with Geek Squad."

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                            Gary Kirkham
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #20

                            P.S. I didn't make that up and there is more to it...google will show you the rest.

                            Gary Kirkham Forever Forgiven and Alive in the Spirit He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliot Me blog, You read

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                            • G Gary Kirkham

                              P.S. I didn't make that up and there is more to it...google will show you the rest.

                              Gary Kirkham Forever Forgiven and Alive in the Spirit He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliot Me blog, You read

                              C Offline
                              C Offline
                              code frog 0
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #21

                              Cool! What's Google?:laugh:

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • C Chris Maunder

                                ...for I have discovered Microsoft Project and have bestowed upon them a multitude of Gantt Charts and timelines. He who foresaketh to update thou little black line of progress shall be wrteched indeed.

                                cheers, Chris Maunder

                                CodeProject.com : C++ MVP

                                M Offline
                                M Offline
                                Mike Gaskey
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #22

                                Chris Maunder wrote:

                                I have discovered Microsoft Project

                                God save you. soon you'll be a tool for MS Project instead of it being a tool for you. you do have one thing going for you though, you probably don't have an Office of Project Management. the stories I could tell.

                                Mike Dear NYT - the fact is, the founding fathers hung traitors. Vincent Reynolds: My opposition is as enlightened as your support, jackass. dennisd45: My view of the world is slightly more nuanced dennisd45 (the NAMBLA supporter) wrote: I know exactly what it means. So shut up you mother killing baby raper.

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                                • C Chris Maunder

                                  ...for I have discovered Microsoft Project and have bestowed upon them a multitude of Gantt Charts and timelines. He who foresaketh to update thou little black line of progress shall be wrteched indeed.

                                  cheers, Chris Maunder

                                  CodeProject.com : C++ MVP

                                  M Offline
                                  M Offline
                                  Michael A Barnhart
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #23

                                  Chris Maunder wrote:

                                  I have discovered Microsoft Project

                                  I prefer ToDoList, you can find it on code project.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • C Chris Maunder

                                    ...for I have discovered Microsoft Project and have bestowed upon them a multitude of Gantt Charts and timelines. He who foresaketh to update thou little black line of progress shall be wrteched indeed.

                                    cheers, Chris Maunder

                                    CodeProject.com : C++ MVP

                                    T Offline
                                    T Offline
                                    Tad McClellan
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #24

                                    Never liked MS Project for software projects. VSTS is god awful for project management. OnTime[^]is pretty good though.

                                    TadMcClellan.Com

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                                    • A Allen Anderson

                                      I'm pretty sure he was making a televangelist joke. Dunno if they have those as much in other countries but here in the US...

                                      P Offline
                                      P Offline
                                      peterchen
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #25

                                      thanks god, no, we don't have.


                                      We are a big screwed up dysfunctional psychotic happy family - some more screwed up, others more happy, but everybody's psychotic joint venture definition of CP
                                      Linkify! || Fold With Us! || sighist

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • C Chris Maunder

                                        ...for I have discovered Microsoft Project and have bestowed upon them a multitude of Gantt Charts and timelines. He who foresaketh to update thou little black line of progress shall be wrteched indeed.

                                        cheers, Chris Maunder

                                        CodeProject.com : C++ MVP

                                        G Offline
                                        G Offline
                                        Gary R Wheeler
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #26

                                        My God, what's next? All CP articles get converted to animated PowerPoint presentations?


                                        Software Zen: delete this;

                                        Fold With Us![^]

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                                        • C Chris Maunder

                                          ...for I have discovered Microsoft Project and have bestowed upon them a multitude of Gantt Charts and timelines. He who foresaketh to update thou little black line of progress shall be wrteched indeed.

                                          cheers, Chris Maunder

                                          CodeProject.com : C++ MVP

                                          G Offline
                                          G Offline
                                          GaryWoodfine
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #27

                                          Now All your projects will be late, as you will now lose time trying to update your project plan, deciphering what it actually means, and then actually trying to turn it into any meaningful information you can actually work with!! The best project plan utility I have ever used for software project, is actually called White Board and Marker!!! I used project for about 3 month once when I had a Team lead position, I un installed it in order to replace it with my White Board and marker and have never looked back!!


                                          "a fool will not learn from a wise man, but a wise man will learn from a fool" "It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed." - Theodore Roosevelt "Success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm." - Winston Churchill


                                          My Website || My Blog

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