Programmer Insults
-
In the world of programming, we have many hilarious stereotypes, some new (owing to emerging technologies), some old (owing to legacy stuff). Here are a few good ones I am trying to make: Please modify them with better humor if you can and fill up the blank ones (There are a total of ten): 1. How to insult someone’s programming skills: Just ask: "You must be a VB coder, right? No wonder." 2. How to insult someone’s programming skills strongly: Just ask: "You must be a VBA coder, right? Excel macros and all? Ok, now I know why." 3. How to insult someone’s programming skills severely: Just state: "You must be an HTML coder, right? Ok, a database table is different from an HTML table, trust me." 4. How to insult a J2EE/Java programmer: "No, I need this application to be built and functioning while I’m alive. Thank you." 5. How to insult a dotNET programmer: "No, you cannot drag-and-drop things like that in real life. You have to put it neatly where it should be." 6. How to insult a MainFrame programmer: "Hey, I got an error recently which said: Mainframe deceased due to aging diseases. Please attend the funeral with magnetic tapes and lethal electrical cabling." 7. How to insult a C++ programmer: "" 8. How to insult a C programmer: "" 9. How to insult an Assembler programmer: "" 10. Finally, how to insult a programmer in general: "" C’mon people, I’m bloody sure your sarcastic, cruel and unforgiving mockery will be best fit for this. ;) Just don’t swear. Keep it………..ahem……clean. :)
ASP - AJAX is SEXY. PERIOD.
-
Bulky Fellow wrote:
10. Finally, how to insult a programmer in general:
Hey, interesting code, you really are management material. OR Hey do you know how much a plumber earns these days?
Lol lol lol.........but that's also a big insult to the management folks. Good one! lol. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
ASP - AJAX is SEXY. PERIOD.
-
Lol, good one. And although dotNet would be it, how would you insult a CSharp programmer? I was thinking "You have sharp vision? Well, that's not what we are looking for. C# and see sharp are different..........wait, you don't get it, do you?" he he.
ASP - AJAX is SEXY. PERIOD.
Bulky Fellow wrote:
how would you insult a CSharp programmer?
Oh so you make websites with buttons?
Word, write letters and sh*t yo. It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird. Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
-
In the world of programming, we have many hilarious stereotypes, some new (owing to emerging technologies), some old (owing to legacy stuff). Here are a few good ones I am trying to make: Please modify them with better humor if you can and fill up the blank ones (There are a total of ten): 1. How to insult someone’s programming skills: Just ask: "You must be a VB coder, right? No wonder." 2. How to insult someone’s programming skills strongly: Just ask: "You must be a VBA coder, right? Excel macros and all? Ok, now I know why." 3. How to insult someone’s programming skills severely: Just state: "You must be an HTML coder, right? Ok, a database table is different from an HTML table, trust me." 4. How to insult a J2EE/Java programmer: "No, I need this application to be built and functioning while I’m alive. Thank you." 5. How to insult a dotNET programmer: "No, you cannot drag-and-drop things like that in real life. You have to put it neatly where it should be." 6. How to insult a MainFrame programmer: "Hey, I got an error recently which said: Mainframe deceased due to aging diseases. Please attend the funeral with magnetic tapes and lethal electrical cabling." 7. How to insult a C++ programmer: "" 8. How to insult a C programmer: "" 9. How to insult an Assembler programmer: "" 10. Finally, how to insult a programmer in general: "" C’mon people, I’m bloody sure your sarcastic, cruel and unforgiving mockery will be best fit for this. ;) Just don’t swear. Keep it………..ahem……clean. :)
ASP - AJAX is SEXY. PERIOD.
Bulky Fellow wrote:
4. How to insult a J2EE/Java programmer:
What are you doing downloading a 300 MB library? I just need a hello world application.
Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself. - Cicero .·´¯`·->Rajesh<-·´¯`·. Codeproject.com: Visual C++ MVP
-
In the world of programming, we have many hilarious stereotypes, some new (owing to emerging technologies), some old (owing to legacy stuff). Here are a few good ones I am trying to make: Please modify them with better humor if you can and fill up the blank ones (There are a total of ten): 1. How to insult someone’s programming skills: Just ask: "You must be a VB coder, right? No wonder." 2. How to insult someone’s programming skills strongly: Just ask: "You must be a VBA coder, right? Excel macros and all? Ok, now I know why." 3. How to insult someone’s programming skills severely: Just state: "You must be an HTML coder, right? Ok, a database table is different from an HTML table, trust me." 4. How to insult a J2EE/Java programmer: "No, I need this application to be built and functioning while I’m alive. Thank you." 5. How to insult a dotNET programmer: "No, you cannot drag-and-drop things like that in real life. You have to put it neatly where it should be." 6. How to insult a MainFrame programmer: "Hey, I got an error recently which said: Mainframe deceased due to aging diseases. Please attend the funeral with magnetic tapes and lethal electrical cabling." 7. How to insult a C++ programmer: "" 8. How to insult a C programmer: "" 9. How to insult an Assembler programmer: "" 10. Finally, how to insult a programmer in general: "" C’mon people, I’m bloody sure your sarcastic, cruel and unforgiving mockery will be best fit for this. ;) Just don’t swear. Keep it………..ahem……clean. :)
ASP - AJAX is SEXY. PERIOD.
Bulky Fellow wrote:
6. How to insult a MainFrame programmer: "Hey, I got an error recently which said: Mainframe deceased due to aging diseases. Please attend the funeral with magnetic tapes and lethal electrical cabling."
Speaking as mainframe programmer (in origin and possibly mind-set, if no longer in practice), this didn't even begin to insult me; it just left me scratching my head. It's impossible to insult someone with incoherency.
-
In the world of programming, we have many hilarious stereotypes, some new (owing to emerging technologies), some old (owing to legacy stuff). Here are a few good ones I am trying to make: Please modify them with better humor if you can and fill up the blank ones (There are a total of ten): 1. How to insult someone’s programming skills: Just ask: "You must be a VB coder, right? No wonder." 2. How to insult someone’s programming skills strongly: Just ask: "You must be a VBA coder, right? Excel macros and all? Ok, now I know why." 3. How to insult someone’s programming skills severely: Just state: "You must be an HTML coder, right? Ok, a database table is different from an HTML table, trust me." 4. How to insult a J2EE/Java programmer: "No, I need this application to be built and functioning while I’m alive. Thank you." 5. How to insult a dotNET programmer: "No, you cannot drag-and-drop things like that in real life. You have to put it neatly where it should be." 6. How to insult a MainFrame programmer: "Hey, I got an error recently which said: Mainframe deceased due to aging diseases. Please attend the funeral with magnetic tapes and lethal electrical cabling." 7. How to insult a C++ programmer: "" 8. How to insult a C programmer: "" 9. How to insult an Assembler programmer: "" 10. Finally, how to insult a programmer in general: "" C’mon people, I’m bloody sure your sarcastic, cruel and unforgiving mockery will be best fit for this. ;) Just don’t swear. Keep it………..ahem……clean. :)
ASP - AJAX is SEXY. PERIOD.
Bulky Fellow wrote:
7. How to insult a C++ programmer: 8. How to insult a C programmer:
Excuse me sir but your memory is leaking. Did you lost any pointer today?
Bulky Fellow wrote:
9. How to insult an Assembler programmer:
Dinosaurs did optimization of register allocation. Mammals let the compiler take care of it so they could worry about object oriented design. That's evolution for you.
Of all forms of sexual aberration, the most unnatural is abstinence.
-
In the world of programming, we have many hilarious stereotypes, some new (owing to emerging technologies), some old (owing to legacy stuff). Here are a few good ones I am trying to make: Please modify them with better humor if you can and fill up the blank ones (There are a total of ten): 1. How to insult someone’s programming skills: Just ask: "You must be a VB coder, right? No wonder." 2. How to insult someone’s programming skills strongly: Just ask: "You must be a VBA coder, right? Excel macros and all? Ok, now I know why." 3. How to insult someone’s programming skills severely: Just state: "You must be an HTML coder, right? Ok, a database table is different from an HTML table, trust me." 4. How to insult a J2EE/Java programmer: "No, I need this application to be built and functioning while I’m alive. Thank you." 5. How to insult a dotNET programmer: "No, you cannot drag-and-drop things like that in real life. You have to put it neatly where it should be." 6. How to insult a MainFrame programmer: "Hey, I got an error recently which said: Mainframe deceased due to aging diseases. Please attend the funeral with magnetic tapes and lethal electrical cabling." 7. How to insult a C++ programmer: "" 8. How to insult a C programmer: "" 9. How to insult an Assembler programmer: "" 10. Finally, how to insult a programmer in general: "" C’mon people, I’m bloody sure your sarcastic, cruel and unforgiving mockery will be best fit for this. ;) Just don’t swear. Keep it………..ahem……clean. :)
ASP - AJAX is SEXY. PERIOD.
-
Bulky Fellow wrote:
6. How to insult a MainFrame programmer: "Hey, I got an error recently which said: Mainframe deceased due to aging diseases. Please attend the funeral with magnetic tapes and lethal electrical cabling."
Speaking as mainframe programmer (in origin and possibly mind-set, if no longer in practice), this didn't even begin to insult me; it just left me scratching my head. It's impossible to insult someone with incoherency.
Ilíon wrote:
It's impossible to insult someone with incoherency.
Hey, you're finally starting to learn. ;) And just when I'd given up...
Try code model generation tools at BoneSoft.com.
-
In the world of programming, we have many hilarious stereotypes, some new (owing to emerging technologies), some old (owing to legacy stuff). Here are a few good ones I am trying to make: Please modify them with better humor if you can and fill up the blank ones (There are a total of ten): 1. How to insult someone’s programming skills: Just ask: "You must be a VB coder, right? No wonder." 2. How to insult someone’s programming skills strongly: Just ask: "You must be a VBA coder, right? Excel macros and all? Ok, now I know why." 3. How to insult someone’s programming skills severely: Just state: "You must be an HTML coder, right? Ok, a database table is different from an HTML table, trust me." 4. How to insult a J2EE/Java programmer: "No, I need this application to be built and functioning while I’m alive. Thank you." 5. How to insult a dotNET programmer: "No, you cannot drag-and-drop things like that in real life. You have to put it neatly where it should be." 6. How to insult a MainFrame programmer: "Hey, I got an error recently which said: Mainframe deceased due to aging diseases. Please attend the funeral with magnetic tapes and lethal electrical cabling." 7. How to insult a C++ programmer: "" 8. How to insult a C programmer: "" 9. How to insult an Assembler programmer: "" 10. Finally, how to insult a programmer in general: "" C’mon people, I’m bloody sure your sarcastic, cruel and unforgiving mockery will be best fit for this. ;) Just don’t swear. Keep it………..ahem……clean. :)
ASP - AJAX is SEXY. PERIOD.
Bulky Fellow wrote:
10. Finally, how to insult a programmer in general:
Yeah, I read that book too. But I also read the reviews.
Try code model generation tools at BoneSoft.com.
-
Lol, good one. And although dotNet would be it, how would you insult a CSharp programmer? I was thinking "You have sharp vision? Well, that's not what we are looking for. C# and see sharp are different..........wait, you don't get it, do you?" he he.
ASP - AJAX is SEXY. PERIOD.
Bulky Fellow wrote:
how would you insult a CSharp programmer?
Why? Don't they have enough problems? or Good boy! Soon you'll be ready for a grown-up language.
Mark Salsbery Microsoft MVP - Visual C++ :java:
-
Bulky Fellow wrote:
how would you insult a CSharp programmer?
Why? Don't they have enough problems? or Good boy! Soon you'll be ready for a grown-up language.
Mark Salsbery Microsoft MVP - Visual C++ :java:
-
In the world of programming, we have many hilarious stereotypes, some new (owing to emerging technologies), some old (owing to legacy stuff). Here are a few good ones I am trying to make: Please modify them with better humor if you can and fill up the blank ones (There are a total of ten): 1. How to insult someone’s programming skills: Just ask: "You must be a VB coder, right? No wonder." 2. How to insult someone’s programming skills strongly: Just ask: "You must be a VBA coder, right? Excel macros and all? Ok, now I know why." 3. How to insult someone’s programming skills severely: Just state: "You must be an HTML coder, right? Ok, a database table is different from an HTML table, trust me." 4. How to insult a J2EE/Java programmer: "No, I need this application to be built and functioning while I’m alive. Thank you." 5. How to insult a dotNET programmer: "No, you cannot drag-and-drop things like that in real life. You have to put it neatly where it should be." 6. How to insult a MainFrame programmer: "Hey, I got an error recently which said: Mainframe deceased due to aging diseases. Please attend the funeral with magnetic tapes and lethal electrical cabling." 7. How to insult a C++ programmer: "" 8. How to insult a C programmer: "" 9. How to insult an Assembler programmer: "" 10. Finally, how to insult a programmer in general: "" C’mon people, I’m bloody sure your sarcastic, cruel and unforgiving mockery will be best fit for this. ;) Just don’t swear. Keep it………..ahem……clean. :)
ASP - AJAX is SEXY. PERIOD.
-
Bulky Fellow wrote:
10. Finally, how to insult a programmer in general:
Do a code review ;)
led mike
Snap Zing!
Mark Salsbery Microsoft MVP - Visual C++ :java:
-
In the world of programming, we have many hilarious stereotypes, some new (owing to emerging technologies), some old (owing to legacy stuff). Here are a few good ones I am trying to make: Please modify them with better humor if you can and fill up the blank ones (There are a total of ten): 1. How to insult someone’s programming skills: Just ask: "You must be a VB coder, right? No wonder." 2. How to insult someone’s programming skills strongly: Just ask: "You must be a VBA coder, right? Excel macros and all? Ok, now I know why." 3. How to insult someone’s programming skills severely: Just state: "You must be an HTML coder, right? Ok, a database table is different from an HTML table, trust me." 4. How to insult a J2EE/Java programmer: "No, I need this application to be built and functioning while I’m alive. Thank you." 5. How to insult a dotNET programmer: "No, you cannot drag-and-drop things like that in real life. You have to put it neatly where it should be." 6. How to insult a MainFrame programmer: "Hey, I got an error recently which said: Mainframe deceased due to aging diseases. Please attend the funeral with magnetic tapes and lethal electrical cabling." 7. How to insult a C++ programmer: "" 8. How to insult a C programmer: "" 9. How to insult an Assembler programmer: "" 10. Finally, how to insult a programmer in general: "" C’mon people, I’m bloody sure your sarcastic, cruel and unforgiving mockery will be best fit for this. ;) Just don’t swear. Keep it………..ahem……clean. :)
ASP - AJAX is SEXY. PERIOD.
Sir, your code is in compliance with Section 508, FISMA and NIST guidelines? You are compliant with exhibit 54 and or exhibit 300 regulations? Sir your application does fit in with record keeping and forensic guidelines of the Sarbanes Oxley act? Your application sir is ISO-9000 compliant and your database structure following 5th normal form of database design. Sir you are adherent at a minimum to Capability Maturity Model level 3? … you say not quite sir? Please begin again this time following established procedures.
MrPlankton
-
In the world of programming, we have many hilarious stereotypes, some new (owing to emerging technologies), some old (owing to legacy stuff). Here are a few good ones I am trying to make: Please modify them with better humor if you can and fill up the blank ones (There are a total of ten): 1. How to insult someone’s programming skills: Just ask: "You must be a VB coder, right? No wonder." 2. How to insult someone’s programming skills strongly: Just ask: "You must be a VBA coder, right? Excel macros and all? Ok, now I know why." 3. How to insult someone’s programming skills severely: Just state: "You must be an HTML coder, right? Ok, a database table is different from an HTML table, trust me." 4. How to insult a J2EE/Java programmer: "No, I need this application to be built and functioning while I’m alive. Thank you." 5. How to insult a dotNET programmer: "No, you cannot drag-and-drop things like that in real life. You have to put it neatly where it should be." 6. How to insult a MainFrame programmer: "Hey, I got an error recently which said: Mainframe deceased due to aging diseases. Please attend the funeral with magnetic tapes and lethal electrical cabling." 7. How to insult a C++ programmer: "" 8. How to insult a C programmer: "" 9. How to insult an Assembler programmer: "" 10. Finally, how to insult a programmer in general: "" C’mon people, I’m bloody sure your sarcastic, cruel and unforgiving mockery will be best fit for this. ;) Just don’t swear. Keep it………..ahem……clean. :)
ASP - AJAX is SEXY. PERIOD.
Bulky Fellow wrote:
2. How to insult someone’s programming skills strongly:
Your code is state of the art? I see you have moved up to fingerpainting.
I'm pretty sure I would not like to live in a world in which I would never be offended. I am absolutely certain I don't want to live in a world in which you would never be offended. Dave
-
Bulky Fellow wrote:
how would you insult a CSharp programmer?
Why? Don't they have enough problems? or Good boy! Soon you'll be ready for a grown-up language.
Mark Salsbery Microsoft MVP - Visual C++ :java:
Mark Salsbery wrote:
Soon
:~
Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself. - Cicero .·´¯`·->Rajesh<-·´¯`·. Codeproject.com: Visual C++ MVP
-
Bulky Fellow wrote:
4. How to insult a J2EE/Java programmer:
What are you doing downloading a 300 MB library? I just need a hello world application.
Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself. - Cicero .·´¯`·->Rajesh<-·´¯`·. Codeproject.com: Visual C++ MVP
Rajesh R Subramanian wrote:
What are you doing downloading a 300 MB library?
Isn't MSDN still bloated?
Vasudevan Deepak Kumar Personal Homepage
Tech Gossips
A pessimist sees only the dark side of the clouds, and mopes; a philosopher sees both sides, and shrugs; an optimist doesn't see the clouds at all - he's walking on them. --Leonard Louis Levinson -
Rajesh R Subramanian wrote:
What are you doing downloading a 300 MB library?
Isn't MSDN still bloated?
Vasudevan Deepak Kumar Personal Homepage
Tech Gossips
A pessimist sees only the dark side of the clouds, and mopes; a philosopher sees both sides, and shrugs; an optimist doesn't see the clouds at all - he's walking on them. --Leonard Louis LevinsonLeave it, mate. You did not even understand the joke.
Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself. - Cicero .·´¯`·->Rajesh<-·´¯`·. Codeproject.com: Visual C++ MVP