The Rules of Marriage
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I felt bad about Sebastian's gf breaking up with him for what seems to be no reason. My husband posts regularly on another board and they got into a discussion about love and marriage. He posted his 'rules' which I thought were really sweet and wanted to share. (yeah, every once in a while I can be sentimental...) Here are a few key rules about long-term relationships: 1. You find someone who, after figuring out all your imperfections, will tolerate you. 2. You find someone who you, after you figure out all their imperfections, decide you will tolerate. 3. As time progresses, you figure out that the imperfections are actually reasons you love them. 4. Patience. Lots of it. Even to the point of being beyond frustrated. If you don't have patience to give, you're dead in the water. 5. "Love at first sight" fades while genuine attraction grows over time if you've found an equal who you can respect. 6. People do dumb things from time to time. Your partner is no different. Deal with it. 7. If you don't genuinely feel the need to say "I love you" at least three times a day after being married for five years, that's a problem. 8. If you complain about your significant other more than you brag them up to your co-workers, you might want to re-think either your relationship or your own behavior. 9. If every bad thing is your partner's fault, then I'd suggest that you're part of the problem. 10. Each party in a relationship is going to be selfish from time to time. How the other party deals with that will determine the course of the relationship. Marriage is a constant state of tolerance. Folks who get married for the wrong reasons are never quite able to tolerate the imperfections of their partner. Now, there are some imperfections that end up being deal-breakers but the small stuff isn't worth sweating. Sometimes even the larger stuff isn't worth sweating if it's not a deal-breaker. Unfortunately, most folks have an overly-romantic idea of the "perfect" relationship and that's the concept they have in-brain when they decide to take their vows. IMHO, the key is to understand that once you've made that commitment, your partner is a blood relative. You can't jettison a blood relative any more than you could casually cut off your arm. Are there severe situations in which such an amputation would be necessary? Sure. But I'd suggest those are a much lower percentage than the current divorce rate. I'd suggest that great long-term relationships and great marriages actually do exist (I'm
leckey wrote:
IMHO, the key is to understand that once you've made that commitment, your partner is a blood relative. You can't jettison a blood relative any more than you could casually cut off your arm. Are there severe situations in which such an amputation would be necessary? Sure. But I'd suggest those are a much lower percentage than the current divorce rate.
Probably much lower, but probably also very significant. Abuse rates are climing at extra-ordinary rates, for both male and female. I would say I tried to keep the arm, it got infected and I still didn't cut it off. I got blood-poisoning, and I still tried to fix things rather than cut it off. It got Gangrene and I still faught the innevetable and waited until it threatened to kill me, even waited until it almost did. Divorce from a hospital bed is not recommended, I probably should have cut-n-run at the blood-poisoning level. Denial that the problem is as bad as it is can also cause severe problems. All in all, I love the list, and agree with it completely.
_________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)
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Awww...group hug?;)
_____________________________________________ Flea Market! It's just like...it's just like...A MINI-MALL!
No group hugs - I only love you.
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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"...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001 -
Awww...group hug?;)
_____________________________________________ Flea Market! It's just like...it's just like...A MINI-MALL!
What is it with chicks and hugs? Why is it always a group *hug*? Why not a group kiss, or a group fondle, or even better, group sex? A hug is just so blase these days:) C'mon- think outside the box! :)
¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! Real Mentats use only 100% pure, unfooled around with Sapho Juice(tm)! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog
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What is it with chicks and hugs? Why is it always a group *hug*? Why not a group kiss, or a group fondle, or even better, group sex? A hug is just so blase these days:) C'mon- think outside the box! :)
¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! Real Mentats use only 100% pure, unfooled around with Sapho Juice(tm)! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog
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What is it with chicks and hugs? Why is it always a group *hug*? Why not a group kiss, or a group fondle, or even better, group sex? A hug is just so blase these days:) C'mon- think outside the box! :)
¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! Real Mentats use only 100% pure, unfooled around with Sapho Juice(tm)! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog
Jim Crafton wrote:
think outside the box!
She is. :) Hugs generally don't occur in the box.
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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"...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001 -
Frank, I hate to be the guy to tell you this ... but ... you're wife is buying you beer and trying to get you on a motorbike ... She's trying to kill you, Frank. ;P Just kidding, she really wants all new kitchen appliances
:..::. Douglas H. Troy ::..
Bad Astronomy |VCF|wxWidgets|WTLNot at the same time.:-D
Grady Booch: I told Google to their face...what you need is some serious adult supervision. (2007 Turing lecture) http://www.frankkerrigan.com/[^]
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Men! ;P
Visit http://www.readytogiveup.com/[^] and do something special today.
Trollslayer wrote:
Men! ;P
Is that the "licking-your-lips-in-anticipation" smilie?
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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"...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001 -
I felt bad about Sebastian's gf breaking up with him for what seems to be no reason. My husband posts regularly on another board and they got into a discussion about love and marriage. He posted his 'rules' which I thought were really sweet and wanted to share. (yeah, every once in a while I can be sentimental...) Here are a few key rules about long-term relationships: 1. You find someone who, after figuring out all your imperfections, will tolerate you. 2. You find someone who you, after you figure out all their imperfections, decide you will tolerate. 3. As time progresses, you figure out that the imperfections are actually reasons you love them. 4. Patience. Lots of it. Even to the point of being beyond frustrated. If you don't have patience to give, you're dead in the water. 5. "Love at first sight" fades while genuine attraction grows over time if you've found an equal who you can respect. 6. People do dumb things from time to time. Your partner is no different. Deal with it. 7. If you don't genuinely feel the need to say "I love you" at least three times a day after being married for five years, that's a problem. 8. If you complain about your significant other more than you brag them up to your co-workers, you might want to re-think either your relationship or your own behavior. 9. If every bad thing is your partner's fault, then I'd suggest that you're part of the problem. 10. Each party in a relationship is going to be selfish from time to time. How the other party deals with that will determine the course of the relationship. Marriage is a constant state of tolerance. Folks who get married for the wrong reasons are never quite able to tolerate the imperfections of their partner. Now, there are some imperfections that end up being deal-breakers but the small stuff isn't worth sweating. Sometimes even the larger stuff isn't worth sweating if it's not a deal-breaker. Unfortunately, most folks have an overly-romantic idea of the "perfect" relationship and that's the concept they have in-brain when they decide to take their vows. IMHO, the key is to understand that once you've made that commitment, your partner is a blood relative. You can't jettison a blood relative any more than you could casually cut off your arm. Are there severe situations in which such an amputation would be necessary? Sure. But I'd suggest those are a much lower percentage than the current divorce rate. I'd suggest that great long-term relationships and great marriages actually do exist (I'm
These are the rules for girly-men (as Arnold Schwartzenegger would put it) and for metrosexuals.;P
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Not at the same time.:-D
Grady Booch: I told Google to their face...what you need is some serious adult supervision. (2007 Turing lecture) http://www.frankkerrigan.com/[^]
Frank Kerrigan wrote:
Not at the same time.
you're safe for now.... :-D
_________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)
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I felt bad about Sebastian's gf breaking up with him for what seems to be no reason. My husband posts regularly on another board and they got into a discussion about love and marriage. He posted his 'rules' which I thought were really sweet and wanted to share. (yeah, every once in a while I can be sentimental...) Here are a few key rules about long-term relationships: 1. You find someone who, after figuring out all your imperfections, will tolerate you. 2. You find someone who you, after you figure out all their imperfections, decide you will tolerate. 3. As time progresses, you figure out that the imperfections are actually reasons you love them. 4. Patience. Lots of it. Even to the point of being beyond frustrated. If you don't have patience to give, you're dead in the water. 5. "Love at first sight" fades while genuine attraction grows over time if you've found an equal who you can respect. 6. People do dumb things from time to time. Your partner is no different. Deal with it. 7. If you don't genuinely feel the need to say "I love you" at least three times a day after being married for five years, that's a problem. 8. If you complain about your significant other more than you brag them up to your co-workers, you might want to re-think either your relationship or your own behavior. 9. If every bad thing is your partner's fault, then I'd suggest that you're part of the problem. 10. Each party in a relationship is going to be selfish from time to time. How the other party deals with that will determine the course of the relationship. Marriage is a constant state of tolerance. Folks who get married for the wrong reasons are never quite able to tolerate the imperfections of their partner. Now, there are some imperfections that end up being deal-breakers but the small stuff isn't worth sweating. Sometimes even the larger stuff isn't worth sweating if it's not a deal-breaker. Unfortunately, most folks have an overly-romantic idea of the "perfect" relationship and that's the concept they have in-brain when they decide to take their vows. IMHO, the key is to understand that once you've made that commitment, your partner is a blood relative. You can't jettison a blood relative any more than you could casually cut off your arm. Are there severe situations in which such an amputation would be necessary? Sure. But I'd suggest those are a much lower percentage than the current divorce rate. I'd suggest that great long-term relationships and great marriages actually do exist (I'm
This picture could have a chance to become the photo of the day: http://www.flickr.com/photos/binarycoco/553892764/^ My canary birds are a great long term couple. A few weeks ago they didn't notice that I was behind them with a camera. It is one of my best snapshots ever and I think it fits into this thread. ;) ;)
____________________________________ There is no proof for this sentence.
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Interesting post:) I hope that my marriage that starts 1september will be also good.:-O
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Pawel Gielmuda wrote:
I hope that my marriage that starts 1september will be also good.
What a coincidence, Pawel... I'm also getting married 1st September. ;) Congratulations, and the best for you. Great words of wisdom we see in this post! :-D
Congrats :) And thanks:)
