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  4. Bernard Manning - RIP

Bernard Manning - RIP

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Back Room
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  • A AndyKEnZ

    Well Waldheim may have died, but that's surely overshadowed by the sad loss of Bernard Manning. He was a great stand-up comedian from a disappearing age when political correctness hadn't reached the ridiculous levels of today, here's an idea of his sense of humour, there's more on YouTube: A man goes to the dentist and asks what treatments are available. The dentist says there's the top notch treatment, brilliant teeth, no blood and no pain. But it costs forty thousand pounds. The man asks what else is on offer, the dentist says there is the next level down, good teeth, a little bit of blood and bit of pain, ten thousand pounds. The man asks if there's anything cheaper, the dentist explains that the basic treatment means poor teeth, lots of blood and lots of pain, but it is only forty quid. The man says "fine I'll take that and send the wife in tomorrow" That's fairly mild in comparison to some of his gems.

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    Ryan Roberts
    wrote on last edited by
    #4

    The worst thing was all the people going to the embassy club to be 'ironic', giving the fat bastard more than he deserved. Stan Fokker Boardman should be gone soon too.

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    • A AndyKEnZ

      Well Waldheim may have died, but that's surely overshadowed by the sad loss of Bernard Manning. He was a great stand-up comedian from a disappearing age when political correctness hadn't reached the ridiculous levels of today, here's an idea of his sense of humour, there's more on YouTube: A man goes to the dentist and asks what treatments are available. The dentist says there's the top notch treatment, brilliant teeth, no blood and no pain. But it costs forty thousand pounds. The man asks what else is on offer, the dentist says there is the next level down, good teeth, a little bit of blood and bit of pain, ten thousand pounds. The man asks if there's anything cheaper, the dentist explains that the basic treatment means poor teeth, lots of blood and lots of pain, but it is only forty quid. The man says "fine I'll take that and send the wife in tomorrow" That's fairly mild in comparison to some of his gems.

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      Sylvester george
      wrote on last edited by
      #5

      really its nice

      Regards, Sylvester G sylvester_g_m@yahoo.com

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      • L Lost User

        Thankyou for reminding me what an unfunny fat biggoted twat he was.

        Truth is the subjection of reality to an individuals perception

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        R Giskard Reventlov
        wrote on last edited by
        #6

        He was of a genre that worked in the context of the period. It is unfair to judge him against the backdrop of today's pc driven world where humor is seen as a weapon with which to offend rather than amuse. Okay, he was a fat twat but he was an equal opportunity bigot: he took the piss out of everyone.

        home
        tastier than delicious

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        • A AndyKEnZ

          Well Waldheim may have died, but that's surely overshadowed by the sad loss of Bernard Manning. He was a great stand-up comedian from a disappearing age when political correctness hadn't reached the ridiculous levels of today, here's an idea of his sense of humour, there's more on YouTube: A man goes to the dentist and asks what treatments are available. The dentist says there's the top notch treatment, brilliant teeth, no blood and no pain. But it costs forty thousand pounds. The man asks what else is on offer, the dentist says there is the next level down, good teeth, a little bit of blood and bit of pain, ten thousand pounds. The man asks if there's anything cheaper, the dentist explains that the basic treatment means poor teeth, lots of blood and lots of pain, but it is only forty quid. The man says "fine I'll take that and send the wife in tomorrow" That's fairly mild in comparison to some of his gems.

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          Lost User
          wrote on last edited by
          #7

          Sometimes he would call out 'Keep your friends white!' as he left the stage. Oh yes, my sides are splitting.


          Kicking squealing Gucci little piggy.
          The Rob Blog

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          • R R Giskard Reventlov

            He was of a genre that worked in the context of the period. It is unfair to judge him against the backdrop of today's pc driven world where humor is seen as a weapon with which to offend rather than amuse. Okay, he was a fat twat but he was an equal opportunity bigot: he took the piss out of everyone.

            home
            tastier than delicious

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            AndyKEnZ
            wrote on last edited by
            #8

            Like the couple who won a million on the lottery, she said what shall we do with it? we'll put it in the bank and every twelve months we'll buy something with the interest said her husband. So after twelve months she says what shall we do with the interest? We'll have an inside toilet fitted he said, and so they did. Another twelve month passed and she asked again, we'll have a barbecue for all the neighbours he said, so they did and they're all standing around scoffing and he's approached by a neighbour "aye you've done well since winning that million, before you used to sh&& in the garden and eat indoors."

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            • R R Giskard Reventlov

              He was of a genre that worked in the context of the period. It is unfair to judge him against the backdrop of today's pc driven world where humor is seen as a weapon with which to offend rather than amuse. Okay, he was a fat twat but he was an equal opportunity bigot: he took the piss out of everyone.

              home
              tastier than delicious

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              Lost User
              wrote on last edited by
              #9

              He wasnt even funny! He was a sad old ignorant fat biggoted sexist racist northern peasant. Really, he was crap. I am old enough to have seen him on TV in the 70s, he was absoloute crap. Hell, Mike Yarwood, the two Ronnies, the Irish guy with a missing finger, Morcombe and Wise were all streets ahead. Heck, everyone weas streets ahead of that cunt.

              Truth is the subjection of reality to an individuals perception

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              • A AndyKEnZ

                Like the couple who won a million on the lottery, she said what shall we do with it? we'll put it in the bank and every twelve months we'll buy something with the interest said her husband. So after twelve months she says what shall we do with the interest? We'll have an inside toilet fitted he said, and so they did. Another twelve month passed and she asked again, we'll have a barbecue for all the neighbours he said, so they did and they're all standing around scoffing and he's approached by a neighbour "aye you've done well since winning that million, before you used to sh&& in the garden and eat indoors."

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                Lost User
                wrote on last edited by
                #10

                Yes, really, really not very funny at all.

                Truth is the subjection of reality to an individuals perception

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                • L Lost User

                  He wasnt even funny! He was a sad old ignorant fat biggoted sexist racist northern peasant. Really, he was crap. I am old enough to have seen him on TV in the 70s, he was absoloute crap. Hell, Mike Yarwood, the two Ronnies, the Irish guy with a missing finger, Morcombe and Wise were all streets ahead. Heck, everyone weas streets ahead of that cunt.

                  Truth is the subjection of reality to an individuals perception

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                  A Offline
                  AndyKEnZ
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #11

                  fat_boy wrote:

                  He wasnt even funny! He was a sad old ignorant fat biggoted sexist racist northern peasant.

                  I say what a bigoted, sexist, weightist, racist, everything-else-ist statement that was; you must be a southern git ;P

                  fat_boy wrote:

                  the Irish guy with a missing finger

                  You've lost all comedy credibility for not remembering the great Dave Allen's name, hah!

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                  • A AndyKEnZ

                    Well Waldheim may have died, but that's surely overshadowed by the sad loss of Bernard Manning. He was a great stand-up comedian from a disappearing age when political correctness hadn't reached the ridiculous levels of today, here's an idea of his sense of humour, there's more on YouTube: A man goes to the dentist and asks what treatments are available. The dentist says there's the top notch treatment, brilliant teeth, no blood and no pain. But it costs forty thousand pounds. The man asks what else is on offer, the dentist says there is the next level down, good teeth, a little bit of blood and bit of pain, ten thousand pounds. The man asks if there's anything cheaper, the dentist explains that the basic treatment means poor teeth, lots of blood and lots of pain, but it is only forty quid. The man says "fine I'll take that and send the wife in tomorrow" That's fairly mild in comparison to some of his gems.

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                    Lost User
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #12

                    He was just vicous at times, not funny.

                    Visit http://www.readytogiveup.com/[^] and do something special today.

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                    • A AndyKEnZ

                      fat_boy wrote:

                      He wasnt even funny! He was a sad old ignorant fat biggoted sexist racist northern peasant.

                      I say what a bigoted, sexist, weightist, racist, everything-else-ist statement that was; you must be a southern git ;P

                      fat_boy wrote:

                      the Irish guy with a missing finger

                      You've lost all comedy credibility for not remembering the great Dave Allen's name, hah!

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                      Lost User
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #13

                      AndyKEnZ wrote:

                      you must be a southern g

                      In deed I am, although my granparents on one side are from yourkshire.

                      AndyKEnZ wrote:

                      not remembering the great Dave Allen's name

                      I cant remember a lot of the names. There were two guys that rode around on a motorbike and sidecar. There was another guy, who ended up having a breakdown, he was very funny. Spike Milligan, another top guy. There were so many grteats, Bernard Manning? He was nothnig!

                      Truth is the subjection of reality to an individuals perception

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                      • L Lost User

                        AndyKEnZ wrote:

                        you must be a southern g

                        In deed I am, although my granparents on one side are from yourkshire.

                        AndyKEnZ wrote:

                        not remembering the great Dave Allen's name

                        I cant remember a lot of the names. There were two guys that rode around on a motorbike and sidecar. There was another guy, who ended up having a breakdown, he was very funny. Spike Milligan, another top guy. There were so many grteats, Bernard Manning? He was nothnig!

                        Truth is the subjection of reality to an individuals perception

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                        R Giskard Reventlov
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #14

                        I think you've missed th epoint. There are many types of entertainer. Some you'lll like, some you won't. Manning was old school variety hall type comic and although it fitted well with the 70's it would be out of place now. Oh, and you're a sour faced, humorless cünt. :laugh:

                        home
                        tastier than delicious

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                        • R R Giskard Reventlov

                          I think you've missed th epoint. There are many types of entertainer. Some you'lll like, some you won't. Manning was old school variety hall type comic and although it fitted well with the 70's it would be out of place now. Oh, and you're a sour faced, humorless cünt. :laugh:

                          home
                          tastier than delicious

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                          Lost User
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #15

                          digital man wrote:

                          variety hall type comic

                          So were many. And many were funny. Just not Manning. He just isnt funny, just an obnoxious biggoted fat racist sexist northern foul-mouthed peasant scumbag.

                          digital man wrote:

                          Oh, and you're a sour faced, humorless cünt.

                          Now Chris Morris, there IS a man to nake anyone laugh. Check out his Shinn Fein piss take on you tube for example! Or any of his other stuff.

                          Truth is the subjection of reality to an individuals perception

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                          • A AndyKEnZ

                            Well Waldheim may have died, but that's surely overshadowed by the sad loss of Bernard Manning. He was a great stand-up comedian from a disappearing age when political correctness hadn't reached the ridiculous levels of today, here's an idea of his sense of humour, there's more on YouTube: A man goes to the dentist and asks what treatments are available. The dentist says there's the top notch treatment, brilliant teeth, no blood and no pain. But it costs forty thousand pounds. The man asks what else is on offer, the dentist says there is the next level down, good teeth, a little bit of blood and bit of pain, ten thousand pounds. The man asks if there's anything cheaper, the dentist explains that the basic treatment means poor teeth, lots of blood and lots of pain, but it is only forty quid. The man says "fine I'll take that and send the wife in tomorrow" That's fairly mild in comparison to some of his gems.

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                            Red Stateler
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #16

                            AndyKEnZ wrote:

                            A man goes to the dentist and asks what treatments are available. The dentist says there's the top notch treatment, brilliant teeth, no blood and no pain. But it costs forty thousand pounds. The man asks what else is on offer, the dentist says there is the next level down, good teeth, a little bit of blood and bit of pain, ten thousand pounds. The man asks if there's anything cheaper, the dentist explains that the basic treatment means poor teeth, lots of blood and lots of pain, but it is only forty quid. The man says "fine I'll take that and send the wife in tomorrow"

                            Where's the punchline?

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                            • R Red Stateler

                              AndyKEnZ wrote:

                              A man goes to the dentist and asks what treatments are available. The dentist says there's the top notch treatment, brilliant teeth, no blood and no pain. But it costs forty thousand pounds. The man asks what else is on offer, the dentist says there is the next level down, good teeth, a little bit of blood and bit of pain, ten thousand pounds. The man asks if there's anything cheaper, the dentist explains that the basic treatment means poor teeth, lots of blood and lots of pain, but it is only forty quid. The man says "fine I'll take that and send the wife in tomorrow"

                              Where's the punchline?

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                              Brady Kelly
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #17

                              In the bitches jaw if she complains about going to the dentist.

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                              • R Red Stateler

                                AndyKEnZ wrote:

                                A man goes to the dentist and asks what treatments are available. The dentist says there's the top notch treatment, brilliant teeth, no blood and no pain. But it costs forty thousand pounds. The man asks what else is on offer, the dentist says there is the next level down, good teeth, a little bit of blood and bit of pain, ten thousand pounds. The man asks if there's anything cheaper, the dentist explains that the basic treatment means poor teeth, lots of blood and lots of pain, but it is only forty quid. The man says "fine I'll take that and send the wife in tomorrow"

                                Where's the punchline?

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                                A Offline
                                AndyKEnZ
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #18

                                Red Stateler wrote:

                                Where's the punchline?

                                Somewhere in the Atlantic :-D

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