Mens rules
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This may well be a repost, but it made me laugh. The Man Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally , the guys' side of the story. We always hear " the rules " from the female side now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports : It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really . 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball , or Football, or golf, or Sex . 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you k
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This may well be a repost, but it made me laugh. The Man Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally , the guys' side of the story. We always hear " the rules " from the female side now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports : It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really . 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball , or Football, or golf, or Sex . 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you k
Repost, but amusing enough to warrant it :)
"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning." - Rick Cook "There is no wealth like knowledge, no poverty like ignorance." Ali ibn Abi Talib "Animadvertistine, ubicumque stes, fumum recta in faciem ferri?"
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This may well be a repost, but it made me laugh. The Man Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally , the guys' side of the story. We always hear " the rules " from the female side now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports : It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really . 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball , or Football, or golf, or Sex . 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you k
This has just been sent to my wife! Thanks, we need this, it should be posted on the inside door of every Ladies Room in the World!:)
------------------------------------ Happy Primes Lead to Happy Memories. Don't Google FGI
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Repost, but amusing enough to warrant it :)
"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning." - Rick Cook "There is no wealth like knowledge, no poverty like ignorance." Ali ibn Abi Talib "Animadvertistine, ubicumque stes, fumum recta in faciem ferri?"
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This has just been sent to my wife! Thanks, we need this, it should be posted on the inside door of every Ladies Room in the World!:)
------------------------------------ Happy Primes Lead to Happy Memories. Don't Google FGI
Dalek Dave wrote:
Thanks, we need this, it should be posted on the inside door of every Ladies Room in the World!
That works for guys to read, rarely for the women from what I hear. You need to get it delivered to a large enough population of women that it gets discussed between them. Once you reach the saturation point, it spreads outward. Unfortunately reaching that saturation point to be discussed is difficult. Most will give half a smile, roll their eyes and discard the information. Rolling eyes does to incoming information the same thing that ducks feathers do to water, it just rolls off and stays nowhere. ;P
_________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)
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Dalek Dave wrote:
Thanks, we need this, it should be posted on the inside door of every Ladies Room in the World!
That works for guys to read, rarely for the women from what I hear. You need to get it delivered to a large enough population of women that it gets discussed between them. Once you reach the saturation point, it spreads outward. Unfortunately reaching that saturation point to be discussed is difficult. Most will give half a smile, roll their eyes and discard the information. Rolling eyes does to incoming information the same thing that ducks feathers do to water, it just rolls off and stays nowhere. ;P
_________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)
Agree!!! Solution: Each time you find yourself is a situation described in the rule, just give them a printed version you have stashed all around your place with the rule corresponding to your situation high lighted. But unfortunately, you will still have to argue and discuss about "the rule" and the list because they will need explanation :( as they had already forgot about it. So be prepare to repeat yourself and perhaps after a while (10/15 years) they will get it. Not because you had explained it for that long, it will be because they got a bit more patient about who/what you are... Conclusion: We are doomed to argue :)
"Nothing is lost, Nothing is created, Everything is transformed" Lavoisier
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This has just been sent to my wife! Thanks, we need this, it should be posted on the inside door of every Ladies Room in the World!:)
------------------------------------ Happy Primes Lead to Happy Memories. Don't Google FGI
Dalek Dave wrote:
This has just been sent to my wife!
Well, enjoy your camping tonight then... My grandpa told me a short line to use in most all of those situations listed in the rules. "I'm not going to argue with you." It works ok. It's not perfect, but it's the best weapon I've come across so far.