Bernard Manning - RIP
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Well Waldheim may have died, but that's surely overshadowed by the sad loss of Bernard Manning. He was a great stand-up comedian from a disappearing age when political correctness hadn't reached the ridiculous levels of today, here's an idea of his sense of humour, there's more on YouTube: A man goes to the dentist and asks what treatments are available. The dentist says there's the top notch treatment, brilliant teeth, no blood and no pain. But it costs forty thousand pounds. The man asks what else is on offer, the dentist says there is the next level down, good teeth, a little bit of blood and bit of pain, ten thousand pounds. The man asks if there's anything cheaper, the dentist explains that the basic treatment means poor teeth, lots of blood and lots of pain, but it is only forty quid. The man says "fine I'll take that and send the wife in tomorrow" That's fairly mild in comparison to some of his gems.
Sometimes he would call out 'Keep your friends white!' as he left the stage. Oh yes, my sides are splitting.
Kicking squealing Gucci little piggy.
The Rob Blog -
He was of a genre that worked in the context of the period. It is unfair to judge him against the backdrop of today's pc driven world where humor is seen as a weapon with which to offend rather than amuse. Okay, he was a fat twat but he was an equal opportunity bigot: he took the piss out of everyone.
Like the couple who won a million on the lottery, she said what shall we do with it? we'll put it in the bank and every twelve months we'll buy something with the interest said her husband. So after twelve months she says what shall we do with the interest? We'll have an inside toilet fitted he said, and so they did. Another twelve month passed and she asked again, we'll have a barbecue for all the neighbours he said, so they did and they're all standing around scoffing and he's approached by a neighbour "aye you've done well since winning that million, before you used to sh&& in the garden and eat indoors."
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He was of a genre that worked in the context of the period. It is unfair to judge him against the backdrop of today's pc driven world where humor is seen as a weapon with which to offend rather than amuse. Okay, he was a fat twat but he was an equal opportunity bigot: he took the piss out of everyone.
He wasnt even funny! He was a sad old ignorant fat biggoted sexist racist northern peasant. Really, he was crap. I am old enough to have seen him on TV in the 70s, he was absoloute crap. Hell, Mike Yarwood, the two Ronnies, the Irish guy with a missing finger, Morcombe and Wise were all streets ahead. Heck, everyone weas streets ahead of that cunt.
Truth is the subjection of reality to an individuals perception
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Like the couple who won a million on the lottery, she said what shall we do with it? we'll put it in the bank and every twelve months we'll buy something with the interest said her husband. So after twelve months she says what shall we do with the interest? We'll have an inside toilet fitted he said, and so they did. Another twelve month passed and she asked again, we'll have a barbecue for all the neighbours he said, so they did and they're all standing around scoffing and he's approached by a neighbour "aye you've done well since winning that million, before you used to sh&& in the garden and eat indoors."
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He wasnt even funny! He was a sad old ignorant fat biggoted sexist racist northern peasant. Really, he was crap. I am old enough to have seen him on TV in the 70s, he was absoloute crap. Hell, Mike Yarwood, the two Ronnies, the Irish guy with a missing finger, Morcombe and Wise were all streets ahead. Heck, everyone weas streets ahead of that cunt.
Truth is the subjection of reality to an individuals perception
fat_boy wrote:
He wasnt even funny! He was a sad old ignorant fat biggoted sexist racist northern peasant.
I say what a bigoted, sexist, weightist, racist, everything-else-ist statement that was; you must be a southern git ;P
fat_boy wrote:
the Irish guy with a missing finger
You've lost all comedy credibility for not remembering the great Dave Allen's name, hah!
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Well Waldheim may have died, but that's surely overshadowed by the sad loss of Bernard Manning. He was a great stand-up comedian from a disappearing age when political correctness hadn't reached the ridiculous levels of today, here's an idea of his sense of humour, there's more on YouTube: A man goes to the dentist and asks what treatments are available. The dentist says there's the top notch treatment, brilliant teeth, no blood and no pain. But it costs forty thousand pounds. The man asks what else is on offer, the dentist says there is the next level down, good teeth, a little bit of blood and bit of pain, ten thousand pounds. The man asks if there's anything cheaper, the dentist explains that the basic treatment means poor teeth, lots of blood and lots of pain, but it is only forty quid. The man says "fine I'll take that and send the wife in tomorrow" That's fairly mild in comparison to some of his gems.
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fat_boy wrote:
He wasnt even funny! He was a sad old ignorant fat biggoted sexist racist northern peasant.
I say what a bigoted, sexist, weightist, racist, everything-else-ist statement that was; you must be a southern git ;P
fat_boy wrote:
the Irish guy with a missing finger
You've lost all comedy credibility for not remembering the great Dave Allen's name, hah!
AndyKEnZ wrote:
you must be a southern g
In deed I am, although my granparents on one side are from yourkshire.
AndyKEnZ wrote:
not remembering the great Dave Allen's name
I cant remember a lot of the names. There were two guys that rode around on a motorbike and sidecar. There was another guy, who ended up having a breakdown, he was very funny. Spike Milligan, another top guy. There were so many grteats, Bernard Manning? He was nothnig!
Truth is the subjection of reality to an individuals perception
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AndyKEnZ wrote:
you must be a southern g
In deed I am, although my granparents on one side are from yourkshire.
AndyKEnZ wrote:
not remembering the great Dave Allen's name
I cant remember a lot of the names. There were two guys that rode around on a motorbike and sidecar. There was another guy, who ended up having a breakdown, he was very funny. Spike Milligan, another top guy. There were so many grteats, Bernard Manning? He was nothnig!
Truth is the subjection of reality to an individuals perception
I think you've missed th epoint. There are many types of entertainer. Some you'lll like, some you won't. Manning was old school variety hall type comic and although it fitted well with the 70's it would be out of place now. Oh, and you're a sour faced, humorless cünt. :laugh:
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I think you've missed th epoint. There are many types of entertainer. Some you'lll like, some you won't. Manning was old school variety hall type comic and although it fitted well with the 70's it would be out of place now. Oh, and you're a sour faced, humorless cünt. :laugh:
digital man wrote:
variety hall type comic
So were many. And many were funny. Just not Manning. He just isnt funny, just an obnoxious biggoted fat racist sexist northern foul-mouthed peasant scumbag.
digital man wrote:
Oh, and you're a sour faced, humorless cünt.
Now Chris Morris, there IS a man to nake anyone laugh. Check out his Shinn Fein piss take on you tube for example! Or any of his other stuff.
Truth is the subjection of reality to an individuals perception
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Well Waldheim may have died, but that's surely overshadowed by the sad loss of Bernard Manning. He was a great stand-up comedian from a disappearing age when political correctness hadn't reached the ridiculous levels of today, here's an idea of his sense of humour, there's more on YouTube: A man goes to the dentist and asks what treatments are available. The dentist says there's the top notch treatment, brilliant teeth, no blood and no pain. But it costs forty thousand pounds. The man asks what else is on offer, the dentist says there is the next level down, good teeth, a little bit of blood and bit of pain, ten thousand pounds. The man asks if there's anything cheaper, the dentist explains that the basic treatment means poor teeth, lots of blood and lots of pain, but it is only forty quid. The man says "fine I'll take that and send the wife in tomorrow" That's fairly mild in comparison to some of his gems.
AndyKEnZ wrote:
A man goes to the dentist and asks what treatments are available. The dentist says there's the top notch treatment, brilliant teeth, no blood and no pain. But it costs forty thousand pounds. The man asks what else is on offer, the dentist says there is the next level down, good teeth, a little bit of blood and bit of pain, ten thousand pounds. The man asks if there's anything cheaper, the dentist explains that the basic treatment means poor teeth, lots of blood and lots of pain, but it is only forty quid. The man says "fine I'll take that and send the wife in tomorrow"
Where's the punchline?
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AndyKEnZ wrote:
A man goes to the dentist and asks what treatments are available. The dentist says there's the top notch treatment, brilliant teeth, no blood and no pain. But it costs forty thousand pounds. The man asks what else is on offer, the dentist says there is the next level down, good teeth, a little bit of blood and bit of pain, ten thousand pounds. The man asks if there's anything cheaper, the dentist explains that the basic treatment means poor teeth, lots of blood and lots of pain, but it is only forty quid. The man says "fine I'll take that and send the wife in tomorrow"
Where's the punchline?
In the bitches jaw if she complains about going to the dentist.
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AndyKEnZ wrote:
A man goes to the dentist and asks what treatments are available. The dentist says there's the top notch treatment, brilliant teeth, no blood and no pain. But it costs forty thousand pounds. The man asks what else is on offer, the dentist says there is the next level down, good teeth, a little bit of blood and bit of pain, ten thousand pounds. The man asks if there's anything cheaper, the dentist explains that the basic treatment means poor teeth, lots of blood and lots of pain, but it is only forty quid. The man says "fine I'll take that and send the wife in tomorrow"
Where's the punchline?