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  3. Spank The Monkey

Spank The Monkey

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • A Offline
    A Offline
    Alex Deem
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    click here to spank the monkey ;P

    P L J 3 Replies Last reply
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    • A Alex Deem

      click here to spank the monkey ;P

      P Offline
      P Offline
      Paul Watson
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Alex Deem wrote: click here to spank the monkey I cringe even asking but where on god's green earth did that awful phrase come from? I mean you don't spank it (unless you are into the whips and leather scene) and it certainly is no monkey! So what gives? regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass Cape Town, South Africa The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and to be loved in return - Moulin Rouge Michael P Butler wrote: Some people fantasise about "real people", others about celebs

      C L R T 5 Replies Last reply
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      • A Alex Deem

        click here to spank the monkey ;P

        L Offline
        L Offline
        L G
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        yeah, 342 mph!! :) --- $> cd /pub $> more beer

        L 1 Reply Last reply
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        • L L G

          yeah, 342 mph!! :) --- $> cd /pub $> more beer

          L Offline
          L Offline
          L G
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          better make that 408 mph... ;) --- $> cd /pub $> more beer

          A N 2 Replies Last reply
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          • L L G

            better make that 408 mph... ;) --- $> cd /pub $> more beer

            A Offline
            A Offline
            Alex Deem
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            cmon guys, you obviously havent had enough practice! ;P 870mph is the score to beat!

            L J 2 Replies Last reply
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            • P Paul Watson

              Alex Deem wrote: click here to spank the monkey I cringe even asking but where on god's green earth did that awful phrase come from? I mean you don't spank it (unless you are into the whips and leather scene) and it certainly is no monkey! So what gives? regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass Cape Town, South Africa The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and to be loved in return - Moulin Rouge Michael P Butler wrote: Some people fantasise about "real people", others about celebs

              C Offline
              C Offline
              Christopher Duncan
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              I could answer both of those, Paul, but it would only get me in trouble with Chris. :-D Chistopher Duncan Author - The Career Programmer: Guerilla Tactics for an Imperfect World (Apress)

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              • P Paul Watson

                Alex Deem wrote: click here to spank the monkey I cringe even asking but where on god's green earth did that awful phrase come from? I mean you don't spank it (unless you are into the whips and leather scene) and it certainly is no monkey! So what gives? regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass Cape Town, South Africa The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and to be loved in return - Moulin Rouge Michael P Butler wrote: Some people fantasise about "real people", others about celebs

                L Offline
                L Offline
                Lost User
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                Paul Watson wrote: I mean you don't spank it (unless you are into the whips and leather scene) and it certainly is no monkey! So what gives? Are you sure? Maybe some of those uneducated AIDS infected rape-a-virgin-and-your-cured morons do it this way. Maybe their's do look like monkeys. Aren't we worried that the mental imagery we're creating is Soapbox material? There maybe a gifted pre-school programmer who's innocently wandered in here and their head has just exploded. Michael Martin Australia mjm68@tpg.com.au "In Summer, I like to dance naked on the roof to celebrate the event of the temperature finally falling below 40C (usually about midnight). But the neighbors have lately taken up the habit of staying up late. And looking up, at times, from their dreary, pointless lives..." - Roger Wright 15/05/2002

                P 1 Reply Last reply
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                • P Paul Watson

                  Alex Deem wrote: click here to spank the monkey I cringe even asking but where on god's green earth did that awful phrase come from? I mean you don't spank it (unless you are into the whips and leather scene) and it certainly is no monkey! So what gives? regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass Cape Town, South Africa The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and to be loved in return - Moulin Rouge Michael P Butler wrote: Some people fantasise about "real people", others about celebs

                  R Offline
                  R Offline
                  realJSOP
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  Paul Watson wrote: I cringe even asking but where on god's green earth did that awful phrase come from? Well, I'm researching that, but while you wait, here's some additional variations on the phrase: audition the finger puppets backstroke roulette bash the candle be a virtuoso of the skin flute beat off beat the bishop beat the dummy beat the meat beat the stick beat up your date beef-stroke-it-off bleed the weed blow your load bludgeon the beefsteak bop the baloney box the Jesuit and get cockroaches boxing the bald champ buff the banana burp the baby burp the worm butter the corn choke Kojak choke the chicken choke the sheriff and wait for the posse to come clamp the pipe clean your rifle climb Mount Baldy closet Frisbee come into your own cook the cream of cock corral the tadpoles couch hockey for one crank the shank crimp the wire crown the king cuff the carrot diddle do a hand job do battle with the Purple Helmeted Warrior of Love do handiwork do the janitor thing drain the monster engage in safe sex fist fuck fist your mister five knuckle shuffle flog the dog flog the dong flog the hog flog your mule fondle the fig friggit gallup the antelope genitalic stimulation via phallengetic motion get a date with Slick Mittens get the German soldier marching get to know yourself give it a tug go a couple of rounds with ol' josh go on a date with Handrea and Palmela grease the pipe hack the hog have a conversation with the one-eyed trouser snake have a date with Fisty Palmer have a date with Rosie Palm and her five sisters have a J. Arthur (British special, after J. Arthur Rank, it's rhyming slang) have it off have sex with someone you love hitchhike to heaven hitchhike under the big top hold the sausage hostage hug the hog hump your hose jack hammer jack off jazz yourself jerk off jerkin' the Gherkin juggling the coullions meat with Mother Thumb and her four daughters knuckle shuffle on the ol' piss pump launching the rocket skyward lope the mule make instant pudding make the bald man puke mangle the midget manipulate the mango manual override master bacon meet Rosie Hancock milk the cow milk the lizard mount a corporal and four nerk your throbber null the void oil the glove onan's olympics pack your palm paddle the pickle paint the ceiling paint the pickle peel the banana peel som

                  B N 2 Replies Last reply
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                  • A Alex Deem

                    cmon guys, you obviously havent had enough practice! ;P 870mph is the score to beat!

                    L Offline
                    L Offline
                    loket
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    870!!!?? And i who just was about to brag with my 472 :( /:cool:


                    - Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.

                    L 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • L loket

                      870!!!?? And i who just was about to brag with my 472 :( /:cool:


                      - Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.

                      L Offline
                      L Offline
                      loket
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      Make that 700 now, im closing in.. :) /:cool:


                      - Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.

                      B 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • P Paul Watson

                        Alex Deem wrote: click here to spank the monkey I cringe even asking but where on god's green earth did that awful phrase come from? I mean you don't spank it (unless you are into the whips and leather scene) and it certainly is no monkey! So what gives? regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass Cape Town, South Africa The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and to be loved in return - Moulin Rouge Michael P Butler wrote: Some people fantasise about "real people", others about celebs

                        R Offline
                        R Offline
                        realJSOP
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        And I found this in an "alternative English language" web site: spank the monkey(verb phrase) + to masturbate, ie. "John was in the bathroom spanking the monkey" I think I'm going to sue them for using my name in their example. I no longer merely "masturbate, having long ago elevated the act to an art form. ------- signature starts "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001 Please review the Legal Disclaimer in my bio. ------- signature ends

                        1 Reply Last reply
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                        • L loket

                          Make that 700 now, im closing in.. :) /:cool:


                          - Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.

                          B Offline
                          B Offline
                          benjymous
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          I managed about 1500 once. I've got a screengrab of it on my computer at home -- Help me! I'm turning into a grapefruit!

                          R L 2 Replies Last reply
                          0
                          • R realJSOP

                            Paul Watson wrote: I cringe even asking but where on god's green earth did that awful phrase come from? Well, I'm researching that, but while you wait, here's some additional variations on the phrase: audition the finger puppets backstroke roulette bash the candle be a virtuoso of the skin flute beat off beat the bishop beat the dummy beat the meat beat the stick beat up your date beef-stroke-it-off bleed the weed blow your load bludgeon the beefsteak bop the baloney box the Jesuit and get cockroaches boxing the bald champ buff the banana burp the baby burp the worm butter the corn choke Kojak choke the chicken choke the sheriff and wait for the posse to come clamp the pipe clean your rifle climb Mount Baldy closet Frisbee come into your own cook the cream of cock corral the tadpoles couch hockey for one crank the shank crimp the wire crown the king cuff the carrot diddle do a hand job do battle with the Purple Helmeted Warrior of Love do handiwork do the janitor thing drain the monster engage in safe sex fist fuck fist your mister five knuckle shuffle flog the dog flog the dong flog the hog flog your mule fondle the fig friggit gallup the antelope genitalic stimulation via phallengetic motion get a date with Slick Mittens get the German soldier marching get to know yourself give it a tug go a couple of rounds with ol' josh go on a date with Handrea and Palmela grease the pipe hack the hog have a conversation with the one-eyed trouser snake have a date with Fisty Palmer have a date with Rosie Palm and her five sisters have a J. Arthur (British special, after J. Arthur Rank, it's rhyming slang) have it off have sex with someone you love hitchhike to heaven hitchhike under the big top hold the sausage hostage hug the hog hump your hose jack hammer jack off jazz yourself jerk off jerkin' the Gherkin juggling the coullions meat with Mother Thumb and her four daughters knuckle shuffle on the ol' piss pump launching the rocket skyward lope the mule make instant pudding make the bald man puke mangle the midget manipulate the mango manual override master bacon meet Rosie Hancock milk the cow milk the lizard mount a corporal and four nerk your throbber null the void oil the glove onan's olympics pack your palm paddle the pickle paint the ceiling paint the pickle peel the banana peel som

                            B Offline
                            B Offline
                            benjymous
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            You had that in a text file waiting for the right time to use it, didn't you? I'll help you out with your research: Play the pink oboe I can see this thread magically moving into the soapbox.. -- Help me! I'm turning into a grapefruit!

                            R 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • L Lost User

                              Paul Watson wrote: I mean you don't spank it (unless you are into the whips and leather scene) and it certainly is no monkey! So what gives? Are you sure? Maybe some of those uneducated AIDS infected rape-a-virgin-and-your-cured morons do it this way. Maybe their's do look like monkeys. Aren't we worried that the mental imagery we're creating is Soapbox material? There maybe a gifted pre-school programmer who's innocently wandered in here and their head has just exploded. Michael Martin Australia mjm68@tpg.com.au "In Summer, I like to dance naked on the roof to celebrate the event of the temperature finally falling below 40C (usually about midnight). But the neighbors have lately taken up the habit of staying up late. And looking up, at times, from their dreary, pointless lives..." - Roger Wright 15/05/2002

                              P Offline
                              P Offline
                              Paul Watson
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              Michael Martin wrote: their head has just exploded. *groan* That is just terrible. Definitley Soap Box time. regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass Cape Town, South Africa The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and to be loved in return - Moulin Rouge Michael P Butler wrote: Some people fantasise about "real people", others about celebs

                              L 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • B benjymous

                                I managed about 1500 once. I've got a screengrab of it on my computer at home -- Help me! I'm turning into a grapefruit!

                                R Offline
                                R Offline
                                realJSOP
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                benjymous wrote: I've got a screengrab Somehow, that phrase is appropos... ------- signature starts "...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001 Please review the Legal Disclaimer in my bio. ------- signature ends

                                B 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • P Paul Watson

                                  Michael Martin wrote: their head has just exploded. *groan* That is just terrible. Definitley Soap Box time. regards, Paul Watson Bluegrass Cape Town, South Africa The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and to be loved in return - Moulin Rouge Michael P Butler wrote: Some people fantasise about "real people", others about celebs

                                  L Offline
                                  L Offline
                                  Lost User
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  Paul Watson wrote: *groan* That is just terrible. Definitley Soap Box time. Don't know about South Africa but here in Australia pre-school means exactly that. Under 5, before starting school, so no sexual innuendo was included in that message. Michael Martin Australia mjm68@tpg.com.au "In Summer, I like to dance naked on the roof to celebrate the event of the temperature finally falling below 40C (usually about midnight). But the neighbors have lately taken up the habit of staying up late. And looking up, at times, from their dreary, pointless lives..." - Roger Wright 15/05/2002

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • B benjymous

                                    I managed about 1500 once. I've got a screengrab of it on my computer at home -- Help me! I'm turning into a grapefruit!

                                    L Offline
                                    L Offline
                                    loket
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    :omg: Ok, that's it....i give up! :( :-D /:cool:


                                    - Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • L L G

                                      better make that 408 mph... ;) --- $> cd /pub $> more beer

                                      N Offline
                                      N Offline
                                      NormDroid
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #18

                                      just spanked it at 443mph Normski. - Professional Windows Programmer

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • A Alex Deem

                                        click here to spank the monkey ;P

                                        J Offline
                                        J Offline
                                        Joao Vaz
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #19

                                        YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ! 511 mph !!!!!!!!!!!!! :omg: :cool: Cheers, Joao Vaz The loved ones never really leave us , they are always alive on our hearts and minds.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • A Alex Deem

                                          cmon guys, you obviously havent had enough practice! ;P 870mph is the score to beat!

                                          J Offline
                                          J Offline
                                          Joao Vaz
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #20

                                          Alex Deem wrote: 870mph is the score to beat! SHIT ! And I though that 511 was a great mark :rolleyes: Cheers, Joao Vaz The loved ones never really leave us , they are always alive on our hearts and minds.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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