Is it rude to...
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get up from a group of people who are speaking a language you don't understand? Here is my situation: I am living with the in-laws to save up some money to buy a house. My wife is Indian and I am not. My wife speaks hindi and english whereas I speak only english, and of course the rest of her family speaks hindi including my wife's 13 year old brother who grew up here in the states. In the beginning when my wife and I first started seeing each other the in-laws would make an effort to speak english, now they don't bother and I have to keep asking what did your father say, etc. Sometimes I feel bad getting up and leaving the room but most times I don't. So do you think it rude to leave the room? What would you do? WWJD? Thanks "We tend to refer to our most barbaric and crapulous behavior as 'inhuman,' whereas, in point of fact, it is exactly human, definitively and quintessentially human, since no other creature habitually indulges in comparable atrocities." ~Tom Robbins
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Michael P Butler wrote: I'd excuse myself in a polite manner Sorry, that does not compute for the Michael P Butler universe. Please try again. ;P regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass Cape Town, South Africa The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and to be loved in return - Moulin Rouge Brian Delahunty wrote: one of my boys on the inside instead of the outside benjymous wrote: All the male CP inhabitants cross their legs in unison
Paul Watson wrote: Sorry, that does not compute for the Michael P Butler universe. Please try again LOL. If it was family, I'm just impolite to the rest of the world. Michael :-) Logic, my dear Zoe, merely enables one to be wrong with authority. - The Doctor
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get up from a group of people who are speaking a language you don't understand? Here is my situation: I am living with the in-laws to save up some money to buy a house. My wife is Indian and I am not. My wife speaks hindi and english whereas I speak only english, and of course the rest of her family speaks hindi including my wife's 13 year old brother who grew up here in the states. In the beginning when my wife and I first started seeing each other the in-laws would make an effort to speak english, now they don't bother and I have to keep asking what did your father say, etc. Sometimes I feel bad getting up and leaving the room but most times I don't. So do you think it rude to leave the room? What would you do? WWJD? Thanks "We tend to refer to our most barbaric and crapulous behavior as 'inhuman,' whereas, in point of fact, it is exactly human, definitively and quintessentially human, since no other creature habitually indulges in comparable atrocities." ~Tom Robbins
Your family in law is perhaps testing you, or consider the Host has to respect their culture, so their language ? If they don't make any effort, so you have to do some (if you consider it's worth it), as learning their language to be able to communicate. Leaving the room could also be a solution but I'm afraid it would be definitive :) Nothing is more perseverant in her hatred than a mother-in-law :rolleyes: We do not inherit the Earth from our ancestors. We borrow it from our children. Antoine de Saint Exupéry (1900-1944)
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hotlemonade wrote: do you think it rude to leave the room? No I don't think so. They are more rude for speaking in front of you in a language they know you do not understandl. My girlfriend is Afrikaans and my Afrikaans is terrible. She speaks Afrikaans to her dad when I am not part of the conversation, and english when I am. Imagine if Chris always spoke Australian on here? We would all get frustrated and leave after awhile (except for the other Aussies of course.) ;) regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass Cape Town, South Africa The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and to be loved in return - Moulin Rouge Brian Delahunty wrote: one of my boys on the inside instead of the outside benjymous wrote: All the male CP inhabitants cross their legs in unison
Paul Watson wrote: Imagine if Chris always spoke Australian on here? We would all get frustrated and leave after awhile (except for the other Aussies of course.) Here is a tangent --> What if Chris were to speak Aussie here, I think that might be o.k., at least as long as he provides us *Northern Folk* with an Aussie To English translation article, maybe it could be a web service. :) What do you think? Nick Parker
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Daniel Ferguson wrote: It's not that different from English, is it?? Quote from the front page of an Understanding Aussie book: Don't be a galah - this one's a purler. * I was just yanking Aussie chain Daniel. Though they do have many strange words and add vowels on the end of virtually any name. regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass Cape Town, South Africa The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and to be loved in return - Moulin Rouge Brian Delahunty wrote: one of my boys on the inside instead of the outside benjymous wrote: All the male CP inhabitants cross their legs in unison
Paul Watson wrote: I was just yanking Aussie chain Daniel Fair dinkum Wazza - start a blue with us and you'll come a cropper. Now excuse me while I go wrestle a croc. cheers, Chris Maunder
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get up from a group of people who are speaking a language you don't understand? Here is my situation: I am living with the in-laws to save up some money to buy a house. My wife is Indian and I am not. My wife speaks hindi and english whereas I speak only english, and of course the rest of her family speaks hindi including my wife's 13 year old brother who grew up here in the states. In the beginning when my wife and I first started seeing each other the in-laws would make an effort to speak english, now they don't bother and I have to keep asking what did your father say, etc. Sometimes I feel bad getting up and leaving the room but most times I don't. So do you think it rude to leave the room? What would you do? WWJD? Thanks "We tend to refer to our most barbaric and crapulous behavior as 'inhuman,' whereas, in point of fact, it is exactly human, definitively and quintessentially human, since no other creature habitually indulges in comparable atrocities." ~Tom Robbins
Don't get me wrong, I am trying to learn some hindi but all I seem to remember is the bad stuff, thanks to my wife :). I have also made concerted efforts to stay and ride out the conversations but I am afaid my will has some bounds. It just kind of pisses me off that the in-laws have been here for over 20 years and still depend(they call her at least 3 times a day at work) on her to make calls, mail their bills out, and pretty much interpret for them when some visitor comes to the house. Previously we lived in an apartment and her mom would beg my wife to come to the house because someone who did not speak hindi was coming to give a quote for some drywall or something similar, or explain a bill. I like her parents a lot and I don't mind them asking for some explanations on things but everyday come on. Maybe I'm just a little jealous that my wife gives some of her attention to her parents and not all of it to me. "We tend to refer to our most barbaric and crapulous behavior as 'inhuman,' whereas, in point of fact, it is exactly human, definitively and quintessentially human, since no other creature habitually indulges in comparable atrocities." ~Tom Robbins
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get up from a group of people who are speaking a language you don't understand? Here is my situation: I am living with the in-laws to save up some money to buy a house. My wife is Indian and I am not. My wife speaks hindi and english whereas I speak only english, and of course the rest of her family speaks hindi including my wife's 13 year old brother who grew up here in the states. In the beginning when my wife and I first started seeing each other the in-laws would make an effort to speak english, now they don't bother and I have to keep asking what did your father say, etc. Sometimes I feel bad getting up and leaving the room but most times I don't. So do you think it rude to leave the room? What would you do? WWJD? Thanks "We tend to refer to our most barbaric and crapulous behavior as 'inhuman,' whereas, in point of fact, it is exactly human, definitively and quintessentially human, since no other creature habitually indulges in comparable atrocities." ~Tom Robbins
It is definitely rude for them to treat you with so little respect, especially when they are living in an English-speaking country. Politely excusing yourself is quite acceptable. There are three types of people in the world: Those who make things happen; those who watch things happen; those who wonder what happened.
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Don't get me wrong, I am trying to learn some hindi but all I seem to remember is the bad stuff, thanks to my wife :). I have also made concerted efforts to stay and ride out the conversations but I am afaid my will has some bounds. It just kind of pisses me off that the in-laws have been here for over 20 years and still depend(they call her at least 3 times a day at work) on her to make calls, mail their bills out, and pretty much interpret for them when some visitor comes to the house. Previously we lived in an apartment and her mom would beg my wife to come to the house because someone who did not speak hindi was coming to give a quote for some drywall or something similar, or explain a bill. I like her parents a lot and I don't mind them asking for some explanations on things but everyday come on. Maybe I'm just a little jealous that my wife gives some of her attention to her parents and not all of it to me. "We tend to refer to our most barbaric and crapulous behavior as 'inhuman,' whereas, in point of fact, it is exactly human, definitively and quintessentially human, since no other creature habitually indulges in comparable atrocities." ~Tom Robbins
hotlemonade wrote: It just kind of pisses me off that the in-laws have been here for over 20 years They have no d$%^ed business remaining in this country if they've made so little effort to learn the language over 20 years. There are three types of people in the world: Those who make things happen; those who watch things happen; those who wonder what happened.
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hotlemonade wrote: It just kind of pisses me off that the in-laws have been here for over 20 years They have no d$%^ed business remaining in this country if they've made so little effort to learn the language over 20 years. There are three types of people in the world: Those who make things happen; those who watch things happen; those who wonder what happened.
Roger Wright wrote: They have no d$%^ed business remaining in this country if they've made so little effort to learn the language over 20 years. .:eek: That's very unlike of Roger Wright ... But I agree 100%
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get up from a group of people who are speaking a language you don't understand? Here is my situation: I am living with the in-laws to save up some money to buy a house. My wife is Indian and I am not. My wife speaks hindi and english whereas I speak only english, and of course the rest of her family speaks hindi including my wife's 13 year old brother who grew up here in the states. In the beginning when my wife and I first started seeing each other the in-laws would make an effort to speak english, now they don't bother and I have to keep asking what did your father say, etc. Sometimes I feel bad getting up and leaving the room but most times I don't. So do you think it rude to leave the room? What would you do? WWJD? Thanks "We tend to refer to our most barbaric and crapulous behavior as 'inhuman,' whereas, in point of fact, it is exactly human, definitively and quintessentially human, since no other creature habitually indulges in comparable atrocities." ~Tom Robbins
IMO, the situation is more complex than just "rude" or "not rude". I face a different variation of this story when my children's friend visit us. We are Russians but live in Norway, and while my kids speak Norwegian as their native language, my Norwegian is pretty bad. So what should I do when I need to talk to my son when his friend is near? Sometimes I speak bad Norwegian - especiall when it is related to our visitor, but very often I simply keep conversation in Russian. Communication with family members is a very delicate thing. It's not enough just to express the practical meaning of what you're going to say, family members really care about nuances. So if you and your wife's family members are very often together, and if not all of them speak fluent English, I can understand that they can give up and switch to hindi. I think it's OK to do it, the more important is HOW they do it. From time to time they should let you know that they remember you can't follow, but it's not easy for them to keep it in English and they're sorry for it. Just my 2 copecks. Vagif Abilov MCP (Visual C++) Oslo, Norway
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Roger Wright wrote: They have no d$%^ed business remaining in this country if they've made so little effort to learn the language over 20 years. .:eek: That's very unlike of Roger Wright ... But I agree 100%
It is a bit out of character for me, Rama, but it's a pet peeve of mine. Once upon a time, the US was a melting pot of diverse cultures, speaking a common language, sharing a common ideal. I've seen it become a fractured society in the past twenty years, where immigrants (legal and illegal) squat and refuse to become integrated members of our society. Mexicans live here all their lives without learning a word of English, as do various Asian inports, all to the detriment of the country they have chosen to make their home. It as if they move here to escape whatever terrible circumstances they left behind, yet rather than becoming a part of this nation, they choose to perpetuate the customs and behaviors of their homelands, along with the conditions they meant to leave. If I were to emigrate to another country, especially one where the culture is fundamentally different from my own, I would consider it my duty to learn the ways of my new hosts and do all that I can do to contribute to the whole. There are three types of people in the world: Those who make things happen; those who watch things happen; those who wonder what happened.
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get up from a group of people who are speaking a language you don't understand? Here is my situation: I am living with the in-laws to save up some money to buy a house. My wife is Indian and I am not. My wife speaks hindi and english whereas I speak only english, and of course the rest of her family speaks hindi including my wife's 13 year old brother who grew up here in the states. In the beginning when my wife and I first started seeing each other the in-laws would make an effort to speak english, now they don't bother and I have to keep asking what did your father say, etc. Sometimes I feel bad getting up and leaving the room but most times I don't. So do you think it rude to leave the room? What would you do? WWJD? Thanks "We tend to refer to our most barbaric and crapulous behavior as 'inhuman,' whereas, in point of fact, it is exactly human, definitively and quintessentially human, since no other creature habitually indulges in comparable atrocities." ~Tom Robbins
I would ask them politely to teach me to speak Hindi. They would probably bend over backwards helping you and explaining what they were saying. Everyone would win. Richard Monarchies, aristocracies, and religions....there was never a country where the majority of the people were in their secret hearts loyal to any of these institutions. Mark Twain - The Mysterious Stranger
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Paul Watson wrote: Sorry, that does not compute for the Michael P Butler universe. Please try again LOL. If it was family, I'm just impolite to the rest of the world. Michael :-) Logic, my dear Zoe, merely enables one to be wrong with authority. - The Doctor
Michael P Butler wrote: If it was family, I'm just impolite to the rest of the world I didn't think you were American. :laugh: ____________________ David Wulff What's the point in life if you can't point and laugh when someone trips over themselves? "Half the reason people switch away from VB is to find out what actually goes on.. and then like me they find out that they weren't quite as good as they thought - they've been nannied." - Alex on being a programmer. You can contact my solicitors, Lambert & Butler, on +44 0870 742 4471 24 hours (10 till 4 Sunday).