need advice, please.. [modified]
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Leave her alone. Chasing her when she's mad gives her all the power and makes you look needy. Let her get over her anger, and then you can take off from where you left off. If you chase her while she's mad, it only makes her madder. And, don't kid yourself, you typed in her name because you'd like it to go further. She's probably mad because she's been waiting for you to ask her out. Why else would she get mad over something so trivial ?
Christian Graus - Microsoft MVP - C++ Metal Musings - Rex and my new metal blog
Christian Graus wrote:
Why else would she get mad over something so trivial ?
That's what I was thinking too.
Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
Currently working on C++/CLI in Action for Manning Publications. (*Sample chapter available online*) -
Christian Graus wrote:
Why else would she get mad over something so trivial ?
That's what I was thinking too.
Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
Currently working on C++/CLI in Action for Manning Publications. (*Sample chapter available online*)Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
That's what I was thinking too.
well, an year ago, she came to know that i had liked her when we first met her. and she came to the conclusion that i always had those feelings whenever i was with her . i dont deny having those feelings. may be i had those feelings somewhere deep in my mind. may be thats the reason why i put her name in the crush calculator. also, during an argument, i have talked to her in such a way that i hurt her the most. but, even i dont know what exactly she is angry about now. she just said that i have hurt her again by reminding of all the ugly situations that we faced a year back. please nish, can u give me any advice??? i really need help to get out of this.
vijay.
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Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
That's what I was thinking too.
well, an year ago, she came to know that i had liked her when we first met her. and she came to the conclusion that i always had those feelings whenever i was with her . i dont deny having those feelings. may be i had those feelings somewhere deep in my mind. may be thats the reason why i put her name in the crush calculator. also, during an argument, i have talked to her in such a way that i hurt her the most. but, even i dont know what exactly she is angry about now. she just said that i have hurt her again by reminding of all the ugly situations that we faced a year back. please nish, can u give me any advice??? i really need help to get out of this.
vijay.
vijay7173 wrote:
please nish, can u give me any advice???
I've only got one relationship right in my life; every other relationship I had was messed up. So I am not really the best person to take advice from, but you could email her - unlike a phone call, where she can refuse to pick up the phone, or an SMS message where you can't put a lot of text, an email allows you to write a detailed mail that explains how you feel. If she really likes you (even as a friend), she's bound to reply to you or at least communicate with you.
Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
Currently working on C++/CLI in Action for Manning Publications. (*Sample chapter available online*) -
So, she thinks that the act of entering her name in this crush calculator was demeaning? Friendship is based on honesty, and you are not being honest with her if you deny your feelings for her. All you can do is tell her how you feel, and if necessary (for friendships sake) you may need to walk away. If you are truly her friend, honesty is the only policy. Yes, it may hurt you, but living a lie is much worse. Remember though, that while other people can give advice, only you can decide what is best for you, so don't let anybody else "steamroller" you into something you don't want to do. Good luck.
Arthur Dent - "That would explain it. All my life I've had this strange feeling that there's something big and sinister going on in the world." Slartibartfast - "No. That's perfectly normal paranoia. Everybody in the universe gets that." Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.
Pete O`Hanlon wrote:
don't let anybody else "steamroller" you into something you don't want to do.
ya sure. i am just taking the advice from u all. then i will decide what to do. i am sure that your suggestions will definitely help me to take the right decision.
vijay.
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vijay7173 wrote:
please nish, can u give me any advice???
I've only got one relationship right in my life; every other relationship I had was messed up. So I am not really the best person to take advice from, but you could email her - unlike a phone call, where she can refuse to pick up the phone, or an SMS message where you can't put a lot of text, an email allows you to write a detailed mail that explains how you feel. If she really likes you (even as a friend), she's bound to reply to you or at least communicate with you.
Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
Currently working on C++/CLI in Action for Manning Publications. (*Sample chapter available online*)Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
but you could email her
yes, i did that. its only been two days and i have already sent her about 5 lengthy mails. i am afraid that they may irritate her even more. :sigh:
Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
So I am not really the best person to take advice from
if u are not the right person, u can consult with smitha and then tell me. may be a women can give a better advice to me. -- modified at 8:39 Tuesday 5th December, 2006
vijay.
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hello CPians. i got a lot of help from u all regarding programming. your suggestions has helped me to over come many of my problems regarding programming. but i now have a personal problem. can anyone give any suggestions to me in this. i am quite sure that i will get some sensible advice from u all. i have a friend who is very close to me than anyone else among my friends. in fact, she is my Best Friend ever.we are friends since 4 years. we were such good friends that others would envy us looking at our friendship. But last year, on 29th december, i received a mail called as "crush calculator" from one of my other friend. it asked me to enter the name with whom i had a crush with. i just had a try on it giving my friend's name. but the mail was such that whatever name we typed in the crush calculator, it will be sent to the sender of the mail. My friend came to know that i used her name in crush calculator. on 4th december last year, we had an argument with each other. that argument made the issue even a bigger one. soon, she was so furious that she didnt even talk to me for months. But later, after me putting a lot of effort, we again gradually became friends . our friendship was getting back to normal but i made a mess of my relationship with her again. two days back , i just reminded her of that incident again that took place exactly an year ago. i said her that it will be exactly one year that we were involved in an argument. and since i reminded her about that issue which had hurt her the most, she is again unhappy with me. she said that i have irritated her and hurt her again by reminding about the past incident. since its the second time that i have made a mistake, she is even more furious this time. she has again stopped talking to me. she is not receiving my call on the phone either. she is not replying to my mails or messages :sigh:.what should i do??? i feel like kicking myself for what i have done. most of my other friends tell me to give her some time. but i am not the one who waits for things to happen. i feel that things are not going to be better unless we talked on the issue. i have already apologised her for what i have done. but no response from my friend yet.i need an advice on what to do in order to get back my friend who is not even ready for talks. i have been in this situation earlier. but i dont want to wait for months to have this situation get better. i am looking out of sorts and dont know what to do. can anyone advice me on what to do??? please??? -- modi
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hello CPians. i got a lot of help from u all regarding programming. your suggestions has helped me to over come many of my problems regarding programming. but i now have a personal problem. can anyone give any suggestions to me in this. i am quite sure that i will get some sensible advice from u all. i have a friend who is very close to me than anyone else among my friends. in fact, she is my Best Friend ever.we are friends since 4 years. we were such good friends that others would envy us looking at our friendship. But last year, on 29th december, i received a mail called as "crush calculator" from one of my other friend. it asked me to enter the name with whom i had a crush with. i just had a try on it giving my friend's name. but the mail was such that whatever name we typed in the crush calculator, it will be sent to the sender of the mail. My friend came to know that i used her name in crush calculator. on 4th december last year, we had an argument with each other. that argument made the issue even a bigger one. soon, she was so furious that she didnt even talk to me for months. But later, after me putting a lot of effort, we again gradually became friends . our friendship was getting back to normal but i made a mess of my relationship with her again. two days back , i just reminded her of that incident again that took place exactly an year ago. i said her that it will be exactly one year that we were involved in an argument. and since i reminded her about that issue which had hurt her the most, she is again unhappy with me. she said that i have irritated her and hurt her again by reminding about the past incident. since its the second time that i have made a mistake, she is even more furious this time. she has again stopped talking to me. she is not receiving my call on the phone either. she is not replying to my mails or messages :sigh:.what should i do??? i feel like kicking myself for what i have done. most of my other friends tell me to give her some time. but i am not the one who waits for things to happen. i feel that things are not going to be better unless we talked on the issue. i have already apologised her for what i have done. but no response from my friend yet.i need an advice on what to do in order to get back my friend who is not even ready for talks. i have been in this situation earlier. but i dont want to wait for months to have this situation get better. i am looking out of sorts and dont know what to do. can anyone advice me on what to do??? please??? -- modi
Hey man, This post sure did get alot of replies. It is never easy when a man and a woman have a problem. I am not saying anything wrong about women. You have to keep in mind that your gender plays a big part on how you think and handle different problems. But, I hope you don't take this wrong man, from reading just a few of your responses here what I see: 1. Whether it is love or lust you got it bad for her 2. She doesn't 3. She is not that good of a friend for you 4. You probly feed her ego and you didn't even know it that is why when you did something other than make her feel good, she dropped you like QBasic. My advice: 1. Leave her alone 2. The less you chase her the less power you give her over you 3. If she is to be a good friend she will come back to you 4. Quit applogizing to her 5. Remember you were you before there was her, so be you Good luck, Jason
Sometimes simply is better than fancy. The developer stated after typing code line 10 billion!!!
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Wjousts wrote:
Advice: use paragraphs.
yes sir, as per your advice, i have used the paragraphs now.
vijay.
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Hey man, This post sure did get alot of replies. It is never easy when a man and a woman have a problem. I am not saying anything wrong about women. You have to keep in mind that your gender plays a big part on how you think and handle different problems. But, I hope you don't take this wrong man, from reading just a few of your responses here what I see: 1. Whether it is love or lust you got it bad for her 2. She doesn't 3. She is not that good of a friend for you 4. You probly feed her ego and you didn't even know it that is why when you did something other than make her feel good, she dropped you like QBasic. My advice: 1. Leave her alone 2. The less you chase her the less power you give her over you 3. If she is to be a good friend she will come back to you 4. Quit applogizing to her 5. Remember you were you before there was her, so be you Good luck, Jason
Sometimes simply is better than fancy. The developer stated after typing code line 10 billion!!!
thank u jason. i agree with some points in you. and sorry if i have posted anything that i should not have posted. but i am not finding any help from my friends here. so i decided to take the help from the CPians here.
vijay.
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Leave her alone. Chasing her when she's mad gives her all the power and makes you look needy. Let her get over her anger, and then you can take off from where you left off. If you chase her while she's mad, it only makes her madder. And, don't kid yourself, you typed in her name because you'd like it to go further. She's probably mad because she's been waiting for you to ask her out. Why else would she get mad over something so trivial ?
Christian Graus - Microsoft MVP - C++ Metal Musings - Rex and my new metal blog
Christian Graus wrote:
She's probably mad because she's been waiting for you to ask her out. Why else would she get mad over something so trivial ?
Exactly what I tought!
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thank u jason. i agree with some points in you. and sorry if i have posted anything that i should not have posted. but i am not finding any help from my friends here. so i decided to take the help from the CPians here.
vijay.
vijay7173 wrote:
sorry if i have posted anything that i should not have posted
Your post doesn't bother me. It is always intersting subject 'problems between men and women'
vijay7173 wrote:
so i decided to take the help from the CPians here.
You are a fellow developer and you proposed a problem and I gave you my best advice based on my experiances. Hope you figure it out, Jason
Sometimes simply is better than fancy. The developer stated after typing code line 10 billion!!!
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vijay7173 wrote:
sorry if i have posted anything that i should not have posted
Your post doesn't bother me. It is always intersting subject 'problems between men and women'
vijay7173 wrote:
so i decided to take the help from the CPians here.
You are a fellow developer and you proposed a problem and I gave you my best advice based on my experiances. Hope you figure it out, Jason
Sometimes simply is better than fancy. The developer stated after typing code line 10 billion!!!
jason_lakewhitney wrote:
Your post doesn't bother me.
thanks...
jason_lakewhitney wrote:
It is always intersting subject 'problems between men and women'
yes, but i feel it is painful for the one who is actually involved in the problem.
jason_lakewhitney wrote:
I gave you my best advice based on my experiances
well, thank u. that is what i am looking for here today.
vijay.
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Christian Graus wrote:
She's probably mad because she's been waiting for you to ask her out. Why else would she get mad over something so trivial ?
Exactly what I tought!
Ernest Laurentin wrote:
Exactly what I tought!
but she said to me that she was looking at me just as a good friend and nothing else. and she says that even now.
vijay.
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hello CPians. i got a lot of help from u all regarding programming. your suggestions has helped me to over come many of my problems regarding programming. but i now have a personal problem. can anyone give any suggestions to me in this. i am quite sure that i will get some sensible advice from u all. i have a friend who is very close to me than anyone else among my friends. in fact, she is my Best Friend ever.we are friends since 4 years. we were such good friends that others would envy us looking at our friendship. But last year, on 29th december, i received a mail called as "crush calculator" from one of my other friend. it asked me to enter the name with whom i had a crush with. i just had a try on it giving my friend's name. but the mail was such that whatever name we typed in the crush calculator, it will be sent to the sender of the mail. My friend came to know that i used her name in crush calculator. on 4th december last year, we had an argument with each other. that argument made the issue even a bigger one. soon, she was so furious that she didnt even talk to me for months. But later, after me putting a lot of effort, we again gradually became friends . our friendship was getting back to normal but i made a mess of my relationship with her again. two days back , i just reminded her of that incident again that took place exactly an year ago. i said her that it will be exactly one year that we were involved in an argument. and since i reminded her about that issue which had hurt her the most, she is again unhappy with me. she said that i have irritated her and hurt her again by reminding about the past incident. since its the second time that i have made a mistake, she is even more furious this time. she has again stopped talking to me. she is not receiving my call on the phone either. she is not replying to my mails or messages :sigh:.what should i do??? i feel like kicking myself for what i have done. most of my other friends tell me to give her some time. but i am not the one who waits for things to happen. i feel that things are not going to be better unless we talked on the issue. i have already apologised her for what i have done. but no response from my friend yet.i need an advice on what to do in order to get back my friend who is not even ready for talks. i have been in this situation earlier. but i dont want to wait for months to have this situation get better. i am looking out of sorts and dont know what to do. can anyone advice me on what to do??? please??? -- modi
My future advice to you is: never EVER open a crush calculator again! They are EVIL. But the only way to actually cross back after using a Crush Calculator, is to use a Sorry Calculator, which will email the person you type in saying you're sorry, and things should go back to the way they were for you. :)
"For fifty bucks I'd put my face in their soup and blow." - George Costanza
~ Web SQL Utility - asp.net app to query Access, SQL server, MySQL. Stores history, favourites.
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Why does your post remind me of one of those "Dear Sir, you are a wonderful person and because of that I need your bank account information to deposit a billion trillion dollars left behind by my rich uncle..." Marc
People are just notoriously impossible. --DavidCrow
There's NO excuse for not commenting your code. -- John Simmons / outlaw programmer
People who say that they will refactor their code later to make it "good" don't understand refactoring, nor the art and craft of programming. -- Josh SmithWhat on earth is that poor chap asking you apart from advice? :confused: A shade crabbier than usual today, are you? ;)
Cheers, Vikram.
"Life isn't fair, and the world is full of unscrupulous characters. There are things worth fighting for, killing for and dying for, but it's a really small list. Chalk it up to experience, let it go, and move on to the next positive experience in your life." - Christopher Duncan.
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My future advice to you is: never EVER open a crush calculator again! They are EVIL. But the only way to actually cross back after using a Crush Calculator, is to use a Sorry Calculator, which will email the person you type in saying you're sorry, and things should go back to the way they were for you. :)
"For fifty bucks I'd put my face in their soup and blow." - George Costanza
~ Web SQL Utility - asp.net app to query Access, SQL server, MySQL. Stores history, favourites.
Ashley van Gerven wrote:
use a Sorry Calculator
does anything as such really exists???
vijay.
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Ashley van Gerven wrote:
use a Sorry Calculator
does anything as such really exists???
vijay.
Not that I know of, unfortunately :sigh:
"For fifty bucks I'd put my face in their soup and blow." - George Costanza
~ Web SQL Utility: query Access, SQL server, MySQL. Stores history, favourites.
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Not that I know of, unfortunately :sigh:
"For fifty bucks I'd put my face in their soup and blow." - George Costanza
~ Web SQL Utility: query Access, SQL server, MySQL. Stores history, favourites.
may be i should develop my own sorry calculator and distribute it free for others.
vijay.