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  3. What would a [insert language] programmer look like?

What would a [insert language] programmer look like?

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  • L leckey 0

    If you were to describe a 'typical' programmer of a certain language, what would they look like? (Please don't just say, 'me.') Would they have thick glasses? Dead plants in their cubicle? The hippest/newest mp3 player? Nervous when anyone walks by? Constantly confident even under pressure? Are their pants falling down? How much coffee/Mt. Dew/Red Bull have they consumed in the day? Feel free to also describe DBAs, techs, etc. I'm trying to write a funny short on how to find and identify programmers in the wild of offices.

    _________________________________________ You can't fix stupid, but you can medicate crazy.

    E Offline
    E Offline
    Eytukan
    wrote on last edited by
    #22

    Programmer of the PEC[^]


    Press: 1500 to 2,200 messages in just 6 days? How's that possible sir? **Dr.Brad :**Well,I just replied to everything Graus did and then argued with Negus for a bit.

    R 1 Reply Last reply
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    • E Eytukan

      Chris Maunder wrote:

      and balding.

      :laugh::laugh: , Damn so C++ is the culprit? Chris can you specify the exact version of it? So that I can stop using it.


      Press: 1500 to 2,200 messages in just 6 days? How's that possible sir? **Dr.Brad :**Well,I just replied to everything Graus did and then argued with Negus for a bit.

      C Offline
      C Offline
      Chris Maunder
      wrote on last edited by
      #23

      Version 6, but each version after that is worse.

      cheers, Chris Maunder

      CodeProject.com : C++ MVP

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • R Roger Wright

        Don't forget the suspenders!

        "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

        J Offline
        J Offline
        jasperp
        wrote on last edited by
        #24

        dont forget the fanny-pack

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • R Rama Krishna Vavilala

          VB(VB.NET): innocent looking guy seems to be just out of the college. Not Much Red Bull or Caffeine. C++: Appear egotistical, over confident, aloof personality,. C#(C++ background): A clear aura of superiority, a frustrated look every now and then. C#(VB background): Happy confident, delighted, amazed Java: Chatty, Get along well with other Java people, usually Polite, discuss a lot with others about programming, Usually will have MP3 players JavaScript/Web: Consume more Caffeine, usually Hardworking, every now and then screaming 'Yeah! It worked' DBAs: Irritated, Frustrated, Appear busy (even though if they are not), Slow to respond

          A Offline
          A Offline
          Aamir Butt
          wrote on last edited by
          #25

          Rama Krishna Vavilala wrote:

          C++: Appear egotistical, over confident, aloof personality,.

          Yeah yeah... I know that. Don't repeat this to me again.

          Rama Krishna Vavilala wrote:

          DBAs: Irritated, Frustrated, Appear busy

          So true :)

          "Some people believe football is a matter of life and death. I'm very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that. -- Bill Shankly"

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          • C Chris Maunder

            From observations at conferences: (and this will probably offend, oh, everyone...) VB: Plus size, bad dress sense. No more doughnuts for you lads. C#: The Khaki and golf shirt crowd. A little bright eyed and bushy tailed for my jaded sensibilities. C++: Lean, intense and balding. Often into rock climbing or mountain climbing DBAs: Large mountain men. Dave and I have fond memories of being in a SQL session and looking in awe at the size of the guys in the room. Clearly they don't just write SQL. They physically wrestle and beat the data out of the SQL servers. WebDevs: Goatees and soul patches. A little precious sometimes. Architects: Odd. You have the feeling they are mentally rearranging your brain to make it work better as they talk to you. And then there are the Aging Rock Stars, the guys who were big a few years ago: Developing paunch, greying hair, wise and sometimes sad or cynical eyes. Excellent to sit next to in keynote talks. Partial to a drink. Sometimes during the keynotes.

            cheers, Chris Maunder

            CodeProject.com : C++ MVP

            A Offline
            A Offline
            Anish M
            wrote on last edited by
            #26

            Chris Maunder wrote:

            Clearly they don't just write SQL. They physically wrestle and beat the data out of the SQL servers.

            :-D

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • S Shog9 0

              C++: Thin and wiry, a patchwork of pale skin, odd scars, and wind burn. They appear clumsy, until suddenly they turn on you. VB: Remember the "O face" guy from Office Space? Like that. C#: Kinda pudgy. But cheerful. Java: Despite their weasel-like appearance and demeanor, these programmers are kind, generous folk at heart. Web: Functioning alcoholics. SQL: Malfunctioning alcoholics.

              ----

              ...the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more...

              S Offline
              S Offline
              Stuart Dootson
              wrote on last edited by
              #27

              I look like C#...but I do C++. Still, I guess I should be relieved I don't resemble Mr VB...

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • L leckey 0

                If you were to describe a 'typical' programmer of a certain language, what would they look like? (Please don't just say, 'me.') Would they have thick glasses? Dead plants in their cubicle? The hippest/newest mp3 player? Nervous when anyone walks by? Constantly confident even under pressure? Are their pants falling down? How much coffee/Mt. Dew/Red Bull have they consumed in the day? Feel free to also describe DBAs, techs, etc. I'm trying to write a funny short on how to find and identify programmers in the wild of offices.

                _________________________________________ You can't fix stupid, but you can medicate crazy.

                P Offline
                P Offline
                peterchen
                wrote on last edited by
                #28

                It is well known that for COM programming, you need a beard and glasses.


                Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Velopers, Develprs, Developers!
                We are a big screwed up dysfunctional psychotic happy family - some more screwed up, others more happy, but everybody's psychotic joint venture definition of CP
                Linkify!|Fold With Us!

                C L 2 Replies Last reply
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                • V Vikram A Punathambekar

                  Suspenders!

                  š Cheers, Vikram.


                  I don't know and you don't either.    Militant Agnostic

                  R Offline
                  R Offline
                  Russell Jones
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #29

                  are they ladies? cross dressers? ;-) russell

                  V 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • R Roger Wright

                    Don't forget the suspenders!

                    "A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"

                    H Offline
                    H Offline
                    hairy_hats
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #30

                    Note to UKians: suspenders is USian for braces. Though I'm sure that a few UNIX gurus do wear suspenders in the UK sense...

                    M 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • L leckey 0

                      If you were to describe a 'typical' programmer of a certain language, what would they look like? (Please don't just say, 'me.') Would they have thick glasses? Dead plants in their cubicle? The hippest/newest mp3 player? Nervous when anyone walks by? Constantly confident even under pressure? Are their pants falling down? How much coffee/Mt. Dew/Red Bull have they consumed in the day? Feel free to also describe DBAs, techs, etc. I'm trying to write a funny short on how to find and identify programmers in the wild of offices.

                      _________________________________________ You can't fix stupid, but you can medicate crazy.

                      R Offline
                      R Offline
                      Rajesh R Subramanian
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #31

                      Ruby on Rails: Their faces are pink, with a cheerful smile because they think the world is revolving around them, and nobody bothers to go and tell them the truth.


                      [Frozen Thoughts] | [My Life - My Prayer]
                      Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself. - Cicero ப்ரம்மா

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • E Eytukan

                        Programmer of the PEC[^]


                        Press: 1500 to 2,200 messages in just 6 days? How's that possible sir? **Dr.Brad :**Well,I just replied to everything Graus did and then argued with Negus for a bit.

                        R Offline
                        R Offline
                        Rajesh R Subramanian
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #32

                        VuNic wrote:

                        Programmer of the PEC[^]

                        Programmer? PEC? Irony! Call them writers, we are talking about software programming here! ;P


                        [Frozen Thoughts] | [My Life - My Prayer]
                        Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself. - Cicero ப்ரம்மா

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • R Rama Krishna Vavilala

                          VB(VB.NET): innocent looking guy seems to be just out of the college. Not Much Red Bull or Caffeine. C++: Appear egotistical, over confident, aloof personality,. C#(C++ background): A clear aura of superiority, a frustrated look every now and then. C#(VB background): Happy confident, delighted, amazed Java: Chatty, Get along well with other Java people, usually Polite, discuss a lot with others about programming, Usually will have MP3 players JavaScript/Web: Consume more Caffeine, usually Hardworking, every now and then screaming 'Yeah! It worked' DBAs: Irritated, Frustrated, Appear busy (even though if they are not), Slow to respond

                          H Offline
                          H Offline
                          hairy_hats
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #33

                          Rama Krishna Vavilala wrote:

                          every now and then screaming 'Yeah! It worked'

                          That's me using C# when trying to find a CScrollView equivalent, followed by a frail scream as I realise it doesn't actually work, then repeated thuds of my head on the desk. :mad: Without that I cannot achieve my aura of C# superiority and must remain under the depilatory effects of VC6. :^)

                          M 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • R Russell Morris

                            Chris Maunder wrote:

                            Precious == a little high maintenance, a little delicate sometimes.

                            Ahh... I see. Here, Strawberry Shortcake[^] is precious.

                            -- Russell Morris Morbo: "WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!"

                            T Offline
                            T Offline
                            TrickyPhilbert
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #34

                            Can't believe a link to Strawberry Shortcake has been posted on this board!!

                            L 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • L leckey 0

                              If you were to describe a 'typical' programmer of a certain language, what would they look like? (Please don't just say, 'me.') Would they have thick glasses? Dead plants in their cubicle? The hippest/newest mp3 player? Nervous when anyone walks by? Constantly confident even under pressure? Are their pants falling down? How much coffee/Mt. Dew/Red Bull have they consumed in the day? Feel free to also describe DBAs, techs, etc. I'm trying to write a funny short on how to find and identify programmers in the wild of offices.

                              _________________________________________ You can't fix stupid, but you can medicate crazy.

                              C Offline
                              C Offline
                              canOgrog
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #35

                              C#: Concerned about image, thin glasses, modern black duffle coat/jacket, smart dress code basically! Oh and always with a Starbucks coffee in one hand... Java: Chequered shirt and possibly a goatee... a bit overweight. Perl: Very dark dress code, usually a Linux guru with tendencies to hate Microsoft. Oracle: Armani, Versace, Dior... you name it! Well, these are only from my experience, it will be interesting to see all the others!

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • P peterchen

                                It is well known that for COM programming, you need a beard and glasses.


                                Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Velopers, Develprs, Developers!
                                We are a big screwed up dysfunctional psychotic happy family - some more screwed up, others more happy, but everybody's psychotic joint venture definition of CP
                                Linkify!|Fold With Us!

                                C Offline
                                C Offline
                                canOgrog
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #36

                                Hear hear, although I fall into neither of those categories!

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • R Russell Jones

                                  are they ladies? cross dressers? ;-) russell

                                  V Offline
                                  V Offline
                                  Vikram A Punathambekar
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #37

                                  http://www.perturb.org/display/entry/462/[^] :-D

                                  Cheers, Vikram.


                                  The cold will freeze our stares We won't care...

                                  R 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • V Vikram A Punathambekar

                                    http://www.perturb.org/display/entry/462/[^] :-D

                                    Cheers, Vikram.


                                    The cold will freeze our stares We won't care...

                                    R Offline
                                    R Offline
                                    Russell Jones
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #38

                                    lol, Suspenders are very different in English from what they are in American ;-) Russell

                                    D 2 Replies Last reply
                                    0
                                    • N ne0h

                                      Well, my transition like: C->VB6->HTML(Web)->Java->Unix C->VB.NET+C#+ASP.NET->PHP->COBOL(Mainframe) n my mood transition like: C:: Happy WOW! I did my first hello world VB6:: I like Dim and MsgBox HTML:: Marquee is Cool Java:: OOP is awesome Unix:: Socket LAN Chat program uff...UNIX is God .NET:: God Bless MS, finest VS IDE ever made PHP:: Whatever you type, it works...feels you can change the world COBOL:: I want to quit my job, depressed, life has no meaning, hardly sleep at night, life is like black screen. I hate PERFORM, PROCEDURE DIVISION. :(( :(( -- modified at 0:50 Wednesday 14th March, 2007

                                      /**/

                                      O Offline
                                      O Offline
                                      Olli
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #39

                                      ne0h wrote:

                                      PHP:: Whatever you type, it works...feels you can change the world

                                      It only feels like? Not really.... ;)

                                      Olli "Ooooooh, they have the internet on computers now!"
                                      Homer Simpson
                                      :beer: + :java: = NULL :=> X|

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • C Chris Maunder

                                        From observations at conferences: (and this will probably offend, oh, everyone...) VB: Plus size, bad dress sense. No more doughnuts for you lads. C#: The Khaki and golf shirt crowd. A little bright eyed and bushy tailed for my jaded sensibilities. C++: Lean, intense and balding. Often into rock climbing or mountain climbing DBAs: Large mountain men. Dave and I have fond memories of being in a SQL session and looking in awe at the size of the guys in the room. Clearly they don't just write SQL. They physically wrestle and beat the data out of the SQL servers. WebDevs: Goatees and soul patches. A little precious sometimes. Architects: Odd. You have the feeling they are mentally rearranging your brain to make it work better as they talk to you. And then there are the Aging Rock Stars, the guys who were big a few years ago: Developing paunch, greying hair, wise and sometimes sad or cynical eyes. Excellent to sit next to in keynote talks. Partial to a drink. Sometimes during the keynotes.

                                        cheers, Chris Maunder

                                        CodeProject.com : C++ MVP

                                        L Offline
                                        L Offline
                                        Lost User
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #40

                                        Perfect! But which are you?

                                        The tigress is here :-D

                                        C 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • T TrickyPhilbert

                                          Can't believe a link to Strawberry Shortcake has been posted on this board!!

                                          L Offline
                                          L Offline
                                          Lost User
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #41

                                          True, Happy Tree Friends would be much better - not work safe so no link!

                                          The tigress is here :-D

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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