Phone rings...
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Me: "Hello, [company name]" Female Caller, in the cutest, sexiest voice imaginable: "So what are you saying?" Me, thinking, who the hell is this? It's *definitely* not the wife, not any of my client contacts, not my boss (unless he had MAJOR surgery done during lunch), not a co-worker that I know, so who is it? And what the hell do they want?: "Err, yes? How can help you?" Caller, slight pause, still in sexy voice mode: "How are you?" Me: "Uh, fine.", grinning at this point, since I know it's going to be a wrong number. "Can I help you with something?" I'd offer helpful suggestions at this point, but just in case, I'll play it cool. Caller, a little cooler now : "Who am I speaking to?" Me: "Jim, at extension 5173", realizing my afternoon entertainment is about to come to very quick end. Caller: "Oh". Yes mademoiselle, 'Oh', you do indeed have the wrong number... Caller: "I must have the wrong number." No shit, Sherlock! We have a winner Don, tell her what she's won! Why Dick, a big suitcase, filled to the brim with 10 lb's of Clue Sticks! Me: "Possibly.", ever hopeful, miracles do happen... Caller: "Sorry to have bothered you. Bye." Me: "Bye" But not today! Cie la vie! I wonder who she ended up calling? :rolleyes:
¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! Real Mentats use only 100% pure, unfooled around with Sapho Juice(tm)! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog
I had a very late-night call from a woman. I *thought* I knew who it was. She began talking in a very sexy voice, leading into what I thought was dirty talk. Not being comfortable, I tried to verify if she was serious. She was. Maybe it was my Ned Flanders smoothness, but she blurts out "My husband's home bye". :wtf: HUSBAND?:mad: When I spoke to her again, she denied it ever happened. Wasn't her. Not married. Soooo...
"Neque porro quisquam est qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit amet, consectetur, adipisci velit..." "There is no one who loves pain itself, who seeks after it and wants to have it, simply because it is pain..."
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Me: "Hello, [company name]" Female Caller, in the cutest, sexiest voice imaginable: "So what are you saying?" Me, thinking, who the hell is this? It's *definitely* not the wife, not any of my client contacts, not my boss (unless he had MAJOR surgery done during lunch), not a co-worker that I know, so who is it? And what the hell do they want?: "Err, yes? How can help you?" Caller, slight pause, still in sexy voice mode: "How are you?" Me: "Uh, fine.", grinning at this point, since I know it's going to be a wrong number. "Can I help you with something?" I'd offer helpful suggestions at this point, but just in case, I'll play it cool. Caller, a little cooler now : "Who am I speaking to?" Me: "Jim, at extension 5173", realizing my afternoon entertainment is about to come to very quick end. Caller: "Oh". Yes mademoiselle, 'Oh', you do indeed have the wrong number... Caller: "I must have the wrong number." No shit, Sherlock! We have a winner Don, tell her what she's won! Why Dick, a big suitcase, filled to the brim with 10 lb's of Clue Sticks! Me: "Possibly.", ever hopeful, miracles do happen... Caller: "Sorry to have bothered you. Bye." Me: "Bye" But not today! Cie la vie! I wonder who she ended up calling? :rolleyes:
¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! Real Mentats use only 100% pure, unfooled around with Sapho Juice(tm)! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog
Jim Crafton wrote:
a big suitcase, filled to the brim with 10 lb's of Clue Sticks
:laugh::laugh::laugh:
"That's the problem with a spell checker. It only helps with bad spelling, not stupidity." - Rob Graham
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Me: "Hello, [company name]" Female Caller, in the cutest, sexiest voice imaginable: "So what are you saying?" Me, thinking, who the hell is this? It's *definitely* not the wife, not any of my client contacts, not my boss (unless he had MAJOR surgery done during lunch), not a co-worker that I know, so who is it? And what the hell do they want?: "Err, yes? How can help you?" Caller, slight pause, still in sexy voice mode: "How are you?" Me: "Uh, fine.", grinning at this point, since I know it's going to be a wrong number. "Can I help you with something?" I'd offer helpful suggestions at this point, but just in case, I'll play it cool. Caller, a little cooler now : "Who am I speaking to?" Me: "Jim, at extension 5173", realizing my afternoon entertainment is about to come to very quick end. Caller: "Oh". Yes mademoiselle, 'Oh', you do indeed have the wrong number... Caller: "I must have the wrong number." No shit, Sherlock! We have a winner Don, tell her what she's won! Why Dick, a big suitcase, filled to the brim with 10 lb's of Clue Sticks! Me: "Possibly.", ever hopeful, miracles do happen... Caller: "Sorry to have bothered you. Bye." Me: "Bye" But not today! Cie la vie! I wonder who she ended up calling? :rolleyes:
¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! Real Mentats use only 100% pure, unfooled around with Sapho Juice(tm)! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog
Jim Crafton wrote:
not my boss (unless he had MAJOR surgery done during lunch)
I am guessing it's his girl friend calling, just to keep your hope alive.
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Me: "Hello, [company name]" Female Caller, in the cutest, sexiest voice imaginable: "So what are you saying?" Me, thinking, who the hell is this? It's *definitely* not the wife, not any of my client contacts, not my boss (unless he had MAJOR surgery done during lunch), not a co-worker that I know, so who is it? And what the hell do they want?: "Err, yes? How can help you?" Caller, slight pause, still in sexy voice mode: "How are you?" Me: "Uh, fine.", grinning at this point, since I know it's going to be a wrong number. "Can I help you with something?" I'd offer helpful suggestions at this point, but just in case, I'll play it cool. Caller, a little cooler now : "Who am I speaking to?" Me: "Jim, at extension 5173", realizing my afternoon entertainment is about to come to very quick end. Caller: "Oh". Yes mademoiselle, 'Oh', you do indeed have the wrong number... Caller: "I must have the wrong number." No shit, Sherlock! We have a winner Don, tell her what she's won! Why Dick, a big suitcase, filled to the brim with 10 lb's of Clue Sticks! Me: "Possibly.", ever hopeful, miracles do happen... Caller: "Sorry to have bothered you. Bye." Me: "Bye" But not today! Cie la vie! I wonder who she ended up calling? :rolleyes:
¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! Real Mentats use only 100% pure, unfooled around with Sapho Juice(tm)! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog
I woulda gotten lunch outa that... I think you need the suitcase Jim. :)
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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"...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001 -
I woulda gotten lunch outa that... I think you need the suitcase Jim. :)
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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"...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001Perhaps. Maybe I'm just a bit cautious about completely unknown sexy sounding strangers calling me up out of the blue at work... Next time, I'll think of you, and try and stay on my toes. "What would John say?"
¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! Real Mentats use only 100% pure, unfooled around with Sapho Juice(tm)! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog
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Perhaps. Maybe I'm just a bit cautious about completely unknown sexy sounding strangers calling me up out of the blue at work... Next time, I'll think of you, and try and stay on my toes. "What would John say?"
¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! Real Mentats use only 100% pure, unfooled around with Sapho Juice(tm)! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog
Jim Crafton wrote:
Next time, I'll think of you, and try and stay on my toes. "What would John say?"
I think you'd just be better off sending her over her for lunch. :) Semi-related anecdote: I had a girlfriend (gorgeous blond sporting 38DD's) that showed up at my work one day (without notifying me ahead of time). She was wearing a trench coat, under which she had on nothing but a garter and some stockings, and finished off the whole getup with some spiked high heels. We went to lunch, and then went home. I was gone from work for three days.
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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"...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001 -
Jim Crafton wrote:
No sh*t, Sherlock! We have a winner Don, tell her what she's won! Why Dick, a big suitcase, filled to the brim with 10 lb's of Clue Sticks!
:laugh: I don't care who you are, that's just funny.
:..::. Douglas H. Troy ::..
Bad Astronomy |VCF|wxWidgets|WTLDouglas Troy wrote:
I don't care who you are, that's just funny.
You beat me to it. :) Mike
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. "George Carlin
Semper Fi http://www.hq4thmarinescomm.com[^]
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Jim Crafton wrote:
Next time, I'll think of you, and try and stay on my toes. "What would John say?"
I think you'd just be better off sending her over her for lunch. :) Semi-related anecdote: I had a girlfriend (gorgeous blond sporting 38DD's) that showed up at my work one day (without notifying me ahead of time). She was wearing a trench coat, under which she had on nothing but a garter and some stockings, and finished off the whole getup with some spiked high heels. We went to lunch, and then went home. I was gone from work for three days.
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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"...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001Oh puhhhlease! That was completely lifted from Sept 1988 Penthouse Forum. I should know, I sent it in! :)
¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! Real Mentats use only 100% pure, unfooled around with Sapho Juice(tm)! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog
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Me: "Hello, [company name]" Female Caller, in the cutest, sexiest voice imaginable: "So what are you saying?" Me, thinking, who the hell is this? It's *definitely* not the wife, not any of my client contacts, not my boss (unless he had MAJOR surgery done during lunch), not a co-worker that I know, so who is it? And what the hell do they want?: "Err, yes? How can help you?" Caller, slight pause, still in sexy voice mode: "How are you?" Me: "Uh, fine.", grinning at this point, since I know it's going to be a wrong number. "Can I help you with something?" I'd offer helpful suggestions at this point, but just in case, I'll play it cool. Caller, a little cooler now : "Who am I speaking to?" Me: "Jim, at extension 5173", realizing my afternoon entertainment is about to come to very quick end. Caller: "Oh". Yes mademoiselle, 'Oh', you do indeed have the wrong number... Caller: "I must have the wrong number." No shit, Sherlock! We have a winner Don, tell her what she's won! Why Dick, a big suitcase, filled to the brim with 10 lb's of Clue Sticks! Me: "Possibly.", ever hopeful, miracles do happen... Caller: "Sorry to have bothered you. Bye." Me: "Bye" But not today! Cie la vie! I wonder who she ended up calling? :rolleyes:
¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! Real Mentats use only 100% pure, unfooled around with Sapho Juice(tm)! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog
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So you are the one I called! Sorry about that...
New Poll! Current Rant: none. looking for job. http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]
Such a dirty tease!!! :) Next time the number straight!
¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! Real Mentats use only 100% pure, unfooled around with Sapho Juice(tm)! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog
