Life is like a box of chocolates
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I think sexual fulfillment is the consequence of a happy relationship, not the cause of it. Defining 'sexual fulfillment' as some kind of essential goal in life is kind of like defining a good bowell movement in the same way. It isn't something you actually can fulfill except in the most temporary of ways.
Please excuse my refusal to participate in the suicide of western civilization
Stan Shannon wrote:
I think sexual fulfillment is the consequence of a happy relationship, not the cause of it
Being that old and that naive... ;-P IMO of there's no sexual fulfillment, then there's no happy relationship, just some happy 'let live our problems together - I fit yours as you fit mine'. It's not happiness to me.
Stan Shannon wrote:
Defining 'sexual fulfillment' as some kind of essential goal
Not a goal, but a condition. And don't forget the 'shared'. Both should enjoy their sexual life, it's a condition sine qua none for a happy couple. A couple claiming being happy without sex is IMO neurotic.
The most wasted of all days is that on which one has not laughed Fold with us! ¤ flickr
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Stan Shannon wrote:
Defining 'sexual fulfillment' as some kind of essential goal in life is kind of like defining a good bowell movement in the same way
Well, he is French. They are kind of obsessed with sex, relationships, infidelity and so on.
Morality is indistinguishable from social proscription
fat_boy wrote:
They are kind of obsessed with sex, relationships, infidelity and so on
And proud of it :-D I think the term 'Latin' would fit better than 'French'. IMO we share these characteristics with our southern neighbors.
The most wasted of all days is that on which one has not laughed Fold with us! ¤ flickr
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I think sexual fulfillment is the consequence of a happy relationship, not the cause of it. Defining 'sexual fulfillment' as some kind of essential goal in life is kind of like defining a good bowell movement in the same way. It isn't something you actually can fulfill except in the most temporary of ways.
Please excuse my refusal to participate in the suicide of western civilization
Stan Shannon wrote:
the consequence of a happy relationship, not the cause of it
5 (I think there are a few exceptions to that rule, but still)
We are a big screwed up dysfunctional psychotic happy family - some more screwed up, others more happy, but everybody's psychotic joint venture definition of CP
My first real C# project | Linkify!| FoldWithUs! | sighist -
Bicycle? Nah, bicycle is for Netherlanders - IMO a two-wheeled vehicle without an engine is a heresy :)
When they kick at your front door How you gonna come? With your hands on your head Or on the trigger of your gun?
K(arl) wrote:
bicycle is for Netherlanders
Just don't talk to them about it. They won't stop complaining that the Germans stole their bicycles in 1945. Sheesh!
Upcoming FREE developer events: * Developer Day Scotland Recent blog posts: * Follow up on hiring a software developer * The Value of Smaller Methods My website | blog
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I think sexual fulfillment is the consequence of a happy relationship, not the cause of it. Defining 'sexual fulfillment' as some kind of essential goal in life is kind of like defining a good bowell movement in the same way. It isn't something you actually can fulfill except in the most temporary of ways.
Please excuse my refusal to participate in the suicide of western civilization
I see obstacles on the horizon for a happy relationship, if the thought of having sex makes you want wash the dishes instead. If it's right, it's right. If it isn't, the relationship is bound to fade away rather quickly.
-- Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
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Maybe the problem was culinary - once he reflected upon what he'd been eating for the last dozen years. . . .
Jon Information doesn't want to be free. It wants to be sixty-nine cents @ pound.
Eww...
-- Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
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fat_boy wrote:
They are kind of obsessed with sex, relationships, infidelity and so on
And proud of it :-D I think the term 'Latin' would fit better than 'French'. IMO we share these characteristics with our southern neighbors.
The most wasted of all days is that on which one has not laughed Fold with us! ¤ flickr
K(arl) wrote:
And proud of it
You get less ass than Tim Craig.
Word, write letters and sh*t yo. It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird. Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
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I cannot understand how people can get married without both enjoying their sexual life - and if possible together. Am I the only one to find obvious that sexual fulfillment is a key condition for a couple to last?
Patriotism is when love of your own people comes first; nationalism, when hate for people other than your own comes first Fold with us! ¤ flickr
There plenty of couples who are hot in the bedroom and hate each other in every other room. It's really communication--you have to talk about what is bothering you, communicate what you like and admire in the othe person, and yes, communicate wants in the bedroom. If you can talk to each other like adults and not be a 'have to be right all the time' person then I think that is the key.
New Poll! Current Rant: "Something about a caucus." http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]
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There plenty of couples who are hot in the bedroom and hate each other in every other room. It's really communication--you have to talk about what is bothering you, communicate what you like and admire in the othe person, and yes, communicate wants in the bedroom. If you can talk to each other like adults and not be a 'have to be right all the time' person then I think that is the key.
New Poll! Current Rant: "Something about a caucus." http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]
leckey wrote:
If you can talk to each other like adults and not be a 'have to be right all the time' person then I think that is the key.
In my experience (which, admittedly, is not as long as others here) this is THE key. There's the idea that the most stable relationships are defined by how the partners argue, since disagreement and arguments are inevitable, you HAVE to be able to get through them without coming out bigger enemies on the other side. Pretty much the only way to do that is to put your ego aside and realize you don't have to be right, that the relationship is more valuable than winning some stupid argument over who said what or who put what in the kitchen sink. It's a very natural tendency, the need to be right. We all suffer from it. I think the strongest and wisest individuals are the ones who can put that aside and see past it.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity. - Albert Einstein
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K(arl) wrote:
And proud of it
You get less ass than Tim Craig.
Word, write letters and sh*t yo. It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird. Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
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I suspect that the only ass you've ever gotten had 4 legs, long ears and a tail. And she kept braying, "Too small!"
Jon Information doesn't want to be free. It wants to be sixty-nine cents @ pound.
You get no ass.
Word, write letters and sh*t yo. It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird. Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
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leckey wrote:
If you can talk to each other like adults and not be a 'have to be right all the time' person then I think that is the key.
In my experience (which, admittedly, is not as long as others here) this is THE key. There's the idea that the most stable relationships are defined by how the partners argue, since disagreement and arguments are inevitable, you HAVE to be able to get through them without coming out bigger enemies on the other side. Pretty much the only way to do that is to put your ego aside and realize you don't have to be right, that the relationship is more valuable than winning some stupid argument over who said what or who put what in the kitchen sink. It's a very natural tendency, the need to be right. We all suffer from it. I think the strongest and wisest individuals are the ones who can put that aside and see past it.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity. - Albert Einstein
Patrick Sears wrote:
It's a very natural tendency, the need to be right. We all suffer from it. I think the strongest and wisest individuals are the ones who can put that aside and see past it.
Looking at it from the other side(divorced thrice) I'd suggest that the problem my relationships encountered was that as we really got to know each other over the years, we learned what the other person held most dear, believed in wholeheartedly, or hated absolutely, i.e. had to be right about, and then used that knowledge to push each other's buttons. There's always something that when thrown in your face, you cannot ignore in an attempt to keep the relationship unsullied. When I think of all my friends and acquaintances who have been married for a long time, I can name only two couples who are still happily in love. And with the exception of those two, the dozen or so people I know well enough to call really happy are all single and planning on staying that way. Of course, your mileage may vary.
Jon Information doesn't want to be free. It wants to be sixty-nine cents @ pound.
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Patrick Sears wrote:
It's a very natural tendency, the need to be right. We all suffer from it. I think the strongest and wisest individuals are the ones who can put that aside and see past it.
Looking at it from the other side(divorced thrice) I'd suggest that the problem my relationships encountered was that as we really got to know each other over the years, we learned what the other person held most dear, believed in wholeheartedly, or hated absolutely, i.e. had to be right about, and then used that knowledge to push each other's buttons. There's always something that when thrown in your face, you cannot ignore in an attempt to keep the relationship unsullied. When I think of all my friends and acquaintances who have been married for a long time, I can name only two couples who are still happily in love. And with the exception of those two, the dozen or so people I know well enough to call really happy are all single and planning on staying that way. Of course, your mileage may vary.
Jon Information doesn't want to be free. It wants to be sixty-nine cents @ pound.
Oakman wrote:
When I think of all my friends and acquaintances who have been married for a long time, I can name only two couples who are still happily in love. And with the exception of those two, the dozen or so people I know well enough to call really happy are all single and planning on staying that way.
Personally I think permanent monogamy is a bit unnatural, considering our evolutionary pressures. True, we build societies to attempt to overcome those pressures (and have been for 10's of thousands of years, this isn't a recent thing) but it's always going to be there. It's why infidelity is so common. I too know a couple of guys who are well past the point you'd expect them to marry, are single, and happy to be so. They don't seem to genuinely feel like they're missing anything. I even know a couple of women who are the same way, well into their 40's.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity. - Albert Einstein
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You get no ass.
Word, write letters and sh*t yo. It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird. Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
Good comeback. :doh: Bad comeback.
"There's not a man in America who at one time or another hasn't had a secret desire to boot a child in the ass." - W. C. Fields
modified on Thursday, January 10, 2008 10:59:53 PM
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I suspect that the only ass you've ever gotten had 4 legs, long ears and a tail. And she kept braying, "Too small!"
Jon Information doesn't want to be free. It wants to be sixty-nine cents @ pound.
Oakman wrote:
I suspect that the only ass you've ever gotten had 4 legs, long ears and a tail. And she kept braying, "Too small!"
That is bad :laugh::laugh::laugh:
"Find it your bloody self - immediately!" - Dave Kreskowiak
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Good comeback. :doh: Bad comeback.
"There's not a man in America who at one time or another hasn't had a secret desire to boot a child in the ass." - W. C. Fields
modified on Thursday, January 10, 2008 10:59:53 PM
Ravel H. Joyce wrote:
Good comeback.
He will probably think you are being serious.
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Oakman wrote:
I suspect that the only ass you've ever gotten had 4 legs, long ears and a tail. And she kept braying, "Too small!"
That is bad :laugh::laugh::laugh:
"Find it your bloody self - immediately!" - Dave Kreskowiak
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You get no ass.
Word, write letters and sh*t yo. It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird. Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
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Paul Conrad wrote:
That is bad
That's what the poor female donkey was thinking, too.
Jon Information doesn't want to be free. It wants to be sixty-nine cents @ pound.
Oakman wrote:
That's what the poor female donkey was thinking, too.
You sure it was a female? :laugh:
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Oakman wrote:
When I think of all my friends and acquaintances who have been married for a long time, I can name only two couples who are still happily in love. And with the exception of those two, the dozen or so people I know well enough to call really happy are all single and planning on staying that way.
Personally I think permanent monogamy is a bit unnatural, considering our evolutionary pressures. True, we build societies to attempt to overcome those pressures (and have been for 10's of thousands of years, this isn't a recent thing) but it's always going to be there. It's why infidelity is so common. I too know a couple of guys who are well past the point you'd expect them to marry, are single, and happy to be so. They don't seem to genuinely feel like they're missing anything. I even know a couple of women who are the same way, well into their 40's.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity. - Albert Einstein
I can understand the question of monagamy. I used to joke that it's still Corn Flakes everyday. You can add sugar, strawberries...but it's still Corn Flakes. If you both decide as a couple to maybe try, say, Fruit Loops, then try it together. But don't be sneaking Cookie Crunch behind your spouse's back. I think the infidelity comes from not communicating what you need from the other. Many women feel they are not appreciated, so maybe they stray to someone who showers them with extra attention and makes them feel important. Maybe a guy isn't communicating his feelings and it just looks like sex to the woman. he might stray to someone who makes him feel like the hero. Kori and I argue but there are a couple of things I have found that are the foundation to our 12 years. 1. Learn to admit fault. Hard to do, but sometimes saying, "Yeah, that was wrong of me" goes a long way. Your partner will respect you for it because he/she knows how hard it is. 2. Learn to laugh at yourself. Sometimes you can end the tension by just cracking a joke at your own expense. 3. Discuss the behavior, not the person. Say, "It bothers me when you do this ___." Attacking the person is wrong and gets you nowhere. Your spouse may show idiotic behavior, but you would not be together if they were really an idiot. 4. Don't hide what is bothering you--don't let it stew. I know this is a problem for lots of women. 5. At the end of the day, meet in the middle. If it were up to my husband we'd have sex 5 times a week but I'm not a 19 year old college student anymore. He's learned that I'm more like a sine wave rather than a linear straight line. He's learned to wait a couple days for my wave to go up and the sex is way better. Sorry if that is too graphic but I think that's a problem between men and women.
New Poll! Current Rant: "Something about a caucus." http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]