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JOTD

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Back Room
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  • B Brady Kelly

    This jew prays to God that he wins the lottery. Every Sunday Morning he checks the winning numbers in the Sunday Times. Every Sunday he doesn't win. He goes to pray to God and asks him for a reason. The jew says "God, why have you forsaken me? Why don't I win the lottery" God responds "You need to meet me half way... you need to buy a ticket!"

    F Offline
    F Offline
    Fred_Smith
    wrote on last edited by
    #2

    hmm... maybe it's acultural thing... ...talking of which, as a good SouthAfrican, maybe you'll appreciate this one (if you haven't heard it alreday) Jacob Zuma while visiting a Primary School, visits one of the classrooms. The class are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks the new ANC leader if he would to lead the discussion on the word 'Tragedy'. So the leader asks the class for an example of a tragedy. Josiah stands up and offers: "If my friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy". "No "says Zuma, "that would be an 'accident'." Beauty raises her hand: "If a school bus, carrying 50 children, drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy." "I'm afraid not" explains Zuma, "That's what we would call a 'great loss'." The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. Jakob Zuma searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?" Finally at the back of the class Sipho raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says: "If a jet, carrying you, your wife and most of the ANC ministers, is struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy." "Fantastic!" exclaims Zuma, "that's right. Now can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?. "Well" says Sipho, "because it wouldn't be a great loss, and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."

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    • F Fred_Smith

      hmm... maybe it's acultural thing... ...talking of which, as a good SouthAfrican, maybe you'll appreciate this one (if you haven't heard it alreday) Jacob Zuma while visiting a Primary School, visits one of the classrooms. The class are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks the new ANC leader if he would to lead the discussion on the word 'Tragedy'. So the leader asks the class for an example of a tragedy. Josiah stands up and offers: "If my friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy". "No "says Zuma, "that would be an 'accident'." Beauty raises her hand: "If a school bus, carrying 50 children, drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy." "I'm afraid not" explains Zuma, "That's what we would call a 'great loss'." The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. Jakob Zuma searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?" Finally at the back of the class Sipho raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says: "If a jet, carrying you, your wife and most of the ANC ministers, is struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy." "Fantastic!" exclaims Zuma, "that's right. Now can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?. "Well" says Sipho, "because it wouldn't be a great loss, and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."

      B Offline
      B Offline
      Brady Kelly
      wrote on last edited by
      #3

      Heard it, but :laugh: :laugh:

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      • B Brady Kelly

        This jew prays to God that he wins the lottery. Every Sunday Morning he checks the winning numbers in the Sunday Times. Every Sunday he doesn't win. He goes to pray to God and asks him for a reason. The jew says "God, why have you forsaken me? Why don't I win the lottery" God responds "You need to meet me half way... you need to buy a ticket!"

        H Offline
        H Offline
        hairy_hats
        wrote on last edited by
        #4

        Heard it before about a Scotsman...did you know that copper wire was invented by two Scotsmen fighting over a penny?

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        • H hairy_hats

          Heard it before about a Scotsman...did you know that copper wire was invented by two Scotsmen fighting over a penny?

          B Offline
          B Offline
          Brady Kelly
          wrote on last edited by
          #5

          Yes, and the Big Hole of Kimberly[^] was caused by a Jew dropping a penny down a rabbit hole. Oh the irony :wtf: That link came up second on a Google for "Kimberly hole".

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          • B Brady Kelly

            Yes, and the Big Hole of Kimberly[^] was caused by a Jew dropping a penny down a rabbit hole. Oh the irony :wtf: That link came up second on a Google for "Kimberly hole".

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            R Offline
            R Giskard Reventlov
            wrote on last edited by
            #6

            Are you in particulalrly anti-semitic mood today or are you generally just a racist?

            bin the spin home

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            • R R Giskard Reventlov

              Are you in particulalrly anti-semitic mood today or are you generally just a racist?

              bin the spin home

              B Offline
              B Offline
              Brady Kelly
              wrote on last edited by
              #7

              I'm actually never eithe:->r.

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              • R R Giskard Reventlov

                Are you in particulalrly anti-semitic mood today or are you generally just a racist?

                bin the spin home

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                Vikram A Punathambekar
                wrote on last edited by
                #8

                Would your response been the same had they been talking about Muslims?

                Cheers, Vikram.


                "I will put my new found knolage to good use" - Captain See Sharp. "Every time Lotus Notes starts up, somewhere a puppy, a kitten, a lamb, and a baby seal are killed." - Gary Wheeler.

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                • B Brady Kelly

                  This jew prays to God that he wins the lottery. Every Sunday Morning he checks the winning numbers in the Sunday Times. Every Sunday he doesn't win. He goes to pray to God and asks him for a reason. The jew says "God, why have you forsaken me? Why don't I win the lottery" God responds "You need to meet me half way... you need to buy a ticket!"

                  J Offline
                  J Offline
                  J4amieC
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #9

                  Ive heard this joke a bunch of times before, never once with the person being a jew or a scot. I dont see the relevance of either (assumingly money-pinching). I have however heard the joke as an irishman. This is assuming that the irishman was too stupid to buy a ticket. It just goes to show that you can turn any joke into whatever racist meaning you so choose, as long as it started off with some sort of racist message.

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                  • V Vikram A Punathambekar

                    Would your response been the same had they been talking about Muslims?

                    Cheers, Vikram.


                    "I will put my new found knolage to good use" - Captain See Sharp. "Every time Lotus Notes starts up, somewhere a puppy, a kitten, a lamb, and a baby seal are killed." - Gary Wheeler.

                    R Offline
                    R Offline
                    R Giskard Reventlov
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #10

                    Yes it would as the context is all wrong: there's a difference between racist mockery and expounding a strongly held opinion.

                    bin the spin home

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                    • B Brady Kelly

                      Yes, and the Big Hole of Kimberly[^] was caused by a Jew dropping a penny down a rabbit hole. Oh the irony :wtf: That link came up second on a Google for "Kimberly hole".

                      B Offline
                      B Offline
                      BoneSoft
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #11

                      Brady Kelly wrote:

                      That link came up second on a Google for "Kimberly hole".

                      I'd say that's not irony but a miracle. I would expect a plethora of results of a different kind. Google has a tendency to ignore your punctuation and sometimes add it's own. At the least, I'd expect a link for "Did you mean Kimberly's hole?" ;P


                      Try code model generation tools at BoneSoft.com.

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                      • B BoneSoft

                        Brady Kelly wrote:

                        That link came up second on a Google for "Kimberly hole".

                        I'd say that's not irony but a miracle. I would expect a plethora of results of a different kind. Google has a tendency to ignore your punctuation and sometimes add it's own. At the least, I'd expect a link for "Did you mean Kimberly's hole?" ;P


                        Try code model generation tools at BoneSoft.com.

                        B Offline
                        B Offline
                        Brady Kelly
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #12

                        Yes, but the link is to Jewish Web South Africa.

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                        • J J4amieC

                          Ive heard this joke a bunch of times before, never once with the person being a jew or a scot. I dont see the relevance of either (assumingly money-pinching). I have however heard the joke as an irishman. This is assuming that the irishman was too stupid to buy a ticket. It just goes to show that you can turn any joke into whatever racist meaning you so choose, as long as it started off with some sort of racist message.

                          O Offline
                          O Offline
                          Oakman
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #13

                          J4amieC wrote:

                          It just goes to show that you can turn any joke into whatever racist meaning you so choose, as long as it started off with some sort of racist message

                          Careful, you are making much too good sense for this thread.

                          Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface

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