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  3. Resume Joke of the Day

Resume Joke of the Day

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  • F Offline
    F Offline
    Feline C
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    Ever since the Search Engine Optimizer resume, I became famous in my neighbourhood for writing resumes :-D Also it motivated me to rewrite my own resume(It was not more than a bio-data) when I searched for some tips on Resume writing, I stumbled upon this funny section, which are reportedly taken from real resumes and cover letters: # Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business. # I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one. # My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage. # I procrastinate - especially when the task is unpleasant. # Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions

    "One Rose can be my garden, One Friend, my World"

    E J V 3 Replies Last reply
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    • F Feline C

      Ever since the Search Engine Optimizer resume, I became famous in my neighbourhood for writing resumes :-D Also it motivated me to rewrite my own resume(It was not more than a bio-data) when I searched for some tips on Resume writing, I stumbled upon this funny section, which are reportedly taken from real resumes and cover letters: # Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business. # I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one. # My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage. # I procrastinate - especially when the task is unpleasant. # Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions

      "One Rose can be my garden, One Friend, my World"

      E Offline
      E Offline
      El Corazon
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Feline C wrote:

      Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions

      I have interviewed someone who felt that way, and we have fired someone because of similar issues taken to the severe. As bizarre as that statement reads, I've run into it twice, and on a 3rd case an employee had problems with this, but straightened up.

      _________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)

      L 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • F Feline C

        Ever since the Search Engine Optimizer resume, I became famous in my neighbourhood for writing resumes :-D Also it motivated me to rewrite my own resume(It was not more than a bio-data) when I searched for some tips on Resume writing, I stumbled upon this funny section, which are reportedly taken from real resumes and cover letters: # Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business. # I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one. # My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage. # I procrastinate - especially when the task is unpleasant. # Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions

        "One Rose can be my garden, One Friend, my World"

        J Offline
        J Offline
        Josh Smith
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        Feline C wrote:

        # Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions

        That sounds reasonable to me. I don't have to show up to work until 10 or 10:30. ;P

        :josh: My WPF Blog[^]

        P F 2 Replies Last reply
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        • E El Corazon

          Feline C wrote:

          Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions

          I have interviewed someone who felt that way, and we have fired someone because of similar issues taken to the severe. As bizarre as that statement reads, I've run into it twice, and on a 3rd case an employee had problems with this, but straightened up.

          _________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)

          L Offline
          L Offline
          Lost User
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          I've always been a late person, doing well if I can get to sleep by midnight so even when I have been at a place with fixed shifts I was allowed to do flexitime. Elaine (laggardly fluffy tigress)

          The tigress is here :-D

          E 1 Reply Last reply
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          • L Lost User

            I've always been a late person, doing well if I can get to sleep by midnight so even when I have been at a place with fixed shifts I was allowed to do flexitime. Elaine (laggardly fluffy tigress)

            The tigress is here :-D

            E Offline
            E Offline
            El Corazon
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            Trollslayer wrote:

            I was allowed to do flexitime.

            so are we... but you have to at least put in your hours and show up for important presentations.... sleeping until 3pm and working for 2 hours just doesn't cut it. :)

            _________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)

            M 1 Reply Last reply
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            • J Josh Smith

              Feline C wrote:

              # Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions

              That sounds reasonable to me. I don't have to show up to work until 10 or 10:30. ;P

              :josh: My WPF Blog[^]

              P Offline
              P Offline
              Pete OHanlon
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              I know the feeling, but since I'm the boss nobody can tell me off.:-D

              Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • E El Corazon

                Trollslayer wrote:

                I was allowed to do flexitime.

                so are we... but you have to at least put in your hours and show up for important presentations.... sleeping until 3pm and working for 2 hours just doesn't cut it. :)

                _________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)

                M Offline
                M Offline
                Mark Salsbery
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                Jeffry J. Brickley wrote:

                sleeping until 3pm and working for 2 hours just doesn't cut it.

                Duuude, that place sucks! :cool: :laugh:

                "Great job, team. Head back to base for debriefing and cocktails." (Spottswoode "Team America")

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • J Josh Smith

                  Feline C wrote:

                  # Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions

                  That sounds reasonable to me. I don't have to show up to work until 10 or 10:30. ;P

                  :josh: My WPF Blog[^]

                  F Offline
                  F Offline
                  Feline C
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  It was actually lke this: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions :)

                  "One Rose can be my garden, One Friend, my World"

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • F Feline C

                    Ever since the Search Engine Optimizer resume, I became famous in my neighbourhood for writing resumes :-D Also it motivated me to rewrite my own resume(It was not more than a bio-data) when I searched for some tips on Resume writing, I stumbled upon this funny section, which are reportedly taken from real resumes and cover letters: # Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business. # I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one. # My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage. # I procrastinate - especially when the task is unpleasant. # Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions

                    "One Rose can be my garden, One Friend, my World"

                    V Offline
                    V Offline
                    Vasudevan Deepak Kumar
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    Effective and convincing resume writing is indeed a skill. Isn't it?

                    Vasudevan Deepak Kumar Personal Homepage Tech Gossips

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